Fix You
by donnapie
Summary: Rachel's sure that Finn is the 1 so when he dumps her for Quinn, she came up with a plan to get him back.That of engaging Puck's help to be her pretend BF to make Finn see that they're meant to be. But what happens if pretend turns into reality?PUCKLEBERY
1. Authors Drabbles

**AUTHORS NOTE**:

I am an avid FinChel shipper and i definitely adore all things FinChel...

However, there is a part of me that is also a closet Puckleberry and i can confidently say that if only Finn and Rachel are not end game and i am not this invested, i would seriously, seriously be shipping these two and flailing over them like it's nobody's business...

This story came to me while writing my other fiction **THE LAST GOODBYE**...

I have always just been fascinated with the whole idea of soulmates and i think Rachel and Finn really believe that they are each others...

However, i suddenly had a thought...

What if the person whom we thought would be the love of our life turn out to be not THE ONE at all...

What would happen then?

Will all these preconceived notions of having an ideal be the trigger in making us lose the love that is right in front of our eyes?

Thus, the idea of **FIX YOU** has taken root in my brain and it would not leave at all until i put it to words so here i am...

The story is set in an alternate universe where Puck and Rachel do not know each other and they are already adults but their characteristics as their characters in Glee will basically remain the same...

Since i really love taking inspiration from song lyrics, i will also entitle the chapters of this fic according to the song that best fit the chapter...

_**Word of warning: The story starts out as FinChel but it will definitely be Puckleberry as endgame...**___

Since i also am a drama queen, there will most definitely be angst but humor will also be utilized in some aspects of the story...

_**Comments are LOVE! So i hope you'd find the time to leave a note!**_

Thanks and Happy Reading...

**SUMMARY:**

So whoever thought of the saying. "If you love someone set them free…?"

Definitely not Rachel Berry…

Two months ago, her life was flawless… She was the toast of the town as a Broadway ingenue… her talent touted to be the next big thing ever since Kristen Chenowyth hit it big in Wicked and what more, everybody envies her for having the most goodlooking, successful, loyal, perfect boyfriend having been in a relationship with him ever since high school up until that moment…

Well, that is until he dropped a bomb on her that he would be leaving her for another woman…

Dumbfounded and at a loss, Rachel's life spirals out of control as she wallows over their breakup… however, her strong, determined side cannot take this sitting down…

With a positive outlook on the way things are going in her life, Rachel swore to herself that she'd do everything in her power to make her ex feel how nobody else can be as perfect together as they are and that he'd come running back to her no matter the cost…

But where to start?

As Rachel goes through the quest of trying to fix her broken heart, she trudges through operation: ex-boyfriend clumsily… Most of the time, ending up embarassing herself as she focused only on the end result of getting her seemingly one true love back into her life…

But then, she met the drop dead gorgeous, cold, stiff lipped, wealthy ex of the girl that her boyfriend is now dating…

Suddenly, Rachel gets a harebrained idea… that of joining forces with Mr. Rude and arrogant and them pretending to date so that they can kill two birds with one stone… maybe then she can make her ex realize what he has missed that he'd come running back into her arms and maybe, just maybe she can also help in getting his ex and him back together again?

Her plan was perfect! Or is it?

It was seemingly foolproof thinking about it, but as time goes by, this guy gets under her skin more than she lets on… He's everything she hates and yet he makes her feel things that she has never felt before…How on earth did all that happen? What is Rachel to do when he gets her all confused and bothered? And what will happen when her exboyfriend falls into her scheme and realizes that indeed leaving her was a mistake and that only she can make him happy…

Will Rachel feel a sense of accomplishment and now be truly happy like she imagined when things fall according to how she planned it?

**PREVIEW:**

There he is...to your left...Geez are you blind? He's right there! red plaid shirt, dark washed jeans, chuck taylors and that truckers cap that instead of hiding his good looks, only manages to make him more like a poster boy for the gorgeous guy next door... See him now?

Dammit! are you seriously making fun of me? How can I fall in love with a hobbitt when I had Legolas previously?

Concentrate Noah... Concentrate... Now tell me, do you now see who I'm talking about?

Whatever. I don't have the time to argue.

Come on they're leaving. Damn your exgirlfriend who is now his girlfriend. Why does she have to hang on to him all the time? Did she really come from a family of monkies? I would have seriously believed that if only she is not so damned beautiful that it would have been impossible...

Know anyone who murders people for a living instead?

What are you laughing about? This is my future on the line.

But as I watch you watch her tiptoe on her feet to give him a long, deep kiss I can see that you are not as unaffected as you make yourself seem to be...

Sigh. If only you were my type.

But ever since I was 12, I already knew that I wanted someone so unlike you...

Someone who gives me warm, comfortable feelings and not one who makes me confused and makes my heart feel as if it's going to leap out of my chest whenever they come near...

Someone who's constant, a little boring, maybe a little dumb and one who definitely walks the straight line.

But, Hello? Out of all the guys I knew, you're the farthest from that description... In fact you're the closest thing to a criminal that I've ever known.

You don't get it? HA! As if you're not so short tempered that you're ready to hit anyone over the slightest things...

And yet...and yet... you treat me as if I'm fragile even if you insult most of the things that I give importance to...

See? What did I say? Confusing isn't it?

What the- Is it really necessary to pull me that close to you as they draw nearer?

You could have just - Hmmm... what is that perfume you're wearing? You smell good... Let me just get comfortable and rest my head a little bit more on your chest like so - There.

I wonder what it would be like if we ended up together? Would we still argue as much? I bet we'd still have as much fun together the way we're doing now... maybe even more...

Another sigh.

Didn't I just say that you're not my type? That you don't have the qualities that I look for in a guy? But why is it that even if I'm chasing after someone I've dreamt of all my life, you're now the one that I have constant thoughts of? To the point that just when I'm about to sleep at night, I think of your annoying sneers, your sarcastic lines, your violent streaks and surprisingly, I find myself thinking it's not that bad.

What? What do you mean they saw us? Are you sure? SERIOUSLY? Dammit this is embarassing.

But even more embarassing is the fact that I didn't even see these feelings for you coming.

Triple Sigh.

That's all I could do. Give out endless sighs. Because I know that no matter what happens, nothing will come out of this because just as much as you're not my type, I bet I'm not yours too...

Whatever. Let's get out of here.

And as I pull your hand to drag you away from where my humiliation lies, I didn't notice the tender look you threw my way that might have changed my mind that maybe, just maybe we could have a fighting chance. 


	2. Prologue

**PROLOGUE:**

"Let's break up…"

Rachel's hand stilled in the middle of stirring the coffee she's preparing for Finn… her mouth still slightly open and her story caught midsentence as Finn seemed to drop an unexpected bomb at her from out of the blue…

This is an absolute nightmare… a nightmare that she's currently in the middle of dreaming and she's sure that if she just pinch herself, she would wake up in the middle of her bedroom floor with her blankets twisted about her and her pyjamas sticking to her back drenched in cold sweat…

There must be some sort of mistake… She couldn't have heard what she just heard, could she? How can this be freakin' real? She is making coffee the way Finn likes it… two sachets of equal, no cream but a dollop of milk… He is seated across from her in her spacious lofts living room which they jointly redecorated just two months ago… his slumped figure directly in her line of vision that she can even smell his scent even if there was quite a distance between her living room and that of her chicly designed german industrial steel kitchen counter where she's currently standing…

Rachel gave a forced chuckle… What could possibly be wrong? Finn was his usual sweet self when they met and he even gave her a kiss when she opened the door for him just ten minutes ago… He's even wearing the cashmere sweater that she gave him last Christmas for heavens sake… there's no way in hell that this could really be happening…

Dang it! It must be the numerous sleepless nights that she's spending working… that and the stress that she's under about the starring role she got for Evita which is just about to premiere two weeks later…

Yes that must be it, but just when Rachel's heart was almost about settled… Finn lifted his head… his sad eyes looking directly at her…

"I want out Rachel… it's not working…"

There goes that theory.. Fuck, so this is real?

Rachel's hand clenched on top of the kitchen counter so hard that her knuckles turned white… If she just disregards that sentence, she's sure Finn would break out into a smile a couple of seconds after… Boy, would she make him pay hell once he comes clean about making such a bad joke… Uh-huh, she would… He'd have to beg and grovel for days and he'd have to buy her the biggest diamond he could ever find in Tiffany's… Ha! She'd get one over him and she surely would not let him have his moment of triumph of laughing at her over this…

Watch out Finn Hudson… let's see who has the last laugh over such a tasteless joke once I'm done with you…

Rachel took a deep breath as she pretends not to hear anything and continues with her story… her slightly trembling voice the only indication that she is more rattled about this whole situation than what she has really let on…

"Haha! Very funny Finn…"

She rolled her eyes as she tried to sound sarcastic but to her ears she sounded more pathetic…

"As I was saying, you should have gone to the theater to wait for me instead of coming over so late… I know we barely had…"

"It's over Rachel… I'm sorry …"

And as if that was not enough, his next sentence made Rachel felt as if she just received a huge blow right in the middle of her chest…

"There's… there's someone else…"

Finn's voice was soft… barely audible… Rachel took a sharp intake of breath, otherwise she would have fainted right then and there… In that moment she knew that there was no more use lying to herself or making herself believe that this isn't happening… She has to accept the fact and face reality that today….on a day that started out ordinarily inside her very own home at 10:20 PM, life as she knew it just ended quite tragically…

Rachel felt as if someone just threw a bucket of cold water over her… the coffecup she was holding on to shattering on her perfectly gleaming marble floor as she automatically sat on her haunches to pick up the ceramics broken pieces… She sat with her head bowed down, her mind in a daze as she focused all of her attention on the mess before her… Not because she had some burning desire to clean it but rather because she knows she'd just break down if she starts thinking of anything else…

Rachel went about her chore with a frenzy… She wish she can do the same to her heart… to pick up the pieces like what she's doing to the broken cup and to throw it some where far away… Somehow she wish that she can just forget this moment and this instant when she feels as if everything she holds dear is slipping far away from her… What she would not give so that tomorrow when she wakes up, she'd have Finn lying down beside her… his fingers gently tracing her face as he stared at her lovingly… the same gesture that she woke up to right after the day they took their relationship a step further from being friends to lovers and the many more mornings that followed after that in the course of their eight year relationship…

"You're bleeding…"

Rachel lifted her head up as if in a trance to see Finn standing in front of her… His brow furrowed into a look of concern as he stood in front of her, rocking on the balls of his feet and fidgeting awkwardly…

Rachel looked down at her hands and was surprised to see that she was clutching onto a jagged piece of broken glass in her right hand…

When did that happen? She was not even aware of the pain… the empty feeling that she has in her heart seem to be obliterating anything physical that she might be feeling right now…

Rachel inhaled sharply when she saw Finn about to sit down in front of her… his hand already reaching out to touch her injured one as Rachel swiftly stood up to back away from him…

She shook her head as she put up her normal hand like a barrier between them…

Finn follows her with sad eyes, looking as if he was about to cry at any given moment… out of guilt or pity she wouldn't know…

Rachel caught a glimpse of herself in the stainless steel wall of her kitchen and there was a panicked and crazed look in her eyes that she's never seen before…

"Don't…"

She shakes her head wildly at him… Finn looks at her pleadingly as if trying to beg her with his eyes to understand him…

"Just don't… d-d-don't come near me… I can't take your kindness right now… Please Finn…"

And with the lump in her throat getting harder to swallow, Rachel walks straight out of her door without another word, leaving Finn slumped dejectedly on her kitchen floor. looking at her departing back…

The ride inside her apartment elevator was a blur… She knew that she probably smiled at a neighbor and made small talk but her soul feels as if it has left her body that she wouldn't even know if that scene was real or imagined from the past…

As she walked out of her apartment building, Rachel heard the whoosh of the cold winter winds rather than felt the stinging chill burning her cheek …She was dressed in a thin, gauzy blouse and her denim miniskirt… her feet still clad in house slippers while people whom she passed by, walked past her bundled up in their thick winter coats in the –12 degree temperature… People whom despite their thickly covered faces still do a double take as she passed them to watch her wandering about in her outfit that seem to be courting death in the cold December weather like she had gone completely insane…

Well maybe she is … turning crazy that is…

A life without Finn… she can't even imagine where to begin… all their lives they have always been together… from being Glee co-captains, to best friends to lovers… It worked out perfectly like a dream… a dream that Rachel had held on to ever since she met him, driving her to plot out her future centered around a lifetime of becoming Mrs. Finn Hudson… But what does she do? How will she start all over again? The thought is not even imaginable that Rachel felt her knees buckle…

"Are you alright?"

She felt a hand steadying her… a tall strangers hand on her shoulder as she almost bumped into him just as he was about to enter the door of his car that a valet just opened for him… Out of surprise or pity, she wouldn't know… she felt him slightly squeezing her shoulder…

Rachel gave a soft nod as she looked at the slightly familiar face… a face whom at any other time she would have described as ridiculously good looking but which at that moment didn't even register in her brain…

Rachel shrugs off his hand and continues walking as if in a trance… the stranger following her with his gaze as she walked away from him as if he found the whole interaction weird before he gave a shake of his head and entered his car ending the moment…

Rachel walked for what seemed like miles that night… Her feet shuffling along the cold New York pavement without direction as her mind replayed the scene in her living room just hours ago over and over in her head… Is this really it? The end for what she had imagined to be her love of a lifetime? Are Finn and her really finished? Over? Kaput? How she wished she could cry out loud and drown in her misery but no matter how hard she tried tears just can't seem to come to her eyes… All she felt was the deep, gaping hole and endless void in her chest just right in the place where her heart used to be…

After what felt like days but which actually were only hours, Rachel found herself back in her living room… She turned on the lights and as they flickered on the room was bathed in a warm, yellow glow…

Rachel swept her eyes over her apartment… Every single nook and cranny gave off a feeling of perfection… The room could be photographed at this very moment for a spread in Town and Country and no doubt it would be described as modern, zen inspired and glamorous… However, the person who could only complete the picture to make her life flawless had long gone… it was as if he wasn't even there tonight in the first place…

With heavy footsteps, Rachel shuffled her foot towards her kitchen…

This is just a setback and tomorrow she's sure that whatever the problem is Finn and her can work it out… For now, she'd make herself a nice, hot cup of chocolate and go to bed and tomorrow things would probably look up…

Rachel opened her cupboard and took out her coffee cup leaving it ajar in the process…

She then walked around towards another corner of the kitchen to put the kettle on her stove but as she walked back zombielike towards where she came from, a loud thud woke her up from her stupor as blinding pain hit her having bumped her forehead into the open cabinet door…

"AWWWWWW!"

Rachel felt tears stinging her eyes…The tears which wouldn't come awhile back, now came rushing out of her as if in a flood… She wept like she had never wept her entire life… like her heart was being ripped right out of her chest… like life had just ended and she didn't know where to start all over… like she had just lost the person whom she'd ever loved all her life, which was really the case…

And as the night progressed, Rachel cried as if she wouldn't stop… She cried all of the tears that she had never shed because at that moment, right then and there…Rachel promised herself that that was the last time she'd ever cry because at whatever cost, she'd get Finn Hudson back… Yes she would get him back and he will love her again, she'd make damned sure of that…


	3. Get Back

**GETBACK –DEMI LOVATO**

Don't walk away like you always do,  
This time,  
Baby you're the only thing that's been,  
On my mind. 

Ever since you left I've been a mess,  
(You won't answer your phone)  
I'll say it once,  
And I'll leave you alone,  
But I gotta let you know

I wanna get back, to the old days,  
When the phone would ring,  
And I knew it was you.  
I wanna talk back,  
And get yelled at  
Fight for nothing, like we used to  
Oh hold me, like you mean it,  
Like you miss me,  
Cause I know that you do  
I wanna get back,  
Get back,  
With you  
(Yyyyeah…)

Don't look at me that way,  
I see it in your eyes…  
Don't worry about me,  
I've been fine, 

I'm not gonna lie I've been a mess,  
Since you left,  
And every time I see you,  
It gets more and more intense

I wanna get back, to the old days,  
When the phone would ring,  
And I knew it was you  
I wanna talk back,  
And get yelled at  
Fight for nothing, like we used to  
Oh hold me, like you mean it,  
Like you miss me,  
Cause I know that you do  
I wanna get back,  
Get back,  
With you

You were the only one I wanted  
And you were the first one I fell for,  
You're the only one that I'm in need of,  
And I don't want to be lonely anymore

I wanna get back, to the old days,  
When the phone would ring,  
And I knew it was you.  
I wanna talk back,  
And get yelled at  
Fight for nothing, like we used to 

Oh hold me, like you mean it,  
Like you miss me,  
Cause I know that you do. 

I wanna get back,  
Get back,  
With you

(Get back)  
Get back  
(Get back)  
Get back  
(Get back)  
Get back  
(Get back)  
Get back

Oh hold me, like you mean it,  
Like you miss me,  
Cause I know that you do, 

I wanna get back,  
Get back,  
I wanna get back,  
Get back,  
I wanna get back,  
Get back,  
Get back, yeah, yeah, yeah

CHAPTER ONE

**GETBACK**

Rachel flicked one last look at herself in the rearview mirror of her silver Mercedes Benz SLK and gave a nod of satisfaction at what she saw…

Hair perfectly coiffed and styled - check

The latest DVF Peacoat in red which hugged her curves perfectly and make her brown highlights stand out even more - check

Huge movie star sunglasses perfectly framing her heart shaped face – check

Skinny jeans tucked inside her brand new black mid calf leather Gucci boots which she bought specifically for it's heels that add four more inches or so to her otherwise petite frame – check, check and check

She looked every inch the accomplished actress… gorgeous, successful, confident… attributes which totally belied the feelings she's holding in her heart because deep inside her, she is a nervous wreck…

She can't believe that two months had passed… two long months when she walked out on Finn in her own apartment and she's never heard from him again…

There was no real closure as to why their relationship ended except for his last words that he's found someone else…

Words that would come back to haunt Rachel in the days after that night because as if the torture of their break up was not enough, the media seem to have ganged up on her by plastering Finn's happy face along with that relationship wreckers perfectly smiling one in every showbiz program possible and in every tabloid that ever lined the sidewalk…

And since it is not only the media but also the fates that seem to be conniving to depress the life out of her… Every mention of the hookup of her errant exboyfriend with that trollop must at least also be accompanied by a note or a quote mentioning how miserable Finn's long time girlfriend and now ex, aka HER, must be feeling after being dumped as if she was just an afterthought…

Of course the embarassment won't be complete if they don't accompany that piece of information with that paparazzi picture taken of her with Finn at seventeen when she considered animal prints to to be all the rage and she was foolish enough to wear it on her sweater and pair it with argyle socks as if she was straight out of the Brady Bunch…

In those photos, the wind was blowing her hair all over the place which caused her to have a stupid expression on her face like she's suffering from Bells Palsy… She was frantically holding on to her short skirt to avoid flashing everyone while b beside her Finn looked… Well… PERFECTLY PERFECT…

There was a somber expression on his face as he waited for her…looking every bit the jock in his letterman jacket and a football in his hand which only served to highlight how he's such a contrast to her geeky appearance…

Just imagining it now still makes her cringe…

All these while news anchors, entertainment hosts and other know-it-alls mouth off meaningless words of sympathy complete with a look of pity on their face when they close their spiels as if she had just turned into a crazy, old recluse with a 100 cats just because Finn left her for another girl…

What a way to know whom Finn left her for… Through a national celebrities mouth, along with the other 4 Million or so Americans watching the same entertainment shows as her…

So it is her… Quinn Fabray… Maxim covergirl, NFL cheerleader, aspiring singer…

She should have known…

The moment she met that vixen she already had an unsettling feeling that she should be wary of her… There's something about the way Finn looked at her that should have sent warning bells clanging in her head and yet she naively trusted her when she said that she'd take care of "Finnie" and that it would be all professional as they worked on the same football league together…

Finnie my ass… Where's the professional spiel now? If she only knew that when Quinn said professional, she meant the "sexual harassment" kind, she wouldn't even have let her near him…

Rachel sighed as she recalled how these two months somehow felt like two years…

The first few weeks after Finn called it quits was the hardest… She spent days curled up in bed, unmoving as she cried her eyes out until they were mere slits on her face…Her friends told her that the pain would subside but the more the days pass by, the more she thought how bleak her future looks without Finn…

The break up left her life a chaotic mess… Her house which had looked impeccable ever since she got it, looked as if a tornado just left and the devastation was strewn all over the place… She had swore off on sweets for the longest time and yet there was an intense void inside her that seemed as if only ice cream can fill… She hates being dirty and yet she didn't bathe for days on end… In short, the perfection that used to be her life seemed to have also taken for the worst right after their separation…

And who can blame her? Ever since she was young, she'd been dreaming of her knight in shining armor, her charming prince… her everlasting love… The moment she laid eyes on Finn at the tender age of six, she knew that she had found the person who'd just fill in that part… He was quiet, good looking and he just looked soooo… well… LONELY…

There was a hurt in his eyes that seem to be beyond his years and Rachel was curious to know what could be behind it…

When she learned about how he was orphaned at a pretty young age and how he has no friends, Rachel felt even more sorry for him…

From that moment on, she had become Finn's ally… his only friend… which thinking about it now seems so laughable since they were on such opposite ends when it comes to their personalities… Rachel is gregarious and bubbly and optimistic while Finn is quiet, reserved and pragmatic… But that didn't stop Rachel from trying her best to draw Finn out of his shell and the more she sees him becoming more and more sociable, the more responsible she felt for his happiness…

She had made it her lifelong mission to make him feel accepted and loved and to let him forget those feelings of sadness left over by his parents early death and now that he's gone, she just doesn't know what to do with her life especially since in her plan, they should be getting married already two years from the present…

How she wished that someone would do the same for her as she's done to Finn so she won't feel so lonely right now

Thank God for her best friend Kurt for bringing some semblance of normalcy in her life … It is because of him that she was still able to make her rehearsals and to attend all of her shows despite her current state of mind…

Out of all the things that she had felt over this break up, nothing else took precedence over the fear she felt of not being able to sing or act on stage again… It was as if when Finn left her, all motivation ceased to exist in her life too… But the more she wallowed in self pity, the stronger her resolve became that she would not take things sitting down… She is Rachel Berry after all and it is about time that she takes her life back in control…

And so just a week ago, Rachel finally stood up from her bed and started getting hold of her life… She planned and wrote in her journal night and day like a madwoman until she had listed down all of the things that she's changing for his sake… She had her house cleaned and redecorated once again until it looked picture perfect… She revamped her wardrobe and had a makeover and if before people used to describe her as being cute or pretty, Looking at her now, the words glamorous, chic and sophisticated can be now more heavily associated to her…

She is through with crying and it's now time for her to start taking action… to regain what was hers and to make Finn realize what he had lost so that he'd come crawling back to her …

And when he does? Well, she'd make him suffer a little before she'd take him back again just so he'd learn his lesson… After that, She would do everything in her power to make him realize that no one else can be as perfect together as they are and if only she can do that, Rachel's life would be as picture perfect as the way she imagined it to be…

"You can do this Rachel... Yes you can!"

With a pump of her fist and a determined expression on her face, Rachel threw her keys at the waiting valet nonchalantly and swung her legs to get out of her car to enter the lobby of the hotel where Finn was at to sign a new contract for the athletic wear he's currently endorsing…

This is the culmination of her days of planning… of finding that perfect moment when she would "accidentally" bump into Finn again so that he would reminded of her existence and so that she could show him what he's been missing…

As she walked forward on the hotel's marble lobby, her heels clicking agains the smooth floor, Rachel was filled with scenarios of how Finn would react once he sees her…

A wide grin spread across her face as she ticked off Finn's possible reactions once he gets to take a good look at her…

Rachel's smile grew even wider as she played off all of those imagined storylines in her head…. Would she see a tearful Finn? A regretful Finn? A Finn on his knees begging for her to take him back? or a Finn that was just filled with so much desire for her that he'd just rush up to her and kiss her lustfully right in front of all to see?

OH. MY. GOSH.

Rachel gave out a giddy snicker against her bidding… her hands flying to her cheek that had now turned red at the direction her thoughts are taking…

"Rachel Berry, you're really some kind of perv!"

Rachel gave her cheeks a couple of slaps for good measure just when an elderly man passes by and gives a grunt of disapproval over her whimsical behavior… Rachel clears her throat and straightens herself up, giving a slight wave to the elder who only turned to give another grunt before turning his nose up even higher at her…

Rachel bowed her head in embarassment and the moment she turned a corner she continued talking to herself…

"Dammit! Are you crazy? What are you doing parading around in pub…"

Rachel's voice trailed off as she stopped in her tracks… Her mouth agape and her heart beating fast as reality finally sank in on her that what she set out to do was no laughing matter…

Right before her in the flesh was Finn… Breathing the same air as her… within touching distance…and he was still as drop dead gorgeous as ever…

He was currently engaged in conversation with his agent as of the moment and she's sure that he hasn't seen her… He brushed back his hair that was falling softly forward against his forehead impatiently… There was a furrow of concentration on his brow that tells her that whatever he might be sharing to the rest of his team requires his outmost attention and that he's focusing hard on it… He had his pink full lips puckered in a semi frown as he gets lost deep in thought…

Rachel gave a wan smile as she thought of how well she knew him that every little nuance he does, every single word he utters, every sigh, every gesture… she knows what he totally means even without asking…

Is this the right time to do this? Does she seriously think that Finn would be happy to see her even without warning?

Rachel's confidence wavers and there was suddenly a deep desire inside her to turn right back and return where she came from… However, even before it can happen, Finn lifted his head to look directly at the corner where she's hiding from… His face registering surprise first then intense pleasure… he lifted his hand in a wave just as a flirtatious smile spread across his face making Rachel's heart slam even harder in her chest but now for an altogether different reason… It was all she could do not to jump for joy from where she was standing…

There was no use thinking about those useless thoughts she had a while ago… HE DID MISS HER!

Rachel tentatively raised her hand to wave back… her heart flying with joy at his welcoming reaction… However even before she can get her arms fully straightened up… Rachel felt a jarring pain rock through her shoulder as somebody bumped hard into her…

"Sorry…"

Rachel had a vision of beautiful hair and glowing skin as she is enveloped in the offenders alluring scent… The girl barely sparing her a glance as Rachel dropped to the floor to pick up the contents of her bag where it all scattered because of the impact of their collision…

There was no sincerity to the way the girl mouthed off the apology… Like she's saying the words not because she meant it but rather as a formality as she hastily walk forward towards where Finn was at as if she can't wait to see him…

Rachel's face was contorted into a look of pain… her left hand gingerly massaging her injured shoulder as she followed the girl with her stare while straightening up..

Rachel looked at her curiously and then gasped out loud as she realized who the girl was… It was none other than that snake, Quinn Fabray!

The same Quinn who had bumped into her like she's a piece of luggage and who is now sauntering gracefully into Finn's waiting open arms as he hooked his arm around her waist to give her a soft peck on her lips tenderly…

The Quinn Fabray whom Finn was waving at from her back just a few seconds ago when she thought it was actually her whom he's so excited about seeing…

Rachel felt the blood rushing into her head…

So this is what it feels like when murderers say that they lost control of themselves.

She is absolutely fuming with anger that it was all she could do not to bare her claws and scratch that smile off both of Finn and Quinn's rapt faces…

Rachel felt her world spinning and even before she can stop herself, she was already making a scene for all to see…

"FUCK YOU, You two faced slut! How dare you take what was mine you cheapo starlet disguised as a model and now you even dare to push me aside! YAAAAAAAAAAAAA!"

And Rachel runs forward like a woman gone berserk to jerk Quinn out of Finn's arms as she pulls her hair while Finn looked on in shock…

NOT!

That was what she would have wanted to do but in reality, Rachel stood like a loser in a corner watching the two as she tore at a tree leaf with her teeth gritted… All the while murmuring expletives under her breath while pretending that it was Quinn and Finn's hair she was tearing apart and not the hotel decoration that stood defenseless beside her…

"WHAT THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING? You are damaging the hotels property!"

Rachel jerked in response to the shouts coming from behind her…The hotel manager was pointing his finger at her…an exasperated look on his face as his gaze remained transfixed on the part of the floor where Rachel was standing… Pieces of leaves were strewn all over the place and Rachel gasped in surprise when she realized that the tree she was picking on was now almost half bald…

"Old lady, you're in big trouble now…" shouted a little boy of about five who was sucking on a lollipop, standing beside Rachel…

Rachel's panicked look flew towards where Finn was at as she shushed the little rascal…

"SHHHHHH…'

But it was too late… Finn's attention was now on her… a look of confusion on his face as Rachel averted her face hoping against hope that he wouldn't recognize her…

"Rachel?"

Finn said tentatively…Rachel slowly backing away from him… She wanted to see him in her moment of glory… not when she is being chased by a hotel employee for vandalism and when she was crouching in a corner hiding as if she was some sort of stalker…

From the corner of her eye, Rachel saw Finn whisper something to Quinn and Quinn look at her curiously before giving Finn a slow nod…

Shit. This could not go any better.

A moment after, Finn was already walking with quick steps moving towards her…

"Rachel… is that you?"

Dammit… this is not the way she planned it… In her imagination Finn had a remorseful look full of tender love on his face as he chased after her… not this one full of pity as if she had suddenly lost all of her sanity that she now goes around stalking him in places where he just might be…

Rachel half walked and half ran as Finn chased after her… all the while shouting her name and telling her to stop…

Dammit… she has to get away from him… Abandon mission! Abandon mission!

She wants them to meet at a time when she has the advantage and one where she can look beautifully compassionate while forgiving him and definitely not when a five year old snot faced kid is pointing his finger at her and laughingly telling the hotel security that the pld lady ran that way…

Fuck! Why is it that ever since that miserable night it was as if Finn took her mojo along with him… Nothing goes according to how she plan it… there will be some other day… a day when Quinn is not there to gloat at her misery and a time when she can look at Finn confidently and be sure that he wouldn't look at her as if he wants a judge to issue a restraining order to keep her 500 meters away from him…

Damn… damn…damn… she should have planned this "accidental" meeting better because right now, she just wishes that the earth would open up and swallow her whole…

As she walked towards the hotel entrance, Rachel turned her head to look at Finn who was now almost at arms length away from her…

Geez… there's not even enough time for her to give her ticket to the valet and for him to return her car to her… DAMMIT… what is she going to do? He's almost near her and she can't have him looking at her with exasperated eyes while telling her in that soft, gentle voice to "stop doing this to herself"…

"Rachel, WAIT!"

With quick footsteps and a soft cry ... Rachel threw herself out of the hotel door to enter the first waiting taxicab that was idling by the hotels doorway


	4. Everything about You

**EVERYTHING ABOUT YOU-UGLY KID JOE**

_I, hate the rain and sunny weather,_

_I, , I hate the beach and mountains too bu hu__  
__And I don't like a thing about the city, no, no__  
__And I, I, I, hate the countryside too!__  
__  
__And I, hate everything about you!__  
__... everything about you!___

_And I, don't like a thing about your mother,__  
__And I, I hate your daddys guts too bu hu__  
__And I, don't like a thing about your sister, no, no__  
__Cause I, I, I, think sex is overrated too.___

_And I, get sick when I'm around, I, can't stand to be around,__  
__I, hate everything about you!__  
__Everything about you,__  
__Everything about you,__  
__Everything about you!___

_Some say I got a bad attitude,__  
__But that don't change the way I feel about you,__  
__And if you think this thought might bring me down,__  
__Look again cause I aint wearin no frown!___

_I don't really care about your sister__  
__Forget the little bitch cause I already kissed her___

_One thing that I did to your lady__  
__I put her on the bed and she didn't even say maybe__  
__I know you know everybody knows__  
__The way it comes, the way it's gonna go__  
__You think it's sad,__  
__And that's too bad,__  
__Cause I'm havin__  
__A ball hatin__  
__Every little thing about you!___

_Everything about you, everything about...__  
__I, get sick when I'm around...__  
__I, can't stand to be around...__  
__I, hate everything about... you! Haha..._

**CHAPTER TWO **

**EVERYTHING ABOUT YOU**

Noah Puckerman gave a mirthless chuckle and a slow shake of his head as he sat inside his BMW X3 with the engine idling…

He tapped his fingers nonchalantly against the cars steering wheel as if waiting for someone…Seemingly unmindful of all the girls passing by who are looking at him through the cars untinted windows with mouths agape, some even trying to contain their squeals as if they have just seen Brad Pitt in the flesh while personally he couldn't even care less…

It's not that he's being arrogant or cocky but maybe it's because he's just been so used to girls falling at his feet all his life that he can take such dramatic reactions as if they are normal, everyday occurences in any mortal mans life…

And who could blame them? With his tall frame that is perfectly muscled and toned in all the right places, his high patrician nose that is framed by perfectly high cheekbones as if they're chiseled to perfection, those deep brown mesmerizing eyes that seem to always stare intensely when looking at someone and his full lips which he has a habit of biting or licking when he's deep in thought which makes him appear even sexier than he already is…

Noah Puckerman is every girls dream boy come to life…

Except a dream he is not…

Being the son of one of the richest Broadway family since time immemorial… the family of Noah's mother is well respected not just for their wealth but mostly because of their background…

Having grown up in an environment where everything is handed to him on a golden plate and where people bow down to his every whim not because of sincerity but mostly because of what they could get in exchange for that kindness… Noah grew up a realist who's always had a cynical and disbelieving attitude whenever it comes to emotional overtures or feelings… He's not the type to wallow in misery after a break up or one to take a relationship seriously… to him, people come and go… and when they go, they almost always never look back so there's no use wishing them back to see what could be…

That way of thinking is only for naïve, unthinking fools to ponder over… He's learnt his lesson well… Ever since he begged his father to not leave him with his controlling mother at seven, he promised himself that that is the last time he'd put so much of his heart into someone… He had already cried himself out of tears and he has proven that no matter how much one plead for somebody to love him back, there's no use if that person is just not willing… so why bother?

That incident really made an impact on his young life because growing up and as he's had his share of women, always at the end of the road, they ask him the same thing…

"Can you just let me go like that? Like I was nothing?"

As if they are gauging what their worth is to him and Noah can only shrug because that's what they really mean to him… A diversion, a dalliance… Someone to pass away time with and to relieve his manly desires on whenever the need arise…

To him love is an emotion that is frivolous…It is a feeling that is unknown and unchartered and he's always been straight up about that.. if there is any semblance of a feeling closest to it that he has ever felt for a woman in his entire life… then he'd say that it might be the closest to what he has felt for Quinn…

Which explains why two years after they have broken up they remain to be the best of friends and which also explains why he was sitting here inside his car with his machine idling, looking at the hotel lobby where he just dropped her off to meet her new boyfriend, wondering since when he had ever became a chauffeur for any of his other conquests…

It's not as if he loves her… or does he?

Unlike other women who use all their wiles to seduce him, Quinn was different from the very start..She is a girl without pretentions… She is ambitious and driven and she wears that characteristic proudly like a badge and to hell with anyone who would think badly about her just because of it…

The first time they met, he was surprised at how straightforward she can be more than how pretty she looked in person… It was as if he met a kindred spirit… a girl who understands the way his mind works because she is the same way… someone intellectual rather than emotional… someone who would not use her feelings to be calculating but who would rely on her brains to decide what's best for her…

A person who puts herself as a priority and makes no secret about it…

"Ahhh… so you're the Noah Puckerman whom everyone is talking about…"

She looked at him mischievously… her bedimpled smile playing about her lips as if she knows a secret that she doesn't want to share with him… like she's playing a prank…

"Now I understand… it's lethal enough that you're rich but to be this goodlooking?

She looked him up and down as if she was reading through him… She was dressed in her cheerleader outfit as she leaned against his locker after football practice in the private school that they both attend called McKinley and yet there was no embarassment on her face about being caught in the room as his other teammates stand beside him hollering while grabbing at their towels…

Noah blinked at her in confusion… Is she coming on to him? Seriously? She sure doesn't seem to know the trouble she's getting herself into… No one talks to Puck unless he initiates the conversation…

Aside from that, not many girls dare to just come up to him and talk to him as if he was familiar… Most of the time they are mostly intimidated… Noah is well known for having a short temper and for being cutting and sarcastic especially to people who try to get too close to him too soon… And yet this girl is talking to him as if they've known each other all their lives but what's even more surprising was the fact that she doesn't irritate him one bit… In fact he feels intrigued by her… Noah didn't know what to make of the situation…

"Cat got your tongue? You don't want to talk to me? Are you about to tell me to shut up and leave you alone or something?"

She looked at him with eyebrows raised… a slight challenge in her voice as she squared off against him… Just as Noah had just gathered his wits about him and just when he was just about ready to come up with an answer that would put her in her place… Quinn gives an empathic nod and makes a face…

"Alright… it's not as if you're my type… I just came here to give you your phone because you dropped it in the field during practice…"

And with a toss of her hair, she bounces off, never looking at him again…Noah was perplexed… He always has the last word… why can't he not say anything?

From that moment on, Quinn never threw him back a second glance… They saw each other in the hallway numerous times… but to her, it was as if he does not exist…The more elusive she becomes, the more drawn Noah is to her… He watches her from the corner of his eyes and though he knows that she knows of the fact, she does not let on in on it…

And so on the last day of school Noah made a bet with his teammates… He would get into her pants no matter what it takes just to let her know that he's got the upper hand and that whatever Noah Puckerman wants he normally gets…

The next thing he knew, she was slapping him in front of everyone like a gangster… her chest heaving with barely concealed anger as he rubbed at the red mark on his cheek as everyone turned to stop and stare…

"Listen… just because I'm a cheerleader it doesn't necessarily mean I'm a bimbo… You can't make bets on me and how you'd get it on with me because I am not a whore and I am definitely not some sleazy streetwalker… If you're so used to having girls who like you throw themselves at you then I'm different… I may like you the same way and think you're damn hot but…"

As he listened to her, Noah can't help himself from smiling widely… A girl who doesn't play coy or hard to get… someone straight up and who gives it to him the way that he wants to hear it… No hidden agendas… no playing games…

"I think I like you too…"

Quinn stops midsentence and blinks a couple of times at Noah… she was expecting him to say something that would make her feel totally like crap but this, she was definitely not expecting and that… was the beginning of everything…

To Noah what he had with Quinn went way beyond a normal boyfriend and girlfriend relationship… Some might find it weird but in fact, it transcended even that stage… Finding a girl like Quinn with thesame mindset that he has on relationships was truly rare and extraordinary and because of that he had learnt to care about her a little bit more deeply which makes her quite special from the rest…

Rather than mad, passionate love they had a solid, mutual respect for each other… like they were soulmates or the best of friends…

When they're together, they can be themselves rather than the popular figure that people always expect them to be… They shared their dreams and aspirations as well as the heartaches they've gone through and they supported each other through a journey that they were previously battling alone, but discovered that together, the road going there seemed to be less lonely…

There were no expectations, no commitments, no strings attached and though some people might not understand it, for both of them it was a set up exactly like that they were dreaming of… …

They broke up based on a mutual decision… Noah to go to LA to finish his internship at one of their studios and Quinn to concentrate on her modeling career… There was no use pretending that they can make it work long distance… After all, they both knew that there's no use making promises to each other since they might both be not able to keep it… What they were able to keep though was their close bond of friendship even if they are only able to get in touch with each other intermittently and far between… and when Noah came back to New York, it was as if he never left…

So imagine his surprise when Quinn suddenly calls him with the news just two months ago that she had fallen in love… A predicament that Noah can't even imagine Quinn getting herself into that he can't help but laugh…

Quinn in love? Yeah right… that feeling was so foreign to her that she even gives a shudder whenever people describe them before as such…But lately, Noah is starting to change his mind… he's seeing subtle changes in her that he had never seen while they were together… she seems to be less driven… more mellow… and Noah is more than a little bit alarmed because this is definitely not the Quinn that he knows so much about…

It's not so much that he's sad about that fact, but rather just a little bit regretful that things didn't work out between them like they planned… That she seems to be moving on unto a different direction than him and that once again, he will be alone and lonely rather than with a partner who would support and help him achieve what he wants… minus the complications…

Which brings him back to the fact that he's now playing chauffeur for her…

Right… if this is what it takes to make her see that friendship is more dependable than love then he'd make her see it…

At least, he's available to drive her around unlike her new boyfriend whom he had not even meet but whom he think is already quite unreliable because he can't even do this much for her…

Noah jerked out of his seat as his reverie was cut short by a figure hurtling itself towards his cars backseat… The stranger was panting like a woman possessed as she shouted at him at the top of her lungs while looking frantically at somebody chasing her from the rear window of his car…

"WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR… STEP ON IT! FASTTTTTTTTT!"

What the hell? Is this some sort of a scam? Is he being kidnapped? By a girl who seem to only reach his shoulders at most standing up?

Noah twisted his head to get a good look at her … She seems to be dressed too prettily for her to be crazy…her face heavily made up as if she's going to star in a movie or something…

However, who else would ride in someone else's car as if she owns it and like she's being chased by the hounds of hell before asking whoever is driving to step on it?

She does not look like she is really a moviestar about to shoot a film, which only leaves him with the other option…Uh-huh… definitely loony…

"LOOK LADY, WHAT THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU'RE -"

Noah's tirade was cut short as the wacko pushed his face forcefully forward to face the front windows…

"Are you freakin deaf? Didn't I tell you to step on it? Let's get out of here… "

And as Rachel looked backward and saw Finn almost nearing the vehicles window, she was enveloped by a panic unlike any she's ever felt before that she was thrown into a frenzy…

"CMON… WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR?"

Rachel looked at the driver looking at her in shock and since screaming like a banshee in his ear seem to still not be enough to get him to move, she repeatedly kicked the back of his seat for good measure…

"MOVEEEE... NOWWWWWWW…"

Noah had no other option but to shush her as if he was chasing away flies… in between defensive shouts, he begrudgingly faces forward and starts driving since the crazy lady left him with no other choice…

"Okayyyyyy...! I'm driving... DRIVING!"

Geez! Just his luck! He should have listened to Mike and Sam when they told him that acting unlike his normal self is not the best way to show Quinn what sort of friend she's missing when she chose to fall in love…

Should he have listened to them and gained equal footing by pretending that he could be quite … ugh… romantic too?

Noah shook himself out of his musing to get a good look from his rearview mirror at the unwanted passenger who was still looking backwards at his cars rear window while seated in the backseat…

Aside from the initial panic that he's felt over her unwarranted entrance into his car, he now feels a sense of curiosity over who this person is…

Is she a criminal running away from authorities? Should he drive straight to a police station and turn her over? maybe, she's one of those hookers who drug their customers and dupe them out of their money… well… she did come from a hotel, dressed to the nines… so….

Noah watched as the girl finally turned forward and breathed a sigh of relief… She gave a small chuckle then closed her eyes as she leaned her head against the headrest… Her previously ragged breahing now coming out evenly as if a peaceful calm just seem to suddenly descend itself upon her…

She looks familiar… has he seen her before? In one of those clubs he frequents with Mike and Sam? He didn't realize it the first time he saw her but yeah, she is pretty… with her clear, flawless skin and big brown eyes situated above pink cherublike lips… she was sexy and exotic but exotic is not exactly his type…

He cleared his throat as he turned a corner sharply but she seems unperturbed… Noah tried it a second time but she remains unresponsive… Is she asleep? Dead?

"So where do you want to go or do you just want me to just go on driving?"

"Broadway please… "

Her voice is now polite… musical almost… A far cry from the shrill, grating screams that she had just let out a few minutes ago…

Against his will, Noah chuckled at what a contrast of personalities she is… She can be feisty and yet she can also be meek when the occasion calls for it…

Interesting…definitely interesting…

She must have gotten a lot of customers that way… Too bad he just swore to his mother how he would not be caught in another scandalous situation again since the last time had such an adverse effect on their companys stocks…

Rachel opened her eyes as she heard the chuckles coming from the front seat… Is he by any chance laughing… at her? How dare him judge her when he does not even know what she's just been through… He does not even know her for heavens sake… Cab drivers are supposed to be polite and customer oriented and…

WAIT… Rachel looked around and it suddenly sank in on her that she was not in a taxicab… she was seated against the plush leather interiors of a luxury car and she now realized the danger that she is in being driven about by this stranger…

"WAITTTTT… this - this is not a cab!"

Noah gave a shake of his head and a scoff before replying back…

"BRAVO! Fancy you noticing that? And who told you it is? Isn't it obvious?"

Rachel didn't know if it was the embarassment of the whole thing that happened to her that afternoon or the demeaning way that he seemed to be looking down on her, but all of her frustrations seemed to have reached the boiling point and she had no other choice but to direct it at him… she knew that she made a mistake by just jumping into the first car she saw without thinking about it, but seeing how distressed she is, couldn't he have just perhaps done the gentlemanly thing and just looked the other way and let it pass?

Besides - besides… it's not her fault that he doesn't lock his doors… HA!

"THEN WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING PARKED IN THAT DRIVEWAY LIKE A RETARD?"

Noah couldn't believe his ears… Now he's the retard? He's already got his fair share of abuse for today… please, not from another female…

"Why? Is there a law that says that I can't park wherever I want to park?'

Rachel gave an exasperated sigh… Great… not only is he arrogant, he is also stupid…

"Everybody in their right mind knows enough that that spot is reserved for a taxi line… if you're going to wait for your boss to come out you should have parked first and waited for his call in the drivers lounge just like everyone else…"

Noah snapped his gaze towards the rearview mirror to look if this girl was joking… Drivers Lounge? Him? Does he look as if he is anyones driver?

"Dri—Driver? DO YOU EVEN KNOW WHO I AM?"

Rachel clenched her fists… There's just something about the tone of his voice and the condescending way that he raised his eyebrow at her in that rearview mirror that just made her want to smack him…

"Besides, isn't it you that barged into my car without permission? Lady, you might have tricked a lot of people playing the innocent card, but seriously, it's not working on me… I could take you a police station right here and now but I just don't have the time…"

Rachel started counting under her breath… Just one more line from this douchebag and she is already a thin line away from committing murder…

"Stop the car…"

She said in a whisper in between gritted teeth…

"Pardon?"

He cocked his ear towards her … She's sure she made herself perfectly clear the first time but he's doing it out of a perverse sense of humor of wanting to humiliate her…

"I SAID STOP THE CAR!"

Noah pressed on the brakes so hard that it almost threw Rachel through the window…

"Sorr-rrryyy…"

He uttered the word in such a singsongy voice that it left her without any doubt that he said it not to appease her but to taunt her even further…

"You don't even have to say it hot stuff… I would have really stopped the car since it seems like we have reached your destination…"

Noah's voice was exaggeratedly polite… He then let himself out of the car and made a grand gesture of opening the car door for Rachel just like a first class doorman would, complete with the sweeping of his hands for her to walk ahead and the 90 degree bow…

"What the -"

Rachel looked on in confusion at her sorroundings… What did he mean they've reached her destination? How does he even know where shes' going?

She was in Broadway but it was in a place unfamiliar to her…. Around her are girls clad skimpily in designer ware as they invite passers by to enter their clubs as some of them wave passing cars around while shouting out things that are making her blush…

Surely he doesn't think that she is - she is- Even the thought is not even worth imagining…

"Are you trying to imply that I am - that -"

"Aren't you?'

He let out the words as if he is so sure… like he doesn't even feel sorry for thinking that way of a lady…

Before she knew it Rachel lets out a loud slap as Noah stood in shock… His cheek already reddening bearing the imprint of her palm…

Rachel then turned on her heel to walk away from the bastard but she was still feeling so damned insulted that she had barely taken two steps that she turned back, opened her bag and got out a fistful of paper money before throwing it at his face…

Noah's eyes grew even wider at that outburst…

"That is for driving me here so that I don't owe you anything… and this - this is for judging and insulting me…"

Noah jerked his head, covering his face automatically afraid that Rachel would slap him again but he was wrong since she stepped her boots on his foot instead…

Noah gave out a yelp of pain and hopped around on one foot as Rachel gave a haughty toss of her head and gave him the same ninety degree bow that he had just given her moments ago…

"Thank you and Goodbye…"

She said formally as if they just passed each other on the street but then before turning , she sticks her tongue out at him before hailing a passing taxi and leaving quickly even before Noah can react…

"HEY! HEY!"

Noah shouted after her as he heard snickers coming from a group of teenagers watching them from the opposite street…

" YOU THINK THIS IS FUNNY? HUH? DO YOU WANT TO DIE?"

Noah raised his fist and advanced as the teenage boys averted their gazes and scampered away…

As Noah limped towards the car, he cursed his luck for the bad day that he has gone through today…

Good riddance! He thought to himself… He should have his car blessed so that he wouldn't have the rotten chance of running into a lunatic like her again…

And as Noah put his car in reverse… somebody should have told him not to get too ahead of himself because if he only knew what is to come…

**AUTHORS NOTE:**_** Please, please leave a note on the thread since i've only written this far and want to hear your thoughts about the story... I'd really appreciate it!**_


	5. Collide

**COLLIDE - HOWIE DAY**

_The dawn is breaking__  
__A light shining through__  
__You're barely waking__  
__And I'm tangled up in you, yeah_

_I'm open, you're closed__  
__Where I follow, you'll go__  
__I worry I won't see your face__  
__Light up again_

_Even the best fall down sometimes__  
__Even the wrong words seem to rhyme__  
__Out of the doubt that fills my mind__  
__I somehow find you and I collide_

_I'm quiet you know__  
__You make a first impression__  
__I've found I'm scared to know__  
__I'm always on your mind_

_Even the best fall down sometimes__  
__Even the stars refuse to shine__  
__Out of the back you fall in time__  
__I somehow find you and I collide_

_Don't stop here__  
__I lost my place__  
__I'm close behind_

_Even the best fall down sometimes__  
__Even the wrong words seem to rhyme__  
__Out of the doubt that fills your mind__  
__You finally find you and I collide_

_You finally find you and I collide__  
__You finally find you and I collide_

**CHAPTER THREE**

Rachel lifted her head from the script that she was reading… a half exasperated, half annoyed look on her face as she looked at Kurt leafing through a playbill while he sat on the edge of Rachel's dressing room table, his shoulders shaking, doubled over in laughter…

The spacious dressing room spoke volumes of Rachel's success in Broadway…

The room was bright with a lot of girly touches like the pink velour couch that Rachel has in the waiting area for example and the chandelier hanging about the ceiling…

On the cream covered walls, posters of musicals that she's starred in and pictures of celebrities that had visited her backstage are hanging from elaborate gold frames and as one looked around, there's no denying that it was HER world that it prompted even Finn once upon a time to jokingly say that it is enough to emasculate just about any man who'd dare to step foot inside it…

One would think that the owner of such a place would also be perfectly put together but on the contrary, Rachel has been at a loss for a couple of days now and she looks mostly harassed as she thought back on the events of the past couple of months.

Of course, it doesn't help that her bestest, best friend in the whole wide world whom she is counting on for support couldn't even seem to care less about that fact and is now just focused on catching his breath while making sure that he doesn't suffocate to death as he laughed like a hyena over his friend's misfortune…

"It's not that funny Kurt… REALLY…"

Rachel's voice was dripping with sarcasm which made Kurt immediately press his lips together to put on a serious expression only to burst out again in laughter…

"I'm sorry… I'm sorry Rach but that's just - precious!"

Kurt's voice was playful, he was gasping for air in between short bouts of laughter as he wiped tears of mirth away from his eyes…

Kurt swung his designer jean clad legs away from Rachel's table… He then jumps up to check his reflection in the nearby mirror before talking to Rachel from where he was standing…

"Hey, Rach… who'd have thought that a day would come when you would just jump into a strangers vehicle and worst be called a… hoochie?"

He half laughed and half snorted at the word before turning his head to address Rachel directly… a sparkle of mischief in his eye….

"That would be the day… for sure the bar owner would go bankrupt because they would all suffer the same fate of that driver you were talking about…"

Kurt's voice grew serious as he saw Rachel narrow her eyes at him…

He gave a big sigh before walking forward towards where Rachel was at, her head bowed down as she once again read through her script revisions for todays matinee show … Kurt puts his arm conspiratorially around Rachel's shoulder in an effort to try and ift her spirits as he playfully nudged her ..…

" See? What did I tell you? Just consider this a break away from Finn… A time away from each other… Wouldn't you say it's a good thing to experience all these things that would never have happened if you were still hanging around each other 24/7?"

"Like what? Like being mistaken for a whore?"

Rachel paused for a moment as if deep in thought before continuing sarcastically…

"Ah, yeah…. A lunatic whore…"

Kurt made a face at Rachel's serious demeanor and rolls his eyes in exasperation…

"Alright… I would not say anymore… I'm sure before I know it our topic will once again be back to the topic of how you and Finn will get back together again and how-"

"AND WE WILL! He's just… just… a little lost right now, that's all… "  
Rachel shouted adamantly like a petulant child… her voice going softer as she makes excuses for her errant exboyfriend that even to her own ears sounds hollow and meaningless…

"If you say so..."

Kurt nods sarcastically at Rachel as a moment of pregnant silence passed between the two of them…

"You do know that I just don't want you getting false hopes again right?"

Kurt breaks the silence… his back turned to her as he leafed once again through the playbill that he was previously reading that Rachel wasn't even sure if he really said something…

Rachel gave a deep sigh as she tried to control her emotions…

No matter how crazy Kurt might sometimes seem, it is at times like these that she realizes how lucky she is to have someone like him as her best friend…

"Oh… I almost forgot!"

Rachel's musings were cut short as Kurt's hyper cry rang throughout the room…

Curiously Rachel followed him with her gaze as he ran towards her drawer and started rummaging through a pile of envelopes that were on top of it… It took her a moment to find what he's looking for but before long, he was already holding up a red envelope excitedly high up in the air with a wide grin on his face as if he's found a golden treasure…

Kurt turned to look at Rachel… his eyes sparkling…

"Know what this is?'

Rachel gave a slow shake of her head… a wary look in her eyes as she tried to think what he is now up to…

Kurt ran excitedly towards Rachel and hugged her tightly…

"THIS is your golden ticket… you finally got a recognition for your Broadway contribution to the TOP HONOR AWARDS that the Puckermans will host this year… You've made it Rachel Berry!"

Rachel stood frozen for a couple of minutes… her mind trying to assimilate what Kurt had just told her…

A year ago, she would have DIED to be invited to that event…

The Top Honor awards ball is an annual fete' that was thrown for accomplished Broadway and Hollywood actors, singers, athletes, fashion designers and models to applaud their talent and to give them recognition…

Normally, people who are the power movers for each of the category will host an award for a talent whom they have personally picked..  
The Puckermans being one of the top Broadway and Hollywood producers in the country is in charge of theater and Film for this year and it is a known fact in their industry that being honored for this award is almost as good as bagging the next lead role for their next production that would be sure to bring Broadway actresses like herself into the mainstream...

A year ago, Rachel was obsessed about getting invited… she worked her butt off the previous year with only this end goal in mind and now that the moment is here and Finn is nowhere to be found, she just can't get excited…

"I'm not going…"

Kurt's jaw dropped in surprise… a look of shock on his face…

"Ex—excuse me? What are you talking about ? I just imagined that I heard you say that you're not going?"

"That's exactly what I said…"

Rachel turned around to start reading her script again as if that is the last of that conversation…

Kurt stood speechless in the sidelines. Opening and closing his mouth as if to say something…

"Out with it…"

Rachel mumbled from where she was sitting…

"Are you goddamn crazy? How can you throw away such an opportunity, you do know how hard you've worked just to be able to get this invitation right?"

Rachel shrugs as if she couldn't care less… She continued working on her memorization but when previously the words came easy to her, she just can't seem to concentrate as well on what she's doing anymore…

Kurt chewed on his lower lip… the wheels in his mind turning as he thought of a way how to convince Rachel to attend the event…

"You do know that Finn will be there right?"

Rachel's hand stilled as Kurt prevented a smile from showing on his lips knowing that victory is almost his…

"You do know that he is getting the top honors for the athlete category so for sure he'd be there… "

Kurt looked at Rachel chewing at her lips… a nervous mannerism that she has whenever she's confused about something and Kurt decided to just push it a little further…

"I bet you also remember how Finn does not like mixing business with pleasure so this might probably be the only time you'd catch him without the bimbo beside him?"

Kurt tried to make the tone of his voice matter of fact… like he couldn't care less… A ploy that seem to have worked because the next thing he knew Rachel was beside him, snatching the envelope from his hands…

"Fine! Fine… if I really have to be there…"

She said begrudgingly in an effort to contain the excitement in her voice over the fact that this will be the perfect moment to see Finn… A time when she is being handed a prestigious award and when she can show him the best side of her…

Kurt let out a snort as Rachel opened the envelope… Rachel snaps her head right back up to look at Kurt accusingly in surprise…

"KURT HUMMEL!"

Kurt's eyes widened before averting his gaze from Rachel and starting to mumble excuses guiltily…

"What? I was drinking coffee and I knocked it over the card in my excitement… I know all the details anyway… The Plaza hotel on Saturday 8 PM… "

Rachel looked on in dismay at the coffee stained, blurred letters on the previously elegant invitation… She can barely make out the words except for some letters and words that now does not make any sense…

She shook her head in exasperation as she looked at Kurt and threw the invitation up in the air…

"What the heck… what matters is that we'd be there…"

Kurt let out a squeal of delight as he bounded up towards where Rachel was at to hug her …

The Plaza hotel, Saturday, 8 PM… Rachel thought…

Finally… a moment where Finn and her can meet where she can show him her best side and hopefully he'd realize what a fool he has been for even daring think about leaving her when she is already perfect…

-OOO-

Well… so much for that thought…

Rachel stood awkwardly in the middle of The Plaza's full ballroom… The crème de la creme of New York all milling around about her with looks of quiet shock quickly masked with polite expressions whenever they lay their eyes on her wondering probably what the heck she's doing in a black tie event in a 20's flapper costume…

She could kill Kurt right now… Her friend did manage to tell her all important points of the event except for the fact that it is supposed to be formal and now he even had the gall to tell her he'd be late… DAMN… DAMN… DAMN…

She should have known better to ask when she saw that smudged part in the invitation which read Fashion, some blurred words, costume and then more coffee stains…

All along she thought that the required fashion for the night was costume but little did she know that the blurred words when put together make up the words… INTERMISSION: COSTUME NATIONAL FASHION SHOW

Now she's sticking out like a sore thumb in a sea of women dressed in regal Valentinos and Balenciagas in her black, loose, sequined, above the knee flapper dress which she partnered with fishnet stockings, strappy chunky heels and a pink feather boa wrapped around her neck…

Her hair is clipped and tied securely under a bobbed black wig accentuated by a feather that made her look like Uma Thurman's clone circa pulp fiction… and of course the look would not be complete without the dark red lipstick that she has on exaggerated even more by a faux mole sticking sexily above her upper lip…

How she wished the earth would open up and swallow her whole… People were probably wondering how can an oddball like her be an awardee for an event as prestigious as this if she can't even dress herself…

Rachel pinned on a fake smile as she nods politely to people she passed by while slinking away from the larger crowd gathered in the center of the enormous room and most especially the press before making her way towards the bar in the far corner…

Heaven forbid the paparazzi catches her in such an outfit… If pictures of her even so much as make it to the front pages of the newspapers tomorrow, she might as well retire because being caught in an outfit that does not fit the occasion is most certainly a certified faux pas for any socialite, much less an actress who is touted for her penchant for fashion like herself…

"One apple martini please"

Rachel fanned herself as she leaned on the counter to take a seat on the bar stool behind her.. The bar is dimly lit and less crowded and it is a perfect haven for her to hide her embarassment in private until such time that Kurt arrives and then she can start killing him slowly…Rachel's thoughts were centered on such thoughts that she barely noticed the guy in a crisp three piece Armani suit doing a double take when he saw her and then looking intensely at her as he stood shoulder to shoulder beside her…

Rachel took a gulp from the cocktail that the bartender had just prepared… The man now turning around to boldly face her, a slight look of disdain on his face disguised under a devilishly charming sneer that seems to be directed entirely at her…

"Well… well… well… look what we have here…"

The man drawled sarcastically as Rachel's attention now caught, turned around to face him… Rachel's eyes widened in surprise causing her to choke on the martini that she's drinking as it sprayed all over Noah Puckerman's face… …

"WHAT THE HELL!"

Noah can barely contain his disgust as he brushed away on Rachel's spit while Rachel continued coughing and pounding on her chest, trying hard to recapture her breath…

"Y—Y-YOU!"

Rachel exclaimed in between wheezes...

"Wh-what are you doing here?"

Noah chuckled pompously as he looked at Rachel up and down while taking in her appearance…

Rachel didn't know why but instead of the embarassment which she felt over the other guests looking at her the same way… With this man, just that one look made her feel an entirely different way as if she is sordid and cheap…

"Shouldn't I be the one asking you that instead?'

Noah swivelled his head to look about the vast ballroom as if he was specifically looking for someone…

"So who did you escort today… Hmmmm… Him?"

He seem to put so much thought into guessing before pointing out a balding, potbellied producer who looked even older than Rachel's father but who is well known for being a chronic womanizer favoring women who are almost a third of his age…

"or him?"

His fingers then moved towards a well known actor popular in their circle for being a closet sex addict and for frequenting the sleaziest brothels that he could ever find just to satisfy that addiction…

Rachel felt her cheeks redden in embarassment… Her temper flaring as she thought how this arrogant jerk has still not learnt his lesson and how he still has the idea that she trades flesh for a living…

"DAMMIT!"

Rachel shouted… a few of the guests swivelling their heads to look towards her because of how loudly she yelled…

Noah closed his eyes as if praying for patience as he moved his head a little to get away from her screaming…

"DON'T YOU KNOW WHO I AM?"

Noah pouted and gave a shrug as if he couldn't care less before looking back at Rachel and throwing the question back at her arrogantly…

"I guess I should be the one asking you that… Don't you know who I am?"

He leaned close towards Rachel causing her to press her back even further against the bars counter…

"Do you - two already know each other?'

Rachel and Noah's head swivelled at the same time to look at a newly arrived Kurt who had appeared from out of the blue from behind them…  
There was a curious look on his face as if he didn't quite understand what's going on as Noah and Rachel straightened up as if nothing has happened…  
Kurt's gaze flew from each of them before widening as he took in Rachel's appearance…  
"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU WEAR-"  
Rachel stared at Kurt, shooting laserbeams at him with her eyes causing him to quickly shut his mouth and begin the introductions instead to change the subject…  
"Noah Puckerman - meet Rachel Berry… She might not look it tonight but she is a multi awarded actress and one that's very talented…  
Rachel Berry… meet Noah Puckerman, Puckerman Groups Chief Executive Officer and chairman of the board for the production company Unitel …"  
Noah and Rachel looked on at each other in shock before averting their gazes away from each other…  
Noah took a swig straight up from the whiskey glass in front of him and Rachel started taking out imaginary lints out of the feather boa she's wearing…  
An awkward silence descended on the two as Kurt looked on from one to the other curiously before rolling his eyes and throwing his hands up in the air as he walked away from the uncomforable atmosphere between the two and somehow knowing even without them saying that they needed a moment alone together…

Once Kurt left, the silence stretched on for a couple more minutes before Rachel and Noah both started speaking at the same time…

"Driver?"

"Streetwalker?"

They both stopped again at the same time as Noah took another swig from the whisky glass in front of him…

"I think we should just call it quits… you know… having the wrong first impression of each other the moment we met…"

Rachel snorted…

"How can mistaking you for a driver be the same as you mistaking me for a hooker?"

Noah looked at Rachel up and down again…

"Look at you… can you blame me?"

Rachel's face reddened before she straightened herself to her full height again defiantly…

"Don't you read the newspapers? How can you think that of me when almost everyone in New York knows me? I have never in my life met someone with such atrocious manners…"

Noah smirked…

"Humble eh?"

He said sarcastically…

"Besides, I ain't gay to be following Broadway… who would have thought that you're actually decent because truth be told-"

He looked her up and down before mumbling under his breath…

"I have never met anyone as crazy…"

Rachel's eyes narrowed… she took a deep breath to start on yet another tirade but she was distracted by the melee of photographers and journalists now crowding the entrance of the ballroom…

The shouts of Finn's name preceeded his entrance making Rachel's heart slam into her chest even before she saw him walking behind his throng of assistants… He was wearing a new tuxedo that seem to make him more manly than he already is…

Against her will Rachel felt a smile spreading across her face at her first glance of him… However, that was quickly replaced by a look of dejection as she saw Finn stop for awhile, look behind him and offer his arm to the just a minute ago was hidden from sight, Quinn Fabray…

She looked perfect dressed in a powder pink princess like ballgown… the tiered skirt adding a dash of elegance to the low cut bustier which only succeed in highlighting her sexy innocence… As a woman she can appreciate how well her stylist dressed her because she has never looked more beautiful than in that moment…And here she is, dressed as if she is an extra in a period movie… So much for making him regret why he ever left her…

But more than that, what made Rachel felt so bad was the fact that Quinn was with him… Finn had always been adamant about not bringing her in functions that are official when they were still together just to avoid press and yet here he is… parading Quinn around proudly as if that work rule that he has set for himself has never ever existed…

Noah watched the play of emotions on Rachel's face curiously, unaware of where her thoughts are going and what she's thinking… There was a tender vulnerability to her face that he had never seen before… a deep hurt in her eyes that has not been obvious to him previously and Noah once again had that niggling doubt that he has seen her before…

"Lady, are you alright? What are you doing? Do you-"

Rachel unconsciously puts her fingers against Noah's lips to shush him… Noah jerks his head away but Rachel didn't seem to notice… Noah's brows furrow in confusion as he tried to get a glimpse of who the new arrivals are… his head still swimming with that flash of a moment where he smelt and tasted what Rachel is like when she pressed her skin against his mouth…

Like apples and cotton candy…

As Noah tried to shake himself out of that thought, he stared at Quinn and Finn and suddenly realized that she's the same Rachel Berry who was Finn's ex girlfriend…

Funny how he's now standing beside the girl who got left behind because of his ex girlfriend.. .

Noah then had a moment of flashback as he recalled where he first saw her two months ago…

At first he thought she was drunk when she stumbled into him as he was about to enter his car that cold December evening…

He had just come out of a meeting with a client and seeing her almost slamming into him almost annoyed him…

But as she lifted her head to face him, he was suddenly breathless with the recognition of how beautiful she looked… That and how her expression has reminded him of the feelings that he had forgotten a long time ago and swore to never again feel anything of… That of loss and pain and hope…

Her eyes looked empty… vacant at that moment as if her soul has left her but when he squeezed her shoulder, there was a quiet strength that seem to flow through her making him feel that whatever it is she's going through, she will have the strength to get pass it and to come out of it a little wounded but a whole lot wiser…

"Puck! Over Here!"

Noah snapped his head up as he heard a familiar voice calling his name… He didn't know how much time had passed but Finn is now doing an interview with The Insider from a far distance while Quinn smilingly calls out his name with a wave as she makes her way elegantly towards him…

Noah jerks in surprise as Rachel instinctively wraps her arms around his waist as she buried her face against his chest.. Noah had his hands up in surprise as his gaze moved from Quinn's smiling face to the vulnerable bowed head of the girl in his arms…

As Quinn draws nearer her smile wavers to be replaced with a look of curiousity as she moved her head about trying to place who the girl is in Noah's arms that is hugging him intimately…

Intuitively, Noah puts his left arm around Rachel's waist to hug her back as his right hand held the back of her head in place making sure that he covers her perfectly so that Quinn won't be able to recognize her…

Noah put on his most charming smile as he shouted out at Quinn…

"Quinn… Babe… I'll talk to you later… As you can see I'm otherwise… ummm… preoccupied…"

He ended with a chuckle as Quinn looked on in confusion…

Noah made sure that there was a note of double meaning to his voice… a note that didn't escape Quinn's attention because she had stopped in the middle of her tracks and is now staring at them in confusion…

Noah ushered Rachel out of the ballroom and into the darkened balcony as Finn looked on from a distance…

"Rachel?"

He whispered… unsure if it's really her that seems to be enveloped so securely in another mans arms…

As Noah and Rachel reached the isolated balcony, Rachel breathed great gulps of air for a few minutes before gingerly easing her face and herself away from Noah's warm embrace…

A wavering smile now pasted on her face as she looked up at Noah's concerned expression…

"Now that's how you make it up to a lady… you're forgiven for thinking the worst of me… "

She said teasingly… an effort that must have taken all her willpower given how devastated she looked just a moment ago…

"Thanks… "

She paused.

"For saving my face…"

She then bowed at Noah formally before turning her back on him and walking away…

Noah was left watching her her back… Speechless and left with an empty feeling in his chest as she walked further away… The same inexplicable feeling that he had felt when she walked away from him without another word that fateful night when they first met…

**AUTHORS NOTE:**

_**I'd really love to hear your comments so that i'd know if i'd continue with this FF or not...**_

_**Please, please leave a review as it will make all the hard work I put into this FF worth it…**_


	6. Superman Tonight

**SUPERMAN TONIGHT- BON JOVI**

_There's something about you_  
_I want to rescue_  
_I don't even know you_  
_So what does that mean_

_Maybe I'm cynical_  
_I'm painfully logical_  
_You're tragic and beautiful_  
_And that's good enough for me_

_You're looking for a hero, but it's just my old tattoo_  
_Tonight I swear I'd sell my soul to be a hero for you_

_Who's going to save you_  
_When the stars fall from your sky_  
_And who's going to pull you in_  
_When the tide gets too high_  
_Who's going to hold you_  
_When you turn out the lights_  
_I won't lie I wish that I_  
_Could be your superman tonight_

_If somebody sent you_  
_An angel to save you_  
_What would you tell him to turn him away_

_That your heart don't break_  
_That your lips don't kiss_  
_That life is just a lie_  
_That heaven don't exist?_

_Who's going to save you_  
_When the stars fall from your sky_  
_And who's going to pull you in_  
_When the tide gets too high_  
_Who's going to hold you_  
_When you turn out the lights_  
_I won't lie I wish that I_  
_Could be your superman tonight_

_Who's going to fix you_  
_The next time you break down_  
_Stranded alone by the side of the road_  
_It's your baggage that's dragging you down_  
_Don't look back_  
_Let it go_

_Who's going to save you_  
_When the stars fall from your sky_  
_And who's going to pull you in_  
_When the tide gets too high_  
_Who's going to hold you_  
_When you turn out the lights_  
_I won't lie I wish that I_  
_Was that superman_

_Who's going to save you_  
_When the stars fall from your sky_  
_And who's going to pull you in_  
_When the tide gets too high_  
_Who's going to hold you_  
_When you turn out the lights_  
_I won't lie I wish that I_  
_Could be your superman tonight_

**CHAPTER FOUR**

"Congratulations Rachel!"

Rachel stirred her mango juice in boredom as she plastered yet again what felt like her 103rd fake smile while mouthing platitudes to yet another well wisher as she sat quietly by herself in a corner of the hip New York bar Stanton Social following the just concluded Top Honors awards night…

She was really in no mood to be around a crowd of people, less of all to party after the events of tonight…

She'd rather go straight home and go to sleep but since Kurt said that she had no other choice but to grace this occasion since it is being thrown by just the very person who gave her the award, Rachel was left with no other option but to show her face even just for a couple of hours less she be labeled an ingrate by the tabloids for being a no-show to a shindig that was otherwise mostly prepared for her sake…

What she would not give to be alone…

She sighed as she looked around the bevy of glamorous people packing the place…

Half of whom she doesn't even know and the other half mere acquaintances or people whom she just met because of Broadway…

She feels like a fish out of water and thank God that at least, Kurt had the quick thinking to save her once again from a longer night of mortification by calling her assistant for a change of clothes the moment she saw what Rachel was wearing earlier…

In no time at all, she was slipping into a Monique Lhuillier mini-gown that she had saved just for such an occasion … She was able to rise flawlessly to her moment of glory in splendor when she accepted her award onstage just a couple of hours ago rather than cower in humiliation…

However rather than that, Rachel was just thankful that she was able to change so that at least she wouldn't have to face even greater chagrin by appearing in such an outfit in front of Finn and Quinn…

More so, that Quinn seemed to be so curious about the girl whom Noah was hugging when she initially saw him that she seemed to scan the ballroom every hour or so for a glimpse of the girl in the same outfit…

A fact that Rachel knows because she also overheard her asking some members of the press more than once, if they noticed someone with the same description…

Luckily, no one would have guessed that the same girl would be her… Rachel Berry…

She is now dressed in a lemon yellow strapless piece that showed off her shapely legs and feminine collarbone to perfection… Her long hair that was otherwise hidden from view a while back because of the wig she was wearing now tumbled down her back in soft loose natural waves and she ditched the red lipstick for a pink gloss that made her lips appear even fuller than it already is…

She looked put together, classy and feminine…Attributes that she had never felt more than ever than when she was accepting her award on stage with Finn's gaze fixed on her as he sat in a table directly below the stage… a fact that might be partly to blame why she had a sudden bout of insanity as she almost bared her heart in public for all to see…

Her speech started out quite ordinarily… the normal pleasantries where she thanked the board and her dads and Kurt for the recognition and support that they've given her… but as she stared into the far distance and her eyes accidentally locked with Finn's it was as if all the memories of her past relationship with him came rushing back…

And that's when she blurted out those words unthinkingly that looking back on it now, should have just remained unsaid…

"And lastly to the person who had once inspired me so much… to the person who had been beside me through thick and thin… you once told me to "reach for my dreams and to aim for the stars and I will get what I want…" well… here it is…"

She gave a half chuckle as she waved her trophy around… From the corner of her eye Rachel saw Quinn look at Finn's tender expression directed at her before sidling closer to him…Rachel cleared her throat and continued on…

"I just wish that you were also here to celebrate this triumph with me… to share in my happiness and to inspire me even more to continue further… but since that wish is almost next to impossible … I just want you to know that you mean so much to me more than words can ever say… Thank you… for everything…"

And before she knew it, she was wiping away at an errant tear that fell down on her left cheek as she half smiled and half cried before taking her final bow…

Rachel heard the frenzied buzz of people whispering about her as she went down the stage to thunderous applause… She felt rather than saw Quinn throwing dagger looks at her and as she returned to her table and Kurt hugged her close to him, that was the only time that it sank in on her that tomorrow, she would be tabloid fodder one more time and that her speech would probably be the talk of the town…

Which brings her back to the present and to the fact that she is in a daze because she received an unexpected text coming from Finn probably because of that speech, just 30 minutes ago…

The message was succint … to the point…

"I'm really happy for you Rach…I didn't mean to hurt you … REALLY .. I'm sorry that things turned out for us the way it did…

I wish nothing else for you but to achieve all of your dreams…I'm so, so proud of you… I hope that when all this is over… we can still get to be good friends… Congratulations…"

Not even 100 words and yet it made her feel weak at the knees…

She knows Finn so well… How he's probably keeping his distance not because he's a grade A jerk but because it is his way of letting her down gently… of trying to stay away because he knows how she always pins her hope and misinterprets every single nicety that a person shows her as something more… of how he's consciously making effort to give her space so that he could help her get over him in the best way he knows how…

Well, for now… Rachel thought… Knowing him, It must have taken a lot of struggle on his part to stop himself from sending that text and then doing so in the end… A gesture that had not gone unnoticed since it has greatly touched and moved her that she is now deliberating over herself if she should text him back… (see? What did she say about pinning her hopes on niceties…)

And what should she say, if ever? Rachel's fingers hovered over her mobile phones keypad…

_"Thank you but I'd only be happy if you'd come back to me?"_

Rachel shook her head… definitely not… that's too needy…

_"Call me sometime?"_

No- too casual…

_"Hey—nice to hear from you…__"_

Rachel started typing the words out before deleting it again… No… no.. no… that's just too cheesy and too cute…

Rachel closed her eyes and rotated her neck to ease the kinks out of it… She wish she can make an exit sometime soon but that seems improbable… She sat listlessly again as she let the festivities drown out her thoughts… Oblivious to the fact, that from a far distance someone was watching her…

Noah Puckerman gives a distracted nod as the person beside him spout some know it all nonsense about recent economic trends in the global market…A polite smile on his face making it appear as if he is highly interested on the topic and yet his mind is constantly drifting towards the direction where Rachel was sitting as she looked forlorn and dejected on a night when she should be celebrating instead of fiddling with her cellphone…

He'd bet his life that she is kicking herself over that emotional speech that she gave out earlier…

Is she really that naïve? To think that Finn would come back to her just because she shed some tears?

She is exactly the kind of girl that he hates to be associated with… The kind that pins their hopes on one person and when that expectation crumbles, their whole life goes along with it…

So why does he even care?

Probably because the unguarded look that she had on when she was on that stage that evening reminded him so much of the first time he saw her and all the niggling emotions that come along with it …

She looked melancholic and misty eyed as she talked about the person who had inspired her…Somehow she reminded him so much of a young version of him when he was five and innocent and believed that his father will never leave him …

A feeling that he had long ago buried and forgotten when it blew up in his face like some major disaster… A feeling that had left him lost and dejected and bitter and jaded up until the present…

Noah gave a shake of his head and dragged his gaze away from her…

Whatever she's going through is not his problem… It will do both of them more good if he just stays out of it and if he stops poking his nose into other peoples business… It's not as if they were close or even friends… She is at most a stranger and if only he would be the one to decide… he would like her to remain as such for the rest of his life…

Just when Noah had taken Rachel out of his consciousness and was beginning to enjoy himself for the first time during the evening.. he felt someone pulling on his sleeves forcefully as he was dragged half laughingly to another corner of the room…

The same corner where Rachel was sitting, looking up in surprise at him while she moved sideways to make room as he was dumped unceremoniously beside her…

Once Noah was seated, Rachel and him gave small nods awkwardly at each other…

"OH. MY. GOD… Look at how cute the two of you are! You are young and both single… you should mingle!"

Rachel and Noah looked up at the the well known and well respected Page 5 New York Times writer who is now clapping his hands in delight as he looked at his handiwork together…

"Puck… you should start dating seriously again I tell you… it's been years since you broke up with Quinn and you know a guy has got to move on…Quinn has already found someone so you should-"

The writer stopped midsentence and looked at Rachel as if he should have said something he shouldn't…

He had obviously had too much to drink aside from the fact that he's really well known for being meddlesome that prompted him to matchmake…

Rachel remained polite as she gave out a forced laugh while Noah remained silent, sitting there with a blank expression…

The writer then clearead his throat awkwardly and called out Kurt in an effort to dispel the charged tension hanging about in the room…

"KURT! KURT! OVER HERE! don't you think they look good together?"

Rachel groaned inwardly… As if it was not enough that his voice was so loud that now almost half the room is watching them avidly… he even had to call Kurt's attention who is now looking at the both of them in obvious pleasure…

"DAMMIT… why didn't I think of this? You two are a match made in heaven…"

Kurt almost jumped up and down in excitement as Rachel shoots laser beams at him with her eyes…

Why oh why is it that whenever someone breaks up everybody close to them everybody makes it their lifelong mission to make sure they're properly hooked up again?

Noah looked on at Rachel's expressions in amusement… She looked so embarrassed that she is visibly flinching at every word that the writer and Kurt were saying yet she is polite enough that she does not say a thing even if it seems that she was clearly uncomfortable about everything that's happening…

Does she even know how to say no?

"You should exchange numbers… QUICK!"

Kurt grabs Rachel's phone from the table quickly even before she can protest as he asked Noah pointedly…

"Number?"

"Huh"

Noah cocked his ear in shock at Kurt… Kurt rolled his eyes in exasperation…

"NUM-BER"

He enunciated the word as if he is stupid… No wonder they're friends…Noah thought… They probably came from the same mental institution…

"2-1-2-5-9…"

Noah dictated the number hesitantly to Kurt as he punched it into Rachel's mobile… Rachel looked heavenwards and uttered a little prayer for Jesus to take her now at this very moment or otherwise she'd be the first person to die of shame, if ever there really was such a case…

"There!"

Kurt crowed in triumph as Noah's phone rang and he urged him with his hands to pick it up… The writer stood in the sidelines looking extremely pleased…

Noah brought his phone out and looked at a loss as to what to do

"That's her number and you can call her now whenever you want…"

Kurt placed Rachel's cell back on the table as if nothing had happened before wagging his fingers at Noah in warning…

" Save it! And PLEASE!… Don't get her drunk… she becomes a completely different person and you wouldn't wanna see that…"

"KURT HUMMELLLL ! "

Rachel shouted her fists clenched to her side…

"I'm just saying…"

He said innocently before the writer and him bid their goodbyes to the uncomfortable duo but not before he dropped another bomb on the two of them…

"Someone else's loss is another person's gain… I'm sure your exes would regret ever leaving you once you two get together…"

And with a wink Kurt saunters off leaving an awkward Rachel and Noah seated side by side together…

The minutes pass in silence and Rachel sipped her mango juice from a straw… her eyes not meeting Noah as Noah looked up on one of the huge TV screens littering the area where a clip of Rachel accepting her award just a few hours ago was being shown…

Rachel looked at him from the corner of her eyes… the straw clamped in between her teeth as Noah's eyes were fixed on the TV… a smile playing about his lips as if he is preventing himself from laughing out loud once she reached the tearful part where she got just a tiny weeny bit personal…

WHAT THE? Does he find that funny? What the heck is he smiling about something that is now causing her so much grief and regret that she ever did it?

_Douchebag… Evil jerk …_

Still he was the one responsible for giving her the award tonight and for saving her from humiliation from Quinn, so she should keep her mouth shut and remain polite…

Noah then turned around to address Rachel as if reading her mind…

"So, was that a prepared speech?"

Rachel's head swung up… her teeth gritted as she thought…

THE HELL? - a prepared speech? When I had obviously just aired my dirty laundry for all to see while giving it? Is he mocking me?

Instead she forced a smile on her face and answered formally…

"Of course not… By the way, Thanks so much for the recognition…"

He nodded slowly… a smile on his face…

"You're most welcome…"

Rachel threw dagger looks at him…

MOST WELCOME? MOST WELCOME?

_Ever since I met you my life has been one series of embarassment after another… You neanderthal…_

Rachel made a fist at him as he had his head bowed down but he immediately raised it up and she was caught midway so she pretended that she was stretching instead…

Noah looked at her quizically before he looked up at the TV … a rapt expression now on his face as Rachel followed his gaze and saw an ad for a liquor drink that stars Quinn being flashed right at that moment…

Rachel watched him for awhile… He was pokerfaced… seemingly unaffected…

She wonders how he can do it? She only has to hear Finn's voice and she already breaks down into tears…

"Ummm—can I ask you a question?'

Rachel said hesitantly as Noah focused his attention on her…

"Hmmm?"

His eyes were looking at her intensely…making her blush and forcing her to look down at her hands instead…

"Ummmm… I'm- I'm just wondering… I don't know if you know this but Finn Hudson and I used to be together and - and - you still seem awfully close with Quinn… ummm - would you- would you tell her all about me when you see each other?"

"Why?'

He asked in confusion as if the thought never crossed his mind…

"Because… ummm - I just thought that -…"

Noah cuts her off midsentence…

"Babe, It's not in my nature to meddle in other peoples business…besides, I have nothing to do with you anyway…"

Rachel felt herself flush from the tips of her toes to the roots of her hair…

One point for jerkface… she could have kicked herself for sounding needy…

However, if she does not have anything to do with him, then why is it that he has not gotten up yet and is still seated beside her right now when he could just have walked away?

_Arrogant Bastard…_

"Ahhh- Ahh… yeah…"

She gave a weak chuckle

Thanks…"

She added in a little voice…

Okay … that's it… stop talking to him…

Noah looked on at Rachel as she sat quietly… Flashbacks of the scene from tonight running through his brain when she had her head on his chest and when she cried while accepting that speech… against his will, he find himself asking concernedly…

"Are you alright?"

Rachel jerked her head up to look at him… surprise etched all over her face…

"HUH?"

Rachel turned her face around as she also flashbacked on that scene where he was mocking her when they first met that evening and when he turned to hug her to hide her from Quinn…

This guy is totally schizo… Either that or he has bipolar disorder… one minute he's a jerk and the next, he gives her butterflies in her stomach … Worst, he's also driving her crazy with his hot one minute, cold the next persona…She doesn't really know what to make of him… DAMMIT… What is she to do?

Fuck, she needs a drink…

Rachel poured out a full shot of the whiskey that was in their table as Noah looked on at her in surprise… Rachel almost had the shot glass in her mouth when she turned to address Noah…

"Aren't you going to stop me?"

He looked at her quizically…

"from drinking?"

Noah looked on at her dumbfoundedly…

"Am I supposed to?"

"Well, it's just that you heard what Kurt has said…"

Noah gave out a chuckle…

"Listen sweetcakes, you're already of age … you can do whatever you freakin want to…"

Rachel was perplexed… I can do what I want to… Finn used to check on her so much all the time when they were together that she had forgotten what that felt like…

As Rachel took her first shot… she gradually felt herself loosen up…

Feeling emboldened by the spirit sitting in her stomach, Rachel poured herself a second shot as she asked Noah

"So why did you break up?"

Noah hesitated for awhile… obviously not so used to the idea of baring his heart to a total stranger whom he's only gotten to meet for the second time… He remained silent for a couple of minutes… like he would totally disregard the question… but after awhile he gave a shrug as he answered Rachel…

"Feelings…"

"Huh?"

"Our feelings got in the way…it was getting too complicated…"

Rachel took a shot of the liquor before shouting out…

"BUT HOW CAN LOVE BE LOVE IF IT'S NOT COMPLICATED?"

She can already feel herself getting tipsy…

"Stupid! You have not really felt love if you have not gone crazy from the complication of it all… I hope you find a girl who can make you feel all that… REALLY!"

She then took another shot as Noah watched her just as a man in suit walks up behind Noah to whisper something in his ear…

Noah gave a hesitant nod before standing up tentatively… his gaze on Rachel as he addressed her politely…

"I… I have to settle some business for awhile… will you be okay by yourself?"

Rachel gave a violent nod as she smiled at Noah…

"OF COURSE! GO! Go and do that boring stuff that you're supposed to do…"

She gave out a little giggle as Noah nodded impersonally…

"Then it was nice meeting you…"

"Again…"

Rachel added before breaking down in laughter…

Noah gave one last look at her as he walked up to welcome the suits who just arrived although he can't help his gaze from straying towards where Rachel was sitting from time to time…

An hour passed and Rachel's chin was already resting at the table… she was about to pour herself another drink but the bottle was already empty… Rachel turned the alcohol bottle upside down and peeped at it's content slopilly as if she was expecting to have another drop come out of it…

Disappointed, she grabbed her bag and scarf from beside her as she clumsily staggerred out of the bar…

Noah was listening intently to something that a colleague was saying when he saw Rachel stand up swaying from the corner of his eye… He watched her as she grabbed her things thinking that she's just going to the restroom but he stood up in surprise when he saw her making her way out of the bar by herself in that drunken state…

Instinctively, Noah excused himself as he followed Rachel out, scanning the streets for any sign of her since she was nowhere to be found…

Remembering that Kurt left her number on his handyphone, Noah dials it and heard it ringing from a distance… He saw Rachel standing in a streetcorner frozen as she looked at a laughing Finn who had his arms around Quinn as they enter another bar from the opposite end of the street coincidentally…

Even before Noah can get towards her, Rachel was already crossing the street as cars blare their horns angrily at her… Noah looks on exasperatedly as he takes a deep breath to follow suit giving chase after Rachel… More drivers press on their horns…

He thought that she is going to follow Finn and Quinn in the bar but she kept walking… Noah found her in a parking lot, crouched low against the wheel of a luxury car… her head bowed down as she made heaving and grunting sounds… her shoulders shaking…

Is she crying? Throwing up?

Noah slapped his forehead… Why? Why does he have to do the gentlemanly thing and follow her when he could have just turned the other way and pretended that he haven't seen her?…

With a grossed out expression on his face Noah started patting her back as Rachel rolled around in surprise at his touch, her mouth opened in a wide O as she looked at Noah guiltily, her nail file still in her right hand…

Noah looked on at Rachel in confusion as his attention was caught by a hissing sound coming from the vehicles wheel which Rachel has stabbed with her nail file repeatedly…

With understanding dawning that it was Finn's car which she has obviously flatenned… Noah shouted at Rachel at the top of his lungs…

"SHIT! ARE YOU OUT…"

Rachel jerks up and grabs Noah by the collar… Noah stops midsentence more from the surprise of Rachel's sudden action rather than by the fact that her alcohol laden breath is now all over his face…

Rachel had her face so close to his… her forehead against his as Noah waited with bated breath wondering what she'd do next…

"Noah Puckerman…."

She said breathlessly… Noah replied nervously…

"What the hell do you want?"

"Let - Us date…"

And as Noah's eyes widened in surprise… Rachel gave one last gag and threw all over his shirt before passing out…

**AUTHORS NOTE:**

Thank you to everyone who has left their comments… It truly inspires me and motivates me to keep going with this FF so I hope you'd keep it coming… To those who like this fiction but have not commented yet, I'd really love to hear from you so do leave me a note! Till next chappie!


	7. Something to Talk about

**CHAPTER 5**

**Something to Talk About**

Noah glanced up for what felt like the fifth time as he sat at the head of his dining room table at his Park Avenue penthouse apartment while sipping his coffee and reading his morning paper…

The room was sorrounded by floor to ceiling French windows allowing the natural sunlight to filter in from the balcony making it appear bright, warm and welcoming…

There was a quiet elegance that is present in the room that screams of money and if one looked closely, it is evident that much thought is given to each and every single detail that is present in the room… From the Louis XV cupboards that displays the best and most elegant Limoges China to gleaming perfection up to the Murano vases that were at the center of the table containing fresh floral arrangements that add a dash of color to the otherwise opulent room…

It is a place designed for kings and royalty and guaranteed to take ones breath away… But to the man sitting there alone, everything looks just the way it had always been…

Noah lowered his newspaper as one of the uniformed maids who were flitting in and out of the room placed another breakfast dish in front of him subtly… he cleared his throat so as to appear nonchalant before posing the question to the otherwise retreating househelp…

"Ummm-"

The maid bowed at Noah as he poured milk into his coffee cup….

"my-my guest… is she already awake?"

"I'm sorry sir… she seems to have been so tired from yesterday that she is still deeply asleep when we last checked on her…. Do you want to have her waken up?"

Noah waved his hand at once… shaking his head vigorously too to get his point across…

"Forget it… I'm just checking… Let her sleep some more… just make sure to prepare one more setting for her when she comes down later…"

The maid bowed once again in agreement before walking away as Noah lifted his newspaper to resume reading even if in reality, he can't make sense of the words in front of him as he thought back to the last 12 hours and how his life had been turned upside down just because of a girl named Rachel Berry…

Rachel passed out cold the moment she threw up… Noah looking down in disgust at his brand new 8000 dollar Armani suit which is now covered in her puke and rendered practically unwearable… He looked down at her… speechless as she lay limp in her arms… her mouth slightly open as she snored slightly…

She looked a terrible sight…her lipstick was smudged, her hair in disarray and she even had mascara trailing over her cheeks… How can one woman who is supposed to be so accomplished be so scattered? Always, whenever they meet, it's like she's in some sort of predicament or another…

Noah had to pass quite some time in the cold in his stinky undershirt having removed his jacket and dress shirt as he waited for his chauffeur… Rachel heaving drily in his arms in her sleep as he tried to maneuver himself the best way he knows how away from her, afraid that she'd throw up on him again…

Once inside the limo, Noah laid Rachel down flat on the back seat but she kept on gagging…

Noah lets out a soft curse as he looked at her… her shoulders heaving, her mouth pursed as if she'd vomit anytime…

"SHIT!"

Left with no choice, Noah elevated her head on his lap… the minute he did so, Rachel went back to snoring…

Noah shook his head in disbelief at how he's gone this evening from a driver, to a knight in shining armor and now to a nursemaid… he doesn't even know where to bring her for goodness sakes, and calling Kurt proved to be a futile exercise since he sounded more excited at the prospect of his friend passing out while with him rather than worried…

What else does he expect? That's probably the reason why they're friends… You know that saying about birds of the same feather and all… Kurt is probably as much of a psycho as Rachel is…

They have been driving around in circles as Noah stared at Rachel… deliberating what to do next as his driver asked him for the third time where they're heading… He shook Rachel's arm a little, tying to get her out of her drunken stupor as he looked at her in exasperation…

"Hey sweetlips! Where do I bring you? I don't even know where you live…"

Rachel stirred and mumbled some incoherent words in her sleep before turning around to face him and burying her face near his stomach …Noah almost jumping up in surprise as she snuggled her cheek against his thin undershirt…

"Date me…"

Noah almost let out a chuckle… Well, she may be clumsy but there's no sidetracking her once she gets something in her head… He does not know what's gotten into her but maybe she really goes around asking random guys to date her when she's drunk that's why Kurt warned him about having her drink…

Noah shook Rachel one more time..

"Can you just straighten the fuck up or would you just like me to leave you in the middle of the street?"

Rachel swatted away at his hands…an annoyed expression on her face…

"AH! WHATEVER!"

She exclaimed with her eyes closed before snuggling even closer to him… and as if that's not enough Rachel grabs on to one of his hands and holds on tightly to it, pressing it against her cheek before falling back deeply into sleep…

Great! Just great Noah Puckerman! Just when you wanted to get rid of her the closer to you she becomes… with great care so as not to wake her, Noah extricates himself from her grip deliberating what to do next…

Noah thought to himself how he can leave her at a motel or hotel but how that might cause more unnecessary scandal…

Disregarding the temptation of doing the most bastardly thing he could which is to just ditch her in the middle of nowhere, Noah lets his conscience guide him and instructs the driver to take her to his home…

Which brings him back to today when he's thinking that he should have stuck with the first plan instead…

He is just plain uncomfortable about having her sleep where he lives and surely, he would not want to give a naïve girl like her, false hopes that they can even be friends…

He can only pray that she would not read too much into the whole situation for more than what it is once she wakes up…

"PUCK! PUCK ARE YOU THERE?"

Noah jerked his head in surprise as his musings were cut short by the familiar voice calling out to him from the hallway… Muttering to himself how this could not be happening today of all days and how he does not need the additional stress…

Noah closed his eyes in desperation as his worst nightmare proved to be true and Quinn Fabray swept into the dining room…

Her hair was perfectly blow dried and she had on huge moviestar sunglasses that framed almost half of her face… she was dressed in dark washed skinny jeans, gold ballet flats and a black glittered shirt imprinted with a gold guitar and the word "Diva" written in sequined cursive which is partially covered by a White Military Jacket with gold buttons…

Noah followed Quinn with his gaze wordlessly… Looking at the way she plopped unto the seat beside him and made a face without much thought or regard to his questioning look, there is no doubt that she is every inch the description of just what her shirt says…

"Agatha…. Can you bring me coffee pleaseeeee?"

Quinn pouted prettily to a maid who was obviously tickled pink at the attention that a celebrity like her was giving her… there was a comfort and ease to the way Quinn moved around the room… like she had been there countless number of times in the past and that she had regarded the house as her second home, which in fact, she really did…

Quinn removed her glasses as Noah looked on at her steadily, not speaking a word as she reached for a piece of bread from the nearby bread basket while she made small talk…

"I thought your mom was coming home for a vacation? Is she still intent on staying in LA?"

Quinn broke a piece from the bread and chewed on it nonchalantly… Noah disregarding the question as he looked at her accusingly…

"What brings you here? Why didn't you even tell me you're coming?"

Noah's voice came out more sharply than he intended… his gaze flitting from the hallway leading to the room where Rachel was at and to the girl who is now seated beside him…

Quinn looked on at Noah in surprise…

"Noah Puckerman... are you trying to make me feel unwelcome? Since when do I have to tell you beforehand If I wanted to visit?"

She said in a voice heavily dripping with sarcasm as Noah rubbed the back of his neck as if he was suddenly caught cheating… Quinn narrowed her eyes at him…

"Unless… there's something that you're not telling me?"

Noah looked on at Quinn guiltily before letting his gaze drift swiftly to the hallway once again where Rachel's room was at where he prays she would stay until the coast is clear…

He does not want to be anywhere near these two women when they face off each other…

REALLY! He's in no mood to play mediator and if they see each other he has no doubt that he would be playing that role even if it was against his will…

"WHAT? wh-wh-what do I need to tell you?"

Quinn leaned back on her chair… clearly enjoying seeing Noah discomfited which is a sight one only gets to see for a few times and far between…

"Hmmm… like perhaps the fact that you have a new girlfriend?ummm… like that girl from yesterday?"

She said mischievously as she brought her face close to his….an avid look on her face…

"C'mon spill…"

Noah gave a forced laugh… his gaze not meeting Quinn's before taking hold of his newspapear and hiding behind it…

"I don't know what you're talking about Fabray… I'm through with girlfriends… I'd never get tired of women but I'm through with anything serious…I'm just not cut out for it… Look where being with you got me… besides, don't you have anything going on today?"

Quinn made a face, sticking her tongue out at him for being such a killjoy …

"Alright! I know when I'm not wanted… I just passed by since my Redbook cover shoot is nearby… I'd just have a cup of coffee and I'd go… I just thought I'd say hi coz …. I … I just suddenly missed you that's all…"

There was a hint of sadness to Quinn's voice when she finished her sentence… a tone that might have escaped anyone else but not Noah, making him forget all his worries about Quinn seeing Rachel as his concern for the girl in front of him took priority…

Noah lowered his newspaper to look at her …Quinn had on a smile that didn't quite reach her eyes… like her thoughts were far away and she was thinking of something else…

"Trouble in paradise?'

Noah asked teasingly… Quinn pins on a bright smile and shakes her head … She was suddenly back to her bubbly self which made even Noah doubt if he really did see her looking melancholic just a few minutes ago

"Just…"

She shrugged… and when she turned to face Noah, her attention was caught by the newspaper that Noah was holding where Rachel was in the headline…

The words "A chance for a reconciliation?" blaring in the front page above a picture of a crying Rachel from yesterday's awards night while Finn's picture was inset…

A Finn whose attention was obviously on the girl on the stage, looking as if he wanted to jump out of his seat and comfort her at any time while Quinn was photographed looking petulant as she clung on to his arms while staring at his profile… …

Quinn looked at the picture for a second and the pensive look was back before she expelled a large sigh…

"Can you imagine me getting jealous and scared Puck?"

Noah scoffs at that as Quinn gave him a wavering smile…

"But I am… I guess I just shouldn't be putting too much emotion into this whole thing and just take it a step at a time… Seventeen years is just a lot of years to compete with I just realized… "

She lets out another sigh as she puts her sunglasses back on…

"Life was a whole lot better and less complicated when we were together…"

She mumbled under her breath…

Noah looked on at Quinn seriously… deliberating over his words before coming out with it…

"Then why'd you have to complicate it? We had a good thing going on before … we should have just stuck with it since it was comfortable…"

Noah finished his sentence matter of factly….like he's stating a business proposal rather than a love declaration…

Quinn paused midway… reading through Noah's expression before brushing it off with sarcastic laughter…

"You sure do know how to make a woman change her mind... "

Noah chuckled at that too… knowing himself well enough to know and understand that he'd never be a hopeless romantic…

Quinn shook her head and threw one last look at the newspaper that Noah put down on top of the table with a mischievous smile on her face…

As if overcame with a brilliant idea, she then pushed up her sunglasses once again over her hair before addressing Noah sincerely…

"Maybe if you really want to help me, you can get Rachel out of my hair…"

Noah looked on at Quinn quizzically…

"Maybe she needs a distraction so that she can forget all about Finn…"

She pinned her gaze on Noah as Noah starts laughing then gets serious as he suddenly realized that Quinn meant him…

"Me? MEEEEEE?"

He pointed to himself before dissolving in fits of laughter once again… before long Quinn was laughing hard too as if she had a sudden realization how crazy her suggestion sounded…

"Alright… "

She said in between giggles…

"That was one crazy idea anyways… I don't know how a naïve girl such as her can stand a worldly man like you… I bet you'd be bored even before you know it and she'd be crying her eyes out even harder once you get tired of her… "

Noah looks on at Quinn arrogantly…

"And how would you know she would even like me?"

Quinn shook her head before grabbing her bag and standing up…

"There's not a sane woman in this whole wide world Noah Puckerman who would not like you…"

She then walked off towards Noah and planted a kiss on top of his head… her arms around his neck which Noah also held on to with familiarity…

"Except you…"

He whispered… Quinn paused for a moment before answering…

"I didn't just like you Noah… I LOVED YOU… I knew you knew that… but no matter how much I deny it, i need to be loved too… and that you just can't give me…so I moved on… "

She smiled at Noah candidly… like it was a subject that they have talked about too many times in the past… Noah nodded at that in understanding… making no apologies of the fact that that's just the way he is…

"Touche'"

He smiled regretfully as Quinn expelled a sigh one more time and puts her sunglasses back on…

"I'm going…"

With a wan smile and a wave Quinn walked towards the foyer as if she is about to leave but just when Noah thought she was going to go towards the direction of the door, Quinn breaks out into a run as she dashes towards the hallway leading to the bedroom…

Noah jumps up in surprise from his seat and gives chase after her as the maids all look on in surprise…

"DAMMIT QUINN! WHAT THE HELL?"

Quinn stops in the middle of the hallway as she fished her cellphone out and saw her agents name flashing onscreen, signalling that she has already arrived to pick her up…

"Damn…" she whispered…

Noah stood crouched over at the end of the hallway panting as Quinn looked on at him and then at the bedroom door curiously…

"Come here… you sly woman you…"

Noah said half teasingly and half seriously… his heart racing out of his chest as he thought about the consequences should Quinn see Rachel sleeping here and the misunderstandings that it might generate right after…

Quinn paused for a few seconds deliberating what to do as her cellphone rang one more time before she threw her hands up in the air…

"Darn it… I know you're hiding something Puckerman… I just know it…"

With one last curious look towards the landing, Quinn started walking towards where Noah was standing..

"Today is your lucky day Puck…"

She wagged her fingers at him…

"But sooner or later I'd know what you're hiding… and once I know… "

Quinn left her sentence unfinished… with a quick peck on Noah's cheek, she gives one last wave as she rushes out the front door and just like that she was gone… Her perfume wafting around in the air the only real evidence that she had ever been inside the house at all…

Noah slumped down at the wall across the landing as he clutched his chest… He does not know why he has to feel guilty but somehow it seems like a betrayal of Quinn's trust to keep Rachel here…

However, more than that feeling, he wonders why he feels the need to protect Rachel even more…

Darn it… it's their constant unplaned meetings that's messing with his brain that's all…He wished she'd wake up soon and that she'd get out of his house ASAP… the quicker, he can wash himself off her, the faster he can forget that they had even met…And then maybe then, he can just chalk the three times that they've met as coincidence and probably that is the time when his life can go back to normal…

Rachel clutched her shoes close to her chest as she tiptoed barefoot across the carpeted hall of the seemingly palatial apartment that she found herself in after she came to…

She remembered how she woke up with a dry throat, a spinning head and the aftertaste of vomit inside her mouth making her groan about how she needs to go to the bathroom but then she suddenly caught stock of the room she was in forcing her to immediately come to her senses…

Rachel looked on in awe at her sorroundings and her first thought was that she was screwed…

Was she so drunk last night that she splurged on her credit card and checked in at the most expensive private suite of a hotel? However, the room was too opulent for it to even be a hotel…

She was on top of a canopied King sized bed with an 800 thread count egyptian sheet if she's not mistaken and all around her were French windows covered with lacy cream curtains that if she is not just as awake as she is, she would have thought that she is in one of her recurring dreams which is that to be a FairyTale princess…

Just when Rachel was inviting the thought of birds and wildlife coming up to her as she sang a melody on the bedroom window, a maid enters the room and excuses herself as she found Rachel wide awake… Rachel jerked the bedsheet close to her in surprise….The maid turning around mumbling a hasty "Sorry" as she closed the door once again on her way out …

"Excuse-"

Rachel shouted out prompting the maid to pause in the middle of closing the door on her…

"ummm… Where am I?"

The maid looks on at her in surprise but quickly recovers… her face once again pokerfaced as she addressed her…

"This is the house of Mr. Noah Puckerman… He has been waiting for you downstairs for breakfast… Should I tell him you're coming?"

Noah Puckerman… the words resounded like an echo in Rachel's ears…

As if in a nightmare, the memories of last night came rushing back to her as she felt herself flush in embrassment…

FUCK! She once again succeeded in making a fool out of herself and in front of him again no less… Darn it! She has to get out of here… like NOW… without him ever seeing her ideally and then they can finally bid each other good riddance…

Rachel pasted a bright smile on her face, the wheels in her head turning as she said in an unusually high pitched voice…

"Can… Can I just have a moment to myself to freshen up and then I'd be right down?"

The maid gave a small nod…

"Certainly …"

And the moment the door closed, Rachel was in a frenzy like a woman possessed as she got into the new clothes that were laid out at the foot of the bed and grabbed at her possesions that were strewn about the room…

She doesn't know where her old clothes went and it's not that she doesn't care what happened to it but desperate times call for desperate measures and this is one of those times…She'd just probably have her personal assistant call Noah back so she can pick it up, but for now, she just wants to get out of here and in a way where she doesn't even have to see Noah most preferably…

Which thinking about it now, is easier said than done in a house that feels as if it's a freaking maze…

Seriously! Is he gunning for the top spot in the Guiness book of world records for apartments to get lost in or something? She had been slinking around the whole apartment for about 15 minutes and she has still not seen the nearest exit…She's hidden in pillars, snuck into empty rooms that could pass for ballrooms and she's seen about 4 or so different maids and butlers pass by but still not even a glimpse of the nearest door that would lead her outside… Just her luck…

"Leaving without saying goodbye?"

Rachel whirled around in surprise as she came face to face with a chest that for the past 24 hours had become familiar to her…She did not even have to raise her head up to know who the chest or the voice belonged to and all she could think of at that point in time was that why fate can't even give her a freakin' break…

BUSTED!

HA! So much for keeping things on the down low…

Rachel raised her head up to see Noah smirking arrogantly at her… his eyebrows raised as if waiting for her explanation while he stood watching her make her escape… his arms crossed firmly across his chest…

"Good morning"

Rachel said formally… keeping her head bowed so that Noah wouldn't know that she's flushing beet red as he stared at her bare foot for a time before moving her gaze lazily to her heels that she is clutching protectively against her chest…

"Planning to jump over the fence? Is this the way to say goodbye to a person who just saved you a second time?"

Noah didn't know why but there's something inside him that seemed to have gotten ticked off the moment he saw Rachel tiptoeing around his house like a fugitive making her escape… Does she hate the thought of seeing him again so much that she'd rather walk barefoot just so she can run away?

Against her will, Rachel's legendary temper flared from Noah's incessant goading as she raised her head defiantly at him, her eyes blazing…

"And just who told you I needed saving?"

Noah shrugged nonchalantly…

"You were staggering around the streets drunkenly and you would have passed out in the streets if it wasn't for me…"

Rachel felt her cheeks burning … How dare him make her feel that she owes him something? Who was it in the first place who followed her like a moron even if she was just walking off all by herself…

"Wh-When? I most certainly was not sta-staggering… I was simply walking out…"

Noah lets out a smirk at that …

"Second, you were crouching down against that car looking as if you were crying…"

"I WAS DEFINTELY NOT CRYING… I was…I was…"

Rachel shouted in protest, her voice slowly getting smaller as Noah interjected cockily…

"Of course not, because you were committing a petty crime…"

Rachel opened her mouth to once again defend herself but even before she can say another word, Noah was already speaking once again..

"And third… what's that about us dating?"

Rachel's head jerked up at that… her gaze moving away from him as she wished herself anywhere else but in front of him at this moment…

"Surely, you remembered that you said…Noah Puckerman… Let's date…"

He leaned closer to her as Rachel backed up… his voice imitating hers at that part where he said let's date as if mocking her…

Rachel's mouth opened and closed as she tried to come out with another alibi that would seem plausible and sound logical to both him and her at this point…Shit! Who would have known that he had such a wonderful memory?

"No?"

Noah shook his head sarcastically…

"You don't remember?"

Rachel remained quiet … her fists opening and closing the only sign she's showing of the distraught she's under…Noah smiled… the kind of smile that a lot of girls swoon over as he continuously interrogated Rachel…

"Really, Miss Berry… tell me … Do you like me? You think I'm hot?"

Rachel looked at Noah's serious expression for a few seconds before bursting out in laughter… Seriously, the guy is so conceited that he probably thinks she's asking him to date because she finds him particularly attractive…

Noah straightens up to his full height, his jaw hardening as he watched Rachel wipe tears of laughter from her eyes…

"Have you been watching too many movies?"

Rachel said while laughing, as she shook her head… her eyes still sparkling with mirth as she addressed Noah…

"What about you Noah? Do you like me?"

Noah had on a shocked expression on his face at her straightforward and unexpected question… an expression that seemed to give Rachel her much needed confidence to explain to him what she was not able to the night before…

"See? Just as I thought… it's not as if we like each other, that's why I asked that…"

Rachel lets out a sigh as she explained further to Noah…

"I would have chalked it up to my drunken state last night and do both of us a favor by pretending to forget about that crazy idea but since you brought it up anyways…"

She let her voice trail off as she deliberated how to start explaining to Noah… with a sigh Rachel began with her proposal…

"Remember what Kurt said? About our exes regretting letting us go if we saw that we were with someone else? Seeing Finn yesterday with Quinn , I realized that I just can't stand still and not do something to get him back…

She looked pleadingly at Noah…

"I know how jealous he is… how he's always regarded my love for him as something that's supposed to be only for him… I just want him to see that no one else is as perfect together as we are… Wouldn't it really work best to our advantage if you just consider it? Without Finn in the equation, you could also have Quinn back… you can…

"NO…"

Noah said firmly…

Rachel stopped midsentence as she stared at Noah like an idiot…

"huh?"

She cocked her ears at him… convinced that she must have misheard him the first time around…

"NADA… NO… I don't want any part of it…"

Noah was pokerfaced as if he couldn't even care less…

"B-b-but you haven't even let me finish… you don't even know what I'm…"

"I could have gotten Quinn back if that was my choice but I chose to let her go… I am not as pathetic nor as foolish or childish… "

Rachel straightened up at that… looking as if Noah had just slapped her… Noah looks at her, closes his eyes and gave out a sigh…

"Look Miss Berry… you might think this is extremely rude of me but let me just give you this piece of advise as a parting gift, shall we? If someone leaves you and hurts you as much as you're hurting right now? Love does not exist anywhere in that equation…

Those emotions and feelings and getting back together and making up and all that crap? That is shit fed to you by Disney that every girl has a prince and things end up happily ever after… IT ISN'T REAL… so let go… move on in style…stop living your life like a fucking tragic Broadway play because this is REAL LIFE…"

Noah looked on at Rachel in surprise… instead of the anger that he predicted he'd be seeing in her eyes, she was looking at him tenderly and with compassionate eyes…

"Who hurt you? Who made you this cynical, Noah? And what do you know of me and of Finn to say those things that you just said?"

Rachel inhaled deeply, a sad smile on her face as she said with finality…

"We'd get back together you'd see… I was hoping with your help… but even without it… I am going to get him back and we're going to be happy…"

Noah gave a slow nod… Convinced that no matter what else he says, there's no changing Rachel's mind…

"Well, go on then… I wish you the best but I don't want any part of it…"

Noah then extends his hand towards Rachel in a formal gesture…

"Good Luck Rachel Berry…"

Hesitantly Rachel pressed her hands against his… The feel of his palm against hers once again stirring emotions in her that she just can't explain…

Noah withdraws his hand as he stood awkwardly in front of her…

"Then if there's nothing else… My maid will lead you the way out and i also asked my driver to drive you home now…"

As if by magic, a maid appears suddenly beside Noah…

"Goodbye Rachel… "

With a nod Noah turns his back and walks away as the maid leads Rachel the other way… They were only a couple of steps away from where Noah and her were talking when by an unknown force of will, Rachel looked back… his departing back now the last memory imprinted on her mind before she stepped out into the sunlight and away from Noah's life most probably…

Teddy zipped up his parka as he turned up the heater inside his car even higher feeling as if he'd freeze to death at any given moment…

However despite the freezing temperature outside, his temper is flaring as he had once again been seemingly given a bogus tip by their intern that Quinn Fabray is supposed to be at Noah's house and that he can guarantee a scoop that despite the fact that she is now dating Finn Hudson, there seem to be still something going on between her and Noah Puckerman…

He had been parked opposite Puckermans apartment for a couple of hours now just to catch them redhanded but he doesn't know that he had missed Quinn arriving and leaving when he decided to go get breakfast a couple of hours ago…

What Teddy just heard right now was that Times Square is packed, because Quinn is supposedly onsite and doing a photospread at this very moment when he is waiting for her to come out of Puck's apartment just like a sorry fool…

Angrily, Teddy dialled the number of his intern… muttering curses under his breath as he waited for him to pick up the phone…

"Hell-"

"YOU LITTLE MORON! I thought Quinn is with Puck? How come i heard from the radio that she's busy shooting?"

"B-b-but my girlfriend who is Quinn's make up artist specifically told me that she's there a couple of hours ago…"

The intern stuttered nervously…

"What couple of hours ago? I've been here the entire time… Are you wasting my time? HUH? Are you-"

Teddy's voice trailed off as he saw movements from the doorway… A limousine was parked at the curb and the doorman was opening the doorway to a girl who was giving him a friendly wave….

A girl who looks so much like Rachel Berry who was all over the headlines just this morning… her hair wet, her face bare of makeup as she entered the car waiting for her, leaving no doubt in anyones mind that she has stayed in his apartment overnight…

Teddy looked on at the scene with mouth wide open before a wide smile makes its way across his face…

JACKPOT!

He had come to Puck's place expecting a juicy scoop but now he's getting an exclusive… He could just imagine the number of tabloids that they will be able to sell tomorrow as he grabbed his camera up and started taking pictures…

Who'd have believed that the young popular foursome has just exchanged partners and it now seems as if Rachel Berry is sleeping with Noah Puckerman who used to date Quinn Fabray who is now dating Rachel Berry's ex, Finn Hudson?

JACKPOTTTTTT!

"Hello? Hello?"

The intern shouted off from a far distance, the phone forgotten as Teddy started weaving his headline already in his head…

Teddy then picked up the phone again and there was an excitement and thrill to his voice as he spoke to his intern that was not there previously…

"Hey Bill… never mind… I LOVE YOU!"

And as Teddy shut down his phone abruptly to take even more pictures the intern can only look at his dead phone in confusion, thinking to himself how the weather and the waiting must have already driven Teddy inexplicably crazy…

AUTHORS NOTE:

_**I'm starting to think this FF would be really wordy since i need to establish scenes and i hope you don't mind reading through a lot...What do you think?**_

_**I also want to know if a lot is reading through this FF so I can determine if I'd continue with it since wordy=LOTS OF TIME so I hope you can leave a note! Thanks!**_


	8. HeroHeroine

**Hero/Heroine - Boys Like Girls**

_It's too late baby, there's no turning around__  
__I got my hands in my pocket and my head in a cloud__  
__This is how I do__  
__When I think about you__  
__I never thought that you could break me apart__  
__I keep a sinister smile and a hole in my heart__  
__You want to get inside__  
__Then you can get in line__  
__But not this time_

_Cause you caught me off guard__  
__Now I'm running and screaming_

_I feel like a hero and you are my heroine_

_I won't try to philosophize__  
__I'll just take a deep breath then I'll look in your eyes__  
__This is how I feel__  
__And it's so surreal__  
__I got a closet filled up to the brim__  
__With the ghosts of my past and their skeletons__  
__And I don't know why__  
__You'd even try__  
__But I won't lie_

_You caught me off guard__  
__Now I'm running and screaming_

_I feel like a hero and you are my heroine__  
__Do you know that your love is the sweetest sin?_

_And I feel a weakness coming on__  
__It never felt so good to be so wrong__  
__Had my heart on lockdown__  
__And then you turned me around__  
__And I'm feeling like a newborn child__  
__Every time I get a chance to see you smile__  
__It's not complicated__  
__I was so jaded_

_And you caught me off guard__  
__Now I'm running and screaming_

_I feel like a hero and you are my heroine__  
__Do you know that your love is the sweetest sin?_

_(I feel like a hero and you are my heroine)__  
__And I feel a weakness coming on__  
__It never felt so good to be so wrong__  
__Had my heart on lockdown__  
__And then you turned me around__  
__(Do you know that your love is the sweetest sin?)__  
__And I'm feeling like a newborn child__  
__Every time I get a chance to see you smile__  
__It's not complicated__  
__I was so jaded_

_(I feel like a hero and you are my heroine)__  
__And I feel a weakness coming on__  
__It never felt so good to be so wrong__  
__Had my heart on lockdown__  
__And then you turned me around__  
__(Do you know that your love is the sweetest sin?)__  
__And I'm feeling like a newborn child__  
__Every time I get a chance to see you smile__  
__It's not complicated__  
__I was so jaded_

**CHAPTER SIX**

**HERO/HEROINE**

Finn Hudson laid on his back on the black leather sofa of his living room as he bounced a football from hand to hand mindlessly…

If this were a normal night, he would be spending his free time either playing a video game or watching sports from the 55 inch LCD screen hanging on his wall… However, tonight the room was eerily quiet as Finn sat in the dark thinking back to the events that happened for that day…

Truth be told, the day had been a series of surprises after another…

First with the scandal between Rachel and Puck surfacing all over the media that has shocked him and gotten reporters stalking him and Quinn ever since they woke up that morning… And then there was the first conversation that he's ever had with Rachel over the phone after the break up which then led to her slamming the phone down on him and afterwards, resulting in the biggest fight that Quinn and him had ever had in the course of their three month old, newfound relationship…

He feels like a douchebag… and it isn't even midnight yet…

Well, despite the fact that their conversation turned into a shouting match, if he were really to be honest, It had been nice to hear Rachel's voice again…

To say that their break up was easy is definitely an understatement as he had not gotten through anything harder his entire life, well except of course, the death of his father…

Finn closed his eyes and massaged the bridge of his nose as he thought back to the months that led to today…

Leaving Rachel was definitely not the easiest decision that he's ever made in his life and it didn't just come instantly…

People normally look at him lately as a bad guy… a playboy and a womanizer and he'd rather have that than them looking at Rachel differently…

After all, It's the least he can do for her after all she's done for him…

It's not that he is completely at fault or she is or that anyone is to blame, hence, the breakup…

It was just a realization on his part that he does love her but maybe not in the kind of way that he's supposed to…

They have been together almost all their lives, and still, there always seemed to be something missing …

During the course of his childhood and most of his adulthood, Finn had not gotten close to any other woman but Rachel…

Throughout all the time that they've known each other she had been perfect…

She's become his strongest ally, his best friend, somebody that he can completely lean on…

Having had no remembrance at all of what it was like to be cared for by a mother or a sister, Rachel took on all of those roles for him and then some more… but that is also where the problem started… Finn does not want her to be his mother or friend but he wants her to be his partner… someone whom he can make decisions with or show his best side to…

Someone whom he can be responsible for and whom he can protect but how can he do that when Rachel is the one doing it all for him?

Little by little, he felt his manhood disappearing… the constant attention she gives him which used to be endearing became suffocating…

The decisiveness that he used to love when she made big decisions without consulting him now seemed so pushy…

The plans that she made for both of them that he used to regard as her being driven became such a pressure that he had to live up to everyday…

And then Quinn came…

And she was just sooooo uncomplicated…

No due dates to think of and no steamrolling him into something that he's not completely sold on…

She was just laidback and relaxed and take it a step at a time and frankly, it was fun…

Against his will he found himself relaxing more when he's with her… Looking forward to the days of being with her and counting the hours until they'd see each other again… It was also the time when Rachel was auditioning for Evita and making that big step from off Broadway to Broadway to launch her career which made him feel as if she's having a constant case of PMS …

At that time, everyday felt like walking on eggshells when he's with her and with Quinn he can just be himself…

And then one night after a game, Quinn and him decided to get coffee and the night started out fun and friendly… Both of them just innocently laughing and talking and suddenly that kiss happened…

The one which made him see fireworks…

From then on he knew… no matter what, he'd have to tell Rachel goodbye…

He'd rather break her heart and hurt her and be honest rather than continue to cheat on her and betray her…

Despite the fact that he's not completely sure if he indeed is in love with Quinn, he just has to let Rachel go and see where this will go… He knows that if he comes clean to her about that night and he promises to stay away or that it would never happen again she'd forgive him but the problem is, he can't trust himself to promise that it can't… There is an unexplicable attraction that he feels towards Quinn that is hard for him to disregard despite the fact that he cares about Rachel deeply… He can be a total cad against Rachel but if there's one thing that he can't do to her, it is to repeatedly and continuously lie…

However, things are easier said than done… even now when he's made up his bed and laid on it too, there is still a constant, niggling worry in his brain of how she's doing… He knows she's struggling and it is all he could do not to go to her and comfort her the same way that she did for him during all of those years when they were together… Not that he regards himself too highly to think that Rachel can't live without him but he knows how she is when she gets hung up on something… Rachel's life revolves around perfection and things can only be perfect for her if everything goes according to her plan and being with him forever is part of that plan… He had purposefully stayed away to give them time to get used to their new situation but at the back of his mind, he wishes that they can continue being friends in the future too… Can he be considered selfish for feeling that way and wanting it all?

But hearing the news that broke out that morning about Rachel being found at Puck's apartment threw all of his resolve to try to put distance between them out of the window… Truth be told, he felt an instant surge of jealousy when he first heard about it before it was replaced by worry… Call it chauvinistic, double standard or being greedy, but all his life Rachel only had eyes for him and truly, it sucked to see that she's moving on…

And even if he desperately tried to talk himself out of calling her up… in the end, he just found himself dialling her number and talking to her even before he can think twice about it…

"Hello?"

She answered her phone grogilly like she just woke up from sleep… Finn checked his clock and saw that it was past 10AM… she must have been extremely tired to still be in bed by that hour…

"Hello?"

She repeated… her voice with a hint of annoyance now as Finn cleared his throat and tried to still the beating of his heart before wiping his sweaty palms against his trousers and then finally speaking…

"Hey… have you seen the news? What's this about you and Puckerman dating?"

He heard his voice cracked a little… the only hint that he is quite nervous about their first conversation behind the reproaching tone that he's hiding it under… there was silence from the other end of the line for quite some time as if she hanged up the phone on him prompting Finn to press the phone closer to his ear before speaking further…

"Rach, are you there?"

He heard Rachel scoff in disbelief at the other end of the line making him breath a sigh of relief that at least she was still listening… with renewed confidence, Finn continues on with his tirade…

"Is it true that you slept over at his place? What the hell were you thinking? Do you even-"

Rachel looked at the receiver in surprise… her initial reaction one of disbelief as she let all of her anger and frustration over their break up wash over her…

"And hello to you too Finn… no how have you beens? No asking me how hellish my life had been since you left me and decided on your own that you'd walk away from me? I DON'T FREAKING BELIEVE THIS… REALLY… I don't even know how to begin talking to you… "

She paused for awhile as she takes a deep breath…

"Hell… I don't even know if I want to…"

Finn exhales in frustration… He knows that with Rachel's stubbornness this wouldn't be easy … but seriously? Noah Puckerman? Puckerone?

When he left Rachel for Quinn, he prayed that she would meet someone whom she can fall in love with… However, he did not even imagine that his prayer would bring her someone who'd toy around with her while he finds her interesting and then when everything is over, grind her heart and turn it into hamburger, which is exactly the kind of guy that Puck is…

"Dammit Rach! I've told you I'm sorry… too many times… Are you really intent on hurting me too that's why you're dating an unfeeling jackass like him?"

"Huh?"

Rachel sat up in confusion… her mind now fully awake as she listened to Finn from the other end of the line…

"ARE YOU DRUNK? What the fuck are you talking about?"

Finn sighed… enunciating his words as he spoke as if he is talking to a five year old…

"It's everywhere Rachel… wake up… a repoter took pictures of you leaving Puck's apartment yesterday…"

Rachel scrambled for her slippers as she threw the bed covers off her and swung her legs over her bed… her phone gripped tightly in her right hand as she grabbed the newspaper which her cleaning lady left on her bedstand along with her breakfast while Finn shouted "Hello" on the phone repeatedly…

Rachel's eyes widened as she saw todays entertainment headlines blaring about Noah and her spending a passionate night at his apartment, complete with a photo of her bare faced and freshly showered, smiling happily as she entered HIS limo on the front pages…

HOLY MARY MOTHER OF GOD! Her grandparents are probably turning over in their graves… WHAT THE HELL?

With a deep breath, Rachel puts the phone back in her ear …

"Hello?"

"CHRIST! WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN? Seriously Rachel… is it that too big of a blow to you when we broke up?"

"WHAT? "

Rachel's attention was diverted for a moment from the newspaper as she screamed from the other end of the line… her temper flaring immediately at Finn's tone with her…

"GODDAMIT RACH… you're not in your right frame of mind… You're crazy…"

"WHAT? you're the one who's crazy for calling me crazy just because… just because …"

Rachel waved her hands around as she tried to think of a way to save her wounded pride…

"I have moved on… RIGHT! So - so- Noah and I are da-dating, so what? Look at you with your work rule of not bringing me to official functions if there's work involved and suddenly that rule flew out the window the moment you went out with Quinn? Who said that it's only you who can hurt me? Huh?"

Finn's voice lowered….

"I broke up with you not because I want to hurt you but because I want to STOP hurting you…"

He sighed.. his voice going firmer…

"So you're really dating him huh?"

There was a note of dejection to his voice that was not there before… as if he just lost steam and had suddenly given up…

"Forget it Rach… whatever I say anyway is going to sound like a terrible excuse …Let's just talk some other time… when you're calmer…"

"Yeah … Let's! You ruthless jerk!"

And Rachel slammed the phone on him… she slumped against the bed as she stared at the dead receiver in her hand… The wheels in her head turning as realization sank in that she had just talked with Finn… IT WAS FINN… HER FINN… after three months of silence and pining for him, he has finally made the first move and called her… Is she dreaming?

Rachel almost gave a dance of joy at that… sure, they exchanged words and she was extremely annoyed but isn't it just normal because they have not really had the chance to talk yet after the break up? It was her pride acting up that's all… Sooner or later, she'd get over the anger once she's let it all out and then that would be the time that they can start all over again…

However, Finn calling her without any reason at all is a definite improvement… She knows Finn enough that there is nothing in this world that would make him call her except if he's really rattled or worried about something … And it was all thanks to the news that Noah and her are going out … An issue that she had thought of as a problem awhile back but looking at it now, seem to be a fortunate twist of fate that strengthened her resolve even more to make Finn come around by using some competition…

Too bad that Noah had totally ditched the idea right away even before considering the benefits of her plan…Things could have worked out much better if they were in partnership together… However today is an opportunity that she shouldn't miss… She might be on her own but that does not mean that it would hinder her from taking action… Puck or no Puck she will be moving on to Plan number 2 and she will be acting on it today…

To hell with that dating scandal…

Now, if she could only think of a plan where she can make it appear to Finn that she's really dating Noah without being seen with Noah… hmmmm…

With a wide smile and a shrug, Rachel flung open her cabinet doors as she ran her plans through her head … Rachel lets out a chuckle as she started working at the thought of making up her entourage list … An idea that might seem ridiculous during this time but one where she had no doubt in her mind would come to fruition this same time next year, if her plans all work and Finn and her can finally get married…

_**-P&R-**_

__Puck sat with his mouth wide open in disbelief at Quinn across the table in a private room of one of their most favorite restaurants in Tribeca…

She was shoving food into her mouth like there's no tomorrow… her cheeks puffed up like a squirrel as she burrowed into the bowl of pasta that's good for two people in front of her… Her slurping and chewing the only sound heard inside the spacious room aside from the intermittent silence that hangs over the room every couple of minutes when she pauses in the middle of eating and throws malevolent stares in Noah's way … A fact that does not even seem to faze Noah as his attention remained focused solely on Quinn and towards the fact that she is eating at present like a trucker on weed who had just joined a speed eating contest…

Noah shook his head slowly as if in a daze before blurting out what is in his head…

"Are you sure you're eating or are you just intent on inhaling that whole thing?"

Quinn pauses in the middle of putting food into her mouth … She glares at Noah one more time before speaking… Her words coming out mumbled because of how full her mouth was…

"mpptf… mmmm.. ffts…smmm…."

"What?"

Noah furrowed his brow in confusion… Quinn rapidly chewing on the food inside her mouth before swallowing violently…

"I said don't think that you are out of the woods yet, mister… I am as mad as you as I am with Finn…"

Against her will, Quinn suddenly felt her eyes filling with tears… She puts the bowl down in front of her as she hurriedly rummaged through her bag for tissues… Noah's smile suddenly leaves his face as he saw Quinn crying…the teasing look that he had on awhile ago replaced by one of quiet shock as he looked at Quinn's shoulders shaking… Noah immediately stands up to scoot over beside her…He tentatively puts his arms around her shoulder as she blew her nose on a tissue…

"DAMMIT… I'm crying… "

She muttered under her breath… she dabbed at her eyes once again before looking at Noah half laughing… her eyes still filled with tears as she shrugged her shoulders…

"I'm crying… can you Fucking believe this?"

Noah embraces Quinn and hugs her close to him as he shushed him and she cries even harder… her chin resting against his shoulder as her shoulders were wracked with heavy sobs as if she would never stop…Through out all the time that he's known her, Noah has never seen Quinn cry… EVER… she went through the most trying times in her life but not once had he ever seen her cry, so seeing her like this? This is big….really big…

" Why is it that I always have to come second best Puck? Am I not worth loving at all? Why do I always have to feel as if I'm always competing with someone else?"

Noah gives out a scoff, pushing Quinn away from him as he wiped her tears away…

"Pfttt… what are you talking about? people adore you… You have fans everywhere and your every move is followed avidly by the press that's why we're hiding in this restaurant like two criminals… so how can you say that no one loves you…"

She gave a hint of a smile before speaking again…

"But none of those who matter in my life do…like Finn… or you… "

She said pitifully as she dabs at her eyes…

"Ummm… maybe you have really bad taste in men?"

Noah said jokingly in an effort to make Quinn laugh which worked because she gave a small chuckle before swatting at Noah playfully and breaking free from his embrace…

"I don't know… Lately, Finn just seems so… distant … I don't even know if he's regretting being with me or if he really feels something for me… and today, I just have to walk in on him talking so worriedly to … to… her…I just hated how sad he looked after she put the phone down on him… "

She snarled the last words as if just saying it still brings back the memories and angers her before she continues talking in a rush…

"Why does he even need to call her? He knows how hung up she is on him …it's like she has her own space in his heart that I just can't get into and I feel like a complete outsider and it's not like me to be petty and jealous and insecure but whenever I see him look at her or hear him speak about her, I feel that way… And this?"

She gestures around the room, her face full of sarcasm…

"Being stuck here is all your fault today so don't pin the blame on me…"

Noah almost laughed at that if only Quinn did not look at him as if she's about to kill him… Quinn stares at Noah for a time as if reading through him before turning around so that she was facing him head on… There was a serious expression on her face that Noah had not really seen for a long time…

"Really Puck…Tell me… It was a drunken one night stand that's why Rachel was at your house right? It's not anything serious?"

Noah rolled his eyes and threw his hands up in the air in disbelief…

"Don't tell me that even you believe that crap that was written about in the newspapers… FUCK, QUINNIE!"

Quinn looked at Noah sternly…

"It is hard not to NOT believe it Puck… they have pictures… and I was there…remember?"

She said in a voice heavily dripping with sarcasm… Quinn looked at Noah with raised eyebrows as if she is waiting for an excuse…

"IT'S A LONG STORY…"

He said defensively… his voice coming out louder than he had intended… Noah realized how guilty he's sounding and with a conscious effort he lowered his voice…

"It was all a misunderstanding and I am not dating her, okay? I have never dated her… nor am dating her or will ever date her in the future unless there's a justifiable reason, capisce? I barely even know her for goodness sake… "

Quinn's gaze remained fixed on Noah… a scornful look on her face as if she's not buying his excuses…

"WHAT?"

Noah looked on at her as if he is being victimized… Just then Quinn received a text message… She raised her index finger at Noah as if asking him to hold that thought before reading through her SMS and rolling her eyes heavenward…

"CRAP! CRAP! CRAP!"

She shouted out as she stomped her feet…

"I totally forgot about that whole cosmetic campaign that I'm supposed to shoot today and I need to be in make up in like thirty minutes…"

She muttered several more expletives under her breath before she looked upwards at Noah with a pleading expression on her face…

"Noah, can you drive me to Finn's apartment, please? I left my car parked there and I just feel like driving myself today instead of being driven around…I don't really wanna see him either so just drop me off and I'd be on my way… PLEASEEEEEE?"

Noah gave an exasperated sigh… relieved at the thought of Quinn being distracted so that she had stopped grilling him…

"FINE… grab your things and let's get going…"

Quinn gave out a winning smile before throwing her arms around Noah's neck…

"Super… I know I can always count on you… Thanks!"

Then as if remembering something Quinn gives out a pretty little pout before pushing Noah away…

"Promise me that you're telling the truth about Rachel Berry and that if you'd ever truly date her, it is only to consider what I've told you before about helping me out and not because you really like her…Promise? Hmmm?"

Noah stared at Quinn for a time before laughing out loud… too loud and forcefully actually if he'd totally be honest about it… He knows that it should be totally easy to just say Yes to Quinn's proposal at that point but he doesn't know why he found it so hard to just let that single word out without him thinking hard about it…

"Lady… how can you even ask me about that? She's not even my type… and she annoys the hell out of me… I doubt if I'd even be seeing her again…"

Quinn pouts at that even more…

"But still… you wouldn't betray what we have right? This friendship? The things that we've shared in the past? And if things get really hard you'd help me out, promise? You don't even have to explain it to me but if you are seen with her I'd just assume that you're doing it for my sake… okay?"

Noah laughs again at that…

"I'm serious…"

Noah stopped midlaugh when he looked at Quinn and saw how dead serious she was… she looked crestfallen and at a loss that he felt as if the choice is now out of his hands… Besides, there's no harm in him saying yes right? It's not as if there will be any opportunity or instance at all in his lifetime when he'd want to date Rachel willingly…

He gave a little nod as he pinched Quinn's cheek lightly, which immediately brought a smile to her face…

"Alright"

Noah said softly to which Quinn replied with so much sincerity in her words…

"Thank you … maybe we're really not meant to be lovers because you're really the bestest, best friend that I could ever wish for…I mean it…"

And with a guilty smile Noah pretended not to hear Quinn's words… not really having the heart to tell her that while she is gushing about how much of a good friend he is. he still had his fingers crossed behind his back instinctively…

_**-P&R-**_

With a groan of relief, Rachel puts down the giant box that she was carrying in front of the door of Finn's apartment as she stretched her tightly cramped back before slumping on the wall across, completely exhausted…

She is sweaty, panting and totally out of breath having just gone through a warzone just to be able to make it in front of his apartment and frankly, she thought she'd never get there…

Who would have known that her scandal with Noah would create such an impact that the basement of Finn's residential building today was absolutely teeming with reporters? She almost backed out of her plan when she saw them circling around the doorway, snooping around the guards like a pack of vultures, but she had absolutely made up her mind about what she's set out to do that not even an earthquake can prevent her from doing what she came here for…

Good thing that Finn had left her enough stuff to fill a box as big as a refrigerator that the moment she got out of her car and carried it, she was completely hidden from view that the paparazzis didn't even notice her entering the building…

Rachel fanned herself as she thought how this is a small sacrifice to pay so that she could strike while the iron is hot… Her plan is really all about timing and that fake scandal with Noah had really given her leverage seeing how rattled Finn is about this development and what better way to aggravete it further than to make a statement that everything's over between them by returning everything that he has ever given her…

It might come across to some as an exorcism or a sign that she's moving on from Finn but to Rachel it is really more of an underhanded way of trying to remind Finn of all the happy moments that they shared and everything that they went through…

There were the cat calendars that she made him so that he would remember all their dates…The opera tickets for Aida where she cried so much at the ending that Finn gave her his first kiss unexpectedly because he found that so endearing… then there was the necklace that he gave her when he told her that she was a star and that she'd go places… and there were endless other things big and small, like coffee mugs and pillows and shirts and books and letters that thinking about it now symbolizes all of the things that they went through together…

Funny how the box that contains all of these now, seems so gigantic but to Rachel it is but a miniscule part of all the things that they have shared… It should have only just taken her about two hours max to pack all of these stuff since she has kept it mostly in

one place in her house, but in reality, it took almost triple that amount of time for her to arrange it altogether since looking at some of it still envelopes her in so much sadness that she just had to pause and stop to be able to get herself back together… She can only hope and pray that looking through it later would have the same effect on Finn as it had on her…

With a sigh, Rachel dusted off the seat of her pants to leave but had just taken almost just about two steps when she remembered something… As if in a dilemma whether or not she should continue with what she's thinking, Rachel took two steps back towards Finn's apartment and stood in front of his door chewing on her lips while staring at his door's keypad… Did he change his password? Is it still their anniversary? Should she even dare try?

With trembling hands Rachel punched in the numbers slowly and was rewarded with the sound of the door opening after a few seconds… A grin makes its way across her face as she thought how Finn has retained their anniversary as his passcode and she knows that she shouldn't read too much into it but it felt like she had scored one point of victory…

Tentatively, Rachel extended her neck inside the door…The entire apartment was dark and empty just as she thought…With renewed confidence, Rachel took a cautious step inside the apartment feeling like a complete stalker but also making a pact to herself that she'd only be a couple of minutes inside the house ..

There was not much that changed about the room… it was still as picture perfect as ever… Looking quite unlived in, in fact and appearing more like a showcase for an interior design exhibit for the most beautiful modern homes in Manhattan…

The house appeared sterile… with its uncluttered feel and earth colored tones, it was no nonsense, modern and chic… Rachel walked towards the black grand piano standing in one corner of the room… She started pressing random keys one at a time and as it gave out a melodic tinkle, she let out a sad smile as she remembered numerous times in the past when they would sing together and circle that same old piano all the while while making eyes at each other…

Rachel continued exploring… Everything seemed familiar and yet it was different… There are new clothes in his closet that she don't recognize anymore and their picture together which used to be by his bedstand is now replaced by that of Quinn's…

With a sigh, Rachel took a moment to regain her senses… She sat on his bed… caressing the sheets with her hands as she remembered all the Sunday mornings that they spent curled up in bed…She thought she was through being lonely but being here makes her even sadder…

Suddenly Rachel's thoughts were cut short by the sound of the door opening… With a panicked expression on her face, Rachel whirled around the room like a deer caught in headlights as someone else entered the apartment…

Fuck! She can't be caught inside Finn's house like this… And what if it's Quinn? She can never show her face in public again if it really was her…

With a muffled scream, Rachel dove under the bed… After a couple of minutes, which totally felt like hours, she saw two thick ankles make its way into her line of vision … Judging from the way she panted while hoisting the box she left in the doorway and the way she shuffled her feet, it was Finn's housekeeper …

Thinking fast, Rachel started crawling on all fours going towards the door… her butt sticking up in the air as she moved forward like the hounds of hell were at her heels while taking cover behind Finn's furnitures… Coming closer to the door, she almost stopped breathing as she thought that the housekeeper had found her, crouched behind his foyer's entry table… With eyes tightly shut and curling herself into a ball, Rachel waits with trepidation for the moment when she'd ask what she's doing there, but it turned out that she only left her bag from behind the chair were she was hiding at and she didn't actually see her…

With a sigh of relief, Rachel opens the door quietly to make her way outside… The moment her feet hits the hallway, she makes a quick run towards the elevator clutching her hand to her chest as if she's just gone through something so physical…

WHAT THE HELL IS SHE THINKING? DOES SHE HAVE A DEATH WISH OR SOMETHING? Is she wishing that somehow Finn would find her waiting for him there and then would be somewhat taken over by his great love for her that he would wish she'd never leave? Well, perhaps subconsciously that's really what she wanted…However, the arrival of a complete stranger served as a wake up call to her that if things had really gone on as she had imagined…Well… it would probably have leaned more towards embarassing than romantic…

Rachel averted her gaze and lowered her head going outside the elevators… there were still reporters milling around the entrance and she tugged on her bonnet so as to appear even more inconspicuous… Good thing she had the good sense to park near the entrance so that she can just get into her car and get out of here… No hassles, no drama…That is... if only her car is still in the place where she left it...

JEEBUS HAVE FREAKING MERCY! Where the hell is her car? Is her life really a series of one crazy misfortune over another? What good sense is she talking about when like a moron, she parked into the handicapped space and now her car has been towed… so how the hell is she supposed to get out of here?

Rachel felt like crying but even before she can wallow in self pity and bawl her eyes out, she saw two more news truck pull up and in her mind she knows, she's royally screwed…

Once again, Rachel found herself crawling around in the basement to keep herself hidden from the dozen or so reporters milling about in the doorway… Christ…with all the time she spent today on her hands and her feet, she might as well have entered a day of training for Military service…

Finding a good spot to hide in between a parked Mercedes Benz and a Lincoln Navigator, Rachel crouched low as she peeked at the melee of reporters gathered near the exit from the cars window…

Shit! she'd probably have to spend an entire night hiding in between the cars parked there if ever she wanted to make it out of this place unscathed… Fuck! Now what is she to do?

Rachel turned around slowly and got on all fours again to move to a more hidden area when a dark shadow suddenly blocks her vision… Rachel's heart literally slammed in her chest as she saw a pair of shoes in her line of sight and as she slowly raised her head a longggg way up to see who it was, she recognized his booming voice first even before she saw the shoe owners face…

"What the hell are you doing?"

Noah was looking down at her with a dark expression… a scornful look on his face as if he can't believe that he found her doing something idiotic once again… Rachel takes on a panicked expression and instinctively pulls him forcefully by the hand so that he can also sit down beside her… She has to keep him hidden from view even before the reporters can see him…

If she thought before that she is done with if they saw her, seeing her with Noah would be nearly catastrophic…

"DAMMIT! What do-"

Noah stammered in surprise as Rachel almost yanked his shoulders out of their sockets by forcing him to crouch beside her… Rachel shushed him… An annoyed expression on her face as she put her hands over his mouth for good measure as he looked at her in shock…

"SHHHHHHHHHH… are you trying to blow my cover? What the hell are you doing here?"

She said in an angry whisper…

Noah threw Rachel's hands away from his mouth as he spoke to her normally

"What cover? What are you talking about? I just dropped…"

"SHHHH… SHHHH!"

Rachel gestured with her hands for Noah to keep his voice down … Noah looks at her as if she had gone crazy but also follows suit as he talks to her in an exaggeratedly low voice

"dropped Quinn off to get her car… and why are we talking in whispers, hiding here like fugitives?"

Instead of answering, Rachel took a peek once again at the reporters near the exit whose numbers seem to have doubled instead of diminished… Noah looked on at Rachel with a dubious expression… an apprehensive look on his face…

"Tell me… whose car is it that you've vandalized this time?"

Rachel whipped her head around to look at Noah sarcastically… her concern over the reporters momentarily forgotten as her annoyance over Noah takes precedence

"Hahaha… very funny Puckerman… I would have laughed UPROARIOUSLY if not for the fact that I'm too busy saving my hide from the reporters outside who will mob us if they even so much have an inkling that we are hiding here together…"

At that… Noah sat up straight pushing Rachel aside as he took her place from behind the window and takes a peek at the spot where the reporters were congregating… There was a stricken expression on his face as if he can't believe how he could have gotten himself trapped into this situation that he's now into…

"SHIT! Why didn't you tell me?"

He looked on at her accusingly while Rachel puts on a fake smile… gritting her teeth as she prayed for patience so that she can deal with this obnoxious man as she replied in a singsong voice….

"Because sir, kind sir… you were too busy mocking me for me to even tell you… and besides, being a know it all, you wouldn't even let me speak before you were already making your own conclusions? Understood?"

Rachel thought she saw a hint of a smile on his face but it was only there for a second before it was replaced by displeasure so she really is not sure… Noah slumped on the floor beside her as he massaged his temples as if he is getting a headache, all the while mumbling under his breath and talking to himself…

"Why oh why, do I always get myself into trouble whenever you're around? Seriously… I think you're a curse sent unto me by one of my enemies just to make sure that they'd keep my life shorter…"

Rachel glared at Noah…

"WHAT? And who is it that keeps following me everytime? Did I even tell you that you have to sit down here beside me and for you to even bother with what I am doing? Huh? Who among the two of us is a stalker when you keep on trailing me even after I make sure that I go off by myself? Tell me!"

Noah flushed beet red at that while Rachel looked on at him smugly… in an effort to cover up his embarassment and to change the subject…. Noah peered once again at the windows and saw the reporters comfortably chitchatting..

"Looks like they wouldn't leave anytime soon… they have come here with a mission and I guess they wouldn't leave without fulfilling that mission…"

Rachel's shoulders slumped at that as she stared at Noah looking as if she's about to cry…

"Crap! Crap! Crap! What if Finn finds us here? Huh? I would die Noah, I swear, I would…"

Noah scoffs…

"Pshhh… you should have thought about that before you staked his place out like a crazy fan…besides what sort of idiot would come up with a plan like this without making sure that you have an idea on how to make a quick getaway?"

Rachel breathed in and out to calm herself before answering Noah…

"Well… I would have already been out of here if only my car was not towed away… What? Do you think I hang around parking lots like a loser just for kicks?"

Noah eyed her up and down…

"The last time I saw you in one, you seem to be definitely enjoying yourself…"

He then made stabbing motions with his hands obviously mimicking the way she attacked Finn's wheel with a nail file before giving a self satisfied grin… Rachel clenched her fists, wanting to smack him…

"How matured of you…"

She batted her eyelashes at him while clapping sarcastically…

"Well, since Quinn is nowhere around, I presume that you were already able to do what you came here for, so what are you still doing here? Besides how were you able to make it past the reporters without you seeing them and them not seeing you?"

Noah gave a shrug…

"Simple… I always park in places they would look at the least and where I can escape easily in case something like this happens…"

He arrogantly motioned towards a hidden corner of the basement which also serves as an entrance for delivery service… Rachel looks at him with mouth wide open…

"Yeah… Way better than parking your car in a towaway zone ain't it? Common sense… that's what we call it.."

He said sarcastically, pointing at Rachel before giving her a wink…

Rachel felt her temper rise to the top of her head… With the pressure she's feeling over the reporters and Noah mocking her at every chance he gets… she had already reached her limit and even before she can think twice about it… Rachel was shooting up to her full height as she stood up, looking down at a sitting Noah while screaming at the top of her lungs…

"WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM ME?… WHAT DO YOU WANT ME TO DO NOW, HUH? DID YOU REALLY JUST COME HERE TO LAUGH AT MY MISERY? YOU INSENSITIVE…"

Rachel stopped mid tirade as she looked at Noah's alarmed expression… With a start, she realized what she had just done as she swiveled her head slowly and came face to face with twenty pairs of shocked eyes zeroing in on her from a few feet away… Dejectedly, Rachel sat on her haunches… a far away look in her eyes as the consequences of her moment of unthinking rampage suddenly sank in on her…

"DAMN!"

She looked at Noah pleadingly… Trapped and with nowhere to go, Rachel remained motionless as she heard shouts of "It's Rachel Berry" fill the basement as the sound of running feet move towards their direction…

Thinking fast and with a determined look on his face, Noah addressed Rachel…

"Listen! That proposal at my apartment… the one you made about us dating? Were you serious about that?"

Rachel focused her eyes on him as she gave a timid nod…

"Are you sure you're ready to live with the consequences of that decision? If we ever decide to do it, It will just be purely business and not really for personal reasons, Got it?"

Rachel looked on at Noah with a confused expression… Noah cranes his neck and saw the reporters coming from all directions as they made their way like a stampeding herd towards them…

"CRAP! Do you trust me Rachel? Do you? The moment I do this… this is it for us… you understand? we have to stick by it… "

Tentatively, Rachel gives another nod even if she had no inkling what the hell Noah is talking about…

"Then Let's run…"

And without another word, Noah's hands were clasping hers as he dragged her to her feet… both of them running as he led the way for her while fending off the cameras and microphones that were just right across their faces….

Rachel looks on at Noah as if she just met him for the first time…With the determined set of his jawline and the focused expression in his eyes while shielding both of them from the lights of the dozens of cameras sorrounding them…It was such a weird time to notice it but holy smokes… he is really, really good looking…

As the deafening shouts of the reporters rise to a crescendo, majority of whom were asking them if their being seen together is an admittance of the truth to the rumors…Noah's hands gripped hers even tighter… not letting go of her as he turned his head from time to time to make sure she's doing okay… At one point while they were running, he even gave her a smile and squeezed her hand as if to tell her everything's okay and Rachel felt herself shiver as if someone had just electrified her…

Noah shoves Rachel inside his car as he took the drivers seat to get them out of there… all the while muttering expletives under his breath while the reporters pound at the windows of his car and his windshield like flesh eating zombies out of a B movie

And as Noah revved the engine and reversed the car to get them out of there like some action star, Rachel looks at him from underneath her lashes and clutched her chest as she felt her heart racing…

It must be running that's all… that was quite a distance and getting away from those throngs of reporters was no joke… However, as Rachel looked on at Noah who still has his gaze fixed straight ahead, she felt a stirring within her heart that seem to tell her to prepare herself because at that very moment it seems like she had just gotten herself into even more trouble than that which she's bargained for…

**AUTHORS NOTE:**

_**So what do you think of this chapter? :) There will be more Puckleberry, hijinks and romance to look forward to in the succeeding ones…**_

_**Your comments make my day so keep em coming... Please, please, please leave a review… I'd love to hear from you**_


	9. I Hope I Don't Fall In Love with You

**I HOPE I DON'T FALL IN LOVE WITH YOU - TOM WAITS**

_Well I hope that I don't fall in love with you_

_'Cause falling in love just makes me blue,_

_Well the music plays and you display your heart for me to see,_

_I had a beer and now I hear you calling out for me_

_And I hope that I don't fall in love with you._

_Well the room is crowded, there's people everywhere_

_And I wonder, should I offer you a chair?_

_Well if you sit down with this old clown, take that frown and break it,_

_Before the evening's gone away, I think that we could make it,_

_And I hope that I don't fall in love with you._

_I can see that you are lonesome just like me, and it being late,_

_You'd like some some company,_

_Well I've had two, I look at you, and you look back at me,_

_The guy you're with has up and split, the chair next to you's free,_

_And I hope that you don't fall in love with me._

_And I hope that you don't fall in love with me._

_Now it's closing time, the music's fading out_

_Last call for drinks, I'll have another stout._

_Turn around to look at you, you're nowhere to be found,_

_I search the place for your lost face, guess I'll have another round_

_And I think that I just fell in love with you._

CHAPTER SEVEN

**I hope I don't fall in love with you**

To say that the drive going towards Rachel's house was awkward was an understatement at the very least…

The moment that they have made it through the exit of Finn's apartment complex and driven away from the place, Noah and her have not exchanged one word eversince except for him asking her where she lives…

The car was eerily silent… The only sound coming from the light drizzle dropping on the car from outside and the swishing of the windshield wipers as they work overtime to clear Noah's view… He could have been all alone as he sat relaxed and silent in the drivers seat… His quietness an even more effective tool in barricading himself against Rachel's intrusive questions rather than if he had told her directly to keep her thoughts to herself and not talk to him…

Rachel sat on the seat beside him… Her gaze fixed on her lap and on her hands which she had placed there clasped primly… Pretending to swat away at a non-existent piece of stray hair that is supposed to be bothering her, Rachel looked on at Noah shyly… he had his eyes straight ahead… his hands steady on the steering wheel as he made a left turn and put the car in second gear…

Mustering up her courage, Rachel clears her throat and decides to break the silence…

"Ummm.…"

Her introduction was met with dead air… as if he hasn't even heard her… Rachel trudges on… if he can't pretend not to hear a thing that she's saying to him, then she can also pretend that he is listening to her and that it's okay for her to speak…

"I-I just want to say thanks…"

They stopped at a stoplight and he finally looks at her… a quizzical expression on his face as if he does not know what she's talking about… Rachel gestures with her hands to point towards the direction where they came from…

"For getting my back there…Thank you…"

"Mmmm…"

It was the only reply he made along with a small nod, and once again he was silent…

So much for making conversation, Rachel thought while looking out her side of the window…Obviously, he's in no mood to talk and would rather keep her at arms length… How can he charm the pants off her one moment and annoy her the next…REALLY! One can never really tell what he's thinking and it's driving her nuts…

Against her will, Rachel turned to glance at him once again… He had his arms around the steering wheel, his head tilted up to the left side of his window as he waited for the lights to change… He was looking at one of the so many billboards decorating the rainfilled and congested New York Street as if utterly entranced by it…

Rachel followed his gaze and saw that what he is looking at is a billboard of Quinn modelling for a brand of ice cream… In it, her mouth was wide open in a smile as she winked saucily at the camera… a type of cute gesture that would surely win mens hearts everywhere and which a lot of women would wish that they could pass off…

Rachel gave a grimace as she glanced in the mirror on the visor ahead of her as she tried to copy Quinn's expression covertly… Quinn looked like one of those cute Seventeen models in that picture while Rachel felt as if she appeared mentally ill… How can they wear the same expression but then have an entirely opposite effect?

With a look of dismay, Rachel makes a face before a prickling sensation as if someone was looking at her made her turn her face around to see Noah staring at her blatantly… He had a sardonic look on his face as if wondering what in the world she's once again doing…

With a shake of his head, Noah shifted gears as the light changed while Rachel on the other hand, averts her gaze as she flushed deep red…

Just her luck… of course he had to see it when she is once again making a fool out of herself… Rachel berates herself in her head for always succeeding in embarassing herself and always at a time when he's around… Just when Rachel was wishing for the ground to open up and swallow her whole, Noah's cellphone rang and Noah puts the phone on speaker to answer it…

"Hello?"

"Puck?"

"Hey… Hey… Quinnie Bear …"

As if suddenly aware that Rachel was beside him, Noah glances at her before switching from speaker mode to headset mode… Rachel followed Noah's gestures with her eyes but as if realizing what she's doing, Rachel tosses her head and puts on a nonchalant expression…

"Where are you? Were you able to get home safe?'

"Oh…. I'm driving right now Q… I can't talk very long…"

Noah glances at Rachel once again and their eyes locked for a moment… Awkwardly, Noah continues on with his conversation with Quinn stiltedly…

"Oh… I'm just on break and this is the only time I have to call… I just wanted to make sure you got home okay… I hope you didn't meet any paps by any chance… They're all over the set today and it's driving me insane…"

Once more, Noah throws a glance towards Rachel's way but she was quick to avert her eyes from him this time around…

"Oh… yeah..… I understand… I'd call you back Quinnie, okay?"

With a sigh Noah takes off his headset and continues driving… a far off expression now on his face… Rachel looks at him and clears her throat, jolting Noah out of his stupor…

"Ummm… you can turn left now on this street… "

Noah jerked his head to look at Rachel as he tried to get back to his senses…

"Here?"

Rachel nods emphatically as silence once again prevailed inside the car…

After a few seconds, Rachel opens her mouth as if to say something, but then does a double take as if thinking twice whether to really come out with it… In the end, Rachel's impulsive nature wins out as she engages Noah once again in conversation…

"Ummm… the two of you… I mean Quinn and you… you've remained to be very good friends after your break up didn't you?"

Noah looks at Rachel in surprise before answering…

"Well… when we first met, we were really good friends… it would be regretful if we didn't keep the friendship just because we ended our relationship together…"

Rachel gave a deep sigh as she looked at Noah…

"I'm envious of her…"

Noah looks on at Rachel in understanding…

"Because of Finn?"

Rachel gave a sad smile as she sat beside Noah lost in thought…

"Yeah… because of Finn…"

She then turned to look at Noah head on…

"But because of you too…"

Rachel said the words exactly just as they reached her apartment and Noah slammed on his brakes in surprise… The impact jolts both her and him out of their seats as he turned to look at her with an incredulous expression…

"WHAT?"

Rachel shrugs…

"Because you don't seem awkward at all with each other… because you can both talk to each other as if nothing has happened in the past and you can separate your role as lovers to that of being friends… If Finn and I will get back together, I don't even know if we can have the same old relationship that we had … I'm angry and sad and regretful and thankful and I'm just a mess out of all these complicated emotions that I'm worried things would never be the same…" 

She had a sad tone to her voice when she spoke but as if suddenly remembering something, she turns her head towards Noah as she looked at him with a confused expression before asking him curiously…

"Why? What did you think I was going to say?"

Noah clears his throat to mask his embarassment… arranging his expression carefully so as not to let on that he felt disappointed at the thought that his impression is not the same as that of which she is thinking, Noah puts on a nonchalant air…

"E-ex-exactly that… "

Rachel stares at Noah for a time as if disbelieving his statement… After a couple of seconds she gave a slow nod as if to say "That's it then…" Rachel then leans forward to look at her apartment building from the windshield window before looking at Noah…

"Well, this is me… "

She said with an uncomfortable chuckle just as Noah leans over her… Rachel's first thought was that he is going to kiss her and she instinctively gasps and crosses her arms over her chest… She had her eyes tightly shut but when nothing happened, she opened them slowly to find out that he was just tipping over her to open the cars door and nothing more…

Noah pauses to stare at her weirdly before completing his task… Rachel can almost read his mind… he must think once again what a simpleton she is… If this were a baseball game, then she would have already struck out and would now be making her way towards the dug out as she gets thrown out of the game while her coplayers still play the game…

Making as if she's going to get out of the car, Rachel chews on her lips as she thought of a way to broach the topic that she's been afraid to ask Noah eversince… they have left Finn's place in silence… Can she take the fact that he had saved her from the press and that he had his pictures voluntarily taken with her be a silent agreement on his part that he will now be willingly helping her with operation: Get Finn back? If so, on what terms?"

Turning her head around, Rachel addresses Noah…

"A-About what happened awhile back… I hate to-"

Rachel's eyes widened in surprise as her speech was cut short by a grumbling sound which if she is not mistaken is coming from Noah's stomach… Rachel looks at Noah questioningly as he clutched his tummy and answered defensively…

"I- I was very busy you know… with – with everything that has happened today, lunch was the furthest thing from my mind and …."

Rachel gave out a short chuckle as Noah's face turned red…

"Would you like to come up?"

She asked with genuine mirth… Noah stares at her for a time as if at a loss for words…

"UP?"

He mimicked like a dummy… Rachel laughed once again before nodding vigorously…

"Yes- Up… like to my apartment? I really can't promise you anything good but I'd try to throw together whatever I have upstairs… It's the least I can do…"

Noah averts his gaze as he started mumbling excuses… Deep inside him he's wondering why he's behaving like a virgin when in the past he would already have her bra off the moment she said up…

"Well… it might be a bother and besides it's quite late and -"

"It won't be a bother… let's just say it's my thanks for saving my behind yet again…"

She had on a genuine smile on her face… a look that Noah had not seen ever… the kind of expression that makes him want to smile back at her in return…

"Sandwich okay?"

She asked brightly… Noah looks at Rachel and gave a shrug…

"Well, I guess I can spare the time…."

"Great…"

And as he parked his car and they rode the elevator going towards Rachel's home, there is an anticipation building inside Noah's stomach which he attributed to plain nerves… The kind that makes his heart race and his hands shake that when Rachel turned to smile at him fleetingly once again, he smiled back at her genuinely too for the first time ever since the two of them first met…

Noah sat in Rachel's living room by himself… nursing a glass of orange juice and shaking his knees while Rachel busies herself in the kitchen, cooking …

Feeling a little out of his element and wanting to calm his nerves for lack of anything to do, Noah gives a stretch and stands up as he puts his hands in his pockets to begin exploring Rachel's living room…

There was an old glamour Hollywood feel to Rachel's 2 floor loft which came as a surprise to Noah… He would imagine that she is the type of person who'd revel in colorful patterns or feminine interiors but in reality, she favors understated designs and muted tones except for the bright splashes of red that is seen everywhere in her entire apartment… The room is tastefully done in whites and reds and the high ceiling provides ample room for sunlight to come pouring in from the floor to ceiling windows that leads towards her balcony and mini garden… The room is pretty much like its owner… A contrast of behaviors… it was transparent but fiery, open and bright and there was an opulent air of drama that was sorrounding the room and a hint of glamour that is just a little bit hidden by the rooms seemingly low maintenance interiors… …

Noah gave a slight chuckle as he once again thought how Rachel is THAT transparent that just a two minute tour of her house would somehow give you a glimpse already of what sort of person she is… But really, who is he to speak as if he is that close to her when all throughout during the course of the time that they've known each other, he had only seen one side of her? That of the flighty,.ditzy, impulsive girl who wears her heart on her sleeves and if he were to be honest, he really would love to know what drives her to be this passionate about such a whimsical, silly thing that to him seems so foreign such as… as… LOVE…

What does Finn have really that make girls fall all over themselves just to have a little bit of his attention? Frankly, aside from his pasty boy next door looks, he seems to be a little bit wimpy and just a little bit dimwitted in his opinion… Now, if he was a girl, he would surely be choosing someone who's more like him… A bit temperamental and badass, yes, but someone who will be aiming to please in and out of bed minus the complications…

Noah was taken aback as he checked his reflection out cockily in front of Rachel's living room mirror… IS HE BY ANY CHANCE JEALOUS? His smug expression suddenly turns to one of worry as he thought how that comparison sounded as if he IS jealous…

Noah turned to look towards the direction of the kitchen where Rachel is currently at… This is precisely the reason why he would want to keep a distance from her …

Being in close proximity with her makes him experience emotions that he had not entertained for a long time… Truth be told, he had no intentions whatsoever of helping her with her scheme when she first proposed it… in fact, he thought that that time at his apartment would be the last that he'd ever get to see her… However, who'd have thought that circumstances would make them cross paths time and time again and during moments when it is least expected?

But seeing her trapped expression when she was crouching down beside him in that dark basement just a few hours ago, he felt a stirring within him that urged him to just do anything he can to help her… And once again, he involved himself in her life without thinking… and he hates that… He hates the fact that she'd have that much emotional pull on him that he would be willing to forego his long time beliefs just so he can play the part of her knight in shining armour… that he gets suckered into situations that make him feel uncomfortable just because he went soft on her…but most of all, he hates how her impulsiveness seem to have rub off on him that he would jump into situations that he normally would not even consider without a whole lot of thinking and not without considering the consequences…

"Table's ready…"

She called out to him brightly, as she set out the dishes that she had prepared on the dining table … She was wearing an apron with little hearts on it, her face a little bit flushed from the heat of the kitchen and her hair a little loose from the ponytail that she had thrown it into… Noah looked at Rachel as if in a trance and suddenly felt breathless…

Catching himself, Noah thought to himself how this could not happen… It's just probably because he's not been with a girl for a long time that's why even somebody who's not his type is looking attractive to him and affecting his libido…

As Noah internally agrees on that conclusion, he looked at Rachel with firm resolve…His association with her would be purely business and he'd have to set terms and conditions to make sure that it would not go beyond that… He might have acted on an impulse this evening when he agreed to help her but what's done is done and one thing that he's learnt as a businessman is to not go back on his word… However, since he's the one doing this out of the goodness of his heart, he'd have to make sure that he gets the upper hand…

Just like the charities that the Puckerman group supports, Noah would consider this cause as a good deed that he has done in his lifetime and once it is over and Rachel had accomplished her mission, he would walk away from this whole business deal unscathed and life would go on as normal like it was before the day Rachel and him figured in each others lives…

Noah set down his spoon and leaned against his seat, fully stuffed from the meal that Rachel has just prepared… She said that she would just throw together a sandwich but Noah was pleasantly surprised to note when he first saw the table that she also took the time to make a salad and fry an omelet to complete the course…

Noah looked at Rachel curiously… cocking his head to one side as he tried to read through her… She took a swig from her wine glass and wiped her cheek consciously, thinking perhaps that he was looking at her because she had something on her face but that did not seem to be the case…

As Noah continued to gaze at her, Rachel grows more and more self conscious and she laughs nervously as she addresses Noah…

"What?"

Noah leans on the table towards her, a serious expression on his face…

"So this is a revelation… "

"What is?"

Rachel asked curiously…

"This side to you… I never thought that you are the type who's domesticated…"

Rachel laughs again at that…bowing her head shyly…

"I really want to be a good housewife to Finn some day so I really tried my best to learn the basics early on… Finn always said that he'd want a hands on-"

Noah leaned back again against his seat in the middle of Rachel's sentence… a disapproving look on his face as he seem to have lost interest already in whatever it is that she is saying…

"Wh-what?"

Rachel catches on that Noah's interest seemed to have wandered off as she spoke…

Nervously, she replayed what she's said in her head, thinking if she might have said anything offensive to make him suddenly switch from his previously lighthearted mood to this ominous face that he is now wearing…

Once again, Noah stares intently at Rachel…

"You know what? You're not really that bad… I think you're attractive in your own way and you seem to be fairly accomplished by yourself… you might seem a little clumsy at times and sometimes you tend to act foolish but over all I think you're still a pretty smart girl…"

Rachel's brows furrowed in confusion as she thanked Noah… His words seem to be a compliment but the tone of his voice feel as if he's insulting her…

"Thanks… I guess…"

She mumbled under her breath as Noah rolled his eyes in exasperation…

"What I'm trying to say is for someone as accomplished as you, you seem to be so single minded… you have a lot of things to be proud of and yet you're letting your life revolve around this silly quest to chase after Finn… Others would find it quite easy to let go, but why not you?"

Noah gave a shrug as he finished his sentence matter of factly before bringing his attention back to the dessert on his plate as if he has not said anything explosive…

Rachel felt her temper rising… she stood up from her chair and snatched Noah's plate and spoon from him, his mouth still wide open as he started protesting… …

"C'MON! I'm still eating!"

Rachel stormed off towards the kitchen sink without a word and dropped the plates there with a clatter… She stood with her back to Noah as she tried to collect herself while he closed his eyes as if asking for patience before speaking to her again…

"I'm sorry alright? It's just that everytime I see you, you always seem to get yourself stuck into all of these situations just because of him and I just feel … I just feel that no one is worth all that heartache and embarassment especially if they themselves have treated you like dirt…"

Rachel takes her apron off angrily and turns around to face Noah, her eyes blazing…

"Shut up alright? You don't even know Finn and i well enough to judge us… we have been together for seventeen years and we've known each other all our lives… How can I just let something like that go away?"

A heavy silence hung over the room after that before Noah decides to break it…

"Seventeen years is just a number… What if this is really your destiny? That you and him will not really end up together? Besides, shouldn't your first instinct be to tell me that you love him if that's the reason why you're doing all this? Why then are you suddenly just talking about the number of years that you've been together?"

Rachel bows her head against Noah's challenging words… her face flushing as she realized that there's some semblance of truth to what he's saying… She loves Finn with all her heart… really she does… but if she were to be totally honest with herself, she seem to be this desperate because she is more afraid of ending up alone than anything else… Finn had been virtually her family ever since she moved to New York and without him around her, Rachel has no one to lean on and depend on except for herself…

"I love him…"

She whispered under her breath… but even that sounded hollow to her ears…

"I love him…"

She repeated with more conviction as if she's trying to convince herself… With a sigh and in a calmer voice, Rachel addresses Noah…

"Have you ever trusted your life completely to somebody that you feel as if it will never be the same without them?"

Rachel smiled sadly, her eyes reaching out to him as for the first time ever since their break up, she began opening herself up to someone else aside from Kurt regarding her relationship with Finn…

"That is what Finn is to me Noah… We don't have families that we can rely on but all we have is each other… Others might think I'm crazy… pathetic even for being so intent on getting him back but I just have to try… That is all I can do…

There are so many things that we've planned and stuff that we wanted to do that we have not even finished yet… I just want to make sure that I didn't just give up and surrendered even before we ended the battle… Is that so bad?"

Noah looked at her tenderly… He is the complete opposite of everything that Rachel believes in and stands for and yet he feels as if he completely understands her…

"Even if it hurts?"

She nods vigorously…

"Even so… "

She paused for awhile as if deliberating whether or not to share a story with Noah before deciding to go with her instincts…

"I've always wanted to see Journey perform in concert…"

She looked at him underneath her lashes with a sheepish grin… as if she thinks he'd find that lame, but he smiles at her encouragingly instead giving her the confidence to proceed with her story…

"Ever since I was young one of my dads had been such a fan that their songs remind me of him… Finn has always promised me that we would get to see them perform live one of these days but somehow he's never gone through on that promise… "

She had a far off look on her face… looking as if she was about to cry as she perhaps relived the disappointment of promises that had never quite came true…

"If only we could do that, probably I'd say that it's all worth it… that my love had not been in vain because he loved me enough to care about things that are important to me in the same way too… And even if we part ways in the future? Even if we separate then… then I'd live my life with no regrets…because I know, I was loved the same way and probably then, only then could I move on…"

Rachel faced Noah with a wan smile … All of her anger gone as the heaviness in her chest felt relieved by sharing this part of her with him… He is a complete stranger to her and yet Rachel feels how it's weird that she seems so comfortable with him… Perhaps if they have met in different circumstances, they could be really close friends… or even lovers… a niggling voice said in Rachel's head which she immediately quelched and quieted even before she gets too ahead of herself…

"HELL! You stubborn, stubborn woman…"

Noah said half exasperatedly, half jokingly making Rachel laugh…

"You should just go along with my mantra and go through life never expecting anything from anyone…"

He said casually as Rachel laughs once again but stops midway as she sees Noah's serious expression…

"REALLY? FOR REAL? You believe that?"

Rachel asks disbelievingly as Noah nods with a straight face…

"You know why people get hurt a lot of times in relationships? It's because they come into it with a list of things they'd want to fulfill or things that they'd want to happen…"

Noah pauses to look at Rachel

"And when it doesn't, they build resentment and then you say next time… it's gonna happen and then you expect more and the more you get disappointed… really… it's a vicious cycle…"

Rachel walks over back to the dining table as she sat across Noah…

"But to truly feel love is to open ourselves to the negative and positive… to grieve and to feel joy and to be sad and elated… Haven't you felt that yet? To have loved someone so much that you're inspired to do things that you think you could have never done before rather than not trying at all?"

Noah shook his head…

"I don't know about that… I have never been in love before… "

He said coldly, seemingly putting an end to that topic…

"However, I hope that is not a factor that would stop me from helping you… I would be posing as your boyfriend for your own purposes but that's it… to me, it is all business…so let's strike a deal… "

Rachel looked at Noah in shock… a smile spreading across her face as she realized what it is that he's saying…

"YOU'D REALLY HELP ME OUT? YOU SURE?"

"Well, since photos of us will be all over the papers tomorrow, so, what the heck… Three months and that's it… if by that time, Finn still does not seem to be falling into your scheme, I'm out of it …Understood?"

Noah addresses Rachel in a lecturing tone but she seem to now be lost in a world of her own as she began jumping up and down from where she's seated…

"WHOA, Noah Puckerman, I didn't know you have this side to you… Thank you… this really means a lot to me…"

Noah looks at Rachel's excited expression and talks to her sternly…

"Don't fall in love with me okay?"

Noah wagged her fingers at Rachel in warning but she thought it was a joke making her laugh even harder …

"I'M NOT JOKING!"

Rachel's response was to wrap her arms around Noah's neck in a hug, surprising him at first as he sat wide eyed in shock while Rachel instinctively throws herself at him… It might be her enthusiasm or the excitement she's feeling over his agreement but before long, Noah felt himself smiling widely too as she hugged him even tighter…

Meanwhile, in Quinn's photoshoot, she sat by herself in her trailer… a lonely expression on her face as she looked through photos of Finn in her handyphone before giving a sigh as she keeps waiting for his phonecall that never came…

Quinn looks at her expression in the mirror as she pasted a smile on her face…. Leaning over, she traced the shape of her smile before pausing midway with a sad expression…

"Quinn … breaks over…"

She turned her head around to answer her agent…

"I'd be right out… "

Straightening herself up, Quinn pasted a smile on her face once again but it doesn't quite reach her eyes… closing her eyes as if summoning all her courage, Quinn squares her shoulders and leaves the room… leaving her handyphone behind on her desk, unattended and forgotten as if it is an embodiment of herself and the feelings that she is now feeling…

On the other hand, Finn is sitting by himself in his bedroom with Rachel's box opened at his feet… memories of their past now strewn all over his room making him remember the days they've spent together…

Finn looks at Quinn's picture on his bedside pensively before picking up a teddy bear that Rachel had given him for their anniversary that year beside him…

A whimsical smile spreads on his lips as he remembered how Rachel was so busy at that time with her rehearsals and how they had had a major fight the day before… She made it up however the following day by serving him breakfast in bed complete with that teddy bear and that letter…

Sadly, she only managed to drop off the breakfast but not really spend the day with him because she had other priorities in mind…

With a sigh, Finn regretfully wondered what could have happened if the situation was different back then… Finn lies down on the bed, closes his eyes while putting the bear against his chest…

Back in Rachel's apartment, an uncomfortable silence descends upon Rachel and Noah as it suddenly sank in on Rachel how she is seemingly so forward by initiating skinship with Noah… Noah on the other hand thought how it is inappropriate for them to be this close since everything is supposed to be makebelieve and nothing more…

With both of their cheeks turning red, Rachel stands up to put some distance between Noah and her… her gaze not meeting his at all as Noah stands up jerkily from where he's seated pretending that nothing was amiss…

"Well… it's kinda late… so i.. . I … guess I have to go…"

Rachel nods readily in agreement…

"I-I'd walk you to the door…"

As they walk the distance from Rachel's dining room to her doorway, both of them are highly aware of each others presence… their senses heightened and sensitive to the feel of each other as their hands brush together with every step that they take…

Once they reach the door, Rachel turns towards Noah… a curious expression on her face as she asked him a question…

"What made you change your mind? About helping me… I mean…"

With a small smile and a seldom seen kindness in his eyes, Noah answers her…

"Because it seemed to me as if you needed someone… you seemed to be lost and alone and I was just there to save you at the right time I guess…"

Rachel knew that Noah meant his words literally but somehow it struck a chord inside her that made her want to cry…

Why is it that he's only talking about their situation awhile back but it feels to her as if he was talking about her life eversince Finn abandoned her?

Leaning forward towards her… Noah placed the softest of kisses against her cheek as he whispered in her ear…

"Goodnight babe…" 

Rachel whipped her head up to look at him in speechless shock… it was a move that she was not expecting and she felt her heart racing as if it wanted to leap out of her chest…

Smiling confidently, Noah winks at Rachel sassily…

"We'd be playing a role, wouldn't we? Don't you think we should take every opportunity to get all the practice we can get?"

With a handsome salute, Noah exits her apartment and closes the door on Rachel who is still frozen in shock…

Like a wound up doll, Rachel turns around slowly to lean her back against her closed door as she fanned herself vigorously…

What the heck has she gotten herself into? Heaven help her if this decision would be a leap from the frying pan into the fire…

Noah Puckerman is a man whom she had not planned for…not even once in her entire lifetime… And if ever something happens that she is not ready for? Well, for the first time in her life she would not know what to do as for the first time ever, Rachel admitted to herself that there are just some things that she do not have answers for…

**AUTHORS NOTE:**

_**Your comments make my day so please, please leave one!**__****_

_**Spread the love for this FF!**_


	10. Falling in Love At a Coffee Shop

**FALLING IN LOVE AT A COFFEE SHOP - LANDON PIGG**

_I think that possibly_

_Maybe I'm falling for you_

_Yes There's a chance that I've fallen quite hard over you_

_I've seen the paths that your eyes wander down_

_I want to come too _

_I think that possibly_

_Maybe I'm falling for you_

_No one understands me quite like you do_

_Through all of the shadowy corners of me _

_I never knew just what it was about this old coffee shop I love so much_

_All of the while I never knew _

_I never knew just what it was about this old coffee shop I love so much_

_All of the while I never knew _

_I think that possibly_

_Maybe I'm falling for you_

_Yes there's a chance that I've fallen quite hard over you_

_I've seen the waters that make your eyes shine_

_Now I'm shining too _

_Because_

_Oh_

_Because I've fallen quite hard over you_

_If I didn't know you I'd rather not know_

_If I couldn't have you I'd rather be alone_

_I never knew just what it was about this old coffee shop I love so much_

_All of the while I never knew _

_I never knew just what it was about this old coffee shop I love so much_

_All of the while I never knew_

_All of the while_

_All of the while_

_All of the while it was you, you_

**CHAPTER EIGHT**

Unsure of her steps and with nervousness in her eyes, Rachel scanned the almost deserted floor of her gym as if looking for someone… Peeking out carefully from the door of the womens changing room and not finding what she came here for, Rachel slowly makes her way towards the main fitness area and scans the row of treadmills that right now are occupied by only four people…

With a glint of recognition in her eyes and letting off a sigh of relief, Rachel steps up to a treadmill next to the person that brought her to her otherwise seldom visited gym …

Schooling her face to have what can only be described as a downcast expression… Rachel pressed her treadmill and put the speed at one, as she began gliding on its conveyor belt before turning her face towards the person she came here to find…

"Kurt…"

She said in the humblest of voices…

Whipping his head around as if he was just aware of her presence, Kurt looked at Rachel in shock and throws what could only be called as a killer stare at her before running once again and now at a faster speed… With puppy dog eyes and a pitiful expression on her face, Rachel takes hold of Kurt's ipod earphones and takes it away from him as she whispered once again in his ear…

"My bestest, best friend…"

Without a word, Kurt slams on the stop button of his treadmill with much force, making the handful of people in the gym look their way as he gave out a shout which caused Rachel to clutch her heart in surprise at his loud voice and thunderous expression that also caused her to accidentally press on the stop button of her treadmill making it grind to a halt…

"WHATTTTTTTT!"

"What the hell, Kurt!That scared me…"

Rachel leaned back against her treadmill in fright as she whispered the words under her breath…

Rachel saw Kurt stop himself from laughing but even before she can call him out for that, he is once again staring her down with his arms crossed across his chest and with an incredulous expression on his face…

"Friend? Best Friend? Am i mistaken or have i really just heard you call me that?"

Kurt pointed to himself in an exaggerated motion making no secret of the fact that he is irritated with Rachel as he addressed her in a voice dripping with sarcasm which Rachel counteracted with a sacharrine sweet voice…

"Kurtttttttttttttttt…"

Rachel said in a whiny tone before she gave Kurt a warm kiss on his cheek…

Softening a little, Kurt averted his eyes away from Rachel to prevent himself from caving in to her tactics knowing that she had already perfected the art of knowing him exactly that he can just easily give in to her…

"But you are… My bestest, bestest friend…"

He scoffed…

"Diva! How dare you call me your friend when I have only learnt about your affair with Noah Puckerman over the newspapers? It's been four days! Four days and you have not even gotten in touch with me! I went a lot of times to your apartment and I know you're there but your doorman keeps on insisting that you went away on holiday while I was just learning about this development in your life just as the same time that the citizens of New York did… "

Kurt looks at Rachel again and Rachel looks away guiltily…

"Holiday, my ass…"

Kurt continued with his tirade…

"I'm sorry, okay? it's just that I wanted the news to die down and I would not want to speak to anyone about it because Noah also advised me not to and …"

"What did you say?"

Kurt looks at Rachel with his mouth wide open…

"I wanted the news to die do—"

"No… no… no… the one after that…"

"That Noah also advised me… AWWW! AWWW!"

Rachel cringed in pain as Kurt has already clapped his hand on her arms repeatedly even before she finished her sentence…Rachel stomped her feet as she looked on at Kurt with a wounded expression…

"WHAT THE HELL?"

"You evil, evil woman…"

Kurt mumbled… his face like that of a nagging mom who just found out that her only daughter is pregnant…

"So it means that it's true? That you're really dating Puckerman?"

Rachel chewed on her lip apprehensively before giving a slow nod… Rachel totally hates the fact that she's lying to her best friend but as Noah mentioned to her when they talked about this scheme further, the lesser people who know of the condition of their arrangement, the cleaner it would be to make a break once it's over…

Kurt squealed and threw his arms around Rachel as he jumped up and down in celebration before looking at her with an elated expression…

"Dammit Rachel! I would really hate you for a long time if not for the fact that I'm longing to hear the details… Spill…"

Kurt said excitedly… a totally interested expression on his face as Rachel tried to make up a plausible story in her head…

"Just - ummm… during the launch…"

"You got drunk didn't you?"

Rachel looks at Kurt and nods slowly…

"I knew it.. and that photo of you at his house in the papers… "

Kurt was lost in his own world… piecing together his own story in his head that Rachel used to her full advantage as she neither denied nor admitted anything…

"You went to bed with him because once again you went crazy with the alcohol and it started from there didn't it? DANGGGGGGGG… I knew something was up when the paparazzis also caught him coming from your apartment"

Kurt's eyes were as big as saucers as he gasped in what seems to be his own version of a romance movie starring Rachel and Puck…

Rachel shrugs uncomfortably as Kurt waited for her reply but even before she can say anything, Kurt's mood seemed to have changed considerably as he looked at someone over Rachel's shoulder while letting out a loud expletive under his breath…

"Shit! What is that bitch doing here?"

"Huh? Who?"

Unaware of who Kurt was talking about and confused at the sudden direction that their conversation was taking, Rachel turned around and craned her neck as she looked with interest at the newcomer whom Kurt was addressing with much hostility…

As she turned to look at the entrance coming from the locker, Rachel's smile slowly disappears from her face as she saw Quinn make her way towards the aerobics area while patting her neck daintily with a towel…

She is dressed in short cheerleader shorts with the word GLAM spelled in varsity letters across her behind while her washboard abs is exposed sexily in her racerback tank top… She had put her hair haphazardly into a bun and even before she started with her work out, she already had a rosy, natural glow about her that made her look as if she's coming to the gym for a commercial shoot instead rather than to exercise… Rachel had never felt frumpier in her life in her matching and conservative sports tracksuit as girls and guys alike turn with awe as Quinn makes her way nonchalantly across the room…

Rachel pulled down her visor lower to disguise herself as she whispered frantically to Kurt…

"Shit! What is she doing here?"

Kurt looked at her in indignation…

"Damn if I know! You think like you I also go here often? This is the first time I've ever been here in four months and I only went because I have a date next week…"

Rachel rolled her eyes in exasperation… Remembering that like her, Kurt hates exercise the most and that in the whole of New York City the two of them would belong to the list of the most unathletic persons that one can think of…

"Alright… Alright… Never mind… we have to get out of here… Now!"

Rachel crouched down in preparation for fleeing but Kurt remains where he is and does not move a muscle making Rachel look up at him as she is half bent over…

"Why do you have to be the one to avoid her when you did nothing to her?"

Rachel closed her eyes and breathed out in frustration… She had explained her situation to Kurt a number of times but it is terribly hard for her to make him understand the humiliation she feels whenever she sees Quinn…

She does not know what to say or what to do if ever she is confronted by her presence and less she makes an even bigger fool of herself, Rachel would rather put off that instance when they have to meet face to face until the time comes that she's finally ready…

"I just don't want a scene alright? I know that that time would come but not now when…"

Rachel stopped midsentence and looked in confusion as Kurt's face becomes cold and his eyebrows shot up…Aware of a prickling sensation behind her back, Rachel straightens up slowly as it dawned on her that she just can't avoid meeting Quinn any longer because it seems that fate has decided for her that that time would be now as she slowly turned around and sees Quinn's brightly smiling face behind her…

"Rachel Berry…"

She said in a soft, lilting voice while cooly disregarding the fact that Kurt was standing across from her, tapping his foot on the wooden floor like a gangster while throwing dagger looks at her…

Rachel was taken aback but quickly recovers to paste a fake smile on her face too…

Two can play at this game… if she thinks that she can intimidate her with her seemingly good graces then Rachel can march to the same band too…

"Well... well… well… if it isn't Quinn Fabray…"

Quinn gave a small chuckle, the sound permeating the room as she looked at Rachel with fascination…

"I guess there's no need for introductions… I am a fan… "

Rachel gave a polite nod and smile … if she thinks that she'd say that she is a fan too… well, she has another think coming… HA!

Quinn's smile falters, a glimpse of her bratty persona showing through the façade when Rachel didn't' return the compliment but she was all pleasant smiles the next moment once again…

"Your performance during the Tonys for Wicked was simply divine…"

Kurt gasped in indignation as Rachel felt her temper shot up… She knows that Quinn is very much aware that she didn't star at all in Wicked and if she meant to tell her that she was not a big deal in Broadway in the subtlest way possible then she earns this point but Rachel would simply not back down as she gave what she hoped what sounded like amused laughter…

"Oh… I didn't star in Wicked… I'm currently in the LEAD ROLE right now for Evita and if you're not familiar with it, then perhaps you can come to the theater one of these days and who knows, maybe I can sponsor you a couple of front row tickets?"

Take that, bitch!

Quinn's cheeks reddened, the only sign that she was affected by Rachel's underhanded jab about giving her hand me outs… Recovering fast, Quinn goes in for the kill as she once again takes the upperhand…

"It's really a surprise meeting you here… I didn't even know that we go to the same gym… I hardly see you here…"

She laughs once again as she looked Rachel up and down…

"I guess you just don't go as regularly as I do…"

She makes a face then… a sort of cute gesture that Rachel would relish erasing off her face…Quinn continues on… Anyone who's watching would think that the both of them are having a civil conversation but the underhanded barbs and remarks just continues flying furiously…

"Oh, by the way… Finn would be picking me up after class… It's been a long time between you guys… You should say hi… You are in the same yoga class as me right? I saw your name when I signed up so you can totally wait for him… "

She finished in a honeyed voice while Rachel clenched her hands into fists… Kurt takes a sip from his water bottle and coughs out…

"(cough) skank (cough)"

Quinn throws a glare in Kurt's direction as Rachel replied casually and excitedly as if Finn was just a long lost friend and that they never had anything in the past.…

"Oh yeah? That would be great! I WOULD TOTALLY LOVE TO SAY HI!"

Quinn looks at her in surprise… taken aback by her reaction as she thought she would try to avoid the situation once again…

"Oh… oh… okay then… I'd see you in class… I have to do my cardio… it was nice meeting you again…"

She said in a voice dripping with sarcasm as she turned around but quickly turns back as if remembering something…

"Umm… I heard from Noah baby… "

She gave a small chuckle as she exaggeratedly tried to correct herself as if for Rachel's sake…

"I'm sorry… Puck that you're dating… Congratulations… I hope it lasts…"

Her words were full of well wishes but her tone says otherwise… other than that, Rachel was annoyed at the fact that Quinn seems to look at her with a calculating stare as if she knows something she didn't… With one last wave… she turns to walk away as Kurt whispered in a sing song voice…

"So long HOOOOOOO…"

Once Quinn was out of sight, Rachel slumps against the wall as she fans herself vigorously… Kurt makes gagging motions with his finger towards Quinn's direction before sitting down beside Rachel…

"The nerve of that woman… I swear! If we would not just be in the papers tomorrow, I would have pulled her hair until she turns bald… Are you ok?"

Rachel looks up at Kurt, a stricken expression on her face…

"I'm screweddddddddd! I said that I'd say hi to Finn later… I swear I'm dead! Do I really have to see them together?"

Kurt turns Rachel around to face him… a stern expression on his face…

"Listen to me Berry and listen good! You can't let your pride take a beating… Pretend that you're just talking to an old friend or you found your long lost dog or something… You should not let them get the upper hand by making these sad faces that you're now making… understand?"

Rachel pouts as if she's about to cry before giving a slow nod… Kurt pumps his fists as if he's leading an army…

"You can do this... For now we have bigger problems to think of... like that darned yoga class that we have to take even if we were just supposed to sign up for it… Dang that Quinn! C'mon! Stand up and let's make her see what we're made of…"

And as Rachel brushed her pants off and proceeded to yoga class like she's marching to her death… She sends a little prayer that somehow she can make it through this afternoon with her pride intact and without making a complete and utter fool of herself when she finally meets Finn…

_**P&R**_

Grimacing as if she's in terrible pain, Rachel throws herself against the waiting room couch of their gym as she waited for Kurt…

They have just finished yoga class and Rachel felt like a fish out of water as she stumbled, fell, and basically just made an ass of herself over her unbalanced movements while Quinn breezed through the program as if she is the daughter herself of the Dalai Lama…

Flicking her wrist to check the time, Rachel bit on her lip nervously as she willed for Kurt to come out of the lockers quickly so that they can go home and make a quick escape even before Finn can arrive…

Truth is she chickened out… While watching Quinn glide and balance her way towards nirvana in class, Rachel had a realization that she does not want her first encounter with Finn in person after the break up to happen in a public place… She'd rather that they have the time alone to be together and to talk things through preferably in one of their favorite coffee shops or over a glass of wine… She also wish that It can hopefully happen at a time when she is fully limber and dolled up and not today when even her pinky finger hurts and when she's all sweaty and flushed…

Damn that Quinn! She must have goaded her to take the Yoga class because she knew exactly that she'd be like an abandoned and overly used rag doll by the time Finn arrived…With an annoyed sigh, Rachel leaned her head back against the couch while covering her face with a white towel…

She was almost nodding off to sleep when she felt someone watching her with amusement… Disoriented and confused with her eyes half closed, Rachel sat up straight as she scanned the premises for a trace of anyone whom she might know and could be looking at her … She pauses midscan as she came face to face with her audience…. Surprise keeping her silent as Finn stood just a few meters away from her…

"Hey…"

He whispered… a slight smile of amusement on his face as Rachel stood up jerkily from the couch where she was almost napping before nodding politely to him and speaking to him formally which made him smile even further…

"Good Afternoon…"

Finn looked at Rachel with amusement… a look of tenderness passing through his eyes for a moment before he masks it once again with a distant smile…

"Such formality… What are you doing here?"

Rachel rolled her eyes sarcastically… Her nervousness about meeting him momentarily dispelled as they fell into the easy banter that just comes naturally to them for the past couple of years that they've been together…

"Doing the laundry… Of course I worked out couldn't you tell?"

And as if that explanation was not enough, Rachel punctuated the remark with a groan as she pounded her aching back

Finn gave out a little chuckle… His eyes roving over her face as he realized how much he missed her now that she's right in front of him…

"It's nice seeing you… really…"

His voice was soft, full of the repressed emotions that somehow he'd not want to burden her with but he can't help himself from expressing…

Rachel's sarcastic expression softens, a moment of awkwardness pass between them as they stare at each other… both of them so familiar with the other and close enough to touch and yet at this moment it feels as if a lifetime separates them…

Quinn watches their exchange from a distance with dismay… Marching up to both of them casually, she hooks her arms around Finn's in a proprietary way that is meant to put Rachel in her place and show her her ownership of him…

"Finnie Bear!"

She shouted cutely… Finn tears his gaze away from Rachel with difficulty… an uneasy expression on his face at Quinn's public display of affection while Rachel averts her gaze away from them feeling totally like an outsider…

"So you've said Hi?"

She looked from one to the other with an innocent expression on her face…She then gave a small chuckle as she pouted cutely before leaning her head on Finn's shoulders…

"I thought you would not want to see him Rachel… you didn't even take a shower and seem to be in a hurry… It's a relief that at least everything's well that you would avoid seeing us together… I mean, stuff like this happens right? We're all adults here?"

Finn expelled his breath and closed his eyes impatiently… aware that Quinn is exaggeratedly being friendly not to be civil with Rachel but to make her uncomfortable…

This is one of the things that Finn just can't understand about Quinn… her need to always have the upper hand that sometimes she will go to great lengths just to prove a point without regard at all for anybody else's emotion…

Rachel flushed beet red as she thought of an excuse that would not make her seem like the coward or the obsessed ex lover that is still so hung up on her former boyfriend that Quinn seem to be making her out to be (even if she was, she has her pride…)

Rachel gave a haughty toss of her head to face Quinn head on but before she can even say anything, something happened that made her jaw drop in surprise…

"BABE!"

"Noah!"

"Puck?"

"Harumph…"

The four of them exclaimed differently as Noah appeared in the doorway dressed casually in a hooded shirt, aviator sunglasses and sneakers…

Rachel was open mouthed and disbelieving that he was even here, Quinn was petulant and whiny while Finn is stiff and disapproving… Only Noah's voice was bright and happy and beside him, Kurt stood with a smug expression like the cat who got the cream…

Noah moves forward and grabs on to Rachel's waist to plant a kiss on her temple with a bright smile on his face… Rachel was like a zombie in a trance as she stood unmoving… uncertain of what's happening as she stared at Noah with a wide eyed expression, her mouth wide open…

"Hey Baby… I'm sorry if I picked you up already… I know I was supposed to wait at the moviehouse but we just might miss the movie since it's getting late…"

"m-m-movie?"

Rachel asked with a dumbfounded expression…

"Yeah… Rachel! THE MOVIE… Remember?"

Kurt looked at her with a threatening expression as Rachel looked at Finn's blazing expression which seem to be locked onto Noah's hands around her waist…

"Ahhhh… Ahhhh… the movie!"

Rachel exclaimed eventhough she does not know what the hell she was talking about…

Suavely, Noah raised his head to address Quinn and Finn who are now standing like idiots in front of them…

"Hey Q!"

Noah said energetically before looking Finn up and down and offering his hands to him…

"Hudson?"

Finn disregards Noah's outstretched hands… his jaw clenching and unclenching as Noah just shrugged nonchalantly before proceeding to address Rachel again while smoothing her hair… his hands never leaving her waist as he held him close to him…

"Did you have a good time, huh? You didn't get too tired?"

He said in an intimate whisper close to her ears which made Rachel squirm… Finn looked as if he would punch Noah at any given moment while Quinn just looked confused and at a loss…

Flicking his wrist to look at his watch, Noah gave a shake of his head before turning to address Finn and Quinn once again…

"It's really nice seeing you all here.. but we have to go somewhere and we're going to be late so I hope you'd excuse us…Kurt?"

He turned to give a nod to Kurt which he repaid with a vigorous wave and a wide grin…

"PUCK!"

Quinn stomped her feet as if wanting to know what's going on but Noah only kissed her cheek lightly in reply before whispering in her ears…

"I'd give you a call okay?"

To Finn he gave a formal nod once again as Rachel felt like a puppet on string as he dragged her along by the hands towards the bank of elevators lining the hallway…

Once they were out of sight Kurt looks at Quinn triumphantly up and down before acting as if he'd hit Finn while looking at him disgustedly…

"Jerk!"

Finn looks at him pointblank… his stare a little icy which made Kurt cower a little so that he only ended up making a face at him…

With an exaggerated toss of his head, Kurt grabs his bags and leaves Quinn and Finn standing in the receiving area… Their expressions downcast and grim as Finn seethes in jealousy while Quinn feels a little threatened how Noah seem to be playing out his role towards Rachel to be too real and that's not how they have talked about it previously…

_**P&R**_

With a confused expression on her face, Rachel whipped her head around to look at Noah inside the elevator…

"CAN YOU TELL ME WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON?"

Noah stood near the elevator wall… his back pressed against the wooden panel while his hands hold on to the bar that was behind him… there was a nonchalant expression on his face… like what's happening is commonplace and ordinary but the girl beside him seem to think otherwise as she stood beside him, demanding answers…

Noah shrugged…

"Well, Kurt gave me a call… saying I had to pick you up today without explaining why… less we blow our cover, I have to play the role of a dutiful boyfriend and do as he asked… You should have told me you needed rescuing…"

He looked at Rachel teasingly… Affronted, Rachel straightens to her full height as she once again salvaged her pride in front of Noah…

"Who—Who—needed rescuing? I was doing fairly well even without you…"

Noah gave a chuckle before unwittingly ruffling Rachel's hair like she's a little girl…

Taken aback with his action… Noah snatched his hand right away while Rachel turned her back to him giddily before touching the spot where he touched her hair like a dummy as they wait in awkward silence for the elevators to open…

Rachel raises her head to look at the slowly changing lights of the elevator feeling as if they have been stuck there for an eternity when Noah breaks the silence…

"Ummm… about Quinn…"

Rachel looks at Noah's reflection from the elevator door…

"What about her?'

"I hope you won't think too harshly of her… she is just used to being the center of attention of everyone that's why she comes across as a brat… She is quite nice actually if you get to know her…"

Rachel gave a sad laugh as she turned around to face Noah…

"To you maybe … but not to me… "

Rachel looks at Noah's serious expression before speaking again in a sad tone…

"You really care about her don't you?"

Noah looked at Rachel quizically…

"Shouldn't I be? She's my best friend, I told you all about it…We've been through a lot together"

He said firmly… as if that sentence is the answer to everything… With a slow nod of understanding, Rachel acknowledges Noah's statement but it felt as if her heart squeezed just a teeny weeny bit with Noah's stand on the matter…

The elevator doors open and Rachel puts her hands in her pants pocket, her backpack slung over her shoulder making her look years younger than she really is…

"So I guess I'd see you?"

Rachel said… Her eyes having difficulty meeting that of Noah's…

"What do you mean you'd see me?"

He looks at her in confusion…

"Aren't we supposed to see a movie?"

Once again in the course of that day, Rachel found herself at a loss for words as she looked at Noah who was looking at her seriously…

"But- but - I thought that was just to help me… to -"

Noah smiled at her so sexily that Rachel almost gasped aloud at how it made her weak at the knees…

"I thought you needed no rescuing?"

He said flirtatiously… Following his hands with her stare, Noah dove inside his pockets to produce two movie tickets from within…

"Besides Kurt already wasted my day by making me come here… it would be such a waste if I should just go back to the office again… Can't you see I'm dressed for playing hooky?"

Rachel felt a fluttering within her chest… a sensation that is making her breathless and making her incoherent…

"C-car…."

She pointed towards the direction of her car before recognizing that she was in a track suit and still sweaty from her workout since she planned to just take a shower in her home instead…

"Dr-dress-"

Noah laughs at her surprise while Rachel felt miserable for sounding like a bumbling retard…

"You can leave your car here and you're okay… We're just going to a moviehouse anyway… so that's all good…"

Grabbing her hands amidst her protests, Noah laughingly pulls Rachel along with him towards his car as Rachel raised her eyes heavenwards while uttering a silent prayer to God that she wish she'll never fall in love with this man because somehow it feels as if she's already on her way there…

_**P&R**_

With trembling hands, Rachel wiped her tears away inside the darkened moviehouse…

Seemingly unaware of Noah's presence beside her, Rachel blew her nose as she cried her eyes out in compassion over the scene unfolding in front of her from the moviescreen while beside her, Noah looked at her in amusement…

Rachel thought that the outing would be in a moviehouse along with dozens of other people but it turned out that Noah rented an entire moviehouse just for the two of them while he screened the movie Notting Hill which is like Rachel's favorite movie of all time…

She doesn't even know if he knows that fact but just the fact that he had gone to great lengths to rent a moviehouse just for her already cheered her up… She can't say she's not impressed…

Rachel folded her tattered and torn tissue which was wet from her tears for the umpteenth time when suddenly Noah's hands shot out from underneath her as he gave her his handkerchief to use instead…

Rachel locked eyes with Noah for a moment… hers wet with tears while his smiling tenderly in gentle bemusement at how emotional she can get over a movie… With hesitation, Rachel nodded softly as she accepted his offer before dabbing at her eyes once again…

Just when Rachel was recovering… the screen shifted towards Rachel's most favorite part which is that of Hugh Grant's confession of his feelings for Julia Roberts during her press conference… With a gasp of excitement, Rachel grabs on to Noah's hands instinctively…

"Oh, its my favorite part!"

She exclaimed while looking straight ahead… Noah looks at her in surprise for a second before fixing his gaze on her hands clasped tightly over his…

Noah felt a wave of tenderness envelop him… a feeling that seems foreign to him but then familiar at the same time as he stared once again at this seemingly crazy girl who is now stirring emotions in him that he has not felt for a long time…

Rachel had her eyes fixed on the screen… An awestruck expression on her face as she watched Hugh Grant bare his heart in front of everyone vulnerably just to get the girl he loves… Her lips slightly moving along with the dialogue as if she had watched this scene a million times…

Noah can't tear his eyes off her… He had never once in his life met anyone like her.. someone who's ruled by her emotions so much that it takes priority over everything else in her life… Just as he thought it is foolish for her to willingly expose herself to so much pain and hurt that others take advantage of her… he also finds it quite admirable that she can live her life so fearlessly….

The movie reaches its climax … Rachel still stares at the screen fascinated while Noah watches her…

When it came to the scene where William finally confesses his feelings for Anna calling himself "a daft prick" and Anna gives out that big smile saying she'd now stay in Britain indefinitely while the first strains of She of Elvis Costello fills the moviehouse, Rachel gives Noah's hands a tight squeeze as she half laughed and half cried once again over the scene…

However, as if suddenly realizing just what she's doing, Rachel looks at Noah awkwardly and snatches her hand away…Her smile changing to an expression of awkwardness as she averted her eyes from Noah…

Noah clenches his fist lightly before rubbing his palms over his jeans… He does not really know what's happening but suddenly he feels empty… Rachel smiles at him uneasily and Noah gives a polite nod…

As the movie finishes and the lights go up, Rachel dabs at her eyes while Noah looks at her dotingly…

"Was the movie that sad?"

He jokingly asks her… Rachel laughs, a far away expression now on her face again…

"Nope… I'm not crying because it's sad… I'm crying because it's beautiful…"

Noah's eyebrows furrowed in confusion…

"You know that feeling when you feel as if love conquers all? When a lot of times you would have given up on the fight but in the end you stuck it out and then you are rewarded with something so sweet and profound that you feel as if all the heartache and pain that you went through was worth it?'

centerimg src=".com/09qblu9/63Vli9tcb/tumblr_"/center

Noah still looked puzzled and Rachel chuckled…

"You should really try falling in love…"

"Maybe I will…"

He murmured under his breath making Rachel whip her head up to stare at him… Noah smiled widely…

"Why? Is that surprising?"

Rachel shrugged as she stood up to pick her bag…

"I just can't imagine you doing it…"

"Me too…"

He said casually as they walked out of the moviehouse and once again Rachel felt that vise grip her heart….

The walk towards the car was punctuated by silence but a comfortable one… Like they've known each other for years and that it is normal for them to spend a day off like this together…

As Noah drove Rachel back to the gym to get her car, Rachel settled in the seat comfortably as she hummed the few bars of She to herself… Noah takes his eyes off momentarily from the road to stare at her, a smile on his face…

"You seem to like that song a lot…"

Rachel looks straight ahead at the dark road as that question reminded her of the very reason why the song had a special meaning to her … of a time when Finn and her were happy and in love and when she feels as if her life could never be more perfect…

It was a song that he sang to her during her 15th birthday… He painstakingly arranged the music to fit in lyrics more suited to her because he knows how much she loves it…

On the eve of her birthday, he invited her for a midnight picnic where he sang the song to her himself and ever since then, it had always been his song for her…

The ringing of Noah's phone brings Rachel out of her reverie… He spoke to the phone tersely, succintly in a matter of seconds the phone call was over and done with…

"You're really a man of few words, aren't you?"

"Huh?"

Noah turned his head to look at Rachel in surprise…

"Nothing…"

She said while shaking her head…

"The way you use your phone…it would be better to text you than to talk to you…"

Noah gave a short chuckle…

"I don't… TEXT…"

He said the word as if it was childish… something that you wouldn't catch him dead doing…

"HA! But everyone in this day and age texts already… "

Noah shook his head…

"Not me… I never found the use for it… if I need to say something, I call… Texting is for sissies…"

"Ahhhh…"

Noah looked at her and grinned…

"You seem disappointed?"

Rachel waved her hands defensively and vigorously…

"Nope… not really… just curious that's all…

Truth be told, Rachel really was disappointed… She doesn't know why but the thought of exchanging text messages with him sounds appealing to her… Rachel found that weird but thought to herself how maybe he does not have anyone that close to him to exchange messages with… the kind that you just send because you just want to say hi or ask each other how you're doing or when you just want to le the other know that you're thinking about them…

Rachel gasped as she realized where her thoughts are going into… It seems that the more she learns about Noah, the more she understands him and she knows it's presumptous of her but somehow now, she can even see herself becoming really friendly with him…

The parking garage was empty when they reached it… Rachel's car the lone occupant of the vast space as she took off her seatbelt and turned to say goodbye to Noah…

"Thanks… I had a great time…"

He nodded…

"Happy to oblige… I'm just doing my job…"

Rachel was taken aback… Pasting on a smile on her face, she nods politely to him as she gives him a gentle wave…

"I guess I'd be seeing you then…"

Noah shrugged… the moment she got out of the car, he sped off leaving Rachel standing by herself…

"JUST DOING MY JOB… JUST DOING MY JOB… PULL YOURSELF TOGETHER, BERRY!"

Rachel shouted to the empty parking lot… kicking at the space where Noah's car was at just a few moments ago… She does not know why but Noah's words seem to diminish the joy that she felt over their outing today…

Grudgingly, Rachel hoisted her bag as she walked towards the space where her car was… Fishing out her keys from the pocket of her bag… Rachel heard her cellphone beeping…

Rachel juggles her bag and her keys as she brought out her cellphone too to read her message…

_**Here goes my 1st text ever… I hope you get home safe… I had a great time… :) - Puck**_

Against her will Rachel felt a smile form on her face… the kind that goes wider and wider that it feels as if her face would split apart…

Giggling uncontrollably like a schoolgirl, Rachel skips to her car giddily … It's the smiley face that did her in…really it did…

And in that moment for the first time ever in months, Rachel went to bed peacefully with nary a thought, least of all Finn who at that time became the farthest thing ever on her mind…

**AUTHORS NOTE:**

_I firmly believe that the best part of falling in love is that stage when you are yet uncertain about your feelings for a person and yet everything he does makes you giddy...And with how everything started for Rachel and Puck in this FF, i feel as if it was double the fun letting them realize that they're falling for each other..._

_Don't you agree? :)_

_I'd love to hear your thoughts! Leave a review please and i'd really, really appreciate it!_


	11. Kissin' You

**KISSIN YOU - MIRANDA COSGROVE**

_Sparks fly it's like electricity_  
_I might die, when I forget how to breath_  
_You get closer and there's no where in this world I'd rather be_  
_Time stops like everything around me is frozen_  
_And that the night is the thieves_  
_Few moments when you open my mind to things I've never seen_

_Cuz when I'm kissing you my senses come alive_  
_Almost like the puzzle piece I've been trying to find_  
_Falls right into place you're all that it takes_  
_My doubts fade away when I'm kissing you_  
_When I'm kissing you it all starts making sense_  
_And all the questions I've been asking in my head_  
_Like are you the one should I really trust_  
_How clear it becomes when I'm kissing you_

_Past loves they never got really far_  
_Walls of pictures I've got in my heart_  
_And I promise I wouldn't do this_  
_Till I knew it was right for me_  
_But no one, no guy that I met before_  
_Could make me feel so right and secure_  
_And have you noticed I loose my focus_  
_And the world around me disappears_

_Cuz when I'm kissing you my senses come alive_  
_Almost like the puzzle piece I've been trying to find_  
_Falls right into place you're all that it takes_  
_My doubts fade away when I'm kissing you_  
_When I'm kissing you it all starts making sense_  
_And all the questions I've been asking in my head_  
_Like are you the one should I really trust_  
_How clear it becomes when I'm kissing you_

_I've never felt nothing like this_  
_You're making me open up_  
_No point in even trying to fight this_  
_It kinda feels like it's love_

_Cuz when I'm kissing you my senses come alive_  
_Almost like the puzzle piece I've been trying to find_  
_Falls right into place you're all that it takes_  
_My doubts fade away when I'm kissing you_  
_When I'm kissing you it all starts making sense_  
_And all the questions I've been asking in my head_

**CHAPTER NINE**

**KISSIN' YOU**

"YOU DID WHAT?"

It was 1 PM on a Thursday afternoon and Rachel's voice rang out inside the almost empty theater where she was rehearsing as she turned to stare at Kurt and look at him with an expression that can only be described as shock…

She was holding her sheet music in her left hand… Dressed in the costume that she's supposed to wear during the first act and a pencil the only thing holding her hair into the haphazard bun that she had thrown it into…

She was hungry, harassed and most of all panicked by the amount of lines that she still had to memorize and she definitely could make do without the news that Kurt had just brought her…

In front of her sat the culprit…Her one and only best friend who has an innocent look on his face that she knew so well…It was the look he always puts on when he knows he did something he shouldn't and he is trying his hardest to get away with it…

"How many times do I have to repeat it? Are you deaf?"

Kurt grimaced at Rachel's reaction… His hands flying immediately to wave at a passing newcomer while Rachel half sat and half stood looking at him in disbelief…

As if that was not enough, Kurt puts his right index finger on his right ear and gives it a slight jiggle emphasizing the point to Rachel with his actions about how loud she is being and how frankly, he finds her actions to be a tad exaggerated…

"Really, Rachel! What's wrong with what I did? It's not as if I was the one who wants to see Puck in that dinner party that you're throwing for Matt and his fiancee' this weekend… "

Guiltlessly, Kurt looks at Rachel before continuing with his speech…

"I was just being gracious by giving in to your guests' wishes to meet your new boyfriend… What's wrong with that?"

Rachel gave a groan as she covered her face with her hands… Seriously embarassed about this situation that Kurt had once again put her into without her knowledge and now she has to take the brunt of the consequences…

Seriously, she loves Kurt like her own brother but sometimes there are just things that he does that makes her almost want to kill him…

She knows that as her best friend, he is only concerned for her well being and that he does things which he thinks is good for her sake but sometimes that concern just really becomes burdensome especially when she wants to avoid the very person whom he had now invited for a party that she had planned and prepared for for months...

A get together for a friend who is newly engaged and who is a part of their close circle...

A close circle who also happen to be Finn's friends and whom she met because he used to be her boyfriend …

Matt is one of Finn's teammates from their college team… The first among his batch who got drafted and who made it big in the professional leagues and he also happened to be the accidental reason why Rachel was discovered as an actress… …

After all, she was virtually unknown and was only involved in college theater when Matt videotaped her and uploaded her performance on the web, a fact that had triggered the interest of an agent who contacted her and asked her to audition for a then off Broadway play and the rest was history and that is why she is who she is today…

Rachel is not particularly close to Matt but they do get along…

The dinner was planned mostly as a pleasantry for a recently engaged old acquaintance rather than a friendly get together and Rachel would have cancelled it if she only can… However, it was Kurt's idea to push through with it during the time that she was moping over her break up with Finn…

The premise of course being that Finn has already taken her heart away with him and that she can't allow him to do the same thing to friends that she got mostly because of her association with him…

So to Rachel at this moment, to invite Noah is a totally unnecessary move in her opinion…

After all, it's not really as if they were really A COUPLE that he has to be there…

"You should have asked me first! Why did you go directly to him?"

Rachel said in a voice that came out way harsher than how she intended it to be…

Kurt looked at her… a hurt expression on his face… he bows his head and burrows his face into a music sheet so his words came out muffled when he spoke…

"I'm sorry, okay? What can I do if I'm really meddlesome? I was just concerned since I have not seen you two together ever since that day he fetched you at the gym… Did the two of you have a fight?"

Taking her time before answering, Rachel stood up…

"No… we're just both busy…"

She said in a dejected voice before giving a sigh and sitting at the piano bench …

Massaging the bridge of her nose and feeling the onslaught of a headache just about to start… Rachel closed her eyes as she thought back on Kurts' question…

She really does not know what's gotten into her… She knows that she is really overreacting and that it's wrong of her to vent out her frustrations on Kurt when frankly he doesn't have a clue what's going on and he's totally innocent about what the real score is between Noah and her…

It's been a week…

One week, two days, eight hours and 48 minutes since she has last heard from Noah…

Ever since that text that he has sent her when he brought her back to the gyms parking lot, they have not gotten in touch with each other at all…

She knows that it's foolish of her to feel disappointed about the situation …

They are in a pretend relationship after all and it's not as if they're really dating…

However, the grand gestures that Noah has shown her during their past two meetings had really swept her off her feet…

Truth be told, she was hoping that those gestures would lead them to becoming closer than ever and to the acceptance of the realization that maybe, just maybe, she is harboring just the teeniest weeniest bit of a crush on him…

But the thing is she's not sure if it's really because of him or because she's on the rebound and he just happened to be there…

After all, they barely know each other and he said it himself that this is all just a business deal to him…

Besides she has a plan… she is doing all these for her plans with Finn and Noah is definitely IN NO WAY AT ALL a part of that plan…

Rachel gives out a sigh as Kurt looked at her with worry…

Yeah… right… It will take another lifetime before someone else can surpass the kind of love that she had felt with Finn… And definitely, not with someone whom she had nothing in common with at all like Noah…

Maybe, It's just because of this constant feeling of depression… this constant ache to be able to share herself with someone after years of being able to do that with somebody…

More than a lover, what she needs right now is a friend and he seems to be the only person who understands her at the moment…

Sure, Kurt is there… but with Noah, it's different… he is unbiased and neutral… Even if he thinks her plan is foolish and idiotic, he rides along with it and respects her enough to ler her have her way and he cheers her up in ways that he doesn't even know and that Kurt somehow just couldn't…

With a slight giggle, Rachel remembered how he had given her his handkerchief in that moviehouse with the most tender of expressions…

Rachel sat straight back up with a jerk and slaps her cheeks lightly to wake her up to the reality of her situation…

Noah does not believe in love… she should not read too much into this charade because the only reason why he's being charming and adorable is because he is supposed to play a role and therefore is delivering on what's asked of him…

The real Noah Puckerman is the man whom she had met in his car and in his apartment.. the no-nonsense, unfeeling, acerbic but honest jerk who is the type to love them then leave them…It's also not as if she had forgotten Finn at all that's why she's feeling this way… She had to set her priorities straight…

Dammit… what's happening to her… The reason why she got into all of these embarassing situations which was so unlike her after all was all because of how she wanted Finn back…

They spent almost an entire lifetime together…

They were almost living together…

They talked about furniture and even thought up of what would be their kids names and she is doing this because she wants that future with him…

She wants a lifetime of a secure and stable relationship which at times might be boring, mundane and everyday but which she can rely on when she needs it the most…

True, Finn might have cheated but she is partly at fault too… She took him for granted and even when she knew something was wrong, she didn't even bother asking him about it… Not when he was begging her for time or when he wanted to be heard and she just brushed him off…

Brushed him off because she's afraid that he'd realize how wrong she is for him and that somewhere out there was someone who is a far better choice…

Someone whom he'd get to like because he REALLY chose her and not just because fate and circumstance threw them together just like what happened to the two of them…

It was that insecurity that took Finn away from her… from the REAL feelings that they have built together which took her awhile to realize and already when it was too late…

What she is now setting out to do is to get that realness back because if she doesn't, then that just goes to prove that the past seven years when they were officially together had been nothing more than a joke…

So how can two "makebelieve" dates with Noah even compare? He might be there for her now but when the jig is up and he's had his fill, he'd move on…

He said it himself, he doesn't believe in love and that alone is a warning sign to Rachel that developing feelings for him is bound for doom because she is not the type to go into a relationship and then be all casual about it…

She is developing feelings for a fantasy… a make believe situation that is staged and set to make her feel exactly that way…

Besides, there's the problem of Quinn… is she foolish enough to compete with that fox, yet again?

So even before she gets herself into that fix, it is a good thing to set herself straight about this scenario as early as now…

AND THAT is the only reason why she's even thinking about these things in the first place right here and right now…

"Hey… where have you been? I've been talking here for the past 5 minutes and you're not even listening…"

"Huh?"

Rachel turned around to look at Kurt with a dazed expression… There was a look of exasperation on Kurt's face as if he is slightly running out of patience as he put his hands on his waist…

"I said… it doesn't even matter anyway… "

Kurt enunciated each word as if Rachel is a moron…

"What doesn't?"

Rachel asked in confusion… still feeling a little bit out of it as she tried to follow Kurt's line of thought quickly… Kurt gave an irritated sigh…

"About Puck coming… He said he's not sure and that he'd take a raincheck…"

There was a pregnant pause as Rachel finally assimilated what Kurt is saying…

"Oh… Oh…"

She said like an idiot before giving a forced peal of laughter …

"See? What did I tell you? Busy, busy, busy that's what we are… I told you you shouldn't have bothered… Ahhh…"

As if on a sudden mission to keep herself active, Rachel stood up and started flipping through her script and shuffling some papers as if she had a lot to do…

"Ahhhh… Thank goodness!"

And as Kurt looked at Rachel with his eyebrows raised as if he is not believing a single thing that's coming out of her mouth… Rachel can only commiserate with what her friend is feeling because deep inside her was an empty pit of disappointment that tells her how much she's pinned her hopes on seeing Noah when Kurt first told her that he had invited him…

* * *

Wiping away the sweat on her brow that caused a streak of flour to leave its mark on her cheek, Rachel stirred the batter that she's making for her banana bread more briskly as she realized that she only have one hour left until her guests come pouring in…

Behind the counter in her kitchen stool sat Kurt looking exceptionally chic in an Armani dinner jacket…

His nails perfectly manicured and every strand of his hair in place that there was no doubt in Rachel's mind that he probably spent about two days just thinking of what to wear and of putting this look together…

Kurt eyed Rachel with pity as he juggled a piece of apple from his left hand to the other while watching her…

"Rach… I told you you should have had this event catered but why do you always insist on doing things the hard way?"

Rachel opens the oven and puts her bread inside the perfectly warmed roaster…

Once that task was done, Rachel removes her apron and dusts her hands off with a sense of accomplishment…

"THERE!"

With a triumphant expression on her face, Rachel turned around to face Kurt…

" There will only be about 6 of us tonight Kurt, so it is really no big deal… besides Matt may not have had any home cooked meal for the longest time so it's really no bother… Also, that's precisely the reason why I called you here, remember? To help me out?"

With a teasing look in her eyes, Rachel stares at Kurt who now has a sheepish smile on his face while looking around at Rachel's transformed dining room…

The table setting can rival any of the five star hotels populating the Upper East side area…

Rachel had put out her best linens and best china and her house smell of cranberries and pine which were the same things that she scattered artfully in between her place settings… in the center of the dining table are pink and white roses that are artfully placed in fishbowls with pastel colored water and tealights are spread out all around her living room and dining room making the whole ambiance cozy and inviting…

Kurt rolled his eyes in exasperation as he addressed Rachel…

"What else will I help you with? How do you expect me to help when you are Broadways version of Martha freakin' Stewart? Did you call me out here just to shove it in my face that I'm useless?"

Rachel snorted in laughter at Kurt's reaction before giving a loud gasp as she remembered something…

"Oh my gosh! There's something that you really can help me out with... I asked the shopkeeper at the deli to make me some canapes for the appetizers and I forgot to pick it up…"

Kurt nods in understanding, picking up his car keys on the kitchen counter as he readily gets to his feet…

"Alright! You don't need to say anything more… Pretty yourself up as they will be here soon… I'd be back in a jiffy!"

He called out before grabbing his coat from the coat holder in the foyer…

"Thanks Kurt! I owe you one!"

Rachel shouted out her thanks as she started unbuttoning her blouse in preparation for getting to the bath…She was just on her way to her bedroom to do just that when her doorbell rang again…

Exasperatedly, Rachel walked towards her door as she talk to Kurt through the door as he must have come back for something having only gone out just a couple of minutes ago…

"WHAT? So what did you for-"

Rachel stood in shock at who she found standing outside her front door…

Dressed in a round neck, striped, brown pullover sweater with the collar of his crisp white shirt sticking out underneath and black, fitted skinny pants…Noah looked like perfection…

In his hands was a bottle of Moet tied gaily with a ribbon and as Rachel jerked her head up to look directly at him, Noah had a smile on his face that was so sexy it should have been illegal…

Astounded and flabbergasted at his sudden appearance on her doorstep, Rachel closes the door on him before leaning against it holding her hands to her chest…

Breathing deeply as if to calm herself and to convince herself that she is not just imagining him… Rachel tentatively opens the door a crack and takes a peek at Noah's confused expression before swinging the door freely…

"Is that the way that you welcome your guests?"

He asks jokingly but there was a confused expression on his face…

Like a blithering idiot, Rachel disregards his question and stutters and stammers as she asked him how he happened to be there…

"wh-when…Wh-what?.. H-how…"

With a frown, Noah looks at Rachel worriedly…

"Didn't Kurt tell you?"

"Y-you said… y-you said… you'd take a raincheck?"

Nodding slowly, Noah shrugs…

"Uh-huh… a raincheck… I didn't say I was not coming…"

Rachel nods slowly as if in a daze… after a long, pregnant pause Noah speaks up to ask her….

"Are you going to let me come in or am I only allowed up to here?"

Disregarding the butterflies in her stomach and snapping out of the dreamlike state that she suddenly found herself in, Rachel puts on her hostess game face as she got into action and gestured for Noah to come in graciously…

"WOW!"

Noah exclaimed as he entered her apartment… There was a look of dumbstruck awe on his face as he looked around the house and at Rachel's handiwork…

With an openly admiring gaze he turned around to face her…

"You did all this yourself?"

She does not know why but the way he looked at her made Rachel blush…

Scuffing her left shoe shyly against her carpeted floor and bowing her head, Rachel gave a timid nod…

Bewildered by the lack of response coming from him after a few seconds, Rachel raised her head to look at Noah who is now staring at her intently with hooded eyes…

Rachel felt her heart pounding against her chest as she stared at him…

Frozen in place as Noah took a step closer until they were standing face to face with each other…

Rachel took a deep breath as Noah leaned closer… his face almost a hairsbreadth away from her as if…As if he's about to kiss her…

Noah cups her face and Rachel closed her eyes… She felt his thumb brushing against her face and then…

"THERE!"

Rachel opens her eyes slowly at Noah's triumphant shout…

"You… you have flour on your face…"

He showed her his flour smudged index finger and Rachel could almost kick herself for thinking that he is going to kiss her…

'Tha-thanks…."

She said awkwardly as she straightened up jerkily, wanting to put as much distance between her and Noah as much as possible in that moment…

"Why don't you have a drink first and I'd just go take a shower…"

Noah's face lights up as he gave her a leering look…

"Is that an invitation?"

Rachel was taken aback… her temper rising at how she can be so easy that she is almost anticipating his kiss and now he's just making a joke out of getting physical with her like falling under her womanly charms is something that did not even cross his mind…

"HAHAHA! So funny! That's so funny, I almost forgot to laugh…"

She replied in a voice dripping with sarcasm while mock clutching her stomach… Noah looks at her in confusion…

"Hey… I was just teasing… what are you getting so riled up about? Is something wrong?"

He asked in a voice filled with concern…

Rachel felt her anger dissipating… Feeling altogether silly for her sudden outburst when it is no ones fault but hers that she is feeling that way…

"Whatever… Just help yourself to the bar…"

She mumbled before turning around as Noah called out casually behind her…

"By the way your buttons are open…"

Gasping in shock to look at her exposed chest quite instinctively… Rachel clutched her blouse closed as she whipped around to face him…

"YOU- You already saw that and you didn't tell me?"

He shrugged innocently…

"I'm telling you now…"

Groaning in frustration and stomping her feet, Rachel walks out on Noah who was left chuckling by himself as he stood in her living room…

Unbeknownst to her, once she was out of sight, Noah slumps down on her couch and takes a deep breath... Imagining kitties being killed or the famine in North Korea... anything that's horrible and devastating so that he can keep the image of Rachel's breasts and her kissable lips out of his thoughts and out of his mind…

* * *

"Wow!"

For the second time that evening, Noah heard himself uttering those words as he looked at Rachel's perfection in front of him… Like a dumbstruck fool he stood up as if in a trance to gape at her as she stood before him in her peach mini cocktail dress that showed off most of her shapely legs, her arms and decolletage as if God is really tempting him …

With his mouth wide open, Noah looked at Rachel from head to foot… at a loss for words at how beautiful she looked as she stared back at him with an amused expression…

"You look smashing…"

He mumbled like an idiot… Rachel on the other hand, can't help but smile at his reaction…

Whatever annoyance she might be feeling over him when she left him about an hour ago disappearing as he continued to look at her with a stunned expression…

"Okay! Settle down big boy!"

Kurt's shouts rang across the living room…. breaking the moment as he pushed Noah back to his seat...

However, Rachel and Noah continued to stare at each other… both of them with wide smile on their faces and lost in their own world as Kurt looked disgustedly from one of them to the other…

"UGH! Get a room, will you? I'm still here… HELLO?"

He waved his hands back and forth across Rachel's face to make his point…

Rachel brushes his hands off and gives a chuckle as Noah does the same…

As Kurt grumbles on about being a third wheel and how he should have brought his boyfriend Blaine along, the ringing of the doorbell catches their attention…

True to form to someone who does not let anything get in her way… Rachel bucks up and suddenly goes formal as she started barking orders…

"Kurt! You… check on the table setting… You…"

She pointed out to Noah, who at this point was still smiling flirtatiously at her…

"You…. Ummm… ahhh… get out of my way…"

"You heard her!"

Kurt chortled as he began pushing Noah from the back towards the kitchen amidst his protests…

With a chuckle while looking at Noah's hapless expression and a last glance at her foyer mirror, Rachel smooths her hands over her skirt and braces herself for the arrival of her guests as she opened the door... The moment that Matt and the girls entered Rachel's apartment, the room was filled with squeals and shouts of hellos as they all went forward to give Rachel a hug…

Matt was with his girlfriend Brittany who had been close to Rachel when Finn and her were in college…

She is blonde and peppy and bubbly and Rachel can't help but smile at her infectious excitement at being able to see her after all these time…

At the back was Brittany's best friend Santana who made up part of their trio and she was dragging along a tall Italian guy who at this point was still a stranger but whom Rachel thinks looked vaguely familiar…

Once the initial rounds of pleasantries had been exchanged, Santana introduces the tall, goodlooking European man to everyone… Him and Matt looked awkward amidst the gushing and nonstop chattering of the girls around them while Brittany and Santana looked comfortable with the situation as if nothing was amiss…

"Rachel… this is my fiancee' Lucio (Lu-cho)…He's a goalkeeper for the Serie A Club Milan"

The way that Santana stated Lucio's occupation was matter of fact… as if he is not one of the greatest superstars ever in the history of professional soccer…

Rachel gave out a smile as she extended her hand, a welcoming smile on her face as she introduced herself to him…

"Pleased…"

Just when she thought he was about to give her a handshake, Lucio bends over and gives Rachel's hand a kiss…

"Bouno Sera Signorina…"

Blushing and flattered beyond belief at his gallantry, Rachel brought her other hand to her chest in pleasant surprise…

Just then, Noah emerges from the kitchen… Seeing the scene unfolding in front of him, Noah suddenly clears his throat very, very loudly making almost all of them jump in surprise…

Matt, Brittany and Santana all turned to look at him… All of them observing the newcomer with curiosity while Brittany and Santana stare at him far longer than necessary, obviously liking what they see…

Just when Rachel was doing the introductions, Kurt suddenly emerges from the kitchen and all over again there was another round of squealing and screaming that happened…

Lucio and Matt once again looks discomfited while Rachel excused herself to tend to the kitchen as Noah followed her…

"I thought I was just about to bring out the smelling salts there…"

He said sarcastically as Rachel began slicing her roast beef…

"Huh?"

"Ohhhh… how chivalrous of you to kiss my hand, to greet me in a very european way that I really, really fancy…"

Noah copied Rachel's gestures awhile back exaggeratedly… Even batting his lashes repeatedly to drive home a point…

"I was not like that at all…"

She said half laughing… her voice taking on a flirtatious tone…

"Yes you were…"

He said in a stern voice but the coy smile on his face was a total contrast to that sternness…

"was not…"

She said in an almost whisper

"was too…"

And they both looked at each other and laughed…

There was an atmosphere in the evening that made the mood between her and Noah quite different… a little more relaxed… a little more comfortable… like today is a special day and it was as if they have made an unspoken truce that for once, they would not be Rachel and Noah the makebelieve couple but rather just two people who are just enjoying each others company…

It must be the effect of the candlelights or the dress that she's wearing that made Rachel think that way… like she was drunk on something even if she had not taken anything alcoholic yet…

Noah leaned against the kitchen counter… his face upturned at Rachel's bowed one while he stared intently at her making her conscious…

"What?'

She asked with a laugh…

"I just think you're really beautiful… REALLY…and I think Finn is a dick for letting you go… "

It was the sincerity in his voice that almost did her in… the dead seriousness in his voice as if he truly means the words that he said and that it's coming from the bottom of his heart…

Just when Noah was about to say something more, the kitchen doors swung open…

Rachel jumped away from Noah guiltily as her knife fell on the floor with a clatter…

"RACHHHHHHHHHHH!"

Rachel's face registered confusion, then surprise before it lit up as she recognized the tall, handsome man who entered her kitchen…

He was sooo goodlooking that one would immediately know that he is an actor …

Rachel lets out a laugh as she bounded up to the open arms of the stranger and as he hugged her so tight that he almost lifted her off her feet…

Noah glowers from a distance, his face getting darker…

The stranger brings Rachel down and pushes her a little away from him… staring at her with puppy dog eyes as he brushed her hair away from her eyes while looking at her tenderly…

"You okay, star? I heard you broke up with Finn… I can't say I'm sad to hear about it…"

He said in a totally excited voice that made Rachel laugh…

Jesse is Brittany's twin brother…

They were freshmen in college when Rachel first met him 6 years ago and he used to follow Rachel around with a lovestruck expression, swearing to himself that he'd be the one to break Rachel and Finn up causing Finn to joke that his biggest rival is a delusional, overly dramatic ham actor…

But ham actor Jesse was definitely not…

He had blonde good looks that almost border on pretty and his talent is unparalleled to none as evidenced by all the awards he has gathered as a West End actor….

However, even if that's the case, to Rachel, he'll always just be Jesse…

The guy whom she has great affection for and even if he makes other girls swoon at his feet now wherever he goes, Rachel would still remember him for being one of the few people whom she can run to for advise or for comfort whenever she needs to…

There was a sadness to Rachel's smile when Jesse brought up the topic of Finn…

Somehow seeing him here brought back memories of a time when they were happier and in a much different state than where they are now…

Brushing off the negative feelings that threatened to bring her mood down, Rachel puts on a smile on her face as she pats Jesse's face tenderly before replying…

"I didn't know you were back Stateside… I missed you… "

That last sentence brought a smile to his face that threatened to almost split it apart…

"And you're still as beautiful as I remembered Rach…"

"Ahhhh… isn't she just… Just a picture of loveliness…"

Noah called out exaggeratedly from the side, cutting Jesse's joy short as his attention shifted from Rachel to Noah …

Noah was leaning casually against Rachel's kitchen counter… an amused smile on his face as he watched them with his arms crossed across his chest as if looking at them together brings him great enjoyment…

Gracefully, Noah brings himself up to his full height and walks casually towards Rachel...

He then puts a proprietary arm around her shoulder making both Rachel and Jesse look up at him in surprise as he hugged Rachel closer…

"Aren't you going to introduce us Baby?"

There was a hard glint in his eye… a stare that seems to challenge Jesse who has his eyes fixed on Noah's arms around Rachel's shoulders…

"WHAT THE - RACH ! Who-Who is this ?"

Before Rachel can even speak, Noah was already stepping up towards Jesse and with a great look of mischief, he squeezes Rachel even closer to him…

"She didn't tell you? Your STAR?"

Noah said the word STAR in a really annoying way that made Jesse bristle…

"I'm her new boyfriend… Noah Puckerman…"

Rachel pinches Noah from the side but he merely dismisses it… on the other hand, Jesse has on a frustrated expression on his face that almost made Rachel laugh because for all the suaveness he showed awhile back... he now has a look on his face that is equivalent to that of a petulant child…

"WHAT?"

He shouted disbelievingly…

"Her boyfriend? Steady? Flame? Lover?"

Noah asked him repeatedly …

"Rings a bell?"

He asks sarcastically as Jesse stood before him as if he was challenging him…

Feeling the tension in the room, Rachel gave out a shout of laughter that sounded fake even to her…

"Ha! Ha! Ha! The roast beef is almost ready, why don't we all go to the dining room where they're all waiting?"

Jesse however is not buying it as he looked at Rachel accusingly…

"Rach! What does he mean? Who is this guy? I thought you promise me that you'd give me a chance once Finn and you are done? Are you making me jealous?"

He said cockily as Rachel pushes him towards the kitchen doorway in an attempt to evade his questions…

"There… There Jesse… I'd be right out, can you please tell Kurt? Let me just prepare this and I'd be right there…"

"But… but… "

And his protests fell on deaf ears as Rachel firmly closed the door behind him…

She pauses for a moment… her hand still on the doorknob as she took a deep breath before addressing Noah austerely…

"Is that necessary? To rile him up? He is my friend so -"

Noah scoffed…

"A friend? A friend? Are you fucking kidding me? That friend is probably a walking hard on now as he stared and leered at you so how can you call him a friend?"

Rachel does not know why but Noah's reaction somehow makes her want to smile..

He's making her feel all delicious inside as he paced around the kitchen like an agitated possessive husband while muttering soft curses under his breath...

"Fuck... It's that dress I tell you… it's too short and it's too bare and …"

He turned around to look at Rachel again who was trying to hide her smiles by biting on her lip…

Noah's stare fell on her legs and he quickly averts his gaze as the sight of it seem to make him lose his train of thought as if he was distracted all over again…

"WHY IN THE WORLD DO YOU HAVE TO WEAR THAT DRESS?"

He shouted to no one in particular with much agony…

"But you said it was pretty when I first went out wearing it…

She said mock innocently as the tips of Noah's ears reddened …

"That was… that was… I… ummm….I was the only one here to appreciate it that time… "

He grumbled under his breath… With amusement, Rachel looked on at Noah… her head tilted to the side as she replied to his query…

"And if you would have known that that would not be the case for the rest of the night, pray tell… what would you have me wear?"

"A blanket… no… a tent… No... a mumu that's what!"

Against her will, Rachel found herself doubled in laughter at Noah's serious replies…

Noah looks at her first in annoyance… then slowly, as he saw her looking at him with much mischief… her infectious laughter rubs off on him as they start laughing together…

The kitchen door banged open as Kurt entered the room… his hands on his waist like some scary principal making Rachel and Noah pause mid laugh…

"So, is this supposed to be a party for two or are you guys planning on going outside? I am running out of Italian words here… You know that the only words I've got memorized are Dolce, Gabanna and Prada…"

Rachel and Noah's eyes met halfway through Kurt's tirade and like a couple of fools, they began cracking up again… their laughter ringing in Rachel's warm kitchen, filled with the smell of her home cooking as Kurt looked at them both as if they've gone crazy…

Throwing his hands up in the air in exasperation… Kurt goes back to the living room to tend to Rachel's guests… and in that moment, at a time when she least expect it, Rachel suddenly had a realization that for the first time in months after her break up with Finn… this is the only time in her life when she can say that she is truly and genuinely happy...

* * *

As the dinner wore on and the wine flowed freely, the atmosphere around the room becomes more lively…

Jokes were passed around and laughter was shared all around the table and as this wore on, Rachel and Noah became more uninhibited…

Laid pliant by the wine, good food and good convesation, Rachel seem to be more relaxed and less rigid that by the time dessert was served, Noah and her were looking very much like a real life couple as he lay his arm loosely around her chair while Rachel touches his knee from time to time…

A fact that did not escape Jesse's notice as he became sulkier and more quiet for the rest of the evening…

He sat silent on one side… Drowning his sorrows in wine as he content himself with shooting dagger looks at Noah which only seem to amuse him to no end…

Scoffing from his side of the table…

Jesse gave a smirk as he murmured something in Italian towards Noah …(Probably something he learnt from a play that he's doing, Rachel thought, as Jesse loves to use his lines to make him appear cool even when he is out of character…)

Throwing him a pensive look… Noah disregards Jesse and takes a swig from his wine glass…

From the corner of her eye, Rachel saw Brittany throw his brother a threatening look causing him to pout and slump down his seat even further…

On the other hand, Lucio was having difficulty joining in on the conversation as he struggles to speak in English …

Suavely, Noah opens up a topic and starts talking to him in fluent Italian causing Lucio to breathe a sigh of relief and Jesse to redden in embarassment…

Finding a lull in the conversation when everyone else was seemingly preoccupied, Noah addresses Jesse in a whisper which he thought only him can hear…

"And I thought that I was the one without manners… Don't you know that calling a stranger that you've only met for the first time a bastard is quite rude…"

It was all Rachel can do not to burst out laughing as Jesse grew as red as a tomato, fully understanding that Noah had understood what he's been saying to him after all…

Once dessert had finished, everyone moved for a nightcap from the dining room to the living room…

Kurt, as always, being the life of the party, started a game of spin the bottle which was met mostly with agreement from everyone except Jesse who begged off

The game started out quite uneventfully… with the bottle landing first on Brittany who had to spell her name using her butt and then at Santana who was asked to freestyle rap…

Feeling more worry free and care free than she's ever felt in months, Rachel looked radiant as she laughed and smiled…

A fact that did not escape Noah's attention as he stole glances at her more than once throughout the night…

The bottle points towards Rachel's direction and she gave a giddy giggle… a surprised cry of "Oh…" passing her lips as she looked at her guests with apprehension…

With a mischievous glint in her eyes and whispering something to Matt that had him smiling, Brittany turned towards Rachel and Noah before calling Kurt, Santana and Lucio over to confer among themselves…

Rachel gave out a nervous laugh as Noah just gave a shrug…

Jesse now looking at the girls with mistrust as they laugh and look at Noah and Rachel's direction with covert glances…

"Cmon girls… you're not going to ask me to jump out of a building or something, right?"

She joked nervously as the group breaks up and Brittany faces the both of them with much seriousness…

"Kiss each other…"

"WHATTTTTTTT?"

"GODDAMIT BRITTANY!"

Rachel jumped up from the couch… already protesting while Jesse also got to his feet shouting before stomping out of the room petulantly…

Kurt rolled her eyes at Rachel as if she's running out of patience…

"Don't act dumb… You heard her… KISS!"

"But- but-"

Rachel stamerred… Santana eyes the two of them questioningly as if she can't comprehend what's wrong about the task that's just been given them…

"You two are not just dating right? I mean this must be something serious if you're together?"

A pregnant pause greets her question…

"You've already kissed right?"

Rachel laughs nervously as she sat down once again beside Noah… her eyes pleading for him to help her just this one last time as he tried to gauge her expression…

"D-Duh! Yes, of course!"

Rachel's voice sounded to her ears as if it's coming from far away… her heartbeat drowning out any sound in the room as she fidgeted around nervously… The girls, Matt and Lucio all stare at them with the greatest anticipation… their eyes fixated on Rachel and Noah as they wait for them to take action…

As Kurt gave a sigh of impatience, Noah scoots closer to her…

Awkwardly, he pulled her close to him in order to give her a clumsy peck beside her temples…

Rachel breathed more easily as she looked at their audience with an relieved smile…hoping against hope that that would satisfy them and get them out of this sticky situation…

Instead, that action was greeted by much booing and hissing… Santana making a face as Lucio shook his head disbelievingly…

"That's it?"

She asked in surprise…

"A kiss is supposed to show how much you feel about one another…Is that the extent of your feelings for Rachel, Noah?"

Rachel opens her mouth to protest but even before she can say anything… Noah had already turned her face towards him… his mouth pressing firmly against hers as Rachel's eyes widened in surprise, rigid with shock…

She can hear people hooting in the background but Noah's lips were weaving their magic on hers… It was as if with his mouth he had captured her very soul that everything faded away into the background… not where they were or the people around them or the warning bells ringing in her head…

She held still as he leaned in and pressed her mouth even harder against hers… He didn't kiss her fast and roughly as she would imagine a man like him would kiss but rather he lingered on her lips slowly… thoroughly… and the effect on her was devastating…

He traced the contour of her lips with his tongue before sucking her lower lip into his mouth… he tasted sweet and tart and addictive that before long Rachel was responding softly… Her hands now curled against his shirtfront as she pulled him even closer to her as she opened her mouth wider to give his tongue more access…

As if suddenly unnerved by the need that she feels for him and remembering where they were, Rachel pulls away from him…not even daring to look at Noah as she smiled weakly at her guests who were now all standing up and applauding for them wildly…

And just like that the game went on… The people in the room not even knowing that something catastrophic happened between the two people among their midst whom everyone believed to be a couple…

They really shouldn't be doing this… Rachel knows they shouldn't… She had worked long and hard to work past craving anything, but Noah is like a sweet temptation that she just couldn't resist…

A temptation that she knows she should run away from right this very minute while she still has the time and while her heart is not yet broken …

However, just for this moment… this very moment… perhaps she can put all her bets on this make believe that is slowly renewing her faith and making her believe...

This make believe that is making her believe that someday, somehow her broken heart will heal and that there will come a time that she will be fixed and ready to love once again…

* * *

_**AUTHORS NOTE:**_

How'd you like this chapter? There was a slight delay in posting as i am currently addicted to writing FinChel and Puckleberry oneshots and i have tons of ideas for it so my head is kinda buzzing... :) (If you have not checked out the others that I've posted, do check it out by clicking on my pen name and tell me what you think…)

Do let me know your thoughts... I somehow thought that this chapter is a major game changer for this story so i'd love to hear what you think... Comments are LOVE!


	12. Arms

_**Authors Note:**_

_**I have purposefully written the lyrics of the song in between the text of this chapter as i want to convey the emotion of some scenes the best through the use of the music...**_

_**I hope that you can play Christina Perri's ARMS once the prompt appear in the story because i truly believe that the song can maximize your reading experience... The song is available on youtube.**_

_**I felt my heart flutter and ache at the same time while writing this chapter since i tried to differentiate between a love that was starting and one that was ending...**_

_**I'd love to hear how you feel about this chapter and do share if ever you felt the same emotions i felt while writing this as you read through the chapter...**_

_**Enjoy! **_

* * *

**CHAPTER TEN**

**ARMS**

With a sigh of relief, Rachel closed her eyes tiredly as she leaned her head against her living room couch…

Groaning as if she can't move another muscle, she puts her stocking clad feet on top of her living room coffee table before giving out a big yawn that perfectly depicts how exhausted she's suddenly feeling…

Opening her eyes with the greatest of difficulty, Rachel surveyed the chaos that she still had to clean up which was left behind by her guests after they have left…

Well…All of them except for one who was left behind and who took time out to go to the restroom probably just to give her time to collect herself …

Thank goodness for small measures…

Ever since the kiss happened between her and Noah, the easy comfort that they have felt with each other had been compromised…

Sure, they still appeared to be friendly and at ease with each other in front of her guests but the stilted and awkward atmosphere that she was so familiar with when they first met seemed to have returned right immediately after…

The kind of tension that ruined the pleasant vibe that they've set at the start of the evening and which seemed to have brought them back to the reality that in fact, they are not anything to each other at all but partners in crime in an elaborate charade that seemed to have gotten out of hand and which seemed to have lulled them into a false sense of security for the time being…

Rachel jerked up hastily from her seat and scrambles for her shoes as she heard the slamming of her bathroom door …

Pretending as if she was busy cleaning up all along and not racking her brains about the events of the evening, she puts on a nonchalant expression before starting to pick up the glasses that were littered all over the room…

There was not a trace of worry or confusion that was present on her face just a few minutes ago but only the poised, carefree attitude of someone who had already forgotten what transpired yesterday evening between her and the man standing before her …

From a distance, Noah puts his hand in his backpocket awkwardly as he watched Rachel silently…

Pretending that she's only seen him just now, Rachel brings her head up to look at him while making sure that her expression remains neutral…

"Oh… you're there? Are you about to head home?"

She asked casually like everything was normal between them and that he didn't just ravaged her lips just a few hours ago…

Rachel's hands trembled a little as she remembered… thankfully, he didn't notice…

"Sorry…"

Rachel frowned in confusion… her eyebrows knitted together as she thought hard what he's being sorry for… Is he sorry about the kiss?

Noah gave a small chuckle…

"Sorry?"

She asked him… He rubbed the back of his neck as he looked at her sheepishly…

"For staying… Kurt can be very stubborn once he sets his mind to it…"

Rachel does not know why but she felt her heart lifting a little at the thought that he is sorry for an entirely different thing and not the kiss at all …

With genuine laughter, she rolled her eyes in exasperation… …

"Tell me about it… I should be the one saying sorry since he practically forced you to stay…"

There was a note of embarassment to Rachel's voice as he remembered how Kurt has almost steamrollered Noah into staying…

He practically forced him to stay behind amidst his and Rachel's protest citing the fact that they were such wonderful hosts that they now have to make some time for themselves…

What else could they say to that?

If only he knew…

Noah waved his hand at her…

"It's no big deal… It's cool… I swear…"

He puts up the same hand that he was just waving at her as if to show his sincerity…

Rachel nods before their eyes met for a moment…

She felt herself becoming breathless…

With much difficulty, Rachel drags her gaze away from his… fluffing up her throwpillows as she organized her living room back to its original state to keep her mind off of him and his overpowering presence…

"Ummm… you can go home now… it's late… you still have to drive a long way and…"

Rushing forward, Noah starts picking up cutlery and glasses from the room while Rachel protests…

"Ummm… I'd just help you out… there seems to be a lot to… "

"NOOOO!"

Rachel protested much too loudly as she almost jumped on him in panic…

Not wanting to bear the tension of having him alone in her house another minute, she wrestles the bread knife that he's currently holding away from him without giving much thought to what she's doing until her eyes met his chest and she suddenly became aware how close she is to him and that her hands were on his…

Their eyes met again… hers, nervous and wide… His, seductive and smoky…

Rachel bows her head and lets go of his hands immediately as if he were diseased… making sure to put some distance between them as she turned her back on him to anxiously begin straightening up again to cover up the restlessness that she's suddenlly feeling… …

"AWWW!"

Noah hollered in pain… the knife clattering to the floor as he held up his index finger…

Rachel whips her head around in concern as she saw Noah's face contorted with pain… She immediately jumps to his side with worry… all thoughts of keeping her distance forgotten as her eyes fill with care while checking his hands for any sign of injury…

"Are you okay? HUH? Are you alright?"

She asked while turning his hands around tenderly, bringing it very close to her face as she checked for injuries… She felt Noah shaking and she lifted her eyes to him… But instead of a face full of pain, Rachel saw an expression full of mirth as he lets out a chuckle…

Rachel stares at him with her mouth wide open in surprise but before long, his infectious laughter rubs off on her and she was chuckling along with him…

Throwing his hand jokingly aside, Rachel looks at him sternly…

"You think you're charming, huh? You think that's charming?"

She said in a tone that was more sweet than admonishing…

Noah covers his face with his hand before speaking…

"I just want to break the ice…we're like two polite strangers who just met each other it's driving me insane… HELL!"

He said emphatically as if he really can't stand it…

Rachel looks at him for a moment… a slight smile playing on her lips as she turned her back on him…

"And there you have it folks… charming… definitely charming…"

She muttered under her breath…

"What did you say?"

Noah asked in confusion as Rachel faced him…

"Nothing… if you really wanna help, I said just bring those glasses to the kitchen…"

Almost bounding in excitement like a newly praised puppy at this sudden turn of events, Noah picks up the rest of the dishes in the living room as he followed Rachel to the kitchen…

Rachel stood with her back to him… her hands on her waist as she surveyed the mountain of plates, pots, pans and glasses that she had to wash…

Groaning in agitation, Rachel puts on her dishwashing gloves as Noah watched with amusement…

"Can't you just leave that until your cleaning lady comes tomorrow?"

"NOPE!"

She shouted out and shudders in disgust as if the thought has never even crossed her mind…

"I can't go to sleep knowing that there are dishes left unwashed in the kitchen or that my living room is a mess…"

Noah nods his head in understanding all the while looking at her pensively…

"You're really the type who can't sit still until things go according to the way you want it, right?"

Rachel looked at Noah with a confused expression…

"Are we still talking about cleaning?"

Noah gives out a chuckle as he walked up next to Rachel in the sink…

"Nah… forget I said anything… what if you wash and I'd dry?"

Rachel stares at him doubtfully…

"YOU? Have you dried dishes before?"

He shrugged…

"Well, there's always a first time for everything… "

Rachel chewed on her lips as if she is making a major decision…

Noah marvels at this other quirk of hers… the part where she has people carefully pegged into certain stereotypes and if you don't fit then she has to think really hard about it…

Noah crosses his arms over his chest, tapping his feet on the floor as he waits for Rachel to make a decision…

"Oh what the heck!"

She throws her arms up in the air before throwing the dishtowel at him which he deftly catches…

With a wide grin on his face, Noah stood beside Rachel as she plunged her hands into the water, drying the first piece of plate that she handed to him as if his life depended on it…

They stood like that for a couple of moments… her, washing and him drying… The silence unbroken with only the gushing water and the tinkling of the utensils heard across the room… They stood with their shoulders almost touching… Each lost in their own thoughts as mechanically they worked together…

"I can't imagine you as a child… "

Rachel said unthinkingly… Unsure why she's asking Noah that question but just voicing out the first thing that came to her mind…

Noah looks at her in surprise… a glint of amusement in his eyes as she seem to just be saying things from out of the blue…

"And why is that?"

She gave a nonchalant shrug…

"I don't know… I just can't imagine you trusting someone easily… Children are supposed to believe in anything their folks tell them, right? Santa claus, the Easter Bunny, fairytales…"

She let her words trail off…

Noah raises an eyebrow at her before she continues in a whisper…

"Love?"

Noah does not answer her question but turns to her instead…

"And I bet you're the exact opposite… the kind who'd write letters to Santa Claus and wait with cookies and milk to have him come down your chimney or the kind that would leave your tooth under your pillow hoping that the tooth fairy would come in the middle of the night and turn it into a dollar… "

Rachel gave a smile at that… Remembering the countless times during her childhood when she had done exactly what he had just described…

Of times when Finn would be the one to fish out her gifts from her stockings and make such a grand gesture of acting all surprised that Santa gave her exactly what she wants or the times when she would cry about her teeth falling out but then he told her all about the tooth fairy and suddenly it was not so bad… Then there were the times when boys started liking her in school and then he'd scare them off… or that time when she thought she would flunk high school and she whined about it so much while he listened patiently to her on the other side of the phone… or of the time her parents died and he just laid beside her quietly not saying a word… putting her hands on his chest as he brushed her hair away from her face while she cried into the night and he hummed her to sleep…

Rachel felt her throat closing up…thinking to herself how all these time Finn had been there for her during those times…

But now? Now he was not… And all she had was this man beside her who was looking at her with so much curiosity and whom she can't fully trust the way that she wants to trust…

"Remember… remember how I asked you before how you should try falling in love and you said maybe you will? Do you… do you mean that?"

She asked tentatively, hesitantly… Knowing that she's walking on eggshells and that Noah is not someone who would just share his innermost thoughts and feelings with someone randomly…

To her surprise, he answered her with all sincerity…

"I hate complications Rach…"

"But… but life is not worth living without falling in love… that feeling that makes you want to die if you're not together with that person… that intense need to feel his skin on yours because you just can't get any closer… the kind that makes you go crazy and do stupid things because you want to be with him?"

Noah gave Rachel a wan smile… the kind that does not reach his eyes…

"And that's precisely the reason why we're doing this, right? Because you already found that kind of love?"

Rachel does not understand why but her answer seemed to have gotten stuck in her throat when before she would have easily said yes…

However, miscomprehending her silence as an agreement , Noah nods in understanding as he continued on…

"That kind of thinking is not for cynical people like me… it might suit somebody like you but to me, love is THE fairytale… in the beginning, it might make you feel all warm and relevant but in the end love leaves you weak, dependent and well…"

He paused for great measure as if he's finding the word to describe it…

"lonely…"

He looked at Rachel meaningfully as if to cite her case as a perfect example…

"No offense…"

"None taken…"

Rachel shook her head as she passed on one more piece of glass for him to dry…

Wanting to stop herself from saying more, Rachel deliberately keeps quiet for a couple of seconds but then bursts out in the end…

"But that's even more lonely…"

He shook his head…

"No… it's lonelier to find yourself hoping to be loved back only to be let down…"

"So you're just coasting along?"

She asked incredulously… once again, the mirthless smile appears on his face…

"Yeah… you can call it that… Coasting along…"

He said the words as if he's found something new to improve his vocabulary before shrugging his shoulders casually as if to say he's really used to this kind of life and that nothing will change his mind about the whole thing…

Rachel scoffs at him and says jokingly…

"Gosh! How did your father raise you? I bet he thinks you're a disappointment…"

Noah paused midstroke… his shoulders tensing for a second before he relaxes again…

"Well, in fact, he does… he thinks I'm a son of a bitch that cramps his style… he didn't raise anybody… he just sort of sat around all day at home moping and drinking… Blaming everyone in his life from his father, to my mother and me to the reality that his existence is a living hell because he is married to a woman he can't stand who bore him a son that he also can't stand while my mother was too much preoccupied about making more money that she doesn't even give a damn… "

He was staring far off into the distance when he was saying that… as if realizing how much of himself he's opening up to her… Noah bows his head and starts drying the glass that he's holding in his hand vigorously, making sure to keep his gaze away from Rachel as he concluded his story…

"so you see? I pretty much raised myself…"

He had on a self deprecating smile once he finished… Rachel almost tearing up as she imagined a lost little boy who has everything that he can ask for except the love and affection that he's been longing for all his life… No wonder he's built walls… and some pretty tall ones at that…

"And that is the reason why I don't believe in love because I have none to give… it's better this way… I don't want to complicate anybody else's life the way that mine is…I'm not that confident that I can give them what they want… "

Trying to make light of the situation, he asked teasingly…

"So does that make me weird? Screwed up? A nut job?"

However, Rachel's reply was again unexpected as she looked at him tenderly…

"Is that the reason why you didn't call or gotten in touch with me this whole week?"

Dammit! Rachel thought… she sounds like a whining girlfriend… a girlfriend who's asking for an explanation for something that she has absolutely no right to be asking…

A little taken aback by her reaction he paused for a second before looking at her intently…

"Maybe… "

And there was a wealth of meaning behind his words…Rachel wants to crawl inside his brain to pick it apart and see how he really feels about this whole thing… to climb inside his walls and tear it down but she knows that it would take more time before she can even begin to understand what makes him tick…

Gathering up her courage, Rachel ventures out to open up a topic that they've been avoiding the whole night…

"About that kiss…"

She began tentatively… Noah cuts her off… his voice coming out more sternly than he intended it to be…

"I'm just doing my part… I don't do things in a half baked way Rachel… When I put my mind into something I give it all I've got…so I hope you won't read too much into the things I do or see it for more than it is… let's…. let's just do things the way we agreed on and forget about it, shall we?"

Rachel felt a twinge of pain pinch her heart… a reaction that she couldn't hide as she gave a small, fake laugh while she kept her gaze averted from his…

"Oh… oh… yeah… of course…"

**_(Play Christina Perri's Arms)_**

Noah's eyes softened up… his voice getting softer too as he addressed her again…

"I may not be able to offer you anything more but I know how to be a friend… a real friend… a good friend… the kind that goes beyond what this agreement is all about…"

_**I never thought that you would be the one to hold my heart**__**  
**__**But you came around and you knocked me off the ground from the start**_

Rachel turned her head slowly to look at him… a wide grin making its way into her face as she thought how much of a sucker she is that only this much would ease all of her worries and uncertainties about where this is all heading and what their future would be like…

He stood beside her with an awkward expression… swaying on his feet as he waited for her answer nervously as if it was the first time he asked someone to be friends with him like this…

Not getting an answer, he teasingly asks…

_**You put your arms around me**__**  
**__**And I believe that it's easier for you to let me go**__**  
**_

"So what? Want to coast along with me?"

He said with a wide grin as Rachel grinned back…

_**You put your arms around me and I'm home**_

"I'd like that…"

She answered in a whisper as Noah flicks a handful of bubbles on her head while she jerked in surprise making him laugh… Rachel turned towards him with a look in her eyes that can only spell revenge which makes Noah's eyes widen… he raises his hands defensively as he slowly backed off while Rachel scoops up a huge pile of bubbles from the sink causing him to run around the counter while she chased him all around the kitchen, the both of them giggling and shouting like schoolkids…

_**How many times will let you me change my mind and turn around**__**  
**__**I can't decide if I'll let you save my life or if I'll drown**__**  
**_

As the days wore on, Rachel and Noah's relationship became even closer…It was as if the moment they reach the agreement to become friends, they opened a whole new dimension to their relationship that was left unexplored before and both of them were breathless with the wealth of their discoveries about each other…

_**I **__**hope that you see right through my walls**__**  
**__**I hope that you catch me, 'cause I'm already falling**__**  
**__**I'll never let a love get so close**__**  
**__**You put your arms around me and I'm home**_

They frequent coffeeshops, often staying there until the wee hours of the early morning just talking about everything and anything under the sun… Rachel would be talking animatedly, her arms wrapped around her knees as she sat barefoot trying to fit herself in those one of those huge lounge armchairs… Noah would be sitting opposite her… an entranced expression on his face as he sat staring at her while she laughed uproariously over something that was not exceptionally funny or gesture wildly while telling a story…

He had also taken to picking her up from the theater… Most of the time watching her quietly from a corner, as she studies her script with so much seriousness before lifting her head up from her work to look and smile at him for just a few seconds that makes the hours that he sits there waiting for her worth it… As if they have a secret world of their own where he can wash away the tiredness of her day just by his presence while Kurt stood looking at the both of them to one side, hugging himself with a dreamy smile and sighing enviously…

_**The world is coming down on me and I can't find a reason to be loved**__**  
**__**I never wanna leave you but I can't make you bleed if I'm alone**__**  
**_

On weekends, they'd have little out of town trips where Rachel would take him to a place that is special to her or sometimes he'd take her to a place that he wants her to see… Rachel would often respond to everything with so much excitement that he can't help but feel good about it…Then on the drive home, she would often fall asleep… Almost always nodding off while in the passenger seat as he try to find the nearest rest stop just so he can steady her head and not have it lolling around to make sure she sleeps comfortably…Most of the time he'd spend minutes to just watch her sleep as she make those cute little noises and scrunch up her face unwittingly… Those cute little gestures that are certified hers that never fail to bring a smile to his face…

_**You put your arms around me**__**  
**__**And I believe that it's easier for you to let me go**__**  
**__**I hope that you see right through my walls**__**  
**__**I hope that you catch me, 'cause I'm already falling**__**  
**__**I'll never let a love get so close**__**  
**__**You put your arms around me and I'm home**_

Then there are their DVD evenings where Rachel would be the total slob and go to meet him at her home in her pajamas and her glasses, her hair put up haphazardly while he looks at her disgustedly and lecture her about how a woman should always be dressed up and elegant… Most of the time his efforts are met with a rolling of the eyeballs and a loud WHATEVER before she puts up the humungous bucket of popcorn while they watch the movie in silence inside her dim living room and he will wait whether she'd cry, laugh outrageously or scream like a banshee depending on the film their seeing… He can read her emotions now like clockwork and deep inside he thinks that whatever she wears, she is still pretty…

He's also now quite adept at texting… Who'd have thought? They text almost every day… Sometimes it could be about something as trivial as to remind each other about the schedule of a tv program that they're both waiting for and then there are the more unexpected ones like when she's about to go to bed and she'd send him a text to say good night complete with a smiley or when he has an important meeting at work and she'd wish him luck… His inbox is almost full because of it… all of the messages bearing only her name…

Last week, her Broadway Play premiered and she was officially launched as the new Evita…

For the first time ever, she got to sing Don't Cry for me Argentina…

She is wracked with nervousness… not just for her debut but also because she wanted the play to be a success…

As a supportive friend, Noah sat in the audience… The moment, she appeared though, there was no trace of that nervousness at all as she hit the high notes and acted her little heart out looking every bit the successful Broadway actress …

Noah had never been prouder as he applauded and hooted from the audience, earning him a smile and a wink from her during curtain call which made him laugh and it was as if they were alone and not among a crowd of people…

_**I tried my best to never let you in to see the truth**__**  
**__**And I've never opened up**__**  
**__**I've never truly loved 'Till you put your arms around me**__**  
**__**And I believe that it's easier for you to let me go**_

They go grocery shopping often arguing about brands that they'd buy like an old married couple, most of the time feasting on samples and making a meal already out of that while the promodizers look at them with disapproving glances, dissolving them both into a fit of giggles…

_**I hope that you see right through my walls**__**  
**__**I hope that you catch me, 'cause I'm already falling**__**  
**__**I'll never let a love get so close**__**  
**__**You put your arms around me and I'm home**_

They were featured everywhere together… the Society pages love them… the new it couple as they say… Lifestyle programs would go into endless debates about how dreamy they both are together or how much positive change they brought upon each other and as Finn watches from home, he'd always have on a bittersweet smile on his face… His eyes full of sadness as Quinn stare at him staring at Rachel onscreen and she'd hug him closer to her only to feel him growing colder and slipping further away… It seems like the closer Noah and Rachel get, the further away Finn and her drift apart…

_**You put your arms around me and I'm home**_

And that's how the month and a half passed by… a fact that Noah is aware of as he stared at his calendar… marking the x's on it with a heavy hand as the days flew away… but if before he can't wait for the day till this charade is over, now he counts the days that Rachel and him still has left…

* * *

Straightening her dress as she got out of an airport cab… Rachel blew her bangs out of her face nervously as she stared at the humungous house in front of her where her great aunt lives…It had been years since Rachel had met with her relatives…

Ever since her parents died, the visits had been few and far between and though they were her only living guardians during the time when she was orphaned and alone, Rachel chose to stay in New York rather than return to Ohio where they all are, much to their dismay…

Majority of Rachel's relatives are traditional and old fashioned… Having come from an ancestry of politicians, they have almost sworn off modern living as they dedicated their lives to being outstanding citizens and serving the town where their ancestors used to live before them…

Rachel's family is big on public service…Her father going into mainstream politics was quite a feather in their cap and a source of pride to them… However, the dirty tactics that his rivals took most of the time by slinging mud unto the family name was something that they just can't take and since then they just took the easier route out to resolve the issue which is just to stop reading the papers…And this is precisely the reason why Rachel had been nervous eversince the moment that she stepped into the plane taking her there this morning… No one from her family knows that Finn and her had broken up… It would have been a lighter burden for her if they've known through someone else or through the media but the fact is, the responsibility to break the news to them now lies on her shoulder…

Not an easy task in fact since Rachel's relatives especially the elder ones absolutely worship the ground that Finn walks on… and who can blame them? They practically raised them together and Finn was just such a charming, quiet, pleasant man that everyone were just pinning their hopes on having future great grandchildren from the two of them together…

Taking a deep breath and psyching herself for what is to come, Rachel pastes on a smile on her face as she enters her ancestral homes' grounds…

The party is in full swing… there were tents erected on the vast front yard and everywhere was the sound of laughter and singing as people partake of a sumptous lunch that the army of servants that her aunt has had prepared…

"Oh… it's Rachel!"

A shout greets Rachel as she entered the front yard and she gave a jovial wave as her relatives all rush forward and fawn all over her...

Rachel hugs them back and does her greetings while shouts of "So Beautiful" and "We Miss You" ring continuously in her ears… Overwhelmed by the outflowing of excitement, Rachel allows herself to be dragged forward as her other aunts brought her to her grandmother in order for her to give her greetings…

Sitting on a chair in a room that has a view of the front yard, Rachel's grandmother sat regally… For a woman who's supposed to be turning 85, her eyes still retain the sharpness that it always had even in her youth and with a stern look at Rachel she gestures for her to give her a hug…

Rachel felt like she was 10 again as she did what was asked her…

"Happy Birthday Grammy…"

She said jovially while her grandmother clears her throat in response… A reaction that was expected from someone who is as austere as she is… Grandmother looks at her sharply…

"Have you heard the news?"

So there you have it… no hi's nor hello's but a threatening possibility of a reprimand in her voice… Rachel's heart started to slam in her chest… Hoping against hope that she had not heard about her breakup with Finn without Rachel telling her first otherwise, she'd really get it…

"A-about wh-what Gramma?"

Her grandmother made a face… her eyes only flicking once towards her direction before she looks out into the front courtyard again…

"Beth is getting married next month… to a doctor no less and she's only 22… That's 3 years younger than you…"

Beth is the daughter of their neighbor and Rachel could not care less about the status of her marital condition… However, to Rachel's relatives, her marriage with Finn had always been a touchy subject since they've been pushing them to tie the knot ever since she was 20…

Rachel gave an internal groan as she once again put on a bright expression on her face, however she was saved from making an excuse as Finn arrived in the doorway, a bowl of fruits in his hand, signifying that he might have been already there for awhile even before she got there…Rachel gives a sharp intake of breath… Her eyes meeting with Finn's for a moment as he paused awkwardly by the doorway upon seeing her before putting on a smile and addressing her grandmother brightly…

"Grandma… are you at it again? You're embarassing Rachel..."

Finn's lighthearted response seem to pacify her as she only scoffed… Finn takes the opportunity to pierce some peeled apples for her while asking her to eat some of it…

The gesture earns a small smile from grandmother as she took the fork from Finn and ate obediently while Rachel looks on at them in silence…After ensuring that Grandma was in a better mood, Finn addresses her politely to ask her…

"I hope you don't mind ma'am, but Rachel and I have only seen each other this time today… Is it okay if we go out and mingle with the other guests?"

That earned another wide grin from Grandmother as she totally dropped the whole tough grandma act as she looked at them dotingly…

"Of Course… it's been two years since we've last seen the two of you… your aunts will be looking forward to seeing you two…"

"Thanks grandma…"

Finn gave her a peck on the cheek before taking Rachel's hand in his and pulling her outside…

Once, they were alone and in a mostly secluded area, Rachel shakes his hands off her as she addressed him angrily…

"WHAT THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING?"

He took a deep breath, his eyes apologetic as he replied to her…

"I'm sorry… Your aunt called me directly to ask me to come… "

Rachel expels a deep breath as she imagined how she must have badgered him… Calming down a little, Rachel remained quiet as Finn looks at her curiously..

"Why didn't you tell them that we're no longer together?"

Rachel averts her gaze away from his… not having the courage to tell him that when they broke up she had the highest hopes that they'd get back together again…. Hiding behind the façade of anger, Rachel replies to him irritably…

"Have you seen how she treats you? Do you want my grandmother to die if I tell her?"

Finn does not know why but he finds himself smiling… a fact that did not escape Rachel's attention as she tried to make sense of how she's feeling at that given moment as their gazes locked together…

"Look if it isn't little Finn Hudson…"

Gushing and fawning all over him, a crowd of Rachel's aunts suddenly comes over to join them… Breaking the tension that was present between the two of them as Rachel and Finn once again put on bright, happy faces…

"Rachel… I'm telling you that you got quite a catch… how can this boy grow more handsome as time goes by?"

Finn smiles shyly as one of Rachel's aunt look at him affectionately as another aunt barges in…

"So true… When are the two of you getting married? Don't you want to be bride and groom and walk down the aisle?"

Finn and Rachel gave out nervous laughter…

Thankfully, they were not given the chance of answering as another one of the aunts prodded the two to stop pestering them so that they can take their lunch as it was already ready…

As the crowd dissipates and Rachel and Finn were left standing together, Finn offers his arm to Rachel to hold on to…

Tentatively, Rachel stares at him for a second as if wanting to know what he's thinking… uncertainly Rachel hooks her arms around his as they walked towards the front yard… An unspoken truce falling between them after all the months that they have purposefully stayed away from each other if only for that given moment…

As the afternoon wore on and Rachel's relatives crowd around Finn, her uncles asking him to drink and her aunts feeding him non-stop, Rachel had a thought of how this is the picture of exactly what she wanted… This is what she imagined their future to be like with the two of them together … but why is it that now that this moment is here, she can't even put a finger on how she feels?

There is just a huge ache inside her heart and a sense of loss… Of a feeling that she mislaid someone dear to her and now that she's found him, she does not know what to do with him at all…

Finn lifts his head up for a moment from across the room as if seeking her and their eyes met.. Rachel can almost drown from the tenderness she sees in his eyes but all she can give him is a sad smile… A smile that up until now, even without words Finn can understand…

As the afternoon wore on and the number of guests dwindled, the crowd around their table eventually thinned until it was only Finn and her left together… With a covert glance, Rachel tried to sneak a peek at him from the side of her eyes, looking at Finn staring off into the distance, a small smile playing on his lips…

"I'm sorry…"

Rachel whispered as Finn turned to look at her with a confused expression on his face…

"For this… for putting you on the spot… My relatives can be quite a burden…"

Finn gave her a wider smile before staring whimsically at one of her aunt and uncles slowdancing drunkenly in the front courtyard…

"Don't be… I've always loved being around your family… Whenever we go here, I can make believe that they're mine and that I belong somewhere…"

Rachel stares at Finn and for a moment, it was not him seated there but the seven year old boy whom Rachel first met… The one who would not speak nor meet anybody else's eyes because of loneliness and it's funny how after all these years, somehow, that little boy is still present even if he had made so much out of himself…

"Why did you cheat on me?"

The words just came out of Rachel's mouth… unthinkingly… like it had been at the back of her mind all along…her voice full of the pain that she had repressed for the longest time…

Finn looks at her… his eyes full of things that he wanted to tell her… like how sorry he is for hurting her… how he's regretting his decisions… how Quinn and him seem to be headed for separation and how leaving her was the biggest mistake he's ever made but instead he just smiled sadly…

"It… it just happened… there's no excuse for it…"

He took a deep breath, staring off into the distance again before he once again looked at her…

"If I could only undo it, I would… sorry… I guess I was just a jerk after all…"

A thoughtful silence enveloped the two of them as Rachel pried her gaze away from his sincere eyes… both of them quiet as they stare once more into the distance…

"I'm glad you could come…"

She said in a whisper… She turned her head to look at him once more…

"Is Quinn….ummm… you're getting along alright?"

Finn gave a weak chuckle… giving her a smile that didn't quite reach his eyes…

"We have not seen each other for the longest time… She's always busy…"

A pregnant pause greeted that sentence… Rachel not knowing how to respond to it…

"Puck and you seem to be getting along well…"

Rachel smiled back.. feeling guilty all of a sudden but not knowing the reason why…

"Ummm…"

She nodded…

"Be careful of him… Don't let him break your heart again…"

Rachel turned her head around to look at Finn, wanting to know what he meant by that but that was also the time when her aunts decided to call her …

As Rachel walked away from Finn, she realized that at this moment, right now, she had freed herself of her hatred and that she had forgiven him with all her heart

While Finn on the other hand is lost in the memories of the times that they have spent together as being in this place right now reminds him so much of how it felt when they were still a pair…

Of the time when he was eight and she was seven and she first approached him looking like Little Miss Sunshine in pigtails as he sat by himself in that playground swing…

Of the first time at 9 when she had coaxed him out of his shell by playing the drums so atrociously that he just had to teach her how to do it correctly…

Of the time at 13, when she told him she liked him and how she ran away so shyly that he can't help but smile at her…

Of the time at seventeen when they officially became a couple and how she cried when he asked him if she'd go out with him…

Of the time three and a half months ago when he broke her heart so badly and how he wishes right now that heaven would grant him a second chance to correct his mistakes if only he can have her back again…


	13. This is me you're talking to

**___AUTHORS NOTE:_**

**I have named this chapter and used the song that I particularly go through when I am in need of something full of angst…**

_**In this chapter, I have tried my best to illustrate the journey of how we all move on from love in different ways… about how memories are sometimes very powerful in holding someone back and how starting all over with a new love is not as easy as one imagines it to be when you have shared a very full past with someone else…**_

_**I do believe that the only way to embrace and welcome someone new in one's life is to let go and to make new memories and moving forward, that is what Puck and Rachel will be doing but of course not without some drama…**_

_**I really thrive on angst so I hope that you will enjoy reading through this chapter in a delicious melo kind of way and that you'd also feel that pinch in your heart that I felt while writing it…**_

_**Reviews are anticipated so do leave a note….**_

_**Once again, **__**I hope you guys can play the song when the italicized lyrics appear so that the emotions i'm trying to convey in that part be heightened as you read through it with the help of the music... You can just search for THIS IS ME YOU'RE TALKING TO by TRISHA YEARWOOD on Youtube…**_

_**I know you'd enjoy reading this chapter more when you do...**_

_**Looking forward to hearing from you!**_

* * *

**CHAPTER ELEVEN**

**THIS IS ME YOU'RE TALKING TO**

Stretching langurously from the passenger seat of Noah's car, Rachel yawns widely as Noah takes his eyes off momentarily from the road to look at her and smile…

She looked like a lost little girl… Her face bare of makeup and wearing a sweater that's about 2 times larger than her with her arms around a pillow that she brought specifically for the trip, Rachel seeemed to have come prepared for a long drive…

Clapping her hands over her mouth, she stifles another yawn as she turned to look at her side of the window at the passing scenery…

There was companionable silence inside the car with only Lady Antebellum's voice singing Need you Now from Noah's high end car radio wafting softly through the four corners of the moving vehicle as they drive along…

Feeling her eyes getting heavier as she began to doze off, Rachel was unaware of the moment when Noah turned to look at her once more, only this time his stares lingered longer on her face, his eyes growing softer…more tender…

Noah gave a wan smile as he took his fill of her…He doesn't know when it started but he is now drawn to staring at her … Of drinking in the sight of her during moments when she is not looking or when she's pensive and lost in a world of her own or deep in thought or when she doesn't take notice so that she can't see the longing in his eyes or the hunger in them that he's feeling more often nowadays and that lately is becoming harder for him to hide…

Is he in love with her? He does not know if he'd call it that… what does he know about it anyway? All he knows is that he can't imagine his days anymore without her or of waking up one day to find out that he'd never see her again…

Truth be told, he'd like to take it a step further… to be able to kiss her or hold her in his arms and get to know her better as more than just a friend and definitely not as a pretend boyfriend… He wants to look at her smiling at him as Noah the man and not just Noah Puckerman, her partner in crime…

Who knows if in time, she may be the girl who'd come to teach him what love is really like?

He didn't know when it started or how it happened but she had ingrained herself in his life more than he imagined she ever could….

Against his will…

Against his defenses…

If he only knew that this is what would have happened when he met her in that parking lot a long time ago, he would have run away from her so fast that her head would spin and she wouldn't have known what hit her…

But then there was something about her vulnerability that seemed to reel him in… he could have just walked away that moment when he saw her crouching against the cars of Finn's building, hiding, but it was as if his feet had a mind of its own making him end up just right in front of her and in this very moment…

Honestly, he wants to come clean but he's scared shitless…

For the first time in his life, he is opening himself up again to becoming unguarded and he hates it…

This is not his thing…

Although he had steeled himself a thousand times over from rejection and heartbreak, he knows that hearing the words "you're just a friend" from her would still sting…

She is in love with someone else… a fact that she have not hidden from him ever since the beginning… and no matter how much he looked at it, the odds are all stacked against him…

What can he offer her anyway? If they will be indeed together, he can't make promises that it would be forever… There is a desire inside him to taste her lips and feel her against him but what if it turns out to be purely physical and he gets tired of her, what happens then?

Rachel Berry is not like his other women and he has no idea at all how to treat her… She is not like Quinn, who knows the rules of the game and who can walk away unscathed once they call it quits… Rachel is… well, Rachel is innocently naïve… and he does not think he can take it if he sees her hurting again because of him…

He doesn't even know why he's suddenly built a conscience after all of these time… maybe, it's because he's gotten to know her really well this past month and deep inside he knows, that she deserves nothing less than a man who will love her with his whole heart and want nothing back…

Could he be that kind of person? He does not think so… Definitely not… but still that does not deter from the fact that he likes her… desire her… he likes her so much that there is a deep ache inside him just being in her presence… of a curiosity that he'd want to satiate of how it would feel like to have her care for him for real and to have her underneath him, passionately crying out his name…

He's confused and bothered and for the past couple of days when they were apart, he almost went crazy just because of missing her… a dependency that he thought he had made himself immune to but there was something about her that is tearing down his defenses…

Does she feel the same way too? Does she even see him as a man at all? He would give everything just to know the answer…

As if reading his thoughts, Rachel opened her eyes and stretched making the sweater she was wearing ride up to reveal a patch of skin on her stomach…

Against his will, Noah's eyes were drawn to it until Rachel cried out "NOAH" and gripped his arm hard just as a loud, honking noise coming from a truck ahead of them from the opposite lane woke him up from his reverie…

Noah's eyes widened in shock as he steadies the wheel to take his car back in control… Rachel's right hand is still on her chest, her mouth wide open in shock, while her left hands knuckles almost turned white from gripping his arms so hard before turning to look at him with an accusatory glare…

"WE ALMOST DIED THERE… What is wrong with you? Where was your mind off to?"

_You._

He almost said out loud… however, even before he can say anything, she was already leaning against the back of her seat with her eyes closed, taking deep breaths as if to calm herself…

She opened her eyes to look at him again… Noah schooling his features into a sheepish smile which she answered back with one of her own once the worst had passed…

"Now, that's one way to wake up…"

She said to diffuse the tension… a fact that Noah welcomed with so much ardor that he seemed to have laughed harder at her quip even if in reality it was not that funny…

She looked at him a little weirdly just as Noah whistled along to the song that was playing on the radio… Seeing that there seemed to be no problem, Rachel dismissed the thought before opening the car window and bringing her face out to enjoy the fresh, country air…

The scenery was getting greener… they have been driving for 2 hours and it was beautiful here… like a storybook full of green pastures and meadows and tall mountains in the backdrop… She will be happy living in such a place when she gets married…

When she gets married… She repeated the thought in her head and Rachel gave a little smile… What a difference time makes, she noted….A couple of months ago, she would have immediately connected Finn's name to that sentence… But now it was just a plain statement about the kind of life she'd want to live after she gets married.

PERIOD.

Turning her head to look at Noah, Rachel asks him excitedly… her eyes twinkling as her excitement towards this trip seemed to have become greater than when they first left the city…

"Are we there yet? Are we there yet?"

Noah smiled at that… Patting her head dotingly making Rachel giggle and swat his hands away…

"You sound like a little girl… Are you being cute for me, Berry?"

He said teasingly… Wiggling his eyebrows sleazily for good effect which made her laugh…

"You wish! Does that sort of thing even work with you?"

She asked nonchalantly, looking straight ahead…

_It didn't until I met you._

Noah thought to himself… However, lacking the courage to say what's really in his head, Noah chuckled instead before replying in the same casual tone…

"Good thing you know…"

Rachel looks at him sharply before sticking her tongue out at him playfully… both of them chuckling at the childish gesture before a companionable silence fell between them once again …

As they drive further, Rachel grew more nervous… Daunted by the fact that she will be meeting Noah's friends for the first time and that majority of them are friends that he shares with Quinn…

"Is.. is it really alright that you brought me? Do… do they even know I'm with you and that I'm coming?"

Rachel asked after a couple of minutes… a wobbly smile on her face which seem to describe the anxiety she feels over this outing…

Noah's voice was calm, reassuring as he quieted her fears…

"Relax… Mike specifically asked me to bring you… he's the only one whose opinion should matter anyway… I'm not even half as close to the others except for him…"

Rachel nodded, putting on a brave front for Noah despite the fact that her heart was slamming into her chest…

This is an entirely new experience for her… Getting to know other people and wanting to make an impression as they get to know her… With Finn, there was no need at all for her to do the same thing since they make friends together… Whoever she knew, he knew and the other way around… What if Noah's friends didn't like her? What if they think Noah's better off without her? What if…

_Why does she even care so much? It's not as if they are dating for real, are they?_

A tiny voice inside her head whispered, cutting into her thoughts as she looked at Noah underneath her lashes…

Her musings were cut short however when Noah turned a corner into a long, winding driveway… Weeping willows sorround the road leading towards the main house sheltering their car like an umbrella as an imposing dutch colonial inspired house sat waiting at the end … There was a red barn just up ahead and enclosed in fences are horses running around the grounds and Rachel was in awe of how grand this "summer house" of Mike really is…

"We're here…"

Noah said as he stopped the car in front of a garage that had several luxury cars already parked out there…

Rachel brushed her hand against her shorts… feeling under dressed in her hooded sweater and denims in such a grand and austere setting… Noah told her that it will be brunch and BBQ… she never imagined that they will be going to a place worthy of being a resthouse for The President and if she knew she would have worn something better…

Seeing her nervous expression, Noah puts his arms casually around Rachel reassuringly…

"They'd like you… I promise…"

And even before Rachel can make another protest, he was slipping her hand inside his warm ones already as he pulled her along towards the main entrance while Rachel look on at their entwined fingers curiously… her heart now beating all together not just because of nervousness but because of an altogether different feeling that she just can't quite put her fingers on…

Noah weaved his way inside the house confidently, waving his hands at the butler with familiarity signifying that he'd been there countless number of times…

As the sound of laughter grew louder and the voices grew nearer, Rachel took a deep breath as if to prepare herself for the worst and before long they have already made their way towards the backyard where everybody was at…

Everyone turned to stare at them and a sudden quiet enveloped the sorroundings as Noah and her appeared in the doorway… All six of the people in the table set out back looking at her with hardly veiled curiosity as they try to place perhaps who she is exactly in Noah's life…

Mike, sensing the awkwardness and being the gracious host that he is, broke the tension by rushing towards them and hugging Noah and pounding him on the back

Once the initial excitement of meeting his old friend again had died down, Mike asked Noah to introduce Rachel to him…

Gracefully, Noah does as he's told and Mike extended his hands towards Rachel with a welcoming smile… A smile that Rachel returned timidly which stayed on her face the rest of the time when Mike introduced her to the rest of the guests including his fiancee' Tina…

The guests greeted Rachel warmly but mostly detachedly… Rachel had a feeling that it is because of Quinn's affiliation with them and though they are not particularly rude, no one's particularly welcoming either…

As Rachel stood beside Mike and Noah, the two started to talk business… both of them engrossed in their conversation about new productions to fund and selling it in the international market as Rachel stood in the sidelines, rocking on the balls of her feet awkwardly, feeling somewhat bored and just a little out of place…

Sensing her discomfort, Noah excuses himself to turn towards her…

"Sorry…"

He said groaning apologetically, looking at her with puppy dog eyes that made Rachel smile despite the circumstances…

"Mike can be quite fixated when he starts talking shop and there's just no way to stop him…"

He rolled his eyes exasperatedly…

"It's alright… "

Rachel said brightly…. Easing up Noah's burden seeing how torn he is between looking after her and mingling with his friends whom he have not seen for quite some time…

"Tell you what, I'm a little hungry myself so what if I just slip to the buffet and get something to eat while you continue your conversation with Mike… I'd fix you a plate too, how'd you like that?"

Noah's grin almost split his face apart… marvelling at how understanding Rachel is that before he knew it he was kissing her on the cheek…

"Thanks!"

He called off before bounding happily towards where Mike was standing waiting for him as Rachel stood in shock, holding on to her cheeks…

A waiter bumps into Rachel, shaking her out of her stupor… blushing profusely, she bit her lips to stop the smile that's threatening to break out of her face as she walked away to explore by herself the rest of the vast garden…

There was an old english countryside feel to Mike's house…tall hedges sorround the backyard and there was a vast field to throw frisbees in or play football on should the whimsy hit someone… the setting of the brunch itself was like something that came out of Country Living… A huge yellow parasol hung with tealights shade the guests from the early morning sun as mismatched chairs hung with scarves are scattered around a rustic table covered with a gingham tablecloth accented with vases full of sprays of colorful daisies…

Rachel walked towards the buffet towards the far end of the garden… the spread was breathtaking… there was traditional southern fare but also an american breakfast consisting of pancakes, waffles, bacon and ham…

Just as Rachel was about to get a plate to fill for Noah… something caught her attention in the far distance…

There, hidden from view seated on a tire swing hanging on a large maple tree was someone who was familiar to her… He looked forlorn and dejected by himself among the festive guests who were now laughing and conversing wildly on the opposite side of the garden…

Wondering what he's doing by himself, Rachel tentatively calls out his name… unaware if he had seen her previously or if he's trying his best to pretend not to see her…

"Finn?"

He turned around at the sound of his name… his face first registering surprise then lighting up as he saw her… brushing the seat of his pants, he walked towards her…

An awkward smile painted on his face which barely disguised the excitement that his eyes gave away…

"What are you doing here?"

He leaned towards her… not knowing whether to hug her or to kiss her but in the end, he did a little of both as he half hugged her before air kissing her as they stood awkwardly facing each other

"What are you doing here?"

Rachel returned the question…

"Why are you by yourself? Where's… "

Her voice drifted off, looking around her as she looked for Quinn…

"She's following… she's coming from a shoot…"

Finn's reply was terse and curt… Making Rachel frown in confusion as she looked at him in worry…

"Is something wrong?"

She asked with concern, holding on to his arm with familiarity as she questioned him which is what Noah saw when he raised his head to look for her… a dark cloud passing over his face as he watched them, their heads close together as he watched from where he's standing…

"What's he doing here?"

He asked Mike in a hard voice making him stop midsentence and look towards the direction where Noah was looking…Seeing Finn and Rachel getting cozy, Mike slaps his forehead as if remembering something…

"Sorry dude… not my idea… Tina invited Quinn over and you know how thick as thieves those two are… Finn came ahead… something about Quinn being late or something…"

Noah's jaw hardened… Great … just great… He wouldn't have invited Rachel nor come if he knew that those two are going to be here… it was bad enough that he would have to tread on eggshells to pacify Quinn but now he also has to work with the fact that Rachel and Finn seem to have gotten friendlier since the last time they saw each other… When the hell did that happen?

Just as Noah was about to walk over to where Finn and Rachel are standing, a sudden commotion broke out, making him pause midstep as Quinn made her entrance in the grandest way possible… She lets out a loud squeal as soon as she entered the backyard just as Tina and their friends tease her about how much of a star she really is that even her entrance has to be a show stopper…

Quinn threw her head back in laughter, her stare registering Finn and Rachel's presence from a distance making her smile waver as she looked at the two together… It was as if it never happened though, because before long, her wide smile was back in place…

Quinn waves to everyone as she exchanged hugs with the girls at the table before letting out another squeal as she saw Noah… She threw her arms enthusiastically around him… never letting go even after she had already greeted him…

"Well, well, well Noah… if this isn't just like old times…"

She said tenderly but loud enough for Rachel and Finn to hear… She then looked up at Noah adoringly as Noah looked down on her upturned face, giving her a wan smile…

Rachel found herself fixated on the sight of Quinn's hand possesively rubbing Noah's back… As if there was something about that gesture that was hypnotizing her making her numb…Finn clears his throat from beside her… Rachel drags her gaze away from the sight ahead of them with much effort as she looked at Finn's neutral expression…

"I guess I have to go greet her…"

Finn sighed beside her, sounding as if he'd rather eat dirt than do that…

There was something weird in the atmosphere… as if something was amiss that Rachel can't just quite put her finger on…

As Finn excused himself to walk towards where Quinn was at, Noah does the same to follow Rachel… As they walked moving towards opposite directions, Finn and Noah met halfway… the both of them pausing for a staredown once they're face to face for a couple of seconds before Finn breaks the tension by nodding politely at Noah before moving on…

Rachel followed Finn with his gaze… Taking notice of how he greeted Quinn normally by kissing her on the cheek but she seem to receive it coldly… Rachel frowned as she once again look at Finn's dejected expression… Wanting to stop herself from caring at all but her feelings as a friend for Finn rising to the forefront as she sees him obviously miserable…

Noah looked at Rachel's gaze pinned on Finn and Quinn… mistaking her stares for one of sadness… he clears his throat loudly making Rachel aware of his presence…

Rachel throws a glance towards Noah but only to wave him off to be quiet… With outmost attention, Rachel hugged the plate that she had been holding towards her chest as she looked at Quinn and Finn once again…

"Something's different between those two, don't you think? Like they had a fight or something?"

Noah gave a sarcastic smirk at that… his pleasant mood of awhile ago totally changing a 160 degrees as Rachel gave such special attention to Quinn and Finn, which might be the reason why his reply came out harsher than he intended…

"I don't give a shit…Do I look like I care? I have so many things to think about that I can't be preoccupied with something as idiotic as that…"

Rachel looked up at him then… a hurt expression on her face as Noah carefully schooled his features to reveal nothing…

"Besides, when did Finn and you start getting so friendly? I didn't even know you were back on speaking terms…"

Rachel shrugs casually… dismissing Noah's sudden attitude to the fact that he might be a little annoyed too because Finn is now beside Quinn once again… Banishing, the twinge of pain she felt in her heart because of this, Rachel replied indifferently as she surveyed the mouthwatering feast in front of her…

"Oh, didn't I tell you? Finn was at my grandmothers party when I went there?"

"WHATTTTTTTTT?"

Noah said so loudly that everyone turned around to look at them… Seeing how everyone's attention is now fixated on them, Noah lowers his voice as he started interrogating Rachel…

"What? Is that the reason why you didn't let me come? What happened? Did he say something to you? Did you go home together? So what? Now you're back to being all over each other?"

He spat out the last words as if he can't even bear saying it… Rachel stares at him in shock, wondering what the hell he's mad about…

"Okay… "

She lets out a nervous laugh…

"This is getting weird, it's just the two of us here so there's no need to act the part of a jealous boyfriend… Now what do you want? Pancakes or waffles? "

It was the casual way that she addressed him that pacified his rage immediately… the indifferent way in which she dismissed his questions, bringing him back to the reality that he has no right to act that way nor to ask her those questions because what is he exactly to her anyway?

"Yeah… like a jealous boyfriend… except I'm not, right? I'm just your "pretend" boyfriend to make Finn "the saint" realize what he's exactly missing…"

He said in a low voice

"What?"

Rachel exclaimed in confusion… not really knowing why Noah's acting this way all of a sudden…

"What's happening? I don't get it Noah… Is something wrong, huh?"

Rachel puts her hand against Noah's forehead in concern… worried that he might be sick or getting sick that's why he's getting irritable all of a sudden… Noah swats her hand away from him…

"I'm fine! And I can get my own breakfast too…"

As if to make a point, Noah grabs the plate that Rachel was holding as she looked at him in surprise…

"You don't have to worry about me anymore… GO… go play with Finn and stroll down memory lane or whatever cheesy thing it is that you do that's dumb and stupid…"

And with that Noah walks away… Leaving Rachel by herself wondering what went wrong and why Noah is suddenly back to his jerky old self that she had not seen for quite some time now while Finn watches them from a distance…

* * *

As the afternoon wore on, Rachel felt more out of place in the gathering than ever…

Although Mike tried his best to make sure that she's included in the conversation and comfortable, majority of the talk on the table centered around shared memories between Quinn, Noah and the rest of their friends as if to drive home the point that she is an outsider among this group and that she can never equal to whatever remembrance it is that Quinn and Noah had in the past…

Looking up from the bbq grill where he's preparing their meal and seeing Rachel quiet by herself, Noah felt a twinge of guilt for acting like a jerk in front of her awhile back… He would have loved to just sit beside her and leave the gathering as soon as they can, but it had been nearly impossible with Quinn clinging on to him and monopolizing him all this time, while Finn seemed to have just wandered off and disappeared from sight…

Fishing out his cellphone, Noah began texting… a fact that did not escape Quinn's eyes as she glanced towards his direction from beside him… a frown replacing the smile on her face as she watches Noah punch his keypads as he barely kept a smile from escaping his lips while he stared directly at Rachel expectantly waiting for her reply…

Reading Noah's message, Rachel gave out a similar smile… Seeking Noah out from amongst the crowd and staring at him before rolling her eyes in exasperation from her seat at how he can be so annoying and so sweet at the same time… She makes a face first, one that sent him chuckling before mouthing the words "I'm okay" which made him smile even wider …

All this while, the people at the table were all oblivious to what was happening… all except for Quinn who was right beside Noah and watching the exchange with barely concealed envy…

Looking at the two, just grinning at each other like idiots, Quinn fishes her cellphone out… sending Noah a text asking him if he's having fun… Noah drags his gaze away unwillingly from Rachel as he read his message… a confused look coming over his face as he looked at Quinn…

"I'm okay… why did you text? You could have just asked me… You know I don't text… "

He said dismissively as Quinn felt as if he's just dealt her a blow to her chest…

Everything's falling apart for her… everything… what does Rachel have that she doesn't?

Noah had never been this way with any other woman except for her and she had tried her best to make Finn love her but to no avail… Why did Rachel and her even have to come into each others lives as if their fates were entwined? Was she her enemy in her past life? And for the first time in her life while staring at Rachel sitting quietly, Quinn felt a fury that she had never even imagine one can possibly have for another human being…

"Would you guys just look at that… Look at how perfect the two of them are together, remember the times when we would do this every month and Quinn and Noah would always end up cooking for us?"

Rachel bowed her head as one of the girls beside Tina whispered the words to her innocently which she accidentally overheard… She knew she should not be bothered by those words at all but there was a heaviness to her chest upon hearing them which she just can't put her finger on and quite can't explain…

Rachel lifted her head up as Finn suddenly appeared, pulling out the seat beside her… His face was pale and there was a slump to his shoulder that made him look more pitiful than ever…

"Hey! Where have you been?"

She asked tenderly… her face full of concern for an old friend who from the moment she's met this morning up till now does not seem to be his normal self…

Finn took a small bite from the food in his plate, Rachel dogging him with questions as she looked at him worriedly…

"Are you okay? You sure you're alright?"

Finn gave a slow nod of his head, pasting on a smile which was mostly for her sake…

Stirred by the sad look on his face, Rachel slices some meat from her plate to pass on to him… an act that once again, did not pass Noah's attention as he watches from the sidelines as Rachel paid extra attention to Finn while also pouring wine for him…

Right… whatever passing fancy he has of telling her how he feels should just be buried and laid to rest… He can't even compete…there's not even a competition in the first place… the moment that this scam started, he was just at the starting end and Finn was already on his way to the finish line… He is not blind to see that Quinn and Finn had been cold to each other ever since they arrived at Mike's house that morning…

It may just be a matter of time and Rachel and him would have had succeeded… But why can't he feel the least bit happy for her the way that he imagined he would be now that he thinks about it…

Right after dinner, the guests all moved to Mike's living room to play karaoke and have a night cap… the mood getting mellower and more somber as the tiredness of the day settled in…

Finn and Rachel sat at the far end of the couch… two strangers who were placed amidst a group of people who seem to know each other very well as Quinn and Noah sat opposite them, a seat apart from each other…

It was not long before the group was chanting for Quinn to take the stage to start singing… a request that she waved off and protested against at the beginning but it was not long before one of their friends was pushing her onstage and giving the microphone to her…

She stood awkwardly in front as everyone hooted and applauded… the initial strains of the song filling the air before she started singing…

_This was bound to happen…_

_It was just a matter of time…_

_This town is just too small for us to really say goodbye…_

She had just finished two verses when her voice cracked… her eyes glimmering with tears as she reached the chorus… Rachel looking on at her curiously while their friends awkwardly stop clapping and chanting as they exchange meaningful looks with each other…

Noah surveyed the scene and jumps up from his seat, looking at Rachel for awhile apologetically while she fakely puts on a smile before giving a small nod for him to go ahead…

_You're smiling that smile when you get nervous…_

_Like you don't quite know what to do…  
This is me you're talking to…_

_This is me you're talking to…_

Noah takes the mic from Quinn's hand as he starts singing, a fact that seem to have given Quinn courage as she took a deep swig of the tequila in front of her and continued singing afterwards diffusing the tension in the room as their friends all made boisterous noise again as if nothing had happened…

Rachel did not know when it happened but when she turned to look beside her, Finn was nowhere in sight…

_I've heard you met somebody…_

_It didn't take you very long…_

_And I admit it isn't easy knowing you've moved on…_

From where she's seated Rachel watches Quinn and Noah as if in a trance… as if seeing for herself for the first time, the kind of closeness that Noah and Quinn really share together as they sing of lost love and moving on and how it seems as if they're singing words that are meant for each other… It was only then that it sank in on her how they have the same kind of closeness that she has with Finn and she didn't know why but she found herself intimidated…

A few more minutes pass and Quinn was slowly getting drunk… her voice slurring as she gets more talkative and uninhibited…

"What's up with this shit? I didn't even know that I am a crybaby when drunk…

She shouted uncontrollably…

_But I can see how you can make any woman_

_Fall deep in love with you…  
This is me you're talking to…_

"Oh! It's Tina who's really the crybaby… You never let yourself cry…the only time I saw you so miserable was when Noah and you broke up…"

One of their friends said jokingly as they traded stories from the past…

Rachel turned to look at Noah then… watching his face as it registered surprise while looking at Quinn as if he had just heard the story for the first time…

Quinn giggled loudly…

"Shhhh… Shhhh…."

She put her fingers on her lips…

"I told you he doesn't know….That day when we broke up I told him I was okay… that I wasn't hurt…"

_Me… The one who really knows you Me…._

_The one whose heart you've broken… Me…_

_The one who was still hoping you might be missing me…_

She turned to look at Noah then…

"But how could it not hurt? I loved you Puck… even if I didn't tell you then, I loved you… and no matter if I try to forget that fact… even if there's someone else… the fact remains that I love you… "

The room suddenly became deadly silent… the fun and games of awhile ago forgotten at the awkwardness that followed after Quinn's confession…

Quinn lifted tear filled eyes towards Noah…

"What now Noah? How will I forget you? What do I do?"

Feeling out of breath and claustrophobic, Rachel stood up jerkily as she let herself out of the house… Noah following her with his gaze as she walked out the door but even before he can follow her Quinn was already leaning drunkenly on him almost passed out…

Rachel ran out of the house… Taking in deep breaths of air as if she will never know how it is to breath easy again…

_We don't have to do this…  
We don't have to act like friends…_

_As much as I would love to, I really just don't think I can…_

In the darkness of the lawn, she saw a solitary figure… seated amongst the park benches littering the area, sat Finn…

Taking clumsy steps towards where he's seated, Rachel sat a few inches apart from him… the turning of his head for a moment the only sign that he even knew that he was there…

They sat in silence for awhile… neither one of them saying a thing as they got lost in their own thoughts and feelings for awhile…

"What are we doing here?"

Finn breaks the silence… his hands braced against the bench as he turned his head to look at Rachel with a sad smile on his face…

"Do you think we even belong with these people?"

He seemed to be asking a direct question but his statement was fraught with meaning…

Rachel gave a sigh as she answered softly…

"I don't know…"

_You don't have to tell me that you really loved me…  
After all we have been through…_

_This is me you're talking to…_

That short answer was met with a pregnant pause… only the chirping of the crickets and the sound of cars passing by the road piercing the peace that they seem to be sharing together if only for that little while…

"We broke up…"

He said in a whisper…

matter of factly…

"After we met at your grandmothers, we broke up…She just asked me to come today as a last favor…"

He gave a sarcastic chuckle…

"I don't even know what I'm doing here…"

Rachel gave a slow nod, replying to him tentatively…

"I figured as much… You okay?"

Finn sighed, raising his face to the heavens as the moonlight illuminated his profile…

"I'm o-kay… "

He said slowly…

"I don't even know what that word means anymore… "

_Me… The one who really knows you Me…._

_The one whose heart you've broken… Me…_

_The one who was still hoping you might be missing me…_

He turned to look at her…

"I love you Rach…"

The words came from out of the blue… surprising Rachel as she turned to look at him…

"I always imagined that until we're old and grey, I'd have the chance to tell you just that but I blew it… "

He gave a self deprecating smile…

"I'm not saying this to get you back or to even gain your pity… I just wanted to tell you just because… I'm sorry… "

There was a sincerity in his eyes that had never been there before

"I'm sorry I was weak… I'm sorry I should have talked to you about it sooner… I'm sorry I wish I can undo what I did… I'm sorry I wish I knew words far stronger than this…"

"Finn…"

And suddenly Rachel was hugging him to her… not as an old lover but a friend who had forgiven him from the bottom of her heart… of knowing the pain that he is suffering and letting him know that it is alright because she had sincerely gotten over it… of the confused feelings she now has in her heart because surely even if she feels differently towards Noah it was just a rebound thing and this trip had proven that she belongs with Finn and no one else…

_And you don't have to say that you do…_

_This is me you're talking to…  
This is me you're talking to…_

And as Noah came bounding up the steps to look for Rachel, it was the sight that he saw…

Of her hugging Finn close to her as if she never wants to let go…

Just like an echo Quinn's words from the bathroom awhile back resounded in Noah's head…

_"We broke up… that jerk said he loves Rachel…"_

And for the first time in his life, Noah Puckerman has found a greater fear than having his heart broken…

That of losing Rachel Berry…

Because he'd rather have her for a second and hurt for a lifetime than go on living his life normally without knowing if he had let his chance at love just pass him by while he sat back and let it happen…


	14. You give me something

**You Give me Something – James Morrison**

_You wanna stay with me in the morning_

_You only hold me when I sleep_

_I was meant to tread the water_

_But now I've gotten in too deep_

_For every piece of me that wants you_

_Another piece backs away_

_Coz you give me something_

_That makes me scared alright_

_This could be nothing_

_But I'm willing to give it a try_

_Please give me something_

_Coz someday I might know my heart_

_You already waited up for hours_

_Just to spend a little time alone with me_

_And I can say I've never brought you flowers_

_I can't work out what they mean_

_I never thought that I'd love someone_

_That was someone else's dream_

_You give me something_

_That makes me scared alright_

_This could be nothing_

_But I'm willing to give it a try_

_Please give me something_

_Coz someday I might call you from my heart_

_But it might be a second too late_

_And the words that I could never say _

_Gonna come out anyway_

_You give me something_

_That makes me scared alright_

_This could be nothing_

_But I'm willing to give it a try_

_Please give me something_

_Coz You give me something_

_That makes me scared alright_

_This could be nothing_

_But I'm willing to give it a try_

_Please give me something_

_Coz someday I might know my heart_

_Know my heart…_

_Know my heart…_

_Know my heart…_

**CHAPTER TWELVE**

**You Give me Something**

Muttering an expletive under his breath and running his hands over his face, Noah forcefully throws his mobile phone on top of his desk in frustration as he once again encountered the familiar voice from Rachel's cellphone company that he had grown accustomed to ever since they parted ways during Mike's party…

"The number you dialled is unattended… Please try again later…"

Shit! He had never hated a sentence as much in his entire life…

Sighing heavily, Noah closed his eyes as he leaned back against his office chair tiredly…

Trying to calm his fraught nerves as he once again put the events that had happened these past few days in perspective and sorting through the feelings of confusion that had been dogging him ever since the possibility of Finn and Rachel getting back together came to light… Noah clenched his fist in annoyance as once again he is left lost and without answers…

Has it only been three days? It felt like the longest three days of his life… When every second felt like hell and every minute a tortorous wait for Rachel to be ready so that they can finally talk about what happened and for him to know how she's exactly feeling…

Is she happy? Does she plan on getting back together with Finn? What about him? Does she feel anything for him? What exactly is she thinking?

The worry is eating away at him and he would go crazy if he does not get answers for yet another day…

The drive home from Mike's place was the exact opposite of their drive going there… Rachel was broody, contemplative… it was as if she had locked herself into her own world that no matter how much Noah tries to coax her out of it, she remains firmly tucked away there by herself…. unreachable and detached from everyone else…

Mustering up the courage to broach the topic about Finn and Quinn's breakup, Noah purposefully made his tone light… nonchalant… as if he was not waiting with bated breath to even just catch a glimpse of a flicker of emotion that she would show to give him a clue of what it is that she is exactly feeling and where this agreement is going to now that she seem to have gotten what it is that she wanted…

"Did Finn tell you?"

His question was met with silence… Rachel staring straight ahead as if she didn't hear anything…

"Quinn and him broke up…"

He trudged on… Bracing himself from the same wave of pain that he encountered when he saw Finn and her hugging earlier that evening the moment that he hears exactly from her mouth that that is exactly the reason why that scene happened…

"Yeah…."

She whispered… her expression perfectly schooled to show nothing… only her sudden swallowing the giveaway that she is greatly affected by this piece of news more than she's pretending to let on…

He did not know what prompted him to say the next thing that came out of his mouth… It might be nerves or the fact that he wants to defend himself from being hurt even before it happened but before he knew it, he was putting on a fake laugh as he blurted out…

"Well done Berry… so I guess your scheme worked… You guys getting back together now or what?"

She turned to look at him then…he does not know if he had just imagined it but there seemed to be a hurt expression in her eyes… However, it was only there fleetingly…The next second, she was already closing her eyes as she leaned tiredly against her seat…

"I'm tired Noah… do you mind if I go to sleep?"

She whispered under her breath… her voice monotonous…

And even before he can reply, she was already turning her back on him, curling up like a ball like she's closing herself off from him and just like that… they didn't exchange another word again until he dropped her off at her apartments doorstep…

The moment he turned into her driveway, Rachel sat up straight… a dead giveaway that perhaps she was just pretending to sleep all this time that they were on their way here… She unbuckled her seatbelt carefully… averting her gaze as Noah stared at her as if trying to read her mind… conveying with his eyes words that are left unspoken and hoping against hope that in the end even without him saying it, she would know of what's really in his heart…

"Thanks… for everything…"

She said… Meeting his eyes directly for the first time in hours before turning back yet again as her hands sought for the lever that would open the car door for her to finally give her the moment of peace that she'd been craving for herself…

"Rachel…"

His voice was soft… pleading… making Rachel pause midway as he continued talking to her…

"About… about us…"

She turned her head towards him, a wan smile on her face as she replied to him…

"I will be going away for a few days… We have that special performance for a fundraiser that I need to finish...let's talk about it when I get back… Okay?"

And without waiting for his reply, she opened the door, posing for flight as he called out to her once again…

"Are… are you…"

"PLEASE… NOAH PLEASE!"

She cuts him midsentence… her words firm… her tone quite harsh as if she was teteering at the edge of sanity and just one push would send her over …

She took a deep breath, closing her eyes as she calmed herself down before addressing him again…

"Just… just give me time to think… I'd … I'd see you when I get back…okay?"

And she kissed him tenderly on the cheek as if to make up for the sharpness of her words… She then alighted from his car and that was the last they talked or saw each other… Noah waiting for the moment when she'd show up at his doorstep or respond to his texts so that they can finally have their moment of truth and thresh out feelings that they feel for each other which he knows she's also reciprocating but quite unsure if she would be willing to do anything about…

Noah jerked himself back to the present as his musings were cut short by the ringing of his phone… An unregistered number flashing across the screen as he looked at it curiously… Forgetting about his personal worries for the moment and going back to business, Noah answers the phone formally

"Puckerman speaking…"

Listening to the voice on the other end of the line, Noah closes his eyes in frustration… There's really a saying that when it rains, it pours and as of this moment, everything seem to be pouring for him…

"Yeah… I understand… I'd be right there…"

Putting down the phone and grabbing his coat from the back of his chair without wasting a minute, Noah rushes out of his office to respond to the call he's just received…

Even if he's hurting and in his moment of weakness, he needs to buck up and be a man … Truthfully, he should remember that he is more than a person who's pining for Rachel as of this moment… He is a businessman… a boss… a friend… and at this time more than ever, he needs to forget Rachel if only for awhile as he gathered all of his willpower to be a pillar that Quinn can lean on now that she is also in her moment of need…

* * *

The smell of antiseptic was strong in the hospital room of Quinn's mom..

The woman who is now a former shell of her old self as she lay frail and still on her bed as various tubes hooked up to her offer her the support she needs in order for her to live…She is barely skin and bones and deathly pale as she battled with the disease that had eaten away her youth for the past ten years… A war that she had fought with valiantly throughout all these time but sadly, it seems like even if that was the case, her illness had triumphed and it is only a matter of time before it gets the better of her… for good, this time…

There was a somberness in the room as Noah stood staring at her… Looking at the woman who bore Quinn and whom Quinn had loved fiercely all her life… the woman whom she had hidden from the world by putting in hospice care throughout all these time not because she was embarassed of her but because she wants to protect her and keep her safe in the best way she knew how… Away from the prying eyes of the media… a private cross that she had bore throughout the majority of her young life…

Noah can still remember the first time that Quinn shared this secret with him…

They were seventeen and on summer break when she excitedly told him that she's going to let him meet her mom… He had been looking forward to it… not having the chance to really be close to his own mother, he had a vision of a socialite who is as vivacious as Quinn since she always spoke so fondly about her… In his mind, she is a proud mother coming home from another country to the States for the first time in order to congratulate her daughter who had made such a big name by herself as she looked after the family business just to be able to provide for her in the past…

Or so goes the story that Quinn had fed the press her entire career…

Nothing had prepared him for the truth… To say that he was surprised was an understatement…

When one looks at Quinn there are no traces of the suffering that she went through having to work hard by herself to support both her and her mother at such a young age… There was no sign of the stigma that she suffered when she was labelled an outcast because none of the people her age understood her drive nor her passion to succeed… None of the story behind why she capitalized on her pretty face at every chance she gets, even if that meant stepping on others just to get ahead …None of the lonely days when she was friendless… pushed away, laughed at or taunted…

There was no room in her life for self pity… There was only the drive to prove herself that despite the crappy luck that fate has dealt her, she will succeed… The same way that Noah had to prove himself to his parents that despite their lack of affection towards him he can live without it…

They were two people on the same boat… On the outside they have everything, but inside they have nothing… Life had given them a blow and they fought back, but in the process, they missed out on a lot of things… Things like emotions and feelings which took a backseat…and in the process they were never the same and no one can understand them better but each other…

He still remembered how she looked at him with that wide smile of hers… Bravely putting up a front that she's alright while tears pour unconsciously from her eyes…

"I only have you Puck… you and my mom…"

And perhaps it was that sentence that pushed them to try if they can really take their relationship a step further…

"I'm sorry Mr. Puckerman… "

The doctor in charge addressed Noah, bringing him back to the present…

"We all know how Ms. Fabray hates it when we impose on you but we've been trying to reach her and she's unreachable…"

Noah nodded …

"It's okay… I called her… she's on her way…"

The doctor nods at Noah before taking his leave… And as if his words brought her here Quinn arrived panting after a couple of minutes.. her face contorted with worry… tears running down her cheeks as she sobbed brokenly… She was still in full heavy makeup, still wearing the gown that she wore during her pictorial… a glamorous contrast compared to the severity of the occasion and the austereness of her sorroundings…

"Mom… Mother…"

She rushed past Noah, barely seeing him as her focus seem to be on the woman who is lying on the bed as she took a seat by her bedside and brought her skeletal hands to her face…

Sensing her presence… her mother opened her eyes… her mouth now downturned and greatly disfigured because of the stroke that she had just battled last year…

Her words came in between wheezes… a contorted smile lighting up her face as she looked at her daughter… A smile that reminded Noah of Quinn as she showed a brave front to the world despite the baggages that she is carrying…

"Hey Lucy Q… you came?"

Her voice came out slurred… as if she had put such effort to just be able to say those words…

"Of course mother…How could I not come when I miss you so much?"

Quinn wiped her own tears away with the palm of her hands… her tone upbeat as she pastes on a smile on her face, as she tried her best to look and sound happy…

"I miss you too.."

Her mother closed her eyes… resting a bit as she gave her daughter a gentle pat on the face and a smile…

"Thank you Noah… for taking care of Quinn… I hope you continue taking care of her, even when I'm gone…"

Quinn raised her head at Noah then… for the first time ever in the course of their relationship, this was the only time that she'd seen him look uncomfortable around her mother… Without a ready smile, without an answer…

Swallowing the lump that suddenly presented itself at the back of her throat which somehow made her want to cry again, Quinn scoffs at her mom as she brushed her hair away from her face…

"Mom… you shouldn't pressure Noah… I'm a big girl and can take care of myself…"

She scoffed…

"Besides, what are you talking about? You still have a long life to live… Should I lie beside you? Do you want me to sing you a song?"

She asked like a little girl as she laid down beside her mother… an irony if ever there was one as she looked more like a mother to her at that moment cradling her against her chest, than a daughter…

She hummed the first strain of her mother's favorite song, brushing away her hair tenderly as she lulled her to sleep… Noah takes the opportunity to slip away to give them time alone… a fact that he thought went on unnoticed, until Quinn lifted her head to look up at the door that he had just closed…

* * *

Closing the door of her mothers hospital room as gently as she could, Quinn took a minute to lean her forehead against it as she closed her eyes for awhile as if to collect herself…

Taking on a sharp intake of breath and putting on a calm façade, she straightens herself as she walked across the row of plastic chairs lining the hallway where Noah sat waiting…

She plopped down on the chair beside him… closing her eyes as she put her head back against the wall as if thoroughly exhausted…

"You okay?"

Noah asked softly… His voice putting a smile on her face once again just like any other time when she was badly broken and he seemed to be her only ray of sunshine…

"Ummm… "

She nodded vigorously before leaning her head against his shoulder…

"She's okay now… I have to get back to the shoot in awhile too… I just made an excuse about an emergency…Are you leaving too?"

Noah shrugged…

"Possibly… in awhile… "

She paused after giving another nod to acknowledge his reply… her tone a little more downcast than before…

"The doctors said she's getting worse… it might just be a matter of time…"

Noah nodded as he remained silent… A gesture that made Quinn smile sentimentally… He always knows of the right things to do… when to say something or not to say anything at all… And in this case, the latter seems to be the obvious choice since no words can alleviate the emptiness inside her…

"Thank you…"

She whispered…

"What will I ever do without you? You know I tried with Finn but even that didn't work out…"

She gave a self deprecating chuckle…

"Maybe, I'm not really meant to be with any other man but you… maybe, it's fate telling us that we should really be together… You're the only one I can depend on for everything… even that silly thing in the past with Rachel…"

She said the last words with dry wit… tentatively… as if she, herself is unsure about the circumstances sorrounding his relationship with her…

Noah stiffened… it is a matter that they have not really talked about… It was an assumption that Quinn had made on her part, that he dated Rachel because of her when to Noah, it was his own choice and nothing but a coincidence that happened at a certain point at the same time…

"A-about that…"

She lifted her head up to look at him…a frown of confusion marring her normally perfect forehead…

"Ms. Fabray"

The doctor calls out to her from across the station, making her jump to her feet even before Noah can say anything…

As he watched her walking away, Noah deliberated if now is the right time to tell her… That things are now different and they can never bring back the past because for the first time in his life he is through with settling and he wants to give his all to someone passionately?

As he ran his hands over his face in frustration, The large screen TV from across where he's seated caught his attention…

Rachel was onscreen… a perfect smile pasted on her face as she waved to the cameras while holding a bunch of roses in her hand…

_"After a successful number at yesterdays fundraiser for AIDS in Kodak Theater LA, Rachel Berry who is now a rising star as Evita in Broadway is slated to star as Fanny Brice in a Broadway adaptation of Funny Girl…_

_Expressing her excitement over being offered what she calls as a role of a lifetime… Rachel returned to New York this morning saying that …."_

Noah stood up from his seat… not even hearing the other words that the TV announcer was saying as soon as he heard she's back in New York…

She's back… she's here… And he can't wait another minute more to see her…

Grinning like a fool, Noah's steps were hesitant but light as he made his way towards the exit… There was no thought of what he wants to tell her or what they should talk about but just the thought that he misses her and he wants to see her…

There was a surprised look in Quinn's face as he met her coming back from the hallway…

"Noah! You're leaving now?"

He didn't even stop walking while shouting at her … talking to her while walking backwards with a silly grin plastered on his face that got her thinking…

"Ummm.. i… I have an emergency… I've… I've got to… got to go…"

And before she can say anything more, he was running off and then he was gone…

Quinn stood by herself in the empty hallway…her gaze straying to the TV across showing Rachel smiling and waving and even without him telling her where he's going, she knew…

She knew and there is a bitterness inside her that is slowly threatening to overwhelm her..

Everyone's leaving her… everyone.. . Finn, her mother, and now Noah… and once again she will be by herself…just like the way she was when her mother first got ill and she had no one…

She can't go back there again… never… She can give up anybody, Finn even without a second thought, but not Noah… Not him, who have given her so much and meant so much to her…

She had accepted it long ago that he will never love her the way she loves him but she can never let him go…

Just like how she fought for her mother's life, she will fight for him if that's what it takes… She will fight hard… until she bled, until she runs dry… she will even fight dirty if that is what is called for just to keep him by her side and damn if she would stop at anything just to make sure that she gets her chance at happiness which she had pinned on Noah eversince the day she first laid eyes on him…

* * *

With trembling hands, Rachel puts on the lock to her earrings as a final touch before placing her hands in her lap and staring at herself head on in front of her vanity mirror…

She looked calm… peaceful… The complete opposite of the nervousness she feels inside as butterflies dance around her stomach at the thought of meeting Finn a couple of hours from now…

She does not even know what she's worried about… It is Finn for goodness sake…

Her best friend, her first love, the love of her life… She should be giddy and excited and smug about her moment of triumph… She should be playing coy while he tells her once again how much he regretted leaving her and how he will make it up to her for the rest of his life…

This is all a part of her plan… the way she plotted for this whole fiasco to end… The grand finale in the greater scheme of things…

Didn't she want this so bad that she could almost taste it when she was imaginining it? so why now, when it's finally here does the thought of reconciling with him makes her sad?

She had always believed that this would be the natural progression of making up with Finn after their short break up…

During the first few months, when he first left her, she cried herself to sleep with only the thought of getting back together with him giving her the courage to move on and go on with her life… But that was before… Now, things have changed… Now she has Noah and she thinks she loves him like she'd never loved anyone else her entire life…

She thinks… and that is where the problem lie…

It would be easy to come up with a decision if she's sure about him and his feelings for her… He had been a good friend, a sweet dependable go to guy… the best rebound for a girl like her suffering from a major meltdown… But lately… lately she's been feeling he's more than that and that scares her…

What does she know about him anyway? Enough to know that they are as opposite as night and day… She thrives on feelings, he does not… She wants a commitment, he lives day by day…

She might be greedy to want the whole shebang… the happy ever after and the walk down the aisle… She wants children and to hold his hand till they're old and grey but what exactly can he offer her? She is through thinking that she can change someone…

This whole debacle with Finn taught her that lesson when it blew up in her face…

And if after awhile she finds herself longing for feelings that are as much as she could give? What then? She doesn't think she can go through another heartbreak again…

And what about Finn? God … what about Finn?

Is she really so shallow to throw away years of being with him because she suddenly developed feelings for someone who specifically told her not to in the first place? Can she afford to hurt him the same way he hurt her when she knows how it feels...

Finn and her? They had plans … and she loves Finn… He's perfect for her and she's really trying here to be happy and Finn can very well be the man who can give her that happiness…

They have a lifetime of memories… Noah and her have a couple of days… sweet, wonderful, happy couple of days…

She must be crazy… going crazy… What a fine mess she got herself in…

Rachel jerked in surprise as the ringing of the doorbell cut through her musings… a frown making its way into her forehead as she thought of who could be dropping in unannounced at this hour…

She flicked her wrist to look at her watch and saw that she had an hour until she's supposed to meet Finn…

Blowing on her bangs half in annoyance and half to calm herself down… Rachel walked towards her living room…

Opening the door nonchalantly without any qualms, her mouth drops in surprise as she saw Noah standing outside her door… His arms laden with bags and boxes as he looked at her with a sheepish grin on his face…

He stood opposite her drinking in the sight of her… She looked particularly good today in her light make up and her hair in a ponytail… It had only been three days but Lord, how he missed her… more so now than ever, when he finally realized how much he wanted her…

They stood across each other for a couple of minutes… both of them speechless…

Him, grinning like an idiot… Her, caught unaware by his presence…

Breaking the silence, Noah smiled shyly… juggling the items that he had in his hands while greeting her as if they've just met for the first time…

"Hi…"

She remained standing on the opposite side of the door… looking at him as if in a daze, wondering what he's doing there and today of all days…

Jerking herself awake from the thoughts inside her head… she returned his greeting and opened the door widely for him….

"H-hi… c-come in…"

Noah dropped the boxes that he had in his hands on her coffeetable… rubbing the back of his neck as he addressed her as if just suddenly realizing how pushy he seemed to have come uninvited and without waiting for her call like she told him to…

"I- Sorry… I - just heard from the news that you're back so I went here… I don't know what you wanted as well so there's coffee and cake and donuts and pizza and chocolates…"

Any other day, that gesture of his might have touched her… but now it adds on to the pressure that Rachel was feeling…

Without giving him an answer and awkwardly, she turned her back on him before going straight to the kitchen….

"I'm - I'm going out anyway… "

She called out…

"W-would you like some tea?"

Noah frowned… Feeling the tension and awkwardness in the atmosphere which gave him a dark sense of foreboding about things and suddenly made him turn serious…

"I have Earl grey and Jasmine and…"

"I didn't come here to have tea…"

He cut into her midsentence and she nodded as if in understanding, averting her gaze…

For the first time since he arrived, he noticed how dressed up she looked…

"Are you going out?"

He asked and she froze… like a deer caught in headlights and without asking he knew and he felt his chest tightening making it difficult to breathe as he slumped into her sofa while she looked at him with compassionate eyes…

"Noah -"

The ringing of the phone cut into the quietness of the room… Hesitantly, Rachel closed her eyes as if caught between wanting to explain to him and the insistent ringing of her mobile…

Sighing deeply, she fished her phone out of her pocket seeing Finn's name onscreen… She turned on her heel as she answered the phone… Noah following her back with his gaze as she walked towards the kitchen…

The conversation was over in a minute… a few seconds even… Taking deep breaths as if to pacify the war going on inside her, Rachel straightens herself up… like she was going for battle…

Finn was waiting and she can't keep him waiting…

Walking towards the living room, Noah remained seated… his head bowed down, a slump in his shoulders… Looking at his feet defeatedly while Rachel looked at him as if she wanted to cry…

But instead… she talked to him decisively… as if she had come to a conclusion and no matter what he says or do, nothing would change her mind…

"I-I have to go Noah… If you want to stay then stay but… I might be late - let's just talk some other day huh? Let's just set-"

Rachel crouched down to get her purse from the coffeetable… all the while rambling to mask the confusion she's feeling and to stick with the plan that she has already made…

"some other -"

The moment Rachel grabbed her purse, Noah grabbed on to her hand too… Rachel pausing midsentence in surprise as she looked at his hand gripping hers…

"Don't go…"

She lifted her eyes to meet his and Rachel took in a sharp intake of breath… they were pleading eyes… eyes that spoke to her… telling her of things that she'd miss if ever she lets this chance pass her by..

But Finn?

Rachel shook his hands off… laughing fakely as she made light of the seriousness of the situation that they're now facing…

"Alright… How about tomorrow? Let's have coffee or…"

She turned around, about to walk out the door when Noah suddenly stood up too and hugged her from behind… breathing into her neck and gripping her waist tightly as he pressed her to him in a backhug as if he does not want to let her go…

"Please Rachel… Don't go…"

With the last strand of willpower that she had left in her, Rachel breaks free from his grasp to face him… her chest now heaving in anger as she confronted him…

"What the hell do you think you're doing? What are we doing? Do you even love me Noah huh? Are you acting this way because you love me?"

"I DON'T KNOWWWWWWWWWW!"

He shouted back at her… running his hands over his head in frustration as he turned to look at her with desperate eyes…

"I just know that I can't let you go because I want you in my life…"

Rachel looked at him in shock… He gave a sarcastic laugh…

"You said it yourself… I was just coasting along and I don't wanna coast along anymore… I was coasting along my entire life and now? Now… This? "

He pointed to the floor in a wild gesture…

" This is not coasting… I am rollercoasting it…"

Rachel rolled her eyes in frustration…

"Oh God…"

Noah gripped both of her hands in his, looking into her eyes as he continued talking…

"Not oh god… this is a good thing… not the rollercoasting thing that's cheesy… but what we have is not cheesy… I want to be with you … that's the important part… I don't know what would happen or if this is love but don't you think it's worth a try? That this is something worth risking?"

Rachel snatched her hand away… tears of frustration now in her eyes…

"This is crazy! What the hell are we thinking? GOD!"

She shook her head violently…

"How could you ask me to give up something that I was sure of all my life and now just because you want me, you want me to throw my life away? On a whim? Because you…"

She made quotation marks with her fingers…

"You think you want me? GOD! What is going on?"

Noah had remarkably calmed down by now… he was just looking at her… not even convincing her anymore to listen to her but just wanting to tell her what's in his heart…

"Is it really important that I tell you now? Just because you want to hear me say it? That I love you? Can't we just find out together? I know you feel what I'm feeling too…"

She scoffed…

"That is a deceivingly big thing to say coming from you Noah!"

She spat out at him… taking two steps now going towards the front door…

Noah half laughed and half cried as he shouted at her…

"Why is it deceiving? I'm baring my heart and soul to you here…"

She turned to look back at him…

"Because we're not the same! You don't believe in Santa Claus or the tooth fairy or in the Easter Bunny and I do! You think love is trivial and I don't… I don't want to be hurt again… "

She said the last word as if it was a prayer… Noah looked at her tenderly… this girl who have wormed her way into his heart without him knowing about it and who broke down all his defenses until he has no choice but to be himself…

"I am trying my best here… This is me Rachel… I'm giving you the best that I could now but heaven knows I'd try my hardest if you only give me a chance…"

She sighed…

"I appreciate that you feel this could work more than you ever know… you are such a good person… such a special person… You helped me out so much during the time that I needed someone the most… Thank you…"

"DON'T PATRONIZE ME…"

He shouted back at her…

"I may not believe in Santa Claus or the tooth fairy or I may think Love is something coined by Hallmark to make a quick buck… but you know what? I believe in what I feel about you… It's you that don't believe in what you feel about me…I just wish you had as much guts as I have to say it… "

A single tear fell from her eye at that… A tear that she quickly brushed away as she put on a plastic smile…

"You have meant so much to me this entire time… but this doesn't make sense… Finn? He is a man that can plan with me and tell me what the future looks like…See? I can even predict that we'd get back together and he'd come back to me… even if he broke my heart… "

And just like that, she turned around to walk away…

"You know what I'm gonna miss the most?"

He shouted out at her... making her stop in her tracks…

"It's you… our friendship…"

She took a deep breath… not even turning back to look at him…

"Lock the door when you leave…"

She said in a whisper…

And just like that she was gone…

Noah looking on at the space where she was standing just a minute ago… unsure of what to do as for the first time in his life, as he felt a hollow ache in his chest which could have been heartbreak…

Coming to a decision after a couple of minutes and mustering up his last bit of courage, he strode towards the door to beg her, plead with her, run after her and do everything in his power just to make her choose him…

Opening the door, Noah stopped in his tracks in surprise… Because there in front of him… looking like a lost little girl with her head bowed down as she hugged herself… was Rachel…

She lifted tear filled eyes to him… an unsure smile on her face as she shrugged…half laughing and half crying…

"I don't know what we're doing or if this is right but damn… Let's try it? Rollercoast it?"

And Noah's knees almost buckled because of the relief and joy he feels as he pressed his lips to hers… closing the door as tears fell from her eyes and her mouth opened over his…

Her mouth is sweet, her breath like mint leaves and he groans like he's dying, gathering her up before she has a chance to think about what she's doing. She wraps her arms around his shoulders, hands coming together at the nape of his neck, and legs wrapping around his hips.

Like that the fire between them flares and rages out of control, consuming sense and caution. He holds her up by cupping her bottom and shoving her against her kitchen counter where they shared countless meals together…

Setting her down, he pushes until she's flat against the surface and stares down at her.

"I want you," he whispers urgently. "Now."

She reaches up and he falls on her, mouth opening over hers and her tongue flicking against his. He's hard and it hurts and then she reaches down to kiss his chest and it hurts even more. The kind of hurt that leaves him breathless and gasping driving him crazy, making her more eager for her.

"I love you…" she whispers against his lips and kisses him again so she doesn't have to hear the silence following her declaration.

She strokes him with her hand and with her tongue, making the back of his head fire with the age old need to be one with her, to claim her and leave his mark on her, in her.

He's been alone his entire life but he's had his fill of women and never has he felt like this, so overcome by desire and lust and need the way he is with her.

Only her.

_Only with you_, he thinks.

She tugs his shirt down while he cups her breasts, making her arch from the table with a gasp. Her neck and her chest turning pink as she flushed with desire and he breaks the kiss between them to trail his mouth down following the stain, licking and sucking her flesh as though he was starving..

She pushes him into a kitchen chair and he drops down…

Waiting.

Holding his gaze, she strips off the last bit of cloth covering her…

His breath leaves him all over again at the bare perfection of her body.

Straddling his chair, she lowers herself unto him looking into his eyes until he's one with her…

And so they danced the dance of love until they were spent… and once they were finished, she hugs his face to her neck… Her hair hiding their faces like a curtain as they try to catch their breath…

Once, they have recovered Noah carried her into his arms as he laid her on her bed… kissing the top of her forehead as he gathered his clothes and started dressing up…

With a frown of confusion, Rachel raised her head…Hugging the blankets against her, she looked at him while she spoke… her voice still raspy from their lovemaking…

"What are you doing?"

He looked at her in the middle of buttoning his shirt … a nonchalant expression on his face as if what he is doing is normal… everyday..

"Oh… it's just that I never stay the night… I'm never very good with things like cuddling or spooning.. or "

A look of annoyance crossed over Rachel's face…

"First of all, I'm not one of your other women…"

She spat the words out as if it were vile making Noah smile…

"Secondly… cuddling and spooning is part of my package… so either you get into bed and wake up with me or you don't get into bed with me anymore for the rest of your life…"

She said the words as if it's a threat… her action totally belying the harshness of her words as she opened the blanket beside her as if inviting him in…

Will he dare? Noah stood deliberating…

He who have bedded a thousand meaningless women but none of whom he even dared to commit waking up next to in the morning…

But this is Rachel… he takes her in then, her words registering in his brain and he smiles at her playfully, joyfully… taking off the shirt that he had just carefully buttoned as he laid beside her..

"Good… "

She mumbled… hugging him and burying her face in his neck, laughing softly, and closing her eyes as he hugged her back tightly…

Maybe there's a chance for them, he thinks. Maybe he really is in love with her…

He turned his head and gazes at the table that held their weight which was visible from her rooms open doorway… imagining the passion that they shared this evening but also imagining a different kitchen with a table where their children are eating with them…

And with a blissful smile Noah slept…

And somewhere in the West Village…in a restaurant by himself… Finn sat dejected… a humorless smile playing on his lips a he looked at the ring that he had specifically prepared for this evening and knowing that he'd never have the chance to give it to Rachel…

Not right now…

Perhaps, not ever…

* * *

**AUTHORS NOTE:**

_The number of comments you make for this fanfiction and the way that you have bookmarked this as your favorite story really makes me happy…_

_Please continue to leave reviews as it will truly inspire me to keep writing…_

_Do let me know what you think of this chapter! _


	15. You Must Love Me

**_CHAPTER THIRTEEN_**

Dressed in a white summer dress and gently strolling along a vast field of sunflowers with the tip of her fingertips grazing their beautiful blooms… Rachel tossed her head merrily as she crouched down to pick another one of the flowers to put inside her already brimming basket…

The meadow was in full bloom… a sea of yellow, cheerful blossoms dancing merrily against the soft, gentle wind that seemed to be giving it's blessing to her as it blows mildly on her face…

Raising her head up to the blue, clear skies that look as if it had been painted on, Rachel twirled merrily as she gave out a shout of laughter… Her arms outstretched and her eyes closed as she basked in the suns warm rays as if being reborn and freed for the first time…

Life had never been more perfect…

Opening her eyes, she sees a chihuahua come barreling towards her from across the field… With a wide grin, she bent down to pick it up in her arms as it eagerly lapped her up licking her all over her face paying special attention to her ears…

"Stop it…"

She squealed… Jerking to hide her neck in response to the ticklish sensations that she is now feeling from the constant sweeping motions that it's giving that sensitive spot… She swatted at her jaw, hoping against hope that the dog would get what she means and finally give her some peace…

…And then she felt it grabbing her left breast

WHAT?

Dogs don't have hands to hold on to breasts… What they have are paws and since when did this scenario turn from wholesome to soft porn?

Rachel gave a little frown as she swam her way back towards consciousness… Her left eye opening slowly as she gets accustomed to the early morning sunlight pouring in against her window… She was on her side and pressed up against Noah who is now leaning on his elbow with his right hand cupping her breast… His mouth playing erotic games on her ears as she once again felt the stirring of desire fire up within her as she felt his early morning erection press against her back…

"Again?"

She groaned… half breathlessly in disbelief at how Noah seemed to be so insatiable and mostly at how much she's reciprocating this with the same level of libido… A curious fact that she didn't believe herself to be capable of as previously making love was just an obligation that she had to fulfill as a doting girlfriend to keep Finn happy rather than because she enjoyed it as much …

However, sex with Noah was different…

He is a skilled lover… coaxing her with his mouth and hands to do things that she had never done before… to be confident of her body and use it in ways that she had never imagined that she can make it do before…

But more than that, it is with him that she had felt a deeper sense of connection in both body and spirit while he's inside her…When she can fully let go and just enjoy the sensations of the moment rather than think naively if what she's doing is right or if she is giving great pleasure to the man whom she is in bed with… to feel that she is opening herself up and surrendering herself fully to someone not just physically but also emotionally as he get to know her body as well as the innermost recesses of her soul… to reach that deep level of skinship where the joining of their bodies cease to be a thing of desire and lust meant solely for release but one where she can show him how much he means to her and how deeply she had learned to really, really trust and love him…

Turning around to face Noah, she cupped his face with the palm of her hands as he gave her soft kisses all over her face… his lips feeling like the soft wings of a butterfly as it landed lightly against her forehead first, then her eyes, her nose and finally her lips as if memorizing them…

Protesting mildly as he trailed his lips from her ears to the base of her neck… Rachel tossed her head back to give him more access to that patch of skin which is really a contradiction to the mild resistance coming out of her lips…

"I have- haven't even brushed my teeth yet…"

She said…half groaning and half moaning as he flicked his tongue at the throbbing pulse just above her collarbone…

"Who cares? Am I your dentist?"

He asked, chuckling… and as his lips trailed even lower to suckle at her breast, Rachel forgot everything except for the sensations that he is giving her for the fourth time now since yesterday evening as once again they made love…

Taking a moment to catch their breath and to steady their hearts when it was over, Noah rolls off Rachel with a groan as he laid flat on his back… his arms splayed over his head while grinning like a cat who got the cream…

"Sleeping in does have its merits… I think I can get used to this…"

He said teasingly…

Rachel sat up in bed, clutching the blankets close to her chest as she looked at Noah with an evil glare…

"What do you mean you can get used to it? You _HAVE _to get used to it… this will be the norm from now on if you really want to have a chance with me… Understood?"

Noah sat up too, looking at her in mock surprise… his eyes twinkling with humor…

"So you do have that scary side… Hmm… now you're making me regret my decision…"

Rachel's stare never wavered… her face full of seriousness as she looked at Noah with limpid eyes as she addressed him in a low voice…

"Seriously, Noah… I've already had my heart broken… I don't think I can go through another heartbreak anymore…"

Noah's face softened at how vulnerable she looked at that moment… Like a lost little girl who has found her second chance at happiness but who is now afraid of trusting her feelings too much because it might lead her once again towards a painful end…

Hugging her close to him, he kissed the top of her head lovingly… Putting into action the way he feels about her where words fail him… He held her on her bare shoulders and pushed her a little away from him…Looking deeply into her eyes as he took the first step forward towards a future that used to be uncertain but is now slowly beginning to take shape with her in it…

"I can't guarantee it but I promise I'd try my hardest to make you happy…"

She gave him another kiss then… hugging him close to her as she closed her eyes as if she never wanted to let go of him…

"I'm hungry…"

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He whispered in her ear… Rachel pulls back from him and looks at him in surprise… her eyes wide open in disbelief as if she couldn't believe what she just heard…

"B-b-but… we just finished and -"

Noah dropped back down on the bed laughing… Hugging Rachel close to him and raining kisses all over her face as if she is the cutest thing ever…

"For food… Silly!"

"Oh… Oh!"

She exclaimed as she pushed against his chest to sit up again… her cheeks blushing a deep red as Noah continued to look at her with amusement…

"Well… you should have told me earlier!"

She swatted him with a pillow which made him laugh even more before she pulled the blankets against her and dressed up in his shirt…

Once done, she padded barefoot into her kitchen as Noah went back to bed as he hugged her pillow against him with a dreamy smile on his face…

She tossed together something simple, toast and eggs and some leftover fruits that she had in her refrigerator… She put everything into a tray and went back into her room to serve Noah breakfast in bed…

The moment he saw her, he sat up against the pillow watching her... She went about her task meticulously as she served him before sitting cross legged from across him…her legs bare and in his shirt which made her look even more sexy than she already is, her face free of make up as she poured his coffee for him…

Feeling his gaze on her, she lifted her head to look at him… a curious expression on her face as his eyes remain planted on her…

"What?"

He took a moment to answer… drinking in the sight of her and feeling something that he had never felt before in his entire life…

"Now I understand… Really…."

She looked at him with a frown on her forehead… not understanding what he's talking about as she took a sip of her coffee and looked at him from above the brim of her cup…

"Why people stay the night… It's because of this…"

He shrugged…

"I've never seen you look more beautiful… I don't know if this is love but if there's a closest thing to it… this might be it… "

Rachel put down her cup slowly… oddly touched by Noah's confession even if it was not exactly an open declaration of love…

"Noah-"

Shaking his head as if he had said too much… Noah lifted the cover off the breakfast dish and cracked a joke as if to ward off anything that Rachel might be saying to that… Quickly retreating into his shell to protect himself should his declaration be met with a denial as if already letting himself down gently even before he knows how she'd reply…

"So… what? We become lovers and now you don't even put any effort into cooking for me? This is all I get? Toast?"

Rachel looked at his bowed head as if trying to read through him… Coming to a decision that since it had taken him years to build his walls of defenses, then she will also be tearing them down slowly… Going through them one by one gradually until he learns to open himself up again to the possibility of investing his feelings in her and putting his trust in her the way she also wants to trust him…

Smiling gently and her eyes twinkling mischievously, she put on a mock air of arrogance as she replied to him…

"Well, if you didn't tire me out, then probably you would be eating French toast just about now…"

He laughed out loud at that… his eyes full of silent gratitude at how she seem to be trying her best to ease him in to things foreign to him such as being open about how he truly feels about her…

Chewing on her toast thoughtfully, Rachel looks at Noah expectantly…

"So what do we do today?"

Noah paused midchew as he looked on at Rachel with a confused expression before answering the question tentatively like it was a trick…

"Well- I have work… I am meeting new investors at 11 and I'd have a board meeting by 3…"

He flicked a glance at the clock that was right at Rachel's bedside table…

"In fact, I have to get going if I'm going to make it on time today… Don't you have things to do at the theater today?"

Narrowing her eyes at him, Rachel shook her head slowly as if disbelieving that he could be so dense…

"I know you're new at this but aren't there occasions in your life when you played hooky? When you just kicked off for the day just because?

"When I was in high school perhaps…"

He said pensively… as if now that he's older, the thought had never even once crossed his mind…

Rolling her eyes in exasperation, Rachel blurted out frustratedly…

"Don't you think today is one of those days? When we can finally go out and really call it a date?"

Noah jerked his head up to look at her… an interested look now coming across his face…

"A date?"

He paused as if to think hard about it… a doubtful expression on his face…

"Yeah… a real date… when we don't have to pretend to be lovers anymore and where we'd go out because that's what we really want to do…"

Noah looked on at Rachel with a nervous expression… seemingly at a loss as to how to go about going out with her the way she wants to…

Rachel rolled her eyes in exasperation before saying confidently…

"I have an idea… leave it to me…"

And she looked at him with a secretive smile playing against her lips …

Noah inwardly groans at how much she's got him around her fingers that she could make him agree to things that he had never done before such as delegating his tasks at work or calling for a day off…Somehow he knew that if she does this to him as early as now, the longer their relationship lasts, the more that he would be putty at her hands…

However, what surprised him most was not that fact but the fact that he welcomes the idea… in fact, he's never been more willing to try everything and give her everything even if the truth lies that the mere thought of giving his whole heart and soul to her is enough to still scare the crap out of him…

* * *

"Are you sure? This is what you want to do?"

Noah leaned against the steering wheel as he looked at the malls vast parking lot as if it was foreign to him…

Beside him in the passenger seat was Rachel… She is dressed down in denim shorts and a hoodie which is now covering her head and sneakers…

Noah looked at his get up and didn't know whether to laugh or cry… He was wearing the same sweater that Rachel was wearing… a replica of the same outfit that she has on although, the male version… He doesn't know when she's had the time to buy the couple sweaters but she said she's been keeping it in her cabinet for a long time for such an occasion…

Although the thought that she was saving it for Finn briefly crossed Noah's mind, he dispelled the thought easily as he should know better how to accept that he's part of Rachel's past and forever will be…

He knows that it is also something which she can't easily forget as he noticed her having a far off look of worry when she checked her cellphone this morning probably still burdened by the fact that she chose to stay with him last night instead of meeting Finn…

What should matter to them now is the present and although they are just starting out, he is keeping his fingers crossed that in time, he will be able to make peace with his ghosts and that moving forward, they can build a future that would wipe out all the hurt in the past that each of them had gone through, most especially now that they have each other…

Nodding vigorously with a wide grin on her face, Rachel claps excitedly at the prospect of walking around all day in the mall with Noah…

Noah looked at her and felt his heart overflowing with happiness it scares him almost… It seemed so sinful... so extravagant to feel such affection for a person that he's afraid it will come at a cost…

Unbuckling his seatbelt like he's being forced to, Noah doesn't know if Rachel can see through him that even if he acts nonchalant about this day, at this point, he's sure that he would be willing to go to the ends of the earth for her if only she tells him to…

Opening her car door for her, Rachel grabs on to his arm after as she went down from the car… Her arm entwined with his as if she never wanted to let go as Noah looked on at her with a tender expression on his face…

Walking arm in arm with her, Noah felt his worries wash away… as he looked at her bright smile and how happy she is, he knew that no matter where they go or what they do, he will always enjoy it as long as they do it together…

Their first stop was the arcade… Rachel and him played against each other in all kinds of competitive games which gained the attention of passersby as Rachel beat his ass in all kinds of machines that were there… A fact that might have stroked his ego in the past but with her, it didn't matter since he's more fascinated with watching her laugh…

After an hour, Rachel decided that they should watch a movie... a little argument ensuing between them as Noah wanted to watch an action film and she wanted to watch a chickflick…

In the end, Noah bought tickets for a documentary earning Rachel's ire as she looked at the opening credits while hugging her tub of popcorn close to her…

"The Secrets of Wall Street? Seriously, Noah… I thought we're going to watch Something Borrowed?"

She looked at him with an accusing glare… Noah shrugged… wanting to smile at how petulant she looked but forcing  
himself to make sure that he keeps his expression blank…

"Well, since we can't decide on anything, isn't it more fair this way? At least none of us wins…"

She made a face at that… muttering under her breath as she shoved popcorn in her face…

"What? Since we're officially together now, no more private movie theatres for me? Pshhhh… and what the heck is this movie?"

She sipped on her soda loudly and violently… Making the other moviegoers from two rows in front of them look at her in annoyance as Noah pouted…

"I heard that… if you probably cooked me French Toast this morning then you would probably be watching whatever you want in a private movie theater right about now…"

She paused at that… looking at him as if trying to decipher if he is telling her the truth…

"Petty Puckerman… That's so petty… I forgot how childish you can sometimes be…"

"SSSHHHHHHHH!"

Once again, the people in front of them shushed at them… their faces full of frustration that they both fell quiet but burst out laughing again once their eyes met…

Rolling their eyes in frustration, the group in front of them gave up and moved further away… A fact that Noah welcomed with relish as he removed the popcorn from Rachel's hand as she followed his actions with her gaze in confusion…

"Wh—What do you think you're doing?"

"Well, there's a reason why I picked this movie and there is something that I've always wanted to try…"

He said in a voice smoky with desire as Rachel backed up against her seat…

"Wh-What?"

"This…"

And he put his lips on hers and they spent the next two hours making out in the moviehouse… Rachel feeling her lips with her fingers once the lights were on as she can barely feel them due to the fact that they were swollen and looking as if it was stung by a bee…

"Oh my god! Look what you did! I may never kiss again…"

Noah laughed at her… his lips almost in the same state as her looking as red as tomatoes…

"I just have the cure for that…"

And Noah dragged her by the hand again to buy her some ice cream…

They spent the next couple of minutes strolling around the mall… walking hand in hand as they eat their ice cream cones and to look at display windows while they have fun like any ordinary couple together…

A couple of minutes later, Rachel stopped in front of a huge billboard… looking at it with a dumbstruck look on her face as Noah tugged on her arm, looking back to see what got her attention and why she suddenly stopped…

Noah's expression suddenly darkens as he saw what Rachel was so fascinated with…

Licking her ice cream cone as if in a daze, Rachel was ogling at a poster of Chris Hemsworth in all his delicious, naked glory… ab muscles bulging as he pouted in front of the camera sexily… his thumbs slung on the belt loops of his already low jeans causing it to go even lower…

Tilting her head sideways with a smile on her face, Rachel looked at the poster closer… Noah leaning against it with his arms crossed against his chest as he watched her… A dark scowl now marring his previously carefree expression...

"Found anything you fancy? You like that? "

Rachel looked at him from under her lashes… Her eyes dancing with humor as she led him on…

"What's not to like?"

Noah looked at the poster then scoffed…

"So you like dumb beefcakes, who knew?"

Rachel almost burst out laughing at how Noah now looks like a petulant child whose favorite toy had been taken away…

He was obviously doing his best not to look at the moviestars chiseled perfection but his eyes keep getting drawn to the poster again and again…

"Gosh… I wish I could get to meet him in an awards show or something… He's to die for… "

Rachel said… shaking her head slowly as if disbelieving what she's seeing…

"PSSSH…. There's obviously a lot of photoshop going on there! And besides he must have undergone surgery…"

Rachel disregards him… Smiling deliciously at every second that Noah grows even more jealous of someone that she doesn't even know or have never even met…

"If he'd ask me out I'd say yes… _THAT _is perfection…"

Noah looked at her sarcastically…

"Are you stupid? Don't you know how to tell if someone is on steroids? Now, this is all natural…Do you know how long I spend in the gym just to get abs like this…"

He lifted his sweater to show her… Rachel looking around in embarrassment as passersby stop and stare at him while

Rachel does her best to pacify him as she pried his hand off his shirt to bring it down again…

"Noah…!"

She muttered at him as she smiled to the passersby in apology before dragging Noah by the hand…

"He's crazy… don't mind him…"

"What? I thought you like that? Jerk…"

He mumbled… looking back at the picture again before looking at her irritatedly as Rachel grinned from ear to ear…

"Alright… Alright… no one is as hot in my eyes as you are… I'd go blind if that's what you want… happy now?"

She said exasperatedly as Noah smiled, putting his arms around her…

"You got it babe…"

He said right away with a smile as Rachel laughed… hanging on to his hand as he pressed her closer to him… thinking to herself that she's never had as much fun in her life…

And so they spent the rest of the succeeding days just like that… both of them lost in a world of their own as they bask in the joy of a love that's just been discovered…

Rachel seeing Noah sometimes staring at her as if he wanted to tell her something and yet when she asks him about it, he would just shake his head and give her a kiss and a tight hug as if he never wanted to let go of her…

There are days when Rachel longs for him to say the words back at her… When they are lying pensive and quiet as they cuddle in bed… However, she leapt into this relationship with eyes wide open and though he doesn't say he loves her… Deep in her heart she feels it… that his love for her is as much as her love for him and for the meantime, she could not ask for anything more…

Soon… she tells herself… soon…

As for Noah, he is starting to get used to opening himself up and being in a real relationship… not the kind that he had with Quinn where most of the concern stemmed from years of genuine friendship but one where he feels possessive about Rachel and passionate about her because he wants her to be his and no one else's… He had not been in his home for about three days already because somehow the thought of being away from her seem to make him ache with longing even if she is just right beside him…

They spent their days baring their hearts, their lives, their dreams and wishes to each other and the nights learning each others body like it was a map… Sometimes, they'd lay in bed not even making love and just sharing stories and their plans for the future until they fall asleep… an exercise that until now was unknown to Noah but with Rachel it was almost as good as making love…

Oftentimes, he wanted to put into words already how he feels about her… but there is still an uncertainty within him that keeps him from saying it, especially when she mentions Finn and she would suddenly turn quiet like even just talking about him makes her sad…

It is during those times when his insecurities come out… When he thinks if he is good enough or if he has what it takes to give her the kind of love that she had with him once upon a time or even to surpass that perhaps…To make her do everything in her power to get him back seemed to make Finn pretty special… Will she regret her decision to choose him in the future? Will he be able to love her as much?

But still, they try to take things one step at a time… to build their foundation slowly and surely… to make sure that it is strong enough to weather the storms that they still have to face but none of them could have predicted that it would be tested earlier than they've expected…

A test that would eat at the very basis where they built their relationship on and make them question the very existence of the love that they say they have for each other… A testament that no matter how they try to look forward to their future together, it is still their unresolved past that would continue to haunt them…

* * *

The incessant ringing of his cellphone woke Noah up from sleep… beside him Rachel lay with her back to him… her head resting on his arms as she breathed evenly signifying that she's deep in slumber…

Squinting against the darkness of her bedroom, Noah looked at Rachel's bedside clock and saw that it was 1:58 in the morning…

Christ! Who could be calling him at this hour…

Easing his arm gently from underneath Rachel so as not to wake her up, Noah felt for his cellphone as he sat up in bed stifling a yawn as he opened his mobile…

"Hello?'

He whispered unto the phone… his voice still raspy from being in bed as he talked in low tones to make sure that he doesn't wake Rachel up…

Rachel opened her eyes then and was about to turn around when he uttered a name that kept her in place as she lay still…

"Quinn … What's wrong?"

There was worry and concern in his voice… a tension that was palpable about him as he immediately woke up, tossing one last glance at Rachel before padding barefoot into her living room, his phone pressed against his ear…

Rachel felt her heart slamming into her chest… an apprehension coming over her that she can't explain…

She could have asked him right now what's wrong but there's a voice inside her head that told her to just lie still and pretend that she's still asleep…

Rachel shut her eyes the moment that she sensed her presence back at the room… Hearing him mutter expletives under his breath softly as if he didn't know what to do… Mustering the courage to finally turn around and face him, she sat up in bed pretending that she didn't hear anything…

He was already dressing up… his back to her as he put his shirt on…

"Where are you going?"

She asked tentatively…

He spun around in surprise… his eyes meeting hers first before averting her gaze…

"There's ahhh… there's an emergency at work… I have to go right now… I'd text - call- text you once everything's settled… I'd- I'd talk to you then…"

And even before she can respond, he was already kissing her cheek and was gone… barely putting on his shoes as he almost ran out of her house…

Rachel looked at the space where he was just lying down a few minutes ago and felt a sudden emptiness envelop her… the same feeling she got two weeks prior to Finn telling him that he's met someone else…

The someone else who turned out to be the same woman who had just called Noah today…

"Cmon Rachel!"

Rachel slapped her forehead as she tried to put on a smile for thinking silly thoughts… telling herself over and over again that Noah can be trusted and that there's a rational explanation for everything…

Shrugging off the negative thoughts that are in her head, Rachel laid back down in bed as she convinced herself that tomorrow - tomorrow Noah will text her and tell her what's wrong…

But despite the pep talk, despite the positive reinforcement... Rachel still tossed and turned in bed and was not able to get one wink of sleep at all for that evening…

* * *

Slumping weak kneed on the hospital bench as the doctors finished talking to her, Quinn stifles her sobs as Noah looked on at her with a compassionate look on his face…

Without a word he sat down beside her to give her comfort… Quinn immediately clinging to Noah like she was drowning and like he was the only thing that she can hold on to for dear life as she let her grief wash over her in great waves…

"How could she be in a coma? Why is it so fast? Just a few days ago they said she might make it for six months… I was just talking to her on the phone this morning and—"

Quinn sobbed on Noah's shoulder… Noah hugging him close to her as she cried all her worries out while he patted her consolingly at her back…

"I was so afraid Noah… I called your house but you were not there and your secretary said you've not been in the office for a long time… How would I do it without you? I thought you have abandoned me and I don't know what to do…"

She lifted tear filled eyes to him… a look of guilt passing over Noah's face at the thought that she was alone in her moment of need... When he was at his happiest and not even having a single thought or couldn't even care less about how she is or how she might have been doing…

_To her…_

His one and only best friend…

The person who had stood beside him through the toughest times of his life…

Swallowing hard and bracing herself, Quinn wiped her tears away as she looked on at Noah fiercely…

"This… this is obviously a case of malpractice… right Noah? There must be some error somewhere… We need to save her… help me, Noah… Please? Help me?"

She clutched at straws desperately… Looking at him pleadingly as she began to sob pitifully…

Noah puts on a smile as he shushed her… Nodding his head in agreement to her request in order to appease her…

"Alright… I'd look into it…"

Crying as if her heart would break, Quinn threw her arms around Noah…

"Thank you… I know I can depend on you…Thank you… I love you Noah… I love you…"

And as Quinn unlocked her arms from around Noah… She stared at him… looking at how he seemed to be in front of her, promising to be there for her and yet he seemed so far away…

Her heart slamming against her chest, Quinn felt her forehead as she suddenly got dizzy… her last thought was of how her world would never be the same without Noah, before her world spun into darkness and she blacked out right in front of him…

* * *

Rachel puts down her mobile as if in a daze… sighing deeply in frustration before she laid her cheek sadly against her arms which were resting on her lap …

From a distance Kurt watches her as he flipped through a playbill… a look of concern written on his face as he looked at Rachel's forlorn expression…

"Still can't reach him?"

He asked… Rachel closed her eyes swiveling her chair listlessly as she nodded at him slowly…

"it's been four days… I don't even know where he is…"

She said in a monotonous voice… like she had spent all her energy the entire time worrying about him that she had now ran out of steam…

Kurt puts on a fake smile… trying his best to be upbeat and peppy as he lifted Rachel's spirits…

"Maybe he's busy… maybe he wanted to call you or text you but there's no signal where he is—- Maybe…"

Rachel smiled wanly at that… Appreciating Kurt's efforts despite the fact that she is slowly being eaten away by her insecurities as she thought of where Noah really might be…

"Thanks Kurt… can we make runs and practice this part right here?"

She pointed to a part in her script…

"Please?"

Kurt paused for a moment as if wanting to say something more but then quickly nodded at their musical director and he started playing the piano while Rachel's voice filled the empty theater…

_Where do we go from here?  
This isn't where we intended to be  
We had it all, you believed in me  
I believed in you_

_Certainties disappear_  
_What do we do for our dream to survive?_  
_How do we keep all our passions alive,_  
_As we used to do?_

_Deep in my heart I'm concealing_  
_Things that I'm longing to say_  
_Scared to confess what I'm feeling_  
_Frightened you'll slip away_  
_You must love me_  
_You must love me_

And as the words of the song hit her, against her will, Rachel felt tears in her eyes as unbidden thoughts of Quinn and Noah flashed through her head when they were at Mike's summer house…

Of how perfect they seem together and the closeness that they shared and how the truth came out of Quinn's mouth when she said she's still in love with him…

She thought of the stories of their friends of how they have built memories together that seem to have been strengthened by time…

She remembered Finn asking her what they were doing there and if she had indeed made the right choice trusting Noah…

And as she sang the last lines of the song, Rachel hopes with all her heart that she can make Noah love her so…

She prays with all her might that she can make him do so…

* * *

Noah passed his hands over his face in frustration as he checked his cellphone for what seemed to be the fifth time as he sat by himself in Quinn's study …

He was tired and he looked haggard… He had barely slept for the past four days talking to several doctors about the condition of Quinn's mother as well as pulling strings in different research institutes if they can possibly find a cure for her…

Adding to his list of worries was Quinn's condition… The stress had gotten to her pretty badly when her mother got worst, that she fainted… A fact that the doctor said can be remedied by bed rest and plenty of sleep and since she only had her PA to take care of her, Noah shuttled back and forth between the hospital and her home to take care of all her needs…

It was the least he can do for her in this situation… After all, there is no one else she can trust but him and he promised her all those years ago… A promise that he had no intention of breaking especially now at a time when she needed someone most…

However, that doesn't change the fact that he misses Rachel terribly…

Too many times he was tempted to call her or text her just to explain to her what's happening… But how can he do that when he can't even tell her what he's really doing? It would have been easier if the secret is his to share, but since it's not, all he could do is to cross his fingers and wish that he'd trust him enough that he's doing the right thing even if he doesn't give her any explanation…

He hopes that in time he can explain everything to her when all this is over… when he doesn't have to lie and make up excuses and he'd also probably talk to Quinn about the adjustments that they have to make in their friendship now that he's committed…

Thank God, Quinn seemed to have already recovered… Hopefully, by tomorrow or the next day he can take a break from all these and visit Rachel already…

Leaning his head tiredly against his seat and almost drifting off to sleep, Noah was roused awake by a soft knock on the door…

Opening his eyes slowly, he saw Quinn with a tray in her hand, a cup of coffee in the ready for him as he immediately stood up to help her…

"You okay? Should you be doing this by yourself?"

He asked in a voice full of concern and she smiled at that…

"I'm good Noah… I am getting better… thanks to you… "

She sat on the edge of the table… a pensive look on her face as she asked Noah…

"How's- how's your mom?"

Noah sighed… looking at Quinn's scared eyes and ruffling her hair to ease her worries…

"She's tough- just like her daughter… she's hanging in there…"

Quinn smiled slightly at that … Momentarily forgetting all her problems as she looked at Noah with love in her eyes…

Noah smiled back at her… Unaware of the affection that Quinn had been keeping for him all these years… of a love that she had tried to downplay since it is better to have a part of Noah than not have him at all… Waiting for a chance to have that moment again that she could grab at for them to start all over again…

And so what if his love for her is not the same as her love for him? She had enough that it will more than make up for whatever lesser scrap of emotion it is that he'd be able to give her…

She had tried with other men… Not just Finn… to look for the kind of love and affection that he gives her but still, she is left wanting… no one stays… not one of them… and at the end of the day, she comes home to Noah and still it is only him that makes her feel as if she had somebody… like she is not alone in this world…

Quinn gave a little shiver as she suddenly felt cold at the thought of losing him altogether… Rubbing off the goosebumps that suddenly raised all over her arms as she hugged them close to her…

Throwing an anxious look at her, Noah puts down his cup of coffee as he watched Quinn concernedly…

"Are you sure you're alright? You're shaking…"  
She shrugged… putting on a smile on her face to make sure that she kept her emotions hidden to herself…

"Just a little cold that's all… the heater does not seem to be working…"

Taking one last sip from his coffee cup, Noah sits her down… Putting both his hands against her shoulder, as he takes action once again…

"I'd look at it… have a rest first… I'll wait for you to sleep before I leave…"

Rubbing her face against his hands, Quinn whispered…

"Thanks…"

Noah immediately withdraws his hands as if he was burned… a strange atmosphere permeating the room as he averted his gaze as if he can't wait to get away from her presence…

"I-I'd check on the boiler…"

And without a second glance at her, he left the room…

Quinn expelled a huge breath of disappointment as he left … Watching him walk away with her eyes and not thoroughly understanding it but feeling as if he's slowly changing and drifting further away from her…

Leaning over the table, Quinn gently caressed his laptop with a slight smile on her face… Her hands faltering as she saw his cellphone lying against the table…

Quinn looked at the study rooms open doorway… Dare she? Would she?

With tentative fingers she grabbed the phone… scrolling through his messages slowly and feeling her face drain of color… her knees going weak feeling as if she'd faint all over again…

In his messages was a message that he was typing midway… a few sentences perchance but one that solidified her belief that if she does nothing, Noah will totally become estranged to her…

**_"What you doing Rachel?… I miss you… four days feels like a lifetime… Sorry if I'm not able to tell you what's been happening but I hope you put your trust in me… I will-"_**

_Rachel.  
_  
The name feels like a curse to her…

Noah has had his share of women in the past but none like her… None that was a threat enough that she feels her position in his life wavering…

Trust? Rachel is weak. How can she trust someone when she doesn't even trust in herself?

It had taken her but a few tries to take Finn away from her and like a fool, she stood by and did nothing…

She is different…

_Quinn Fabray is different…_

She would not stand by and watch that silly woman take away what is most important to her… not the only person whom she loved as much as her life or who have given such importance to her… the kind that matters… the kind that makes her feel that there's meaning in her existence…

Dropping the cellphone and seeing Noah's wallpaper change to a smiling image of the girl whom she is just thinking about, Quinn clenched her hands into fists by her side…

It's time for her to take action.

To get back what's rightfully hers.

It's time that she steps up.

It's time to pay Rachel Berry a visit.

* * *

_**Apologies for the long interval in between chapters but i hope that this installment more than made up for it...**__**Once again, comments are encouraged... Please, please, please leave a review... It will REALLY make my day... :)**_


	16. Tell Me On a Sunday

**TELL ME ON A SUNDAY**

_Don't write a letter when you want to leave_  
_Don't call me at 3 a.m. from a friend's apartment_  
_I'd like to choose how I hear the news_  
_Take me to a park that's covered with trees_  
_Tell me on a Sunday please_

_Let me down easy_  
_No big song and dance_  
_No long faces, no long looks_  
_No deep conversation_  
_I know the way we should spend that day_  
_Take me to a zoo that's got chimpanzees_  
_Tell me on a Sunday please_

_Don't want to know who's to blame_  
_It won't help knowing_  
_Don't want to fight day and night_  
_Bad enough you're going_

_Don't leave in silence with no word at all_  
_Don't get drunk and slam the door_  
_That's no way to end this_  
_I know how I want you to say goodbye_  
_Find a circus ring with a flying trapeze_  
_Tell me on a Sunday please_

_I don't want to fight day and night_  
_Bad enough you're going_  
_Don't leave in silence with no word at all_  
_Don't get drunk and slam the door_  
_That's no way to end this_  
_I know how I want you to say goodbye_

_Find a circus ring with a flying trapeze_  
_Tell me on a Sunday please_

**CHAPTER FOURTEEN**

Blowing her bangs out of her face and juggling two bags full of groceries, Rachel leaned forward with much effort just to be able to punch in the password to the door of her apartment…

She is not particularly hungry nor really in any need of supply to her recently stocked pantry that's why she's going through the effort of carrying bread, eggs and milk that she can buy from any convenience store… rather, it's the thoughts that are in her head that prevented her from going home right away after coming from the theater and thus making her end up in a supermarket though truth be told, she really has nothing to buy…

Rachel had actually planned to stay till late at work, keeping herself busy so as to stop herself from missing Noah too much… However, the realizations that she had that afternoon while practicing her solo had thrown her for a loop…

Though she tried to keep it off her head, she found herself thinking about those odd memories that won't stop pestering her over and over in the silence of her empty dressing room… Nearly suffocating her and making her long to be someplace else where it's mind numbing, bright, crowded and noisy...

That used to do the trick when she was still with Finn… Going to a place like that and letting herself get lost among the hustle and bustle of people… But sadly, Noah does not really seem the type of person whom she can easily forget just by reading off the nutritional contents of a cereal box…

Did Noah really not forget? All these years and still, Quinn and him had remained the closest of friends…

What about her?

Did she?

Why is it that even if she's happy with Noah, she can't help but still get worried over Finn?

Why is it that there's a longing inside her for them to remain friends just like how Noah is with Quinn?

Did they both jump into this too soon? Was their relationship something that they should have taken more time to consider before leaping into it with both of their eyes closed?

Expelling a huge sigh of breath, Rachel pushed the door of her apartment as her eyes widened in shock…

All of the lights inside her house were turned on…

She can hear sounds coming from the kitchen and against her will, she found her heart slamming into her chest at the thought that someone had broken in and she suddenly had a frightening realization that she is unarmed and all alone…

Cautiously approaching her foyer and stealthily putting down her purse and the grocery bags on top of her entrance table, Rachel walked on tiptoe as she grabbed hold of an umbrella from the stand near the door… She bit on her lips to keep herself from screaming in anxiety as she moved forward to check on the stranger who have had the audacity to trespass into the personal space that she calls home…

Pressing herself against the walls of her aparment and making sure to make no sound at all, Rachel moved forward going towards the kitchen as she raised the umbrella above her head getting ready to attack first before asking questions later…

However who she saw made her stop in her tracks… Her arms falling limply to her side as with his back to her and still unaware of her presence, stood Noah… He was busy cooking, whistling a familiar tune as he went about the job steadily…

The umbrella in her hands fell to the floor with a thud, Noah whipping around to see what made the sound as his face first registered surprise before he gave a wide grin as he saw her standing there…

"You're home? Was traffic bad?"

He said with familiarity… like it had not been four days that they have not talked to each other or seen each other…

Rachel remained stoic… her gaze never leaving his face as she drank in the sight of him… He looked haggard… dark circles rimming his eyes and a growth of a five o clock shadow framing his previously clean shaven face… There was a definite slump to his shoulder that made him look as if he had the burden of the world on him… His smile belying the tiredness in his eyes that only sparkled when he first saw her…

Noah's face slowly changed to one of worry as Rachel remained unmoving… his brows knitting in confusion as he asked her tenderly…

"Is something wrong? Hmmm? Rachel?"

And even before he can put down the ladle in his hand to walk towards her, she was already barreling towards him… a stifled sob rising in her throat as she threw her arms around his neck as she hugged him tightly to her as if she never wanted to let him go… Great big sobs now wracking her shoulders as she cried all her frustrations away on his shoulders…

"What's wrong huh? Did something happen at work? What?"

Noah's voice was full of tender concern… his hands moving comfortingly over her back as she continued to cry…

"Jerk! Do you know how worried I was?"

She hit him repeatedly on the chest while Noah stood there unflinching and when she was all spent, she pushed herself away from him to look worriedly at his face…

"Are you okay? You alright?"

Noah smiled at the tenderness in her voice… her tone a definite contrast to the scolding way that she had just greeted him…

Noah felt a lump of emotion block his throat at the intensity of his feelings for her… at how much she missed him as much as he missed her and for the first time in his life, he wished that circumstances were different… that he could just tell her about Quinn's mom and what he's been doing for her without betraying the trust of his best friend…

Wiping her tears away with the back of her hands like a little girl, Rachel cuppedis cheek as she took her fill of him…

He looked as if he lost weight… the fatigue that he must have gone through evident in the way he carried himself…

"You look tired… Are you sick? Do you want to go to the hospital? Do you even eat?"

Her voice was full of tender concern as she looked at him lovingly… All her doubts and questions seemingly washing away the moment she saw him…

Noah turned his head towards her palm… closing his eyes as he gave it a gentle kiss before putting his hands over hers and tenderly pulling it down to her sides while still holding on to it…

"I missed you…"

He told her while looking onto her eyes… Rachel nodded vigorously as she stared at him looking as if she's about to cry once again…

"Me too…"

That earned a chuckle from Noah as he hugged her close to him once again… Rachel's arms encircling his waist as he kissed the top of her head tenderly…

"Have you eaten? do you want me to prepare something for you?"

She asked… her voice muffled by his chest as she continued to hold on tightly to him as if she will never be parted from him again…

Noah pushed her away from him gently… a smile lighting up his face as Rachel looked at him curiously…

"I have already done the honor… "

He said with a mock curtsy as Rachel saw in plain view several plates of food that were already prepared on the kitchen counter looking very appetizing…

She gave a deep sigh of regret…mumbling under her breath…

"I should have done it for you…"

Noah turned her around by placing his hands on her shoulder… pushing her forward towards the kitchen counter as he sat her down before putting a napkin on her lap…

"It's okay… I have never served you before… I am yours for tonight…"

Rachel smiled at that… the mood lightening considerably as she patted Noah on the butt which made him jerk in surprise… his eyes twinkling as he turned to look back at her…

"No harassing the chef!"

He wagged his fingers at her making her laugh…

At this moment, she could almost forget the past four days that went by… It was as if he never left… Like they have not been apart, although in her heart she's still longing for an explanation… an answer... but for the moment, she just wants to bask in the feeling of having her heart settled…

Noah pushed the door of her kitchen with a flourish… He had two plates in his hand and he served Rachel with gusto…

There was steak that he grilled and mashed potatoes and a side salad making her salivate… She never realized how hungry she was until he put down the plate before her…

They spent the first few minutes eating in silence… only the tinkling of their forks prevailing over the silence of her apartment… Not one too many times, Rachel saw Noah almost nodding off to sleep while chewing… his fatigue coming at him in waves as the sleepless nights slowly began to take its toll on him…

Pushing her plate aside, Rachel watched him eat… her eyes curious as she took a sip of her wine… bracing herself from the question that is now pushing against her lips that she had prevented herself from asking for the longest time…

Noah gave out a wide yawn… blinking his eyes rapidly as he fought off the drowsiness that he feels…

"Where have you been? Why didn't you text or call me?"

The words were out of her mouth even before she can stop herself… Her tone coming out to be accusatory unintentionally… Noah paused midway in cutting his steak… Keeping his head bowed for a couple of seconds before putting his spoon down gently on the table and lifting his head up to look at Rachel head on…

"Do you trust me Rachel? With all your heart?"

Rachel faltered for a second… tentatively nodding her head before doing it once again with much more conviction…

Noah sighed… Frustration evident on his face as he closed his eyes before he opened it again…

"I'm- I'm doing some work for a friend that I just can't tell you right now… Once – once it's over… I will tell you all about it…"

He grabbed a hold of his hand, squeezing it tightly between his…

"I will never hurt you Rachel… believe me… "

Rachel does not know why… she wanted to believe in him with all her heart but there is an uneasiness inside her that just won't let her rest… A feeling of discomfort as if something disastrous was looming…

Did her experience with Finn scar her for life? Noah is a different person… He is deserving of a clean slate and her trust…

Quieting her fears if only for that moment… Rachel smiled as she returned the gentle squeeze that Noah gave her hand…

Noah breathed a sigh of relief at how understanding she is and he can't help but feel exceptionally lucky for having someone like her…

Once Quinn's mom is more stable he plans to talk to her… to let her know that he has real feelings for Rachel that he just can't push away… As a friend, he hopes she'd understand why he can't be there for her as often as he was before… He is still willing to help her but not in a way that would make Rachel doubt him or in a way that would put a strain to their budding relationship… Rachel deserves as much and as a friend he is also hoping to get Quinn's blessing…

"So is it over? Do you still need to return?"

Rachel asked tentatively as Noah gave a wry smile… A sheepish expression coming over his face…

"Yes… I was only actually supposed to see you this weekend but I sneaked out because I missed you too much…"

He bowed his head then… as if he's not used to hearing such words coming from his own mouth making Rachel smile….

She reached for his chin… nudging it up with her fingers as they look straight into each others eyes…

"I'm glad you came…"

And she leaned over to kiss him… a tender kiss that washed away the mistrust and anxiety that they have both felt during the last four days… a kiss that is meant to energize him and comfort her… a kiss that quieted the doubts that they can't both voice out at this point…

Noah's voice was raspy, heavy with desire as he looked at her with hooded eyes…

"Let's go to bed?"

He whispered … Taking Rachel by the hand as he led her going towards the bedroom…

Laying Rachel down gently, his mouth traced a path moving from her forehead to her neck… nuzzling at it for a couple of seconds before suddenly growing still…

Rachel opened her eyes, feeling him suddenly grew heavy on her as he began to breathe evenly… Taking great care to ease herself out from beneath him, Rachel gave an amused smile as she found Noah fast asleep…

She looked at him tenderly as she leaned on her elbow… brushing his hair out of his forehead which made him twitch and open his eyes as he traveled the thin line in between sleep and wakefulness…

"Did I just fall asleep?"

He groaned in embarassment… his voice coming out slurred and smoky as he fought to keep himself awake…

Rachel shushed him…

"Shhh… it's ok… just go back to bed… Some other time… there'll be plenty of time…"

He sighed… his eyes already drifting shut even as he mumbled…

"Sorry… so tired… just let me sleep for awhile- just for awhile…"

And just like that he was out like a light… Finally, finding the rest that he had been craving for for days now that Rachel is by his side…

Rachel watched him for a couple of minutes… feeling content that he was with her and yet feeling an inexplicable sadness also at the same time…

Resting her head against his chest, she listened to his heartbeat for awhile… hugging him close to her as she whispered in the darkness of her room…

"You won't break my heart Noah, right? Promise me you won't let me go through heartache all over again…"

And as if hearing her in his sleep, he turned to hug her back… Rachel giving off a small smile as she rubbed her cheek against his chest before drifting off to sleep…

As they lay sideways with their arms around each other…They look like two halves of a whole…With their bodies intertwined, legs tangled together, their breathing rising and falling in a steady rhythm… It was as if they were meant to always be together… to always be beside each other…

But when Rachel woke up the next morning, Noah was gone… The dent in his pillow the only clue she had that he had ever been there… the note that she was holding telling her he'd meet her this weekend the only memory he left of the night that they would last be together…

* * *

With a heavy heart and her mind far away, Rachel passed her blush brush over her left cheek as she put the finishing touches to her makeup…

She was in no mood to leave the house today after waking up to find Noah gone nor to go to work but she had to go out and be with people otherwise she'd go crazy…

She does not know what is worse… seeing Noah for awhile or not seeing him at all… There is an uncomfortable feeling in her heart when she woke up this morning that she just can't shake off… one that makes her nervous even if she does not know what it is that she has to be really shaky about as she goes about her daily, everyday chores…

Her eyes widening in surprise as she looked in the mirror at her cheeks looking as bright as a clown, Rachel pulled out some wipes from her vanity table as she wiped the excess rouge away… Leaning close to look at herself as she rubbed at her cheek roughly, she shouted out at the stillness of the room…

"Get yourself together Rachel… Focus! Noah told you to trust him and you should… so there's nothing to be scared about… Okay? Okay!"

With a fierce pump of her fist, she felt a smile make it's way into her face… considerably feeling better than she was when she first started the day…

Grabbing her coat from the back of her chair as she made her way out of the door, Rachel stopped in her tracks as she saw who was unexpectedly standing outside…

Quinn had her head down when she first opened the door… She had on a one piece dress that hugged all her womanly curves to perfection coupled with heeled gladiator sandals… On her face were large Jackie Onassis sunglasses hiding her features to complete the ensemble …

She looked as if she just stepped out of the pages of a magazine, making Rachel feel frumpy in her cropped jacket, studded tshirt and jeans combo…

Lifting her face towards her and removing her sunglasses, Quinn gave Rachel a tepid smile that didn't quite reach her eyes… Rachel clutching on the brass knob of her door as Quinn tilted her head to the side as if seeing her for the first time…

"Rachel?"

She said, breaking the silence… the tension almost palpable in the whole hallway that one can slice it with a knife…

"Can I come in?"

Quinn raised a questioning eyebrow at her… as if it is but perfect manners to already invite her inside and not to keep her waiting…

Spurred into action, Rachel nervously wiped the palm of her hand against her jean as she opened the doorway wider…

"C-come in…"

Quinn gave a little nod to acknowledge the invitation… her eyes flicking about her apartment as she spoke as she checked out the place where her rival lives…

"I hope I came at a good time… I came early since I would hate to go to the theater because I wanted to talk to you in private… May I sit down?"

She turned her head to look at Rachel… Rachel still discomfited over this unplanned visit…

"Of- Of course…"

Quinn sat at the edge of her couch, crossing her legs as Rachel stood before her awkwardly, rocking on the balls of her feet...

As if wanting to get her bearings for a moment, Rachel went to the kitchen as she shouted to Quinn from across the living room…

"Actually… I'm supposed to leave in awhile but I have some time… Do you drink tea? Or would you prefer some coffee? I normally grind my own but if you're in a hurry I have the instant ones - "

"Anything…"

Quinn shouted back at her… Silence prevailing over the room as Rachel went about preparing something for her guest to steady her nerves as Quinn remained seated by herself in the living room…

Quinn looked around the room curiously as the minutes ticked by… the phone ringing quietly in the living room beside her which Rachel didn't hear while she was in the kitchen…

"Should I g-"

Quinn's voice trailed off as the answering machine kicked in… Rachel's familiar greeting filling the room as the machine beeped for the caller to leave a message…

_"Good Afternoon Miss Berry this is Colleen, Mr. Puckermans Secretary… he can't give you a call right now but he asked me to tell you that he'd definitely see you this Saturday… he also mentioned a note that he left this morning prior to leaving your house and he hopes you received it… Thank you…"_

And with a click, the caller hanged up…

Quinn's head whipped towards the empty kitchen doorway as her jealousy ate away at her making her glare at the room where Rachel was now at… It was then that she appeared from the doorway… holding several packets of teabag in her hands as she addressed Quinn…

"I brewed some coffee but I also have some Earl Grey or English Breakfast or Jasmine… I also have Green-"

Quinn looked at her with sharp eyes… all guise of civility now gone as she recalled the message that she just heard over the telephone…

"I didn't come here to drink tea… this is not a social visit…"

The gauntlet has been thrown… Quinn standing up elegantly as she walked towards her…

Rachel's hands fell to her side as she straightened herself to her full height until they were standing face to face…

"I think you know what I came here for?"

Quinn asked sardonically, her eyebrows raised at her condescendingly…

Rachel gave her a sarcastic smile… her patience running out as the girl before her looked at her as if she was beneath her…

"No… Frankly I don't…"

She stared her down as Quinn smirked at her… the corner of her mouth lifting as she rolled her eyes momentarily before looking at Rachel again…

"It's about Puck… stop clinging unto him… I gave you Finn back so you can stop with all the mindgames now…this charade? This pretense?"

Rachel felt her heart slamming against her chest… her hands clenching into fists at her side as she stamped down on the urge to slap the bitch…

"What? Charade? Pretense?"

She threw the words back at her…

Looking at her disbelievingly and mollified by her audacity to speak to her about things that she would never want to be associated with her love for Noah…

Quinn looked at her for a second before giving a shout of laughter… this time putting on a mock pitiful look at her as she looked at Rachel again….

"Tsk… tsk… Poor Rachel… you're so naïve… "

Quinn shook her head

"I asked Noah to get you out of my hair during the time that I was with Finn and you were so pathetically running after him… "

She looked her condescendingly up and down…

"Did you sincerely think he went after you because he liked you? That he chose you? OVER ME?"

She laughed again as if the thought is unimaginable…

Rachel felt the words pierce like daggers through her heart but she does not want to give Quinn the advantage of seeing her crumble… of seeing her break down…

Quinn continued with her speech…

"Noah and I have been through a lot together… A LOT, no one can even begin to compete… there are other girls like you who come and go in his life, but always… always… he comes running back to ME… "

Quinn tapped her index finger against her chest as if to validate her point…

"So if you still have some pride left… if you don't want to end up as pathetically as you did with Finn, let him be… cut him loose… before you lose the last shred of your pride over a man who finds it easy to discard you once again…"

Trembling in anger and her nails digging into her palms… Rachel gave Quinn a sarcastic smile… Scoffing at her as she gave her as much as she's got…

"Pathetic? Look who's pathetic… Have you taken a good look at yourself in the mirror lately Quinn? You come to my house just to feed me these lies believing that I would believe you over Noah? I TRUST HIM… I BELIEVE IN HIM…

I would not trust anything that is coming out of your vile mouth just because you said it is so… I would only trust what I see from him… what I hear from him…Trust… it's something that this relationship has… look the word up in the dictionary… it might be something that you don't know the meaning of…"

Quinn's eyes widened in surprise momentarily, thrown for a loop for a moment as Rachel does not seem to respond to her intimidation as easily as she thought she would…

Thinking fast and relying on her knowledge of Noah, Quinn took a step forward towards Rachel… keeping her finger crossed that her instincts prove her correct as she pressed her face almost an inch apart towards Rachel who remained standing before her, unflinching…

"You listen to me you stupid girl… do you know where he's been these past couple of days? Where he has slept or where he spent the night when he was away from you? "

Rachel's eyes showed curiosity… a vulnerability that Quinn saw a glimpse of which made her smile as she goes in for the kill…

"HE WAS WITH ME… IN MY BED… washing himself off probably of your clumsy, inept lovemaking as he made love to me… "

She gave a satisfied smile as she saw Rachel visibly flinch… her mouth going pale as she watched her…

"We've always had it good Rachel… Just because he slept with you doesn't mean that he liked you…IT IS JUST SEX… JUST… SEX… you were probably a novelty to him with your almost virginal naivete but he'd also tire of you…and when that happens?"

She paused momentarily as if waiting for her answer…

"He'd be back with me…and probably by that time… you would have wished you TRUSTED me…"

She emphasized the word as she threw Rachel's words back in her face…

Quinn's façade remained calm and collected as Rachel's chest heave with a mixture of disgust, anger and doubt as she tried her best to fight against the seeds of malice that Quinn has already successfully planted in her mind…

With gritted teeth, Rachel pointed towards her door as she said the words in a threatening whisper…

"Get out…Get out of my house before I do anything that I'd regret …"

Tossing her hair over her shoulder, Quinn turns to leave nonchalantly after grabbing her purse from her coffeetable…

However, as if remembering something, she had barely taken two steps going towards Rachel's front door before she turned back to look at her again with a mock sad look on her face…

"Think about it Rachel… Did Puck tell you he loves you? Maybe you're the only one assuming he does, even if he doesn't…"

Quinn shrugged as Rachel grabbed a vase from her living room shelf, raising it over her head…

"GET OUTTTTTTTT!"

Rachel shouted…

Quinn's eyes widened in momentary fear as Rachel swung the vase like she'd really hit her while chasing her out with it…

"OH!"

She gave a sharp cry as she stumbled over her heels… Scampering like a coward on her way out on her hands and feet as she scrambled to reach Rachel's doorway…

How dare her chase her out like she was a beggar? Rachel would see… she is not yet through with her… by the time she finishes she will end up battered and broken for the humiliation that she'd made her suffer today…

And as Quinn slammed the door as she left, Rachel leaned against the wall as she dropped to her haunches… the vase that she was holding dropping to her feet as all her pretend courage suddenly left her making her feel like a balloon that had suddenly just been deflated…

* * *

With relief written all over her face and breathing in the crisp spring air as she drove her convertible along New York's busy streets, Rachel could not believe that the moment that she's been waiting for is finally here…

It is Saturday. The day that Noah and her agreed to meet and when she can finally lay all her questions and her fears to rest… Truth be told, It had only been two days but it felt as if she waited for a lifetime…

Rachel's face clouds over momentarily, as she recalled how Quinn's visit had shook her more than she had imagined…

She had spent the whole day feeling as if she had been through the wringer after that… her mind full of thoughts about the words that Quinn had spoken and how everything seemed to be so coincidental… like she truly knew something…

However, It is only through her blind belief in Noah and his phone call yesterday that she was able to pull through and get herself out of the dumps as she put her faith in the tenderness in his voice as he spoke to her…Clinging to it like a lifeline as he promised to tell her what he had long not been able to, not just about his whereabouts these past few days, but also to lay his feelings for her on the line as he speaks to her of the truth of how much she meant to him and where he feels that this relationship is heading…

Rachel's smile falters as once again Quinn's words echo in her head… Of the possibility that it is the truth and that is what Noah is out to tell her…

She breathed a sigh of regret as she remembers Finn… How she wished that he is right beside her at this moment…

He's always been the voice of logic… of reason… Quieting her fears as she voiced it out to him and making her feel that whatever she does is always a sound decision…

It had been two weeks that she had stood him up when she agreed to meet him… two weeks when she have not received even one single word of accusation as to why she broke her promise… two weeks when she have dared one too many times over to text or call him but ending up not doing it at all because she doesn't know what to tell him…

How very Finn… and how typical Rachel… she thought with a wry smile…

She knew that he knows her so well so as to give her space before showing up in front of her or talking to her again…

The result of her non-appearance already a spot on conclusion as he always knew what she was thinking even before she knows it herself… It had never been Finn's habit to guilt trip her or to tell her of things that she should or shouldn't do…

Always, he spends time waiting in the wings…

_Always…_

He waits for the moment when she's ready … never once putting pressure on her or stressing her out if she's not prepared yet and she had no doubt in her mind that that is what he's doing right now…

She gave a wry smile as she thought about him…

She misses him… not as Finn her boyfriend but Finn her friend… Hopefully, once this is all over, they can go back to regaining their friendship, without anguish… without malice…

She's come full circle… in the six months since he broke her heart, she was able to let Finn go without bitterness… She had learnt to live independently from a man… Doing things that she didn't think she was capable of and in the process finding for herself a love that she had never ever felt this entire lifetime…

She's always thought that Finn was the love of her life, but with Noah, she finally knew there's more… So much more… and now she realized that things always happen for a reason and that heartbreak is not necessarily a bad thing …

However the love for oneself is eternal… that she can only love someone if she gives as much importance to herself as her love… Noah taught her that, and if for anything else, it is the most valuable thing that he had given her and is not something that she'd let a silly girl like Quinn take away from her…

Checking the clock on her dashboard, Rachel saw that she had two and a half hours to go before she goes meet Noah at one of their favorite restaurants…

As she stopped at a stoplight, she tapped her fingers against the steering wheel noticing a bakeshop from across the street that sells Noah's favorite éclairs…

Her eyes lighting up, Rachel thought to herself that she'd give Noah a surprise by picking him up in his apartment so that they can drive together going to the restaurant…

She'd pass by the bakeshop first to sweeten him up and then they can leave his house together to make it in time for their reservation…

With her eyes sparkling as she put her foot to the pedal… Rachel has no idea that she is the one in for a surprise… That impulsive decision that she made in that moment ending up as her regret of a lifetime as unknowingly, she had allowed herself to willingly walk in unto Quinn's waiting trap…

* * *

Seated on Noah's bed with her hands on her lap, Quinn listened to the sound of his shower from outside his closed bathroom doorway…

She sat in a daze… the wheels in her head turning as she waited for the moment when he comes out of the bathroom to act on her plan… Otherwise, this is the moment when she'd lose Noah forever…

With bitter eyes, Quinn turned her head once again to stare at the bouquet of red roses laying across his bedside table right beside a Blue Tiffany box which is now open to reveal a diamond solitaire engagement ring as if taunting her…

Mocking her…

Noah is going to propose to Rachel tonight and he would not be able to do that if Quinn had her way about it…

It had taken all her effort to make sure that she can stop him… to get the information through Noah's secretary of his whereabouts, of what time he'd be home tonight and what he had planned…

She waited patiently… enduring the bitterness even of finding the apartment deserted as she thought of how Noah probably sent all his help for a day off just to complete his romantic proposal…

How cheesy.

_How heartbreaking._

Pounding on her heart as if she's deeply pained, Quinn remembered the look in Noah's eyes when he told her all about Rachel…

It was a look that he had never once given her… not even when she had given him everything that he could ask for and more as she gave him her heart, body and soul wholeheartedly…

He didn't know how much it hurt… to act as if she's overwhelmed with happiness for him as he asked her to favor

Rachel considerably when they've only known each other for three months when she had spent her lifetime waiting for him..

He wouldn't understand the effort it took… to utter the words Congratulations when all along she wanted to shout and hit at him as to why it can never be her…

But most of all he can never realize how much she can't stand it even as she smiled and nodded when he asked for her understanding if he would keep a distance from her in the future as he would want to be respectful of Rachel and her feelings for him

_BULLSHIT._

She's gone through so much for him… She had pretended that it was okay if he didn't commit himself fully to her as long as she had a piece of him… She had agreed to a breakup even if she cried over it for months because he was too busy with work to even give a second thought about her… She had watched him bed woman after woman, making it appear as if she didn't care about him when deep inside her heart was breaking… and when she finally thought that Finn was the answer, it turned out to be that it is still Noah that she can only lean on up to the very end…

She had told him… during the time that they were at Mike's… She had bared her heart and soul to him but he had dismissed it as an effect of drinking…

Well, she'd show him… If he thinks she can get things done drunk then wait until tonight when she's through with him…

She wished it would not have come to this… of forcing him to consider her instead for marriage… but she'd rather spend her life miserably with him than not to have him at all…

Especially now that her mother is fading away right before her very eyes…

_Especially when she only has him…_

Turning her head slowly to look at the ring twinkling before her… Quinn reached out as if in a trance to get it out from the box and to put it on her finger…

She sat for a couple of minutes admiring it… Looking at how it seemed to be made especially to fit her…

Quinn gave a wry smile as she realized that Rachel and her have the same ring size…

How ironic…

This ring could really be hers… she wished it was hers… she has to make sure it becomes hers…

Hearing the shower turning off, Quinn took a shot of whiskey from the flask that she was carrying… Dousing her neck a little to smell of it as she stood up drunkenly using what she'd learnt in dozens of her acting workshops to the best of her abilities…

Quinn walked to the door of his room as if she just came in… Just right in time when Noah opened his bathroom door and jerked in surprise in the middle of toweling his hair to see Quinn standing in his open doorway…

He was bare-chested… his hair still wet and a towel the only thing covering his waist as he looked at Quinn open mouthed…

"How- how were you -"

Quinn lifted tear filled eyes to Noah… doing her best to appear needy and vulnerable as she looked at him…

"I'm sorry Puck… I can't take this any longer… Mother- What will I do if she's gone?"

She gave a half laugh, half cry as Noah looked at her compassionately… standing stock still as she walked up to him and rested her head on his shoulders…

Quinn starts sobbing… Noah's arms going around her tentatively as he patted her back comfortably while she cried…

"It's okay Q… Are you alright? Would you like some water?"

Pretending as if she's calmed down enough… Quinn nodded and wiped her tears as she sat on the edge of the bed…

Noah walked across the room pouring her a glass of water from the minibar across his room… Quinn looking out his bedroom window and seeing Rachel park right across his building as a delighted smile escape her lips at this unexpected development…

Well… well… well… this is not part of her plan but it could not get any better…

Thinking fast and schooling her features to appear devastated, Quinn watch Noah walk back towards her as she reached out for the glass of water that Noah offered her with trembling fingers…

She spilt the water all over herself in the process, gasping as the cold liquid touch her skin as she sat on his bed soaking wet…

Noah muttered an expletive under his breath… brushing at her nonchalantly as he tried to sop up the liquid from her blouse with the towel that he has previously left lying beside her…

"Are you okay? Sheesh… I'm sorry… I should -"

Noah stopped midway as Quinn started unbuttoning her blouse… an innocent look on her face as Noah raised confused eyes towards her…

"Wh—what are you doing?"

Quinn looked at him with a perfectly bland expression… as if she is not doing anything out of the ordinary as she looked at Noah with a straight face…

"Do you have a shirt I can change into? I'm cold… my shirt is dripping wet…"

As if breathing a sigh of relief, Noah's face instantly cleared… rummaging through his drawers as he threw a shirt at Quinn that she can easily change into…

"Sorry Quinn… I am- I am meeting Rachel today… and I only have an hour and a half left… and…"

She gave him an embarassed smile… Scuffing her toe on the carpet as she hugged Noah's shirt to him covering her own which was half unbuttoned…

"I should be the one to apologize… I am such a burden aren't i? I know you wish you could get rid of me…"

She half laughed and half cried… lifting tear filled eyes to him once again as Noah hesitated before walking up to her to put his hand on her shoulder …

From the corner of her eye, Quinn saw Rachel's reflection walking up the stairs from the hall mirror visible across Noah's hallway…

As Noah walked up to her, she lifted her face up to his… saying his name breathlessly…

"Puck…"

She clung to him… wrapping her arms across his neck as he looked at her in surprise…

Rachel's ring still clearly visible and sparkling on her finger before she stood up on tiptoes as she planted her lips on Noah and kissed him passionately…

And that was the scene that Rachel walked on to…

A muffled sob escaping her throat as she stood like she's been punched in the gut with Noah's back to her… the ring on Quinn's finger clearly visible as she ran her fingers through his hair…

Rachel taking stock of Noah half naked and the roses on the table with the open box beside it …

She walked away slowly from the door as if she's seen something she shouldn't… Her mind recalling Quinn's words and Noah's on the phone as she turned away…

_"He'd always come back to me…"_

_"I'd tell you something when we see each other and I hope you'd understand me…"_

_"He dated you to get you out of my hair…"_

_The memories of her saying "I love you" and Noah not saying it back to her…_

_"Do you know where he's been these past four days?"_

_The memory of how he couldn't tell her where he's been going, the long unexplained absences and how guilty he looks..._

_The memory of Noah in Quinn's embrace…_

_The memory of that ring on her finger…_

Laughing hysterically, Rachel got in her car and gunned the engine…

Not really seeing the moment when Noah pushed Quinn violently away from him as he wiped his mouth while she said sorry before pretending to pass out…

Quinn is right… She is stupid… Naïve… she's done it twice… once again, she is a victim of lies…

And now she has no one…

She had almost walked into the trap of Noah telling her right to her face that she meant nothing to him… that it is Quinn he really loved and she would sit there with a stupid grin on her face while she pretended that she is fine with it… She trusted him… rollercoasted it… and look where it got her…

How can she have believed that she can change him? That she is okay with a relationship that she does not even know where it's heading…

She had been stupid twice…

ENOUGH…

She would not hurt anymore…

Tomorrow…

But for today… the pain in her heart is consuming her whole being that it is better if she had died… Her break up with Finn can't even compare…

She was able to make it through that… battered and scathed but she stood up… But this? She may never be whole again…

She can't face Noah… just the thought of seeing him or running into him is driving her cold… She has to get away… to be as far away from him as she could… if only for awhile…

Just until she can face him without begging and pleading for him to take her back like a pathetic fool...

Pressing on the brakes of her car, Rachel looked at where she ended up in…

Not even knowing what she's doing there or why she's there as she let her instincts rule her…

Dry-eyed and unfeeling, she got on the elevator and walked towards Finn's doorway…Pressing her finger against the doorbell as she waited for him to open the door to her…

She does not know why but the moment he saw his face, she gave a big gasp… clutching on her chest as if out of breath… big, fat tears coming to her eyes as the tears fell from her eyes…

"Finn… Finn…"

She breathed out…

His expression immediately changed from surprise to worry… his fingers gripping the knob of his door as he stood tentatively, unaware of what he's supposed to do as she half laughed amd half cried in front of him…

"Finn… Take me away from here… Huh?"

She put on a wavering smile… The tears continuously falling from her eyes…

"I shouldn't be here and i… I can't think of any other friend and - I need my best friend…"

She lifted pleading eyes to him… Finn lightly placing his hand now on her shoulder… His face contorted with sadness as he watched her cry…

"I just need some time… I - I need to get away… Please… Take me away from here…"

And she sobbed brokenly as Finn violently pulled her into him in a hug…

Holding her tightly and wanting to mend her broken heart… Rachel crying and wailing pitifully as if her very soul is being tortured…

"I'm sorry Finn… so, so sorry… so, so fucking sorry…"

She repeated the words continuously… as if that would make up for all the months of hurt that they have inflicted on each other…

And as Rachel pressed her face against his shoulder… She knew that time will heal her broken heart once again but she will never be the same…

_Never…_

* * *

**AUTHORS NOTE:**

_I thrive on angst... the kind that hurts so good... and i have plenty of that in this story..._

_Quite a sad chapter i know, but admit it, doesn't it make such a good story? :)_

_Prepare for what happens next and just to whet your appetite, i'd give you a spoiler... there will be a time jump... :)_

_Comments are appreciated!_


	17. Need You Now

**Authors Note:**

I know that sooner or later I will use Lady Antebellum's Need You Now as a prompt for this FF and I am glad that I saved it for this particular instance.

I have interspersed the lyrics towards some scenes at the end of the story because it is a perfect depiction of the inner struggle and pain that Noah and Rachel as well as Quinn and Finn are going through at that moment. I hope that you can play the song (Puck and Rachel's version of course!) when the lyrics appear on screen to enhance your reading experience.

This chapter is particularly long because I have to set up character shifts after the time jump and to explain what happened with the major characters during the missing time that I didn't write in between. It was really time consuming to write and it required a lot of effort but I hope that you won't get bored and would enjoy the narrative as much as I enjoyed writing it.

Your reviews would go a long way towards making me continue with this story so I'd really appreciate it if you leave a note! Enjoy reading!

* * *

**CHAPTER FIFTEEN**

**NEED YOU NOW**

_**The Hamptons**_

_**6 years after**_

If one is not that familiar at all with the Puckermans summer home, one would deduce that not much had changed in terms of the design and architecture of one of the most stately and luxurious properties all over the United States despite the passing of time.

Looking at the palatial house from outside, there is a feeling of awe that one gets at how it had remained imposing and commanding as it stands majestically over the neighboring houses like a King watching over its subjects on the tree lined street that aptly enough was named after its owners.

Puckerman Drive.

The electronic gates keep most of the secrets of the house hidden.

Only swinging open for those who are lucky enough to get invited inside its premises.

The façade of the house although attractive seem to be a tad cold and intimidating. Unwelcoming of strangers and barren of any warmth nor hospitality that one could say would truly put one at ease. Every nook and cranny of the house was designed for perfection. Like a showroom that seem to boast of the owners status in life and their immense wealth but none of the personal touches that would divulge any information about the people living within.

It is opulent, ostentatious, emotionless and unsympathetic.

A description which at present is also the best for the only son of the manor who was sitting as always in his bedroom terrace this calm summer morning as he had his breakfast with an open newspaper in hand as once again he reviews the stock market as had been his habit every morning for the past 6 years.

Has it only been that long?

It felt as if it was a lifetime…

A lifetime ago when Noah Puckerman last broke out into a teasing, mischievous smile just because.

A lifetime ago when he let himself loose from the dictates of being one of the heirs of the largest conglomerates in America and allowed himself to do things that he personally wanted to do for the mere reason that he feels like it.

It feels like ages ago when he had last dared to cry.

To love.

_TO FEEL._

Now, what remains is a shell of the man that he once used to be.

He is now impenetrable.

Hard to read.

Calculating.

Everything seems to be the same and yet so much had changed.

He had matured definitely.

At 28, Noah is at his prime but rather than detracting from his good looks, the advancement in age only added more to his mystery.

To his charisma.

The fact that he is also known among their social circles as the type to love 'em and leave 'em has only added more to his appeal.

As if tying him down to a relationship had become a wild goose chase for every woman who has ever warmed his bed and whoever might be successful in snaring him would definitely harness not just the power of being a wife to the successful heir but also to such a trophy husband.

Sadly, they can only dream about it as Noah has no intentions of being tied down.

Being with a woman is the least among his priorities.

During the time that had passed, he had busied himself with making Puckerman holdings a power to be reckoned with.

An entertainment industry giant who had grown by leaps and bounds and which had branched out into different businesses as well like retail and manufacturing through numerous takeovers and mergers that he had facilitated at whatever cost.

It's all about the numbers.

All about the bottom line.

To him, people are replaceable.

A fact that his peers among the business sector did not let slide as they described him as the man with a calculator for brains and a heart that was made of stone.

A man who dreams of balance sheets in his sleep and eats former retail CEO's heads who have fallen by the wayside for breakfast.

_He doesn't give a shit._

He had lost the power to care about anything that he doesn't have the power to control when Rachel left.

And as if the mere mention of her name conjured her up, Noah lowered his newspaper by an inch as he peered at the news flashing on his 64 inch flat screen TV visible to him from the terrace inside his bedroom.

With nary a flicker of emotion nor a flash of expression across his face to show recognition, he noted how the news anchor heralded Rachel's return to New York after all this time as if it is the greatest thing to happen to Broadway ever since Lea Salonga bagged the first Asian lead role in Miss Saigon a couple of years ago.

With a stoic expression, Noah watched Rachel as she smiled blindingly for the cameras.

Not much had changed but she seems to be more polished.

More refined.

And if before she was already gorgeous, she is now DROP DEAD.

An observation that Noah noted matter of factly and with grim sarcasm as if the person on screen is a mere stranger to him.

A nobody.

A person whom he feels no affinity for.

Rachel juggled the bunch of flowers in her hand as she explained how her success in London had caused her to stay there for quite sometime and how having achieved her goal of being one of the most recognized West End actresses, she deemed it only fitting to finally come back to her roots to star in films and shows in her home country.

She swiped at an errant piece of hair as she let out a bedimpled laugh over how the reporters were praising her for her role as Fanny Brice in Funny Girl.

Bowing shyly as she waved off their profuse praises, Noah lets off a smirk as he thought how she appears flustered but deep inside he knows she was lapping up every single word of it.

BULLSHIT.

He has now mastered her game…

Underneath that seemingly good natured exterior, lies the scheming, manipulative heart of a self centered spoilt princess who waxes poetics to get what she wants.

A fickle minded, unthinking bimbo who uses people without consideration just to preserve her sense of self worth and who doesn't even have the courage to say it straight to their faces when she changes her mind.

To the world, she may seem like an accomplished actress who had made it into the big league, but to him six years ago, she was the girl who didn't only take away his heart when she abandoned him but also his soul.

Noah sat pokerfaced as he thought back to that fateful day.

He had put himself on the line for her. He was willing to believe that Love really does exist when he had stopped believing for the longest time just because she told him it does. He was willing to put all his guards down and break down his walls to let her in when it had taken him years to build them just to be able to spend a lifetime with her. He pushed away all of his doubts even turning his back on Quinn who was passed out drunk in his house just to make it to that restaurant in time for her.

And like a fool he waited.

For the longest time he waited.

Beset with confusion at first when she didn't arrive and wouldn't answer his calls, then with worry and fear when the hours passed and she still didn't appear.

He remembered how his heart dropped in his chest when he arrived running at her apartment only to find it empty.

Of how he had drove through the streets of New York like a madman looking for her in every street and alley.

He pictured how he flipped through the channels of his car radio as he waited with bated breath for any news of an accident or an unfortunate incident that may have befallen her.

Of how incoherent he was as he made that police report a day after when no one seemed to know where she disappearead to.

He stayed in her apartment for two days. Unshaven, unkempt, not even daring to blink nor eat or even budge an inch should he miss any piece of news about her.

At night, he curled up in a ball and hugged her pillow close to him as he cried into it. Imagining the worst as he pictured her lying hurt somewhere, alone and cold and without him there to protect her.

He felt helpless.

Lonely.

_Scared._

He remembered how he begged and pleaded for her friends to let him know or give him any clue as to where else he should look for her when all else failed.

But most of all, he remembered how stupid he had been and how he should have immediately known where she is when he also couldn't get in touch with Finn and no one also knows where he is.

It only sank in on him four days after.

When an American tourist on vacation in London who happened to also be Rachel's fan uploaded a picture of her and Finn together in the internet as they exited a famous coffee house in Notting Hill.

Both of them in track suits and bearing bags of groceries as Finn nursed a cup of coffee in his free hand while elbowing the door open for Rachel.

Finn had his profile to the camera as Rachel lifted her face up to his, a smile on her face as she looked at him adoringly.

Noah can still vividly imagine that day as if it was yesterday. It was as if his world stopped spinning. He was enveloped by such great coldness that he felt his body trembling.

But he didn't cry. No matter how it felt at that moment as if his heart is being shredded into pieces, he didn't cry.

Instead he found himself laughing.

Hysterically.

Uproariously.

He laughed at how once again in his life despite his cynical and jaded outlook on love, he was once again played for a fool as he gave his trust to a person whom he thought would return his affection only for her to throw it right back at his face.

She had made him believe they had a chance and in the end, she is the one who gave that chance up and that's what hurts him the most.

NEVER AGAIN.

Never again would he let himself feel anything for anyone nor to let anybody get that close to him just so they can hurt him over and over again.

Never again would he imagine that he is a person who anybody would want to love because it seemed like eversince the day he was born he was cursed with the luck of always having the people he wants to have in his life leave him.

And that's when he cried.

He cried great, big, fat tears for the love he's putting to rest.

He cried for the beautiful girl who had captured his heart with her innocence and free spirit and how now he had to forget she ever existed if he would want to live again.

He mourned for the loss of dreams that they built together and memories that they shared which she seemed to have so easily forgotten.

He grieved at how empty his vows are to forget her and never forgive her knowing inside his heart that she only had to return and ask him to take her back again and he would blindly accept her and hurt himself over and over again just to have her beside him.

But she never did.

And after awhile, he stopped crying.

And that was also the last time he allowed himself to feel.

And from that moment on, Rachel Berry ceased to exist in his life as he erased her from his heart and his memory.

Just like the same way that she easily turned her back on him and gave him up without a second glance…

Without even thinking twice about it…

* * *

Quinn Fabray sat across from Noah that morning barefaced and wearing only his white robe as she watched the play of emotions on his face as he sat tightlipped while watching Rachel being interviewed from the screen of his TV.

Biting into her toast but her gaze never wavering from his face, Quinn drinks in the sight of Noah hungrily as she let her eyes rove all over his face while he sat across from her, once again unaware and uncaring as she looked at him with love filled eyes as he sat straightfaced pretending not to notice.

_Does he really? _

_Not notice?_

Quinn thought as she peered at him from the rim of her coffeecup.

Maybe he really doesn't.

She would like to believe that it is the case even if she knew better because thinking of it that way somehow makes the fact that he doesn't really care about her, hurt less.

Sbe turned her head towards the TV to look at Rachel. Half listening to the reporters voice as he welcomed her back to New York after six years of absence.

Has it only been six years?

REALLY?

It truly feels like a lifetime…

Quinn lowered her eyes as she pretended to read the newspaper in front of her while really reminiscing about that fateful night six years ago when she had planned and schemed to keep Noah by her side.

She can still remember it just like it was yesterday.

Of how she pretended to pass out after kissing Noah and hoping against hope that her plan would work and that Rachel would take a hint and voluntarily leave the picture

When Noah didn't return that night she knew

She had read Rachel well.

She had succeeded and emerged the victor.

Her moving away from New York was not something that she had imagined nor planned for but it was as if the fates conspired to bring her full victory with all of the events that happened right after.

Given the circumstances, she was even convinced for a time that the heavens must be smiling down on her by helping her along since Noah and her were really meant to be together.

Rachel leaving with Finn, Finn and her being photographed together just days after.

It was truly easy after that to pretend that she was sorry and to sympathize with Noah while pretending that she was dead drunk and doesn't remember anything of that fateful night when she kissed him forcibly which eventually would lead to the most catastrophic event of his adult life.

In the days that followed, she was happy.

Content.

Secured in the fact that without Rachel in the picture, she can have Noah back all to herself but then she felt as if something was different, like something had changed drastically.

Noah buried himself in work like a madman and it was as if he was possessed by some compelling force to throw himself wholeheartedly in his job that he almost lived at the office.

He became cold and distant.

Aloof even.

Characteristics that he had eversince they first met but he was never like that TO HER. Not to Quinn Fabray, but slowly, she's starting to feel that he is also distancing himself away even from her.

It was a feeling that she couldn't back up with solid evidence right away since just a week after the whole debacle, her mother had died.

She was devastated. Totally at a loss and as always, Noah was there beside her throughout the whole ordeal.

However, if before he would let her lean on him as a shoulder to cry on with whole sincerity, this time, she felt as if he's just going through the motions…

As if she is also a task that he wanted to check off his to do list…

_Like she is an obligation…_

Quinn wanted to shake off the bad feelings. She convinced herself that her doubts are unfounded as he stood beside her during the wake like the Noah of old as he took on the role normally reserved for a son or a son-in-law of the household.

He received guests graciously and took care of all the preparations for the burial that tongues started wagging nonstop about the two of them getting back together again.

It was truly a scandal that rocked the foundations of New York society as Finn, Rachel, Noah and her were touted to be in a never ending exchange of a merry go round of partners that in a judgmental circle like theirs could definitely raise some eyebrows.

However, whereas before, Noah would immediately jump in to correct this assumption, that time, he just let it slide.

Even when in a last ditch effort of desperation Quinn attested in a presscon just a week after her mothers burial that yes, they are back together and it might result in a probable engagement, Noah just waved off reporters stone faced as he answered their queries about Quinn's declaration with a solid NO COMMENT neither accepting nor denying the fact that the headlines blared for weeks after that Noah and her are definitely back in each others arms.

When she asked if he is indeed considering getting back together with her since he knows sincerely how she feels about him and how now that he's separated from Rachel and everyone thinks that way anyway, maybe they can REALLY try to be together once again, Noah just looked up from his paperwork. He sized her up as she stood uncertain before him in his office, wearing her heart on her sleeves as she gave her all in the final stretch of her attempt to get him back again as he dismissed her coolly by concentrating once again on the papers on his desk.

"You're welcome back to my bed if you want to. That's the most I can offer…"

He said with a shrug nonchalantly. As if he was making a business offer like he couldn't care less and like he didn't know that he just broke her heart into a million, tiny pieces.

But still, she put on a smile and swallowed her pride, taking him up on the offer one drunken night thinking it would change his mind.

But she was wrong.

The moment it was over he just rolled off of her, dressed up and walked out her door without a word exchanged between them.

They met again two days after in a plush club that they both frequented when they were younger.

Noah had his arm drunkenly around one of Maxim model contemporaries and there was a vindinctive look of triumph on the starlets catty face as Noah took her home with him without a second glance in Quinn's direction.

And as she followed them with her gaze, feeling literally as if her heart was being ripped out of her chest, Quinn knew.

She had ceased being special in Noah's life.

He had cut himself off her cleanly and if before, she at least had his respect and his friendship, now, she is just one of the many.

But she favors that doesn't she?

Quinn tried to put a smile on her face as she convinced herself that she'd rather have a space in his life even just a little rather than lose him altogether in a serious relationship such as the one he had with Rachel.

Yes, it's better that way.

So what if other people talk and if he embarrasses her over and over again as the headlines continuously blare out all of his so-called indiscretions?

It doesn't matter. She has enough love for the two of them and whatever he fails to give her, she has more than enough to make up for it. For sure in time, he'd look at her the same way again, right? Like she's the only person in his life whom he can trust.

She only has to stand by him and in time he would see that she's the one who's always been there for him.

Mollified for the meantime by the reasons that she keeps on giving herself even if she knows she's fooling no one, Quinn grabs the remote control beside her as she turned off the TV while Rachel was midsentence about how she misses Times Square and the hustle and bustle of New York when asked what she returned for in the city.

There was a beat of silence and a sadness in her eyes which was not lost to Quinn before she answered the question. A fact that she hoped Noah missed as he buried himself once again in his newspaper, midway into Rachel's interview.

"I'm watching that…"

He muttered under his breath, his face still covered by the newspaper as Quinn tried to guess what exactly is going through his mind…

"Well—I just-I just thought that because it's - Ra-Rach-"

She stuttered. Noah cuts her off midsentence. He folded the newspaper he was reading neatly beside him as he looked at Quinn with a pensive expression.

"You can say her name. RACHEL. That because it's Rachel, I would be affected?"

He shook his head as he gave out a mirthless chuckle.

"I don't give a freaking damn. I'm watching her because her work is crucial to my business, not for anything else. I have no time for that kind of nostalgic bullshit. "

He said coolly, seemingly unaffected by Rachel's presence…

"She stopped existing to me a long time ago"

He said with finality as if that's the end of that discussion as he turned the TV back on.

Biting her lips as if wanting to say something, Quinn ventured out tentatively.

"I'm just worried that her- her return would bring out old gossip… if you'd only marry me then -"

Noah sighed frustratedly. He flicked his wrist to check on his watch as he looked at Quinn with a deadpan expression.

"I have exactly 6 hours before I travel back to New York and before I need to check out that new store that we have acquired. I think I can spare 30 minutes. Wanna fuck instead?"

Quinn looked at Noah, not really understanding herself but she felt as if she wanted to cry at that very moment.

She broke him.

In her selfishness to have him, she had taken away from him not just the love of his life but also everything that was kind and soft and good natured inside him.

Is it worth it?

To have a piece of him and yet not really have him?

Who is this person?

He had changed so much that she barely knew him.

Gathering her confidence, Quinn thought to herself how he's still with her and that's all that matters. He can have his pick of girls and yet she's the only one whom he continues to bed whenever she's in town.

As long as she has that, she can withstand everything,

Throwing his hands up in frustration, Noah looked at his watch once again as he pushed his chair back.

"DAMMIT! I have no time for your sentimental crap Quinn! Never mind, I have to dress up."

"Puck…"

Quinn put her hand over his forearm as she stopped him midrise.

Noah looked at her hands questioningly before looking at her impatiently…

"I'm-I'm flying - I'm flying back to Japan tomorrow- you know that I just started my world tour right ? And I just used the three days of rest I had just to fly back to see you. I don't know when I can see you again. It may be - may be months after…"

He shrugged nonchalantly…

"So?"

Quinn puts on a smile as she ignored the sharp twinge of pain in her heart at the fact that not seeing her for months barely even matters to him. She looked at him pleadingly.

"I was- I was thinking maybe we can have dinner tonight on my last night and just catch…"

"NO… I don't do dinners… I don't have time…"

He cuts her off midsentence as he slid his hand away from underneath hers, walking back towards his bedroom as Quinn followed her with her gaze only for him to turn back around to address her.

"Besides… I think Nikki is coming over tonight so it's better if you shack up at a hotel or something… It might be awkward, you know what I mean? Unless - you'd like to make it a threesome?"

Quinn laughed forcibly. She knows that Noah was consciously pushing her away and even if she just wanted to turn her back on him and give up, there was something inside her that just wouldn't let her…

"Ahhh… I have rehearsals anyway… I'm going straight there after breakfast…"

He stared at her for a moment before giving an imperceptible nod and walking off towards his bedroom to change without even giving her a second glance.

Stupid asshole.

JERK.

You chauvinistic, arrogant, overbearing cad.

He had truly become a bastard in the truest sense of the word and this is what she truly wanted to shout out at his departing back but however hard she tries, she can't.

She made him to be that way.

She is responsible for changing Noah into the man he now is and if before she thought the heavens were helping her out to let him stay by her side, she now realizes that living her life loving someone who doesn't love her back and not being able to do anything about it is her karmic retribution for ruining his life.

* * *

Standing at the doorway of her old apartment, Rachel stared at her blanket covered furnitures with a faint smile as she was suddenly hit by a sense of nostalgia as she took in the sight of the place where she had left majority of her memories.

Trailing her fingers gently along the walls of the place where she used to live and would now live in again, she marveled at how things looked exactly the same as she left them but how so much have also changed.

Has it really been six years? Just that long? It felt as she was gone a lifetime.

When she left New York, she didn't even know that she would be gone for a long time.

The pain of seeing Noah in Quinn's arms almost drove her insane that fateful night that all she wanted to do was to get away from it all.

Somewhere far.

Somewhere unreachable.

A place where she can think about things to her hearts content, simmer down and face Noah again only when she's in the right frame of mind and when she's ready and willing to listen to him.

A week, perhaps? Or Two?

THAT WAS ALL.

However, she didn't count on the circumstances that would happen afterwards which had prevented her from coming back for such a long period of time.

Circumstances that would forever change her life as she knew it and which would make her decide that maybe it is better for both their sakes if Noah and her really did stay apart.

She was almost at her wits end 2 weeks after flying to London.

She tortured herself over and over again with the image of Noah locked in Quinn's embrace as she first went through anger and then guilt thinking that maybe there is an explanation to it all.

Once she's simmered down enough and news of the death of Quinn's mother reached her, she began to look through the logical part of her brain to revisit what she saw and along with it to regret her sudden decision.

Maybe she was too hasty. Maybe she was being overdramatic like always. Maybe he was just helping Quinn as a friend.

But then news of their engagement broke out like wildfire and when there was no denial coming from Noah and when it became apparent to her that he is not even considering her through it all, it was then that she knew that maybe… no… surely, she had it right all along.

And then there was… there was…

Rachel shook her head as her musings took her back once more to the happiest, scariest, loneliest day of her life.

Thank God for Finn. Whatever mistakes he had made towards her in the past he had made up for it a thousandfold.

That night when she ended up outside his door, she didn't even have any intention to go straight to him. It was as if her subconscious has brought her back right outside his doorstep just like any other time in the past when she was emotionally hurt and mentally battered.

He had stayed with her through the worst.

When she had cut herself off from the rest of the world and he is the only one she can lean on, he was there. Cleaning up after her, looking after her.

He had kept her secret and listened to her. When she felt like she had no one to talk to not even Kurt, he sat beside her holding her hand through it all.

He was sturdy.

Unwavering.

A true friend that definitely went beyond the boundaries of what that word truly means and when everything came to pass, he encouraged her to pick up the pieces again and to make something out of her self and to forget her pain by fixing her up with auditions.

He flew to London almost every month to visit. Shuttling back and forth between New York whenever it's off season as he physically exhausted himself with the long flights and sacrificing the time that he should have spent on endorsements just to be there, right beside her.

He submitted her portfolio to almost every production that he knew of. Pulling strings and using his connections that she didn't even knew he had just to bring back her self esteem. And when that succeeded and when work started pouring in, she started to appreciate him even further because without her realizing, she began to feel alive again.

It is not an understatement to say that Finn did everything to fix her up.

But sadly, she can never be truly fixed.

She can never be whole again.

Not when despite all the pain and hurt that she had gone through all these time, her heart still aches when she thinks of Noah.

A fact that Finn had always known and which she had never kept from him but still he keeps waiting.

Hoping.

Patiently biding his time in the hope that one day she will learn to love him again the same way he loves her, and he does all this silently.

Sincerely.

Never pushing her nor questioning her or asking for anything in return as if it's enough to him that she knows how he truly feels about her.

How she wish she can return that love, but how can she when she felt as if she would never learn to love another as much as she did Noah?

Going away had not done her any good.

The passing of time may have dulled the ache but it had left an ugly scar.

She doesn't know what would happen now that she's in the same city where the person she ran away from is but in her heart she knew.

They could never bring back the past nor take another chance at what they had back then.

They are different people now. She is not the same Rachel who believes that love would conquer everything.

She had been through so much hurt, so much pain.

She does not think she can go through another episode like that again.

In her heart she'd always love Noah.

Always.

But there's no use bringing back the past as she had long accepted that maybe, they really are not meant to be together.

That chapter in her life is now over. She had closed that door six years ago when she decided to let years pass by before she returned.

But as if her memories were tempting her and taunting her, Rachel turned her head and saw her kitchen counter and she can picture Noah standing across from her vividly.

He had that roguish grin back on his face as he donned an apron while cooking for her.

There, in that very same kitchen counter where they shared their dreams and heartaches and lots of laughter along with their countless meals together.

The very kitchen counter where they first made love.

Jolted by the ringing of her mobile phone, Rachel fished it out of her coat pocket as a smile makes it way across her face reading Finn's name on caller ID. Answering the phone with glee, she turned her back on the source of the dull ache that she now feels in her heart as she cleared her throat to ease the sudden lump that she now feels at the back of her throat.

"Hello?"

"Did the movers arrive? Are your boxes already there?"

He asked worriedly, not even bothering to greet her back.

Rachel lets out a smile. She can just imagine Finn with his brows knitted together, his lips pursed in thought as once again he concentrates on whatever purpose it is that he has in mind when he first called her.

"Yep… it's all here… no worries…"

She can almost hear him breathe a sigh of relief from across the line, his voice instantly becoming more upbeat as that problem got solved and is now out of the way.

"So how does it feel to be back?"

"I don't know- I haven't been here long enough to even comment…"

He chuckled from across the line as Rachel smiled back at the receiver before thanking him as she enjoyed her last minute of peace and quiet to be able to check on the house which she couldn't really do if not once again for his assistance.

"Thanks by the way … I know that you're really tired having flown back here with us but I just needed to see the house so taking -"

Finn cuts her off midsentence.

"No need to mention it… You know it's always a pleasure…"

Rachel could feel the sincerity in his voice, but even without that, she knows how much he loves the task that she's given him and she can't help but feel an overwhelming sense of gratitude as to how greatly he had figured in her life in so many ways that she can't even begin to imagine.

"Would you like to have dinner outside?"

He asked her casually in a non-date kind of way which earned a grimace from Rachel not because he asked but because the idea of being in a crowd tonight does not really appeal to her.

"I'm actually a bit tired… I was thinking of cooking dinner at home for us, but the pots and pans are not here yet so-"

She let her voice trail off, disappointed at this turn of events that seem to have put a wrench into Finn's plans as she's not really in the mood to be anywhere crowded just to eat.

There was a sudden beat of silence on the other end of the line and Rachel can just imagine the wheels in Finn's head turning.

"Tell you what…. Check on the stuff that you need for the house and let's meet at Times? You still remember that Department store near your apartment don't you?"

Rachel gave out a short peal of laughter.

"Of course, silly! It's not as if I was gone for a very long time! It was only six years…"

Finn scratched his head ruefully at that as he realized the truth in Rachel's words as she laughed at him.

"Okay… okay… you know how dense I can sometimes be… We'll meet at Times and buy the stuff you need and then let's just order for take out so that you can rest… How does that sound?"

Rachel shrugged.

"Well… given that it's a weekday and midafternoon so crowds are thin… Sounds pretty good to me…"

She agreed goodnaturedly.

"I'll meet you there, say in an hour? An hour and a half? Let's just buy the necessities and then we can have the others shipped online… "

"You're the boss…"

Rachel said obediently as Finn grinned at that.

"Alrighty … I'd see you then…"

"See you…"

And even before Rachel can put the phone back down, she heard Finn speaking into the speaker in a rush.

"Rachel…"

"Yeah?"

She asked curiously. There was a pregnant pause before he spoke again as if he is deliberating long and hard whether to tell her what it is that he wanted to say…

"It's good to have you back… to be able to see you…

He paused as if for effect…

"Everyday…."

He said the words with such sincerity that Rachel was stunned for a moment. It was seldom that he brings up his feelings but when he does, she is always at a loss as to how to react or what to tell him that most of the time she only ends up feeling guilty.

Clearing his throat as if he didn't just say anything of importance, Finn put down the phone leaving Rachel in a daze.

Unthinkingly, she once again turned her head towards the kitchen counter and imagined Finn now taking on the pose that she was imagining Noah doing awhile ago, in an apron, grinning at her while cooking but she only succeeded in imagining Noah leaning against it with his hands over his chest as he sulked and pouted while glaring at her in jealousy.

Against her will, Rachel felt herself smiling.

She then picks up her purse and leaves the apartment but not before brushing her hands across the cool marble of the kitchen countertop as if by doing so she can feel the warmth of the man whom she may have tried to forget but who still now occupies the biggest space inside her heart.

* * *

Times is known to have a long tradition having been one of the oldest department stores in New York.

Currently, it is the largest retailer in the country and having a flagship store in different countries that rivals the size of even that of Macy's, it is truly an amazing feat for a homegrown business.

However, what's even more impressive than that is the fact that Puckerman Holdings was able to acquire 60 percent of shares in its directorship board and is now sitting as the major stockholder of the corporation in a move that can only be dubbed as the coup of the century which of course was orchestrated by none other than Noah Puckerman.

The man who is now striding along its floors with tons of lackeys surrounding him as he pointed out changes that he'd want to happen to the store so that his plans of improvement can come to fruition to truly make the store "world class".

Looking at the brands dominating the floors of the exclusive mall, there is no doubt that it caters to a certain market.

To the rich and famous of and that is the branding and image that Noah would want to retain for the longest time, hence his hands on approach to the business revamp which normally he would just leave to his most competent marketing directors.

Turning to his secretary who was busily taking notes about all the changes that he wanted to happen, Noah started barking orders as his secretary scrambled to get all of his comments on paper.

"Get me the retail director I want to meet with her tomorrow at 9 AM sharp. The customer service associates should also-"

_**(**__**Picture perfect memories**__  
__**Scattered all around the floor**__  
__**Reaching for the phone 'cause**__  
__**I can't fight it anymore)**_

Noah's voice trailed off midsentence as from a distance he saw someone unexpected.

A person whom he knew he'd meet again one time or another but not in a random time and place such as this.

Someone whom he had thought he had exorcised from his life but who still continue to haunt his dreams.

Someone who can make his heart beat the way it's doing now, like it is going to leap out of his chest at any given moment…

_Rachel Berry._

In his mind, he said her name breathlessly.

As if he was devoid of oxygen for the longest time and is now just learning once again to breathe.

_**(**__**And I wonder if I**__  
__**Ever cross your mind**__  
__**For me it happens all the time)**_

She stood from across him still unaware of his presence as she continued to check on the shoe that was in her hands with a bemused smile on her face like she doesn't have a care in the world about what's going on around her.

A more grown up, sophisticated version of the woman whom he shared three months of his life with that felt like a lifetime and which had changed him forever.

He had imagined this moment many times in his head.

Of the time when they'd come face to face again and when he would stare her in the face dead on, devoid of any feeling or emotion as their eyes meet like she is a complete stranger to him.

But nothing had prepared him for this. No matter how many times he had braced himself and schooled himself not to feel anything for her, it was still as if he was the bumbling, lovestruck man who fell in love with her.

_**(**__**It's a quarter after one**__  
__**I'm all alone**__  
__**And I need you now**__  
__**And I said I wouldn't call**__  
__**But I've lost all control**__  
__**And I need you now**__  
__**And I don't know how**__  
__**I can do without**__  
__**I just need you now)**_

And he was back to becoming the person he was six years ago.

Hopeful.

Expectant.

The one who's fervently wishing and hoping that this time around he'd get the only thing he wished for which is to live a happy life with the person in front of him and he would be willing to give up anything.

_Everything__._

Feeling his eyes boring into her, Rachel lifted her head slowly to look for the source of the prickly feeling that she had at the back of her head. Swivelling her head subtly from left to right, she lets out an audible gasp as she saw Noah from the storefront window looking straight at her.

_**(**__**Another shot of whiskey**__  
__**Can't stop looking at the door**__  
__**Wishing you'd come sweeping**__  
__**In the way you did before)**_

Feeling herself go numb, the shoe that she was holding dropped from her hands slowly.

Time ceased to exist.

Everything just fading into the background.

At that moment there's only him and her and it was as if the years of hurt and pain melted away.

Noah Puckerman.

She imagined the name passing from her lips.

Like a chant or a plea that she would want to keep repeating if only to tell him how empty her life had been without him beside her.

_**(And I wonder if I**__  
__**ever cross your mind**__  
__**For me it happens all the time)**_

The people from Noah's entourage started to notice.

Whispers passing on from one person to the other as they notice a seemingly momentous occasion that they know they should remember but just couldn't quite put a finger on.

Noah and Rachel continued to stare at each other. His eyes curious and inquisitive as if wanting to ask her the question that had long been unanswered since she left him without another word,while hers was discerning and perceiving as if she wanted to see into his very soul.

_Why did you leave me?_

_Do you still think of me as much as I do about you?_

_****__**(**__**It's a quarter after one**__  
__**I'm a little drunk**__  
__**And I need you now**__  
__**And I said I wouldn't call**__  
__**But I've lost all control**__  
__**And I need you now**__  
__**And I don't know how**__  
__**I can do without**__  
__**I just need you now)**_

And in that moment, all the vows that Noah seemed to have made to himself about hating her and loathing her seem to have never happened.

He took a tentative step forward. One that's hardly noticeable but it spoke volumes of how much he's willing to bury the hatchet because the way he's feeling about her now can't just simply be ignored.

"Mommy!"

He was jolted out of his reverie by the sound of that child's voice. His gaze following Rachel's as she removed her gaze from his to pin it on the child hurtling towards her instead as the girl tugged on the hand of the laughing man who was happily lagging behind her.

(_**Guess I'd rather hurt**__  
__**Than feel nothing at all)**_

He saw Rachel crouch down and open her arms to welcome the child in her embrace while the child steadfastly held on to Finn Hudson's hand while looking at him adoringly in the same exact way that Rachel did when he first saw that picture of them exiting that coffeehouse when she abandoned him six years ago.

AND HE IMMEDIATELY TOOK TWO STEPS BACKWARD AT THAT EXACT MOMENT WHEN HIS BUBBLE BURST.

_**(**__**It's a quarter after one**__  
__**I'm all alone**__  
__**And I need you now**__  
__**And I said I wouldn't call**__  
__**But I'm a little drunk**__  
__**And I need you now**__  
__**And I don't know how**__  
__**I can do without**__  
__**I just need you now)**__  
_

"I thought you'd never get here…"

Finn said with a laugh.

"Sophie was starting to get cranky even if I was just about to buy her the whole toy department…"

He rolled his eyes in a seeming gesture of exasperation but the laughter in his face belied the feeling as he seemed to really be enjoying every second of it.

Noticing Rachel's smile that seemed to be glued on her face, Finn frowned in confusion. He followed her gaze and his smile immediately disappeared when he saw who was the cause of her trance like state…

One of the directors behind Noah cleared his throat taking that bold step of moving them forward as he checked his watch and saw that they had to be back in the boardroom in 30 minutes and that they still had 4 floors left to see.

Looking at Noah looking at Rachel the director tentatively tells him.

"Noah… Your mother will be calling in in a teleconference in 30 minutes…"

Noah remained frozen in place as if he didn't hear anything.

"Is she someone you know?"

The director asked curiously and Noah almost laughed at the question because he doesn't just know Rachel.

He has memorized her smell… her taste… the sound of her voice. He knows her like he knows the back of his hands well. He had explored every nook and cranny of her body and he can read into her like he's reading into his very own soul.

But what good does it do? When she broke his heart again unknowingly today and it hurts him more just when he thought that she had already hurt him the most.

_**(**__**Oh baby, I need you now)**_

"No… She was just an old acquaintance that I knew but we're not particularly close…"

And without a second glance, he continued walking.

Noah's voice carried over to where Rachel and Finn were standing.

His last words echoing into her head as she almost gasped aloud at the sharp twinge in her chest when he said it.

Finn looked at her. He held her by the elbow as Rachel's knees threatened to buckle from beneath her.

"Are you okay?"

He asked worriedly and she nodded. Exerting all effort to put on a smile on her face as Sophie now in Finn's arms touched her face with concern.

"Are you hurt mommy?"

Sophie's eyes were wide with fear and as she looked into them, Rachel gave her a shaky smile as for the first time ever, she lied to her daughter.

"No baby… it doesn't hurt…"

She looked up towards the direction where Noah was at just a couple of seconds ago and garnering all the courage that she can get at that particular moment, she gathered Sophie close to her in a hug and whispered in her ear…

"It SHOULDN'T hurt …Not anymore…"


	18. Love the way you Lie

**LOVE THE WAY YOU LIE - RIHANNA**

_On the first page of our story, the future seems so bright.__  
__And this thing turned out so evil, I don't know why I'm still surprised.__  
__Even angels have their wicked schemes and you take death to new extremes.__  
__But you'll always be my hero, even though you lost your mind._

_Just gonna stand there and watch me burn,__  
__But that's alright because I like the way it hurts.__  
__Just gonna stand there and hear me cry,__  
__But that's alright because I love the way you lie, I love the way you lie.__  
__I love the way you lie._

_Now there's gravel in our voices, glass is shattered from the fight.__  
__In this tug of war, you'll always win, even when I'm right.__  
__Cause you feed me fables from your hand,__  
__With violent words and empty threats and it's sick that all these battles are what keeps me satisfied._

_Just gonna stand there and watch me burn,__  
__But that's alright because I like the way it hurts.__  
__Just gonna stand there and hear me cry,__  
__But that's alright because I love the way you lie, I love the way you lie.__  
__Ohhh, I love the way you lie._

_So maybe I'm a masochist__  
__I try to run but I don't wanna ever leave.__  
__Til the walls are goin' up in smoke with all our memories_

**CHAPTER SIXTEEN**

Eversince he was young, Finn Hudson has always known that he was privileged to have been born into a well respected family…

Being the only son of a decorated National Defense general whom everyone still remembers for being a war hero and to a genius of a scriptwriter mother whose works not only garnered commercial success but also critical acclaim, Finn should have been used to the glamour, glitz and luxury of a life born into the limelight.

However, despite the trappings of the enchanting life that his parents supposedly lived which other people admired them for and envy, to Finn, no matter how larger than life some people may view his mother and father as, they would always just forever simply remain to be his beloved parents.

As the years go by, he now only has a vague recollection of his mothers lavender smell and soft hands when she hug him close to her or of his fathers boisterous laughter of pride when he does something that pleases him.

He had certain memories of them that stand out vividly in his head as if they just happened yesterday and then there are memories of them that are very faint that somehow he's not even sure if it was real or if it was something that he just made up in his head.

As he grew up, the pain he feels over their absence slowly dulled into an empty ache. That, coupled with the occassional regret that he always had of losing them at such an early age.

Nonetheless, no matter how much he's lived his life to the fullest even without them beside him, there was one thing that has never ever changed despite the passing of years.

His deep desire and longing to be a part once again of a cohesive family.

The kind that would fill the gap in his life which his mother and father left eversince their death.

One that he would have for the rest of his life.

The kind that he would not need to imagine nor fantasize about because in all of his years of loneliness, despite the mistakes he's done in the past, it is something that is rightfully his and would be given to him because he was patient enough.

Because he deserves it as an exchange for all the good things that he has done magnanimously despite all the bad stroke of hand that fate had given him repeatedly throughout the course of his young and isolated life.

Consumed by these thoughts and nursing the hot cup of coffee that Rachel just made for him in his hands after having their late lunch, he sat quietly by himself in Rachel's kitchen counter as he fixed his gaze on the ceramic that is now warming his hands as if looking deeply into its depths would give him the answers that he's looking for.

As he took a sip from the full mug, Finn turns his head slowly to throw a pensive glance inside Sophie's bedroom which is visible to him from across where he was sitting.

An action that he has already repeated for quite a number of times that afternoon as if he can't seem to look away from the sight before him.

Understandably enough, when one gets to see Rachel and her child together, the sight is really impossible to resist as it seemed to have come out of a storybook with both mother and child looking almost picture perfect.

With a slight smile on his face, Finn looked at Rachel cradling Sophie in her arms as she put her down for an afternoon nap. Rachel reading aloud from one of her favorite books as Sophie visibly fights off sleep, her long lashes fluttering softly and slowly against her chubby cheeks as she slowly loses the battle against slumber.

How many times had he seen the exact same thing?

In the course of six years, perhaps countless.

But still, this exact same scene never fails to warm his heart.

To fill in the void left by the things he's never had or take the place of the emptiness of the love that he's lost and which he'd always yearned for.

To inspire him towards a future that he would give everything just to be his, and in moments like this, he can almost pretend that indeed Rachel and Sophie are his. That they are his family and that they indeed both belong to him.

Has it really been six years?

Time seemed to have passed by so fast.

It felt as if it was only yesterday when Rachel first reappeared on his doorstep and when they took that fateful trip to London together.

At that time, he thought of how lucky he was to have a second chance with her.

That perhaps it is the opportunity that he's been waiting for to atone for the sins that he's done unto her in order for him to get back her love and trust and forgiveness even if has to make up for it for the rest of his life.

In reality, it turned out to be really that way. But then, it is in a way that he had never expected and in a far removed way that he had never even imagined.

The first few days was excruciating.

Seeing Rachel waste away before his very eyes as he watched her struggle with her feelings for Noah was sheer torture.

He felt helpless…

Insecure…

Jealous.

In the mornings she seem to always be deep in thought and at night, he hears her crying herself to sleep all the time.

A fact that made him want to get on the first flight out to New Yorkjust to give Noah a punch that he truthfully deserves.

But then as the days pass by, things started to change. Rachel's optimistic nature started to come forth as she considered going back to the States and sitting down with Noah so that they can talk things over. Her forgiving heart rose to the surface as she thought that maybe it was a misunderstanding and that things are not as bad as she had imagined. She slowly became like her old self again and they slowly fell back into the pattern of their old friendship as she bounced her uncertainties and doubts about her long awaited reunion with Noah off him.

And then as if the fates were really testing her, it happened.

When news about Noah's reconciliation with Quinn became big news, Rachel was devastated. Her flagging spirits seemed to have deflated once again as the denial that she was expecting from Noah did not come forth. That, combined with the tabloid photographs and accounts of Noah and Quinn being seen constantly together seem to break her little by little until by the time the news died down, she was a person different from that which she was before.

And the days after that was when they knew of Sophie.

When Rachel heard the news about Noah and Quinn as she surfed through the internet she threw up.

A fact that both of them had chalked down to shock and the hurt that she felt over the circumstances which seemed to be manifesting itself in her physically, But then it happened again.

And again.

And again.

And by then both of them knew.

When Rachel's pregnancy was confirmed she was shell shocked.

An emotion that lasted only for a day as she seemed to have gathered all of her remaining courage to become a woman full of resolve.

A Rachel who seem to be tougher as she promised herself that she would not have anything to do with a man who obviously is not gonna get over his first love and who doesn't want her so before he even had the chance to reject her, she'd spare her baby the hurt of feeling the same way.

Thinking about it, he thought at that time that Rachel was being immature, illogical and truthfully, unfair to Noah, but then, as her friend and someone who was responsible for hurting her, all he wanted was to be on her side and to understand her better more than anyone else, especially during that trying time.

However, that doesn't mean that there are not days when he came so close to telling Noah the truth especially when he sees Rachel sitting about in a daze or locking herself in her room for days.

Sadly, no matter how much the temptation may be, he's always sane enough to know that it is Rachel's responsibility and telling Puck is not really his place.

He was also a casualty.

A victim of war.

An unwilling captive caught in the crossfire between the woman he loves and the man who had taken his place.

That doesn't mean however that there were no days wherein he wanted to take arms and fight her battle for her.

Days like that come and go.

Days when he wants nothing else but to punch the living daylights out of Puck before begging him on his hands and knees to fix Rachel up again and make her whole.

Times like when she'd get a scare about losing the baby or when she can't sleep because of the hardships she's undergoing both physically and emotionally just to carry Puck's child.

It was also during this period of time when he'd painfully realize that no matter what he does and even if he's the one beside her, he'd never be enough.

And then he wonders if she had ever cried for him as much as she did for Noah or if her love for him had ever been as great.

Selflessly, these questions took a back seat as he took on the role of her husband…

Her friend…

Her father and brother as he helped her go through a very scary and difficult pregnancy that she had to rest in bed alone for months and months or else lose the baby that in return, she lost her career and popularity because she deliberately shunned the spotlight.

For awhile, he thought about getting traded for a European team just to be constantly beside her.

He was only pacified with Rachel's reassurance that she'd be okay as he hired a personal nurse to look after her while he flew back and forth between New York and London to play during football season so that someone is taking care of her whenever he is not around.

By this time, they've cut themselves off from the rest of their friends.

Kurt almost throwing curses at both of them when Finn lied to him that he really does not know of Rachel's whereabouts, that he had swore to both of them that he'd never speak to them again.

Despite the fact that he knew that it pains Rachel to hurt one of her bestest friends, he also knew that in her heart, she's wishing for his understanding until such time when she can finally tell him the truth and when she can already look back on the life she's left head on without having to lie at all.

As time went by, the news about the four of them has also died down considerably.

Aside from a smattering of articles regarding Noah's womanizing and business conquests and Quinn's booming career, none else was written about them.

Everyone seemed to have forgotten about what happened except for Rachel.

In her eyes and smile there was the maturity of a woman who was forced to grow up fast. Her rose colored way of looking at life obviously shattered as she journeys on towards a new beginning with no one else but Sophie and him beside her.

When her daughter was born, it was as if Rachel had found newfound strength.

She dedicated herself to raising her child while making a name for herself again and through it all Finn had always been there for them.

He loves them so much that it was almost an ache inside him.

However, today, today was a rude awakening from his dream that no matter how much he imagined that they are his family, he knows that always, always they'd belong to someone else.

And it will forever be that way unless Rachel puts her feelings to rest and then he can finally have a chance for everything that he has built his life and hopes and dreams upon and he can only pray and hope and once again, he waits.

Finn lifted his head and looks at Rachel pensively as she walks about the kitchen with a tired expression on her face.

Automatically, she starts clearing the table. She puts on an apron while clicking on the TV to fill in the stillness inside the room that is now slowly starting to suffocate her.

She had barely spoken a word since she saw Noah this afternoon. The smile that she had on her face appearing to have been pasted on for the sake of appearances rather than because she finds anything to really smile about.

Turning her back to Finn as she washed the dishes on the kitchen sink, her shoulders jerked visibly in surprise when he called out to her. His voice pierced into the realm of her consciousness as she waded through a mass of incoherent thoughts and long buried feelings that she had no intention of recalling but all of it seemed to have been triggered by the surprise of meeting Noah again.

"You ok?"

His voice was soft and coaxing as if encouraging her to once again unload her burdens and pass it onto him.

She turned around.

The smile which she had on her face the entire afternon now faltering.

"Yeah-"

She wanted to appear nonchalant… carefree… However, her attention was suddenly captured by the news on TV and even before she can stop herself, she felt the color draining from her face as she gripped the kitchen sink for support as if her life depended on it.

_"On to other news… it has been made official that the takeover of Puckerman Industries for Lotus Productions is now in full effect. Noah Puckerman, Puckerman Industries head and CEO will sit as head of the board and would look over the entire operation of the business… In an interview conducted last Wednesday…"_

The rest of the sentence was drowned out by the sound of her own heartbeat thudding in her ears.

The contract she signed up for…

That movie she came back for…

How can she work under a man that she swore to believe have never existed?

A man whose mere presence can make her forget everything as if she was under his spell?

A man who had brought her so much hurt and pain that she gave up everything dear and close to her just to get away from him?

And what about Sophie?

Oh god… What about Sophie?

Rachel started to speak in a trembling voice. A crazed look coming into her eyes as she once again started to plan impulsively.

Hastily.

"SHIT! I have to call my lawyers. I have to get my screenplay back and - and- I can't work for him Finn… I can't! Does he know? Do you think he's responsible for that offer that I have received to produce the script I wrote and star in it? I have only spent half of the contract money and I can take a loan - I can still pay - "

Her words tumbled out of her mouth rapidly.

Brokenly.

She barely made any sense as she was consumed by an anxiety so intense that she almost wanted to run away from him again.

"This is not right- We shouldn't have come back - I should have -"

She whispered under her breath, caught in the frenzy of this discovery that she barely noticed Finn walking up to her and only looking at him with a jolt when she felt his hands on her shoulders.

"And what? And live your life again as if you're a fugitive? A criminal?"

She lifted panicked eyes to Finn. She felt her heart starting to calm down as his reassuring voice slowly broke through her feelings of desperation.

"Does it only take this much to scare you? This is not the Rachel I know. I thought you're over him and you'd never let Puck affect you? "

Rachel slumped into the kitchen stool behind her as if she's suddenly lost all the fight in her and Finn watched her as he continued speaking.

"Did I ever tell you the reason why I allowed myself to be friends with you? When I first thought to myself that maybe you're not that bad at all?"

Rachel looked at Finn curiously. She didn't speak a word but she is awashed with interest for Finn to continue with what it is that he's trying to tell her.

"It was that time when you fought off the bullies in our school who wanted to take away my drums. "

He smiled a little at the memory, seemingly lost in thought in that time in the past when they were younger and more innocent.

"You looked like a hellcat. You were a scrap of a girl at seven and there you were defending me and I thought to myself, Man she's brave. When your parents died and you were standing there at the funeral stopping yourself from crying I once again thought that to myself and that was not the last. "

He paused for awhile as if he's looking for the right words to tell her.

"When we broke up and you picked up the pieces of your life again, when you got your heart broken and you got pregnant, when you gave birth to Sophie…"

He paused as if to let his words sink in.

"Today."

He smiled as he saw her look at him with tender affection.

"I've always thought that you were the bravest person I met, so where's that courage now?"

He took his hands off her shoulders only to put his finger under her chin until they were at eye level and he looked at her in the eyes.

"If you want to move on, If there's really a desire in yourself to forget Puck, this may be just the thing that you're looking for. What happened between you is a thing of the past. You can't run away for the rest of your life. You have to face the music sometime Rachel. And now is that time. You have to do it for yourself, for Sophie, and for mine."

He whispered the last words and she knew just what he meant.

He was always there for her, always waiting in the sidelines and she knew that he is getting impatient for her to once again see past him as a friend and to see him as a man.

Rachel felt herself getting teary eyed.

She knew that what he is saying is right. She is overwhelmed with the gratefulness in her heart over this man who may have hurt her in the past but who has truly dedicated himself to being there for her wholeheartedly as a friend.

Considerately.

A man who also seem to have been held prisoner by time just as she had been as he waited for her to move on so that he could also do the same…

"Wouldn't you - wouldn't you mind me being that close to him again?"

She asked tentatively in an effort to show concern for his feelings.

He gave her a sad, wry smile as an answer…

"I would. But I need to know too. If I stand a chance and maybe, just maybe, this time it will be a gamble that I would win."

He bowed his head to hide the sadness in his eyes before putting on an encouraging expression on his face as he gave her a wry smile.

"Cheer up, Berry."

It was not his action but his words and the kindness of his heart that seemed to have given her the strength that she needs.

Impulsively, Rachel hugs him instead. Surprising him with the gesture before he lets out a wide smile as he slowly raised his hands up to her back to hug her even closer to him.

Pulling away from him and wiping her hands on her apron as she felt recharged with a firmer grasp on things, Rachel turns around again to continue washing the dishes.

Her step is lighter. Her mind, clearer. Once again she is lost in thought already about the next steps she's going to take about Noah and it was as if she have already forgotten Finn's presence.

Finn who is now staring at her back with so much longing.

The same Finn who can only hope that he made the right move today and that in the end, she will truly have forgotten.

Enough that she can finally give him the long awaited chance that he had long been waiting for so that he can fulfill his dreams with her and Sophie and maybe, just maybe this time everything will be a reality.

* * *

The view from the 40th floor boardroom of Puckerman Industries main office was truly majestic.

First of all, there was the all encompassing view of the Hudson River and then there was the panoramic picture of Central Park andBrooklynBridge.

To someone uninitiated, it was a scene that would truly leave one breathless. However, Noah has seen the exact same thing countless numbers of times already in his entire lifetime. A fact that most of his stockholders and majority of his directors know which is now serving as the cause of their frustration as Noah's gaze seemed to be fixed on the window before him rather than on the presentation that had been going on inside the room for the past hour.

Truth be told, he is still a mess of emotions after seeing Rachel this afternoon. He can't even begin to make sense of the way that he truly feels as of this moment that it renders him almost practically unable to think about anything except for what happened in the span of that few minutes when Rachel and him were once again face to face.

She stood before him unblinking. A cold, pokerfaced, unforgiving version of the Rachel he's known as she stared at him head on as if she barely even knew him and that there was nothing that she needs to apologize to him about.

And him?

He's sure he looked like a besotted fool.

The kind that had carried the torch for her over the course of the years that she was not around.

A man who was willing to let himself be trampled on again and again just for that single moment of a chance to hold her in his arms once again.

_What a Fucking cliché._

Despite the promises he's made himself, despite his guarantees, who'd have thought that he would immediately forget the pain that he's suffered the moment he laid his eyes on her again?

It had only taken a moment.

A single glance and like crack is to an addict, he would have given his soul at that moment for that chance of a lifetime to touch her once again.

What the hell is wrong with him? Why can't he forget her? She should have been worthless to him by now just like how she had seemed to have easily moved on and forgotten all about him. He had ruthlessly cut himself off from the people who used to matter in his life to protect himself from further pain but why can't he do the same with her? Why not her, when she is the woman who is the cause of all his suffering?

Like a punch in the gut, she broke his heart before and he remembered how she broke it again today.

Seeing her with her happiness with Finn and her - and their child was like a slap in the face.

As he stood there watching them alone, he felt bereft.

Deprived of everything as he realized that she left him truly bare. Armed only with his bitterness and regrets and nothing else but the years of sorrow eating away at his very soul. She robbed him of the opportunity for his happiness, for that single chance to be the one beside her as they build the family that she now has with another like she's ruined him for life and he is not even capable of having the same with anyone else.

Just the thought fills him with resentment. More than anything else, he is even angrier at himself for having gone soft on her. For being vulnerable and for succumbing to his feelings and for once again longing to have the things she has for herself which he dreamt of having once upon a time with her.

But no matter how hard he gets on himself for being all these things, it's the face of her daughter which seem to haunt him.

The child that has Rachel's eyes and her smile.

In that fleeting moment, when he fixed his gaze on her, he is almost reminded of a time when Rachel and him were happier.

When she was warmer and more innocent, a time when he believed that they had a chance of a happy ever after.

As if echoing the sentiments that are currently going on in his head, Noah's ears perked up as he heard Rachel's name being mentioned by the presentor in front of the room.

His former disinterest now piqued as he look at her smiling face on the video presentation in front of him as if it was a direct answer to his thoughts.

"What did you say? Repeat that part about Rachel Berry."

He said commandingly from where he was seated.

The presentor swallowed nervously at Noah's almost fanatical gaze. The attendees of the meeting starting to fidget as they wonder what loophole he might now be seeing to cause him to become more involved seeing how previously quiet and detached he was just moments ago.

"S—sir?"

The presentor stuttered. Noah sighing with barely concealed impatience as he repeated his words once again.

"Are you deaf? That part about Rachel Berry. Go over it again."

The presentor appeared to be flustered as he looked back through his cue cards before flashing to the page where Rachel's face was at once again along with several other people.

He continued stiltedly, treading on eggshells as he waited for Noah to make a snide and cutting but completely accurate comment as he is wont to do.

"In relation to the takeover for Lotus, we have also bought the rights for several of their movie projects that are about to go into production. One of which is the screenplay that Rachel Berry wrote about a small town girl who rose to fame on Broadway and she is not only acting as a scriptwriter and production consultant but is also taking the lead role. She will be- "

"When can I see and go over the screenplay? When is the start of pre-production?"

The employee loosened his collar.

Noah's reputation precedes him. He is known for having no patience with people who seem to not be able to understand the simplest of his questions.

"Right now, we have already signed on the director but we are still in the process of casting. Miss Berry had just arrived in the country and she is also putting the finishing touches on the material so we're looking at six months. Given the-"

Noah's voice cut into the room with finality…

"Two weeks. Let's start pre-prod in two weeks. I want to see what she has in mind so have her report to me."

The executives eyes widened in surprise as he noted how impossible Noah's request was considering that Rachel still has several scenes to finish which was made even more impossible by the fact that she just moved back and arrived in the country.

"Sir- given the time period it is highly improbable that…"

Noah leaned forward, the room growing eerily quiet that you can almost hear a pin drop while everyone held their breath in anticipation of his next move.

He stared at the employee fixatedly, a sarcastic expression now on his face as he looked at him condescendingly.

"Your name? Is your name Rachel Berry? Are you working for her or for me? If you think this request is irrational then I suggest you get out of my payroll and get into hers. You seem to consider her situation more than that of the company, anyway."

He cocked his eyebrows at him, the employee immediately lowering his gaze as he mumbled an apology.

"Yes Mr Puckerman. Should we get in touch with her so that she can make an appointment for a meeting with you?"

The heads of the other people present in the room swiveled towards Noah in interest. Noah leaned back against his seat as he drummed his fingers thoughtfully on top of the table.

"There's no need."

They all turned to each other in confusion.

Noah now swiveling his chair once again to stare at the view as he kept his back from the rest of them.

"She will come. Even if we don't call, believe me, she'd come."

And with finality, Noah thought how this opportunity will be the perfect chance to once and for all, wash himself off her as he make her life as miserable as his when she left him.

He can't hardly wait.

Let the mindgames begin.

* * *

Armed only with nerves of steel and fuelled by her anger, Rachel rode the elevator going towards the Presidents office of Puckerman Industries two days after.

It had taken her a lot of deliberation and consideration to decide whether or not she'd come to see Noah today or if she'd stoop down to his level but she's reached the end of her patience with his silly, childish games and this is the only way she sees on how they can meet at a level playing field without getting personal even if in reality what she really wanted to do was to smack some sense into him.

Really?

Is he running some sort of mafia organization?

How dare he pressure her into doing this film right away when he knows that the screenplay is in its finishing stages?

He knows that she needs time.

There was Sophie's preschool to consider and getting a nanny and not only has she not met with the director but she has not even seen nor heard the demos for the singing parts.

Is he still holding a grudge? Is he really so arrogant to believe that he deserves an explanation for their non-break up considering the fact that he was the one who cheated on her? Does he think she will get scared just because of his petty, threatening ways?

Well then, he's got another think coming.

Exhaling deeply as she seethes with rage, Rachel was barely aware of her surroundings as the elevator doors opened with a soft ding.

The entire waiting area of his office was covered in thick, plush carpeting.

There were zen inspired couches scattered around the room unobtrusively as from a large desk in front, sat two secretaries.

The room was tastefully done, the lighting similar to that of a high end museum as was the paintings and sculptures adorning the room.

There was no doubt that it was indeed the Presidents office,the big boss himself, the man who is causing Rachel all this undue stress both professionally and personally.

She was almost near the door of his office which was tucked away discreetly just to the left of the secretaries table when one of them stopped her.

The woman was so strikingly beautiful that she could have just stepped out of the pages of Vogue at this very moment. She had this smart, classy feel about her and Rachel was not surprised to hear that when she spoke, even her voice came out extremely polished.

How typical of a player. She scoffs. He doesn't only have a secretary who screens his calls but one who also had the potential to warm his bed.

Rachel felt herself getting angrier at the thought. Annoyed with herself for still being jealous despite the fact that by now, these trivial things shouldn't even bother her or affect her in the least.

Straightening her petite frame to her full height, she looked at the secretary with fake confidence.

"Excuse me, I'm looking for Noah Puckerman."

The secretary looked at her curiously, noticing the annoyance in her voice as she almost spat her boss's name out loud.

"Do you have an appointment?"

"An app-appointment?"

Rachel repeated foolishly. She is mollified just a little when realization sank in that this is not the Noah of old that she's going to see but rather the head of a multi billion dollar global corporation.

The secretary nodded condescendingly. Rachel raised her chin in pride in order to protect herself from the embarrassment that she's sure is about to come.

"No. But tell him it's Rachel. Rachel Berry."

The secretary's eyes widened in recognition when she took off her sunglasses. An excited look came over her face as she nudged the secretary beside her in a not so subtle manner in an obvious warning that the woman whom their boss was once in a scandal with was right in the midst of their presence before she once again put on a professional façade and buzzed for him.

From where she's standing Rachel can hear their hushed conversation. She can sense the secretary looking at her as he spoke to Noah, perhaps in pity, as she sensed that no doubt he would once again use this chance to unashamedly pull rank and have the upper hand on her.

Unexpectedly, the secretary's next words were far from what she was predicting. Noah's next move filled her with surprise and apprehension as his secretary graciously told her that he'd see her before she led her towards his main office without a need for further delay or explanation.

His room was vast. Almost as large as an entire apartment. She was led and asked to sit in a waiting room that was separate from where he's seated but she can still see and hear what he's doing leisurely as she crossed her legs and folded her hands on her lap to appear calm and collected despite the violent beating in her chest.

Seeing him from across the room today is no different from the countless other times when she was in his presence. He still has the power to make her weak at the knees. He had his head bowed down towards the table. There was a look of concentration on his face as he talked with someone over the phone and he barely even threw her a glance as he continued on with his tasks like he was alone in the room and as if he was not aware of her presence.

He continued on with his work while signing some papers on his table even if he's still on the call. He was constantly on the move. Typing something right after while juggling another call from his mobile phone and then his landline with barely a minute to rest in between.

However, soon after his work dwindled. And as he leafed through a magazine leisurely and played Guitar Hero on the Wii console that was discreetly hidden beside his table while the hours ticked past and she was still left waiting, Rachel starts to become annoyed.

Having reached the end of her rope, Rachel stood on a spot that was directly in his line of vision and tapped her heels on the floor before crossing her arms over her chest as she threw him a deadly glare.

Noah paused momentarily from his gyrating and posturing like he was Bruce Springsteen but it was only to throw her a dismissive glance before he once again strummed his guitar and raised his arms above his head as if he was a high school kid pretending that he was a rock star.

Against her will, Rachel felt the corners of her lips lifting up in a smile at how terribly cute he looked but then the logical part of her brain won out so she just bit her lips to stop the smile from showing on her face.

Another hour went past and no amount of childish antics can make him look cute to her anymore.

Blowing her bangs exasperatedly out of her face, Rachel coughed very, very loudly to get his attention but she could have puked her guts out and he still would not have given her a second glance. In the next fifteen minutes, she slammed on the door, yawned loudly, pretended to have accidentally pushed off the books on his coffeetable to make it land on the floor with a bang but still Noah was unperturbed.

Accepting the fact that it was useless, she sulkily slumped on the couch to wait some more and bide her time. Hell would freeze over before she leaves. If he thinks that he can make her go away just by doing this, well then, she can outwait him no matter how long it takes.

After four long hours of torturous waiting, he seemed to have run out of things to do and games to play. Switching off his giant TV nonchalantly, he finallly walked towards her coolly and Rachel watched him intensely.

Time has not changed his handsome good looks. In fact, he looked even better than he did before. His suit was perfectly tailored and fitted to hug his toned and muscular body to show it off to its best advantage. Against her will, Rachel had a sudden flashback of how it felt to be underneath him and to have those muscular arms pin her as he drives himself inside her.

"I've forgotten how stubborn you can be."

His sarcasm was not lost on her and Rachel felt herself redden in embarrassment when she saw his eyebrows raise when he caught her staring at him...

"Yeah… You- you have made me wait… it was a very long wait…"

She said incoherently.

He gave a composed shrug as if he couldn't even care less before taking a seat on the arm of the chair opposite her which made his trousers ride up emphasizing his muscular thighs.

GODDAMMIT.

She had been deprived of a man for too long. Why is she thinking about all of these lustful thoughts when she came here to show him that he can't bully her and push her around like he intends to.

_Focus Rachel. _

_She had to focus._

"You seem very busy…"

She said snidely and Noah almost laughed out loud at her obvious attempt at civility because he only knows too well that she is like a hellcat when angered and judging by the edge in her voice, he knows that she is getting near there.

"Then you should have made an appointment. I'm a very important man, you know."

_Great._

_Just great._

Noah thought to himself.

Why is he baiting her like a kindergartener pulling on the pigtails of his crush just so he could get her attention and so she would play with him?

"What? An appointment?"

She scoffed at him incredulously…

"No?"

He asked sarcastically, cocking his head to one side as if waiting for her answer.

"Then, what are you? Some kind of stalker? Ahhhhh… I almost forgot that you do have the skills for it judging from how you act around your exes."

Rachel took a sharp intake of breath as he reminded her of how they first met and his obvious innuendo that she is now doing the same thing to him.

He was taunting her, baiting her, and she was falling slowly into the trap that he's set.

Against her will, Rachel felt her hands balling into fists as she stood up jerkily.

"It was a mistake coming here. Finn was right- I should have- "

"Finn?"

He said the name like it was a threat as he gave a disbelieving snort after…

"Did you purposefully come here the moment that you got back after six years just to speak of him in front of my face?"

He paused as if for good measure.

"Of the man you run away with?"

He shook his head. An acerbic smile now seemingly pasted on his face as he looked at her with contempt.

"Well, well, well. It seems like not much had changed. Don't you think it's déjà vu that when we first met you can't stop talking about him and it's still the same way today?"

Rachel lifted her chin against him defiantly.

"And why shouldn't I speak of him? Is there anything wrong with that? We've been together all our lives. He's my best friend and he is not like you. He's kind, considerate and gentle and -"

Noah rolled his eyes exasperatedly.

"Yeah… yeah… yeah… the man is a fucking saint while I'm the bastard from hell. You came all the way here just to show him off to me? Honestly, I have too much to do to even listen to this load of bullshit."

He flicked his wrist to look at his watch dismissively in a gesture that seem to show her that she should be thankful for these few minutes that he's giving her because anything else would be a waste of his precious time.

"Why are you using your personal grudge to make life miserable for me?"

She wailed.

"I don't even get what you're so angry about."

Noah whipped his head up to look at her, a pained expression coming into his eyes for a second at how she does not even know what she did wrong before he schooled his features again into a calm, composed smile.

"Have you been watching too many soap operas, Miss Berry? First of all, I didn't even know that you'd be working for me. Is it because of you? Have you grown some sort of princess complex over the years?"

In a move that was unprecedented, he was in front of her in a flash. Rachel instinctively took a step backwards as he was standing so close that she can feel the warmth of his skin against hers. His lips were mere inches away from hers and he swept his gaze haughtily all over her body that she almost felt naked and vulnerable just by the way he looked at her.

"Yes, perhaps you've become prettier over the course of these 6 years. More sophisticated, sexier. But do you think I would be so overcome with desire the moment that i see you that I would put my familys name on the line just for your sake? The business that I worked so hard to build?"

He moved a little further away from her, The anger in his eyes dying to be replaced by a cold, calculating stare as he challenged her once again.

"So who among the two of us is getting personal by coming her and defying all my commands? Would you do that to any other boss if it was not me? This is strictly business for me Miss Berry. What happened between us was in the past. You should have no problems working under me if you have completely forgotten all about me. Unless-perhaps, you're still not over me?"

There was an arrogant yet a slightly hopeful note to his voice when he asked the last question, a pleading look in his eyes that was somewhat lost on Rachel as she thought of a wise comeback to give in order to answer his question.

"And why would I not be able to work with you? Since you said that this will be all about business then let's treat it as that. Let's deal with it in a professional manner."

She said flippantly.

Noah felt somewhat crushed once again with her indirect rejection and he walked over to his desk and pretended that he's shuffling some papers in an effort to convince himself that deep inside his heart, he was not hoping that what she'd tell him was exactly the opposite.

"Great. That's EXACTLY what my decision had been all about. Then I guess I'd see you at the launch party in two days for this movie and in the office for the pre-production work after the weekend."

Rachel almost groaned aloud. She had completely forgotten all about that invitation that was given to her. She was planning on not attending the event at all but now that Noah had mentioned it, she'd look to be too much of a coward if she does not appear in that party especially after everything that had happened today.

"Of course- yeah- I'd be there…"

She replied with excessive excitement. Noah nodded conceitedly as he lifted his head only a fraction of an inch from what he was doing to look at Rachel.

"If there's anything else-"

His voice trailed off suggestively as he cocked his head at the door and Rachel somehow felt disappointed that he really did ask her to come for business and now she was being dismissed because her presence, around him in his office is not welcome anymore.

Rachel tossed her hair. Convincing herself that Noah treating her like a common employee is what she wanted even if there is a part of herself that would have wanted him somehow to give an inkling or a clue if he even missed her.

"Thank you- for your time. _SIR_."

She said formally, exaggerating the last words pointedly at an obvious jab at how much of a prick he's being by bossing her around and by being so heavy handed with her.

And just like that she walked out the door.

The moment she was out of sight, Noah slumped into his seat wearily before taking in deep gulps of breath as he tried to calm down his wildly beating heart.

Heaven give him strength. He doesn't know if he can do this everyday. He's told himself that this is what he needed to do to exorcise her from his life finally but why is it that just the thought of seeing her on a daily basis seem to be enough reason for him to look forward to the days coming ahead with excitement?

Recalling her presence in her room awhile back, Noah leaned back against his chair. She had not lost that fire. That spunk. And he'd get to work with her. Experience her again for himself, see her as much as he wants.

And for the first time in six years, Noah found himself smiling without reason genuinely.

It was truly a sight to see.

Just like a ray of sunshine breaking through the dark clouds which makes one hopeful.

Optimistic.

That maybe, just maybe, Noah has not really changed at all and that in the very recesses of his heart, he is not as cold and stoic as he has made himself up to be and thought to himself that he have become.

* * *

**AUTHORS NOTE:**

_I just want to express my heartfelt thanks to everyone who leave constructive reviews for this story. Your support has been tremendous and your comments really inspire me to do better and to find the time to continue with this even if sometimes it is difficult._

_I have read some reviews though about how angsty this story is. I just want to say that I Iove my FF's that way and don't say that I have not warned you in my authors drabbles when I was beginning this story. :)_

_However, Puckleberry Fluff is also coming in the next chapters so I guess you'd get your fill then. :)_

_In the meantime please be patient and enjoy how the story unfolds and how we'd get there._

_I just want to warn everyone though that if you'd want more of Fix You, trouble really has to be brewing again for me to be able to deliver a truly readworthy FF._

_If you'd prefer Fluff, just let me know so I can wrap this baby up with a neat little bow and deliver the ending ASAP. :)_

_(Don't worry though, no matter what happens I assure you there will be a happy Puckleberry ending. I just can't make this story longer if it's all sweet moments because I am just not wired to write fluff pieces without some substance. I have plenty of fluff in my one shots but my multi chapters always, always have to be epicly deliciously torturous before I let my characters reach that much desired happy ending.)_

_Again, thanks for your continued support of this story and once again, I'd love to hear your thoughts for this chapter… _


	19. Walking in the Rain

**CHAPTER SEVENTEEN**

If one is to make a list of things that Noah Puckerman hates the most, office parties would probably be ranked up high in his list of top 10.

There is nothing about the thought of going to one which interests him.

The inane conversations, the plastered on smiles and calculating glances, the gossip and backstabbing that are masked as polite conversations.

It is a cesspool of predators out for the kill and if not for the sake of propriety, he wouldn't be caught dead in one even if he has to get out of it kicking and screaming.

Sadly, Noah knows that if one is to do business, there are certain duties that he can't blow off no matter how hard he tries.

Tonight is just one of those nights but in a way, it is also an altogether different story.

The party tonight is something that he had looked forward to in days with relish. An event that he had anticipated with the greatest of excitement. An occasion that he can't let pass because as much as he'd love to make himself believe that it is an acknowledgment of his accomplishments as Puckerman Holdings youngest President, if he'd only be true to himself, he will also admit that his excitement is majorly due to the presence of one person.

A person who had made him feel alive again after being absent in his life for the past six years. A woman whose name he can never forget as it is synonymous to his life's only happiness. A person whom he'd love to really hate but who seem to have such a hold on him that he is practically under her spell even after all these time.

Like a high school kid, it had taken him three outfit changes before he decided on the suit that he was wearing tonight. A fact that he logically explained as wanting to look polished and refined in front of his guests but truthfully, he just wanted to see the approving, and if he's lucky, the admiring look in Rachel's eye.

As if that was not enough, he had also gone to the venue extremely early which he has never, ever done for any of his other previous social engagements.

_EVER._

It was a rash action that is now causing him much regret because he is now camped out inside his limousine for the past hour just so he'd not appear over eager to see her even if that was exactly the case.

Flicking a glance at the hotels entrance and then at his watch, Noah shakes his knees nervously in anticipation and a little bit in trepidation as he gauges whether now is a good time to make his entrance.

Seeing that the lobby is now almost full of guests milling around as they take a break from the festivities in the ballroom, he opens the car door with firm resolve and strides inside the hotel door while straightening his bow tie to mask the nervous trembling of his hands.

He stood out among the crowd of people with his commanding presence. His walk filled with a confident swagger that was born out of years of training. Girls practically swooned as he pass by them while men threw him envious glances. He has movie star good looks and yet everyone knows that he has the business acumen of a tycoon who was powerful and moneyed. A potently lethal combination for an ordinary person, but Noah is unaware of all that. Today, his mind is only filled with one purpose as he pulled open the doors of the ballroom.

_To be able to see Rachel and talk to her even if it means that they'd bicker all night just as long as he'd get to be beside her._

The party was already in full swing when he arrived. The whole ballroom filled with people milling about, champagne glasses in hand as they gush upon seeing him as if they are close friends and like he had known them all his life.

He gave a polite smile and nod to people that he passed by but he barely even stopped as he scanned the crowd for Rachel like that was the sole purpose of his appearance there tonight.

He squinted his eyes against the dimness of the room.

For a fleeting moment he wondered if she really is attending or if she's once again taking him for a ride.

Just when he was about to call for a member of his staff to check on her whereabouts, he saw her.

She was seated in a booth that was quite detached and hidden from the main festivities. There was a bored expression on her face as she fiddled with her phone while glancing around the room from time to time as if she was waiting for someone.

Could it be that -that - she was waiting for him?

As if reading his thoughts, she lifted her face up towards him,a warm smile lighting up her face as she raised her hand tentatively in greeting while looking towards the direction where he was standing at.

Noah felt the corner of his lips lift in a mirroring smile against his will. He felt his heart beating quite heavily into his chest as he was filled with a sense of affection at her cordial gesture.

Just when he was about to take a step to move towards her, he saw somebody approach her from the side. A note of confusion marred Noah's perfect features for a moment before he realized that the person she was smiling at and whom she was waiting for was Finn and not him as he initially imagined about.

_DAMMIT._

Is she really intent on hurting him again and again?

Why does she have to bring him to this place when she knows that he would be there?

Ironically, Noah realized that things are not the same as in the past. This time, she is merely here as an employee and not as his lover. No matter how he feels about it, he has no say anymore in matters pertaining to her personal life.

All he can do is to watch from a distance and to torture himself with images of her while she smiled gently at her present lover with so much affection in her eyes

_Finn._

The man whom she chose over him despite how she insisted that it was over when they were building their new life together.

He felt his fists clench as he saw Finn lean over to whisper in her ear. He wanted to hit that flirtatious smile off his face as he saw Rachel throw her head back in laughter.

Moving as if on autopilot, he subtly made his way towards a hidden corner of the ballroom which was just beside them. He knows that in doing so he'd only manage to hurt himself further and yet he was defenseless as his jealousy took over.

Puck crouched down low to eavesdrop and watch them.

He felt his heart twist in agony when he saw Finn help Rachel take off her jacket while giving a low wolf whistle.

Turning his head subtly, he saw Rachel giggle playfully as she swatted coyly at him.

It took awhile before he saw the dress that she was wearing and when he did, he gave a sharp intake of breath as she saw what Rachel had on underneath her coat.

She was wearing a bustier dress which showed off most of her back, her décolletage and her shoulders. Her skirt stopped midthigh which only highlighted her shapely legs all the more.

Immediately, he saw some of the men in the room stop to stare and ogle at her. One of them was particularly almost in front of him and Noah gave a low hiss as he glared at him. Nervously, the man looked at Noah and cleared his throat before averting his gaze. Loosening the collar of his shirt awkwardly, he moved forward quickly in pretense that he didn't see Rachel as he scampered away in fright while Noah continued to stare at him with laserbeams shooting from his eyes.

Sighing in exasperation, Noah took a moment to calm himself so as to resist the urge to act like a caveman and toss Rachel over his shoulder before dragging her out of there.

_Rachel, You - You bewitching witch. _

He thought to himself.

_How dare you dress like that when you are with another man?_

Impetously, he saw the aircon control behind him and got a stroke of genius to adjust the temperature down low. He knows that Rachel can't stand the cold and it is just a matter of minutes before she'd look for something to keep her warm and so he's sure that this plan to get her covered up would just totally work.

He lets off a smug smile as he saw Rachel give a small shiver just minutes after he went through with his plan. He almost snickered childishly as he watched her rub her arms up and down with her hands in an effort to generate heat and keep herself warm.

"Are you cold?"

He heard Finn ask, concern evident in his voice.

Noah lets off an arrogant smirk at his petty victory while picturing Rachel asking for her jacket back from him so that she can put it back on.

However, the next scene made his jaw drop as he almost smashed his head into the wall as he saw his plan backfire.

Instead of giving her her jacket as he'd imagined and Rachel asking for it, Finn followed through on his question by covering both of Rachel's hands with his.

Finn barely even gave her the chance to answer as he rubbed her hands gently in between his while blowing air into them from time to time to give her added warmth.

_FUCK!_

Meddlesome, Bumbling, Lumbering, Giant, Idiot.

Noah saw Rachel stare at Finn gratefully. She looked quite touched as she stared at his bowed head while Noah remained hidden, seething in misery.

Thankfully, the cozy scene was broken by the arrival of the waiter. The two breaking apart slowly as the waiter put an assortment of desserts in front of them while Rachel clapped her hands in delight like a little girl in excitement.

Once their waiter was gone, she cut into a cake with her fork and then stared at Finn with her eyes wide, looking as if she is about to cry.

"OH. MY. GOD. This is soooooo delicious!"

Finn looked at her with a twinkle in his eye. His expression was doting as he watched her revert back to the carefree Rachel that he knew of old which now, he only get glimpses of.

"Sooo gooddddd…"

She nodded vigorously.

Her voice coming out almost childlike as she cut into the cake again and fed Finn with the fork that she just used.

It was a small detail that didn't escape Noah's discerning eye. Muttering an expletive under his breath, he airkicked the table in front of him several times like an idiot because he can not kick it for real as it might make noise and blow away his cover.

Tonight must not really be his night.

He'd much rather be smashing Finn's face than the table if he'd only be given the chance.

Chewing on the cake thoughtfully for awhile, Finn had a half smile on his face as he gazed into Rachel's eyes.

"It is delicious."

He said under his breath.

Rachel puts down her fork as Finn kept on staring at her. She brushed her cheek self consciously thinking that she might have icing on her face before lifting her eyes to meet his and asking him uneasily.

"What?"

Finn shook his head as if he had just remembered something.

"I just remembered that time when we were in London. I'm just glad that we're past that stage where we need to hide."

Noah's face immediately closed up. Thinking to himself how they must have felt truly guilty to have ran away together to a place that is that far away, leaving everything behind.

Rachel lets out a sigh before speaking, a melancholic note coming into her voice as she and Finn shared a tender moment.

"There was a time when I thought we'd never have this chance again."

Finn looked at her quizzically and she gave him a little smile before speaking again.

"You. Me. Sitting here together like this?"

She shrugged as if blowing off those bad memories.

"You've hurt me a lot in the past. We talked about it and it's over and done with but i have never told you that during the time I needed you most you gave me the confidence that I lacked."

She sighed. A far away look in her eyes as she remembered the hardships that both of them went through.

"You motivated me, and then none of the hurt and pain that you've given me even seemed to matter. You taught me that I can never just settle. Everything that Sophie and I have right now is because of you. Thank you."

She finished with sincerity.

_Everything that she has was because of Finn? _

Noah almost shouted aloud.

Then what about him?

What about how he's made her happy and picked her spirit up during that time when Finn was being a total douchebag and they were the ones together in that brief period in their lives?

Noah leaned his head back against the booth weakly. He felt the blood drain from his face as each word that she spoke pierce him like they were daggers to his heart.

What the hell is he doing? He almost forgot that Finn and her now have a child together.

No matter what he does, it is already too late.

He wonders if they're married.

There was no news about it but maybe they did get married secretly while they were away.

Noah felt his heart twist at the thought.

What would he do if they indeed are? Can he just let her go?

He gave a sarcastic snort of laughter as the answer came to him.

He is a jerk.

A grade A one.

Because even if she is, he doesn't know if he had the moral decency to keep far away from her because he's too far gone.

Expelling a huge sigh of breath. he stood up deciding that he's heard enough.

Perhaps today is not meant to be. It must have been a mistake for him to even expect anything coming here because he's only managed to reopen old wounds and hurt himself again.

With great difficulty, Noah decides to relegate his issues to the backburner as he pulled himself off from the couch to stride off to mingle with his other guests.

Unaware of Noah's presence beside them awhile back, Finn once again whispered something in Rachel's ear. Rachel nods in understanding and accidentally, her gaze moved towards the center of the ballroom where Noah now stood and instantly she felt herself tensing up.

He had a charming smile on his face. His attention on the elderly matron in front of him which even from this distance Rachel can tell was fawning all over him.

Feeling her gaze on him, he lifted his head up and their eyes met.

His smile was still in place as he appeared to be listening to what the group around him was saying but his eyes were solely focused on Rachel.

The air crackled with the repressed sexual energy that flows between them as they stare at each other from opposite ends of that vast ballroom.

It was an encounter that could have only lasted a split second and yet Rachel felt herself getting woozy in the head like her body was suddenly deprived of air.

A moment that was mostly fleeting but one that was not lost on Finn as he stared unnoticed from one of them to the other and suddenly he felt his jaw hardening, his smile dimming.

And just like that it was over.

Noah averted his gaze as he laughed at a joke that was shared by one of the guests while Rachel does the same as she fanned her flushed face.

"I- I - need to go to the restroom"

Finn said as he stood up quickly.

He wanted to be anywhere else at that moment but there that he almost bumped onto the glasses on top of their table in his haste to get away.

Rachel looked up at him in surprise. She is completely in the dark about his sudden need to get up but she only nodded as if in a daze.

Feeling the need to refresh herself once Finn was gone, Rachel walked towards the bar. Noah followed her with his gaze pensively as she leaned on the bar counter and talked to the bartender before he excused himself from the circle of people that he's talking with to make his way towards her.

Walking casually in an effort to make it appear that he was just passing by accidentally, Noah stood about 2 feet from where Rachel was. The moment that she noticed his presence, he widened his eyes in mock surprise as if he doesn't even know she's there and making it appear like he's seeing her for the first time.

"Oh- You came?"

He flicked her a casual glance as he took a shot from the whisky glass in front of him.

He could have just drank water because fat lot of good it did him since the alcoholic beverage did nothing to stop the somersaults that his heart is doing now that he's just within touching distance from her.

Rachel looked at him in surprise with a confused expression on her face.

"I thought you told me specifically to come? Shouldn't I be here?"

Noah almost smiled at the sarcasm in her voice. It was as if she finds him crazy with his ever shifting requests.

"Did i? I can't even remember."

He shrugged nonchalantly. He hoped that made it appear as if her presence or none of it for tonight would not make any difference to him any which way.

Rachel's face darkened as Noah found immature, childish pleasure in ticking her off and pressing all her buttons the wrong way.

Just when Rachel was about to go into a long diatribe about him growing up, a woman sidles up next to Noah and stands really close to him.

Rolling her eyes in disgust, Rachel watched the vixen as she trailed her fingers over his chest seductively while talking to him in an annoyingly cloying voice which Rachel was presuming was part of her effort to seduce him.

She glanced first at Noah and then the girl and she felt her mouth opening and closing like she's a fish caught on land at the sheer audacity of this girl.

"Hey there, stud. You told me you'd call back but you never did."

Noah looked at the woman with mildly contained distaste which he masked with a cordial smile of bemusement.

Ignorant and insensitive to Noah's current state of mind, the woman continued to flirt heavily. Rachel turned her head and made a face as if she was about to vomit as she mimic the girls speaking manner exaggeratedly secretly with her mouth.

"You said we'd have a drink one of these days. I'm still waiting you know."

The girl continued on. She gave a pout which Rachel presumed is a patented move that she had mastered to bring a man to his knees with her cuteness, however, to her it only serves to highlight the fact that her nose is fake as everything else in her face was scrunched up except that since it seems to be heavily molded in place.

She almost laughed out loud at the thought.

To her surprise, Noah whispered in the girls ear in a voice that was loud enough for her to overhear.

"Why don't you wait for me and we'll get out of here?"

"SERIOUSLY? REALLY?"

The girl looked at Noah looking as if she had just hit the jackpot. She was almost bouncing and hopping like a bunny on sugar rush as she ran to get her purse in excitement while Noah remained pokerfaced.

Against her will, Rachel felt her temper rise, her cheeks flushing and eyes blazing as she confronted Noah…

"I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU! Don't tell me you'd really be going out with that girl?"

He looked at her with a raised eyebrow. His shot glass halfway to his lips as he gave her a devilish smile which managed to make him look even hotter than he already was.

"WHY? Jealous much?"

He said sarcastically.

Rachel was lost for words for a moment at his surprise directness. Her cheeks flushing beet red as she stammered an excuse that she hope made some sense.

"I - I - was just-HEY! Think about Quinn. Does she know?"

He looked at her with a bored expression.

"Is she here? Do you see her anywhere?"

Noah turned his head exaggeratedly as if looking for Quinn. And with that one move he succeeded in one instant to make her feel like she's naively innocent and dumb, all at the same time.

She narrowed her eyes at him.

"Damn You Noah. You haven't changed. You're still the same womanizing asshole that you were before. "

Noah turned to stare at her.

So… she also thinks of him that way.

Noah thought.

The same way the newspapers describe him and how everyone else thinks of him…

Somehow it hurts.

Out of all the people in the world, he was hoping she'd be the best person to know the real him.

To believe in him.

Once again, he was disappointed at how he imagined wrong.

He averted her gaze from her, giving a casual shrug as he answered her nonchalantly.

"Well, that's me. I pity the woman who thinks she can ever change me. Besides, where do you get off lecturing me about my personal life? Don't you think your overstepping your territory as someone who works for me?"

Rachel almost doubled over in pain at that statement.

He gave her a cutting stare, downed the whisky in one gulp and walked away leaving her standing there in a daze without a second glance.

He met the girl whose name he couldn't even remember in the middle of the ballroom and put his arms around her shoulder. He looked down at her upturned face seductively as she stared up at him adoringly with a smug look of triumph on her face as they made their way out of there, and as Rachel looked on, Noah is sure that she will never know of the moment when he ditched the bimbo as soon as they reached the hotels front door much to the girls dismay.

He's sure she'll never know how he waited in the car for her to go home so he can follow her home.

He's certain that she wouldn't learn of how he reveled in the fact that Finn just dropped her off her front door without spending the night.

She'd never understand how much he's looking forward to seeing her at work everyday or of how her presence had somehow given him renewed life.

However, through all these, there's one thing that Noah was really, really sure about.

No matter what, in whatever circumstances, he'd never ever let her know how much he hates himself for still having these feelings for her even after all these time.

* * *

In the two weeks that Rachel had been reporting at the offices of Puckerman Entertainment, not once had she ever encountered Noah.

Truthfully, she was quite tensed on her first few days on the job thinking that he's out to make her life a living hell, but slowly, she felt herself relax as days go by without her encountering him.

In time she had even made herself believe that probably, he does not even care that she is there.

It was a fact that she seemed to have welcomed with great relief, but truth be told, it also gave her some feelings of disappointment as she came to realize that maybe, Noah really does not want anything to do with her anymore after all.

However, it being the first time that she was working out of the theater and getting involved in the films production behind the scenes, Rachel is surprised to note how much she enjoys working off stage and behind the cameras.

It opened new doors for her to meet new people and learn new things and with a rueful admission, Rachel can already tell that she'd miss this environment once they'd be ready to shoot and once again, she'd just be an actress instead of a person who calls the shots.

Tapping her pencil nervously against the blank paper that is now in front of her, Rachel gave a small smile as her gaze fell on the wrapped birthday cake now sitting on the desk in front of her.

She had been clocking in long hours at work lately and Sophie had been quite surly about it.

Nevertheless, today that it's her daughters 6th birthday, Rachel promised herself that she'd make it up to her by knocking off work early and then she'd take her out to dinner and afterwards, they can go shopping.

Rachel smiled as she remembered Sophie's great, delicious hug when she discussed with her their plans when she woke up this morning. Watching the clock obsessively, Rachel willed her writers block to go away so that she can finish what she had to finish and then she can pack her things so that she can get out of there and spend some long overdue time with her daughter.

Rachel's reverie was cut short by the arrival of her intern. There was a nervous look on the young girls face as she gave Rachel back her screenplay wordlessly with trembling hands.

"Didn't I tell you to give this to Noah as he wanted to see the changes I've made in Scene 75?"

Rachel looked up at her in confusion. A puzzled frown now marring her perfectly shaped eyebrows as she waited impatiently for the interns reply.

"Noah … Mr. Puckerman said that you are the one responsible for the script so he wanted to discuss it only with you."

The intern averted her gaze from hers. The girl still feeling severely incompetent and chastised as just a few minutes ago, Noah had shown her a terrible fit of temper.

Rachel rolled her eyes in exasperation.

_There you have it._

She thought to herself.

She was waiting for this showdown to come for weeks and it's finally here.

"Okay. I'd get on it. Thanks a lot."

Rachel waved off the intern dismissively as she felt her thoughts drifting already on the upcoming confrontation with Noah and she muttered under her breath.

"HA! And you said this will be all professional? Look who's being childish."

With one last breath of annoyance, she grabs the envelope in front of her and marches towards Noah's office.

Disregarding the presence of Noah's secretary, Rachel opens the door to his private enclave with unnecessary force.

Noah barely looked up from his work and he only gave her a glance as if her marching in on him with raised eyebrows is commonplace in any ordinary workday and like it was not a cause for concern to him at all.

"Are you purposefully making my interns life a living hell just so I would come and see you?"

She said with gritted teeth.

Noah lifted his gaze up at her slowly, a smug expression on his face while Rachel stood before him tense, chest heaving in irritation.

"I am the movies producer. You are the screenplay writer, actress and consultant working under me. Is there anything wrong with me wanting to speak directly with you?"

He asked her smugly as he leaned forward in his seat.

"Or perhaps there is something about that the thought of meeting me that is making you this tensed and worked up… hmmm?"

Rachel averted her gaze guiltily.

"Where's your professionalism now, Berry?"

Noah mocked her in an obvious attempt to throw the words that she had for him when she first marched in here like a hellcat when he initially made her report for work.

As if nothing had happened, Noah leaned back in his seat once again to continue typing on his laptop.

"It's a good thing that you also came up. I was just about to ask my secretary to call you. have your intern bring the necessary materials up and let's work from my office. The changes you've made will have a huge impact on production costs. Submit some more ideas to me by tonight since we need to start casting for the other roles by tomorrow."

He finished off commandingly as he took on the role of boss who's putting a subordinate in place.

Rachel's eyes widen as she almost stomped her feet in frustration.

"B-b-but… B-but I can't work tonight! It's my daughter's birthday and I promised her that we'd spend tonight together and-"

Noah looked at her sharply.

His bitterness once again rising to the fore as she spoke of her daughter.

"Ever heard of the saying the show must go on? You are in the entertainment business. I had people working even through their parents death or on their childrens sickbed. I am not asking you to stay out of a whim but because we are under a deadline and I need a solid storyline before I agree to anything."

He smiled at her sarcastically.

"Or perhaps, I can't ask that from you too?"

Rachel was at a loss for words at his obvious jab about how she seemingly lets personal matters overtake her need for being professional.

With barely contained anger, she glared at him and turned on her heel to do as she's told.

Once her anger lost steam and after feeling foolish for throwing her things unnecessarily while Noah remained unaffected, they began to work in silence together.

Seated across from her on his table, Noah barely made any sign that he's aware of her presence while Rachel threw him dagger looks from time to time as she worked off the remnants of her annoyance silently.

Begrudgingly, she admitted to herself how hardworking he is. If he is not on a phone call, he's on his laptop furiously typing or reading reports or calculating something.

For other people of his stature, work that he's doing could have been already delegated to someone.

But not him.

Against her will, Rachel can't help but admire this facet to Noah that she had never even known before to have ever existed.

As the hours wore on, the sky becomes darker. The building slowly emptied itself out of its workers until it seems like they were the only two people left inside its premises.

Hearing her stomach grumbling, Rachel scrounged around her bag for something to eat but found nothing.

Silently, she stood up to take a break. She walked her hunger and exhaustion off for a couple of minutes while Noah still sat in front of his computer engrossed, seemingly immune to her presence.

Rachel was only gone for fifteen minutes but when she came back she was pleasantly surprised to find a sandwich on her desk.

She lifted her gaze towards Noah. He was still watching his laptop screen while eating a sandwich and before she knew it, she felt a smile make its way across her face, extremely touched at how despite the way she believed that he had turned cold and bossy, there was still a part of the Noah of old that remained in him.

She was still upset with him though for not letting her leave work early despite her pleas but she felt herself softening a little at his very thoughtful gesture.

"Thanks."

She said quietly.

Noah didn't answer. His gaze remaining riveted in front of him as if he didn't hear her but he threw a look at her when she wasn't looking and as she bit into the meal that he had bought her, there was a smile on his face that soothed his hard features as he watched her without her knowledge.

As the night grew deeper, Rachel knew that she had to call Sophie again. She already called her earlier that afternoon to beg off from her promise and as expected, she threw a fit. However, her promise of a day spent with her outside this weekend to make up for this time seemed to have pacified her and though Rachel still feels awfully guilty, she knows that she has to check on her and see if she's listening to her nanny well and not throwing tantrums as she imagined she would be after disappointing her.

Hearing Sophie's voice on the other end of the line, Rachel talked gently. There was a smile on her face as she seem to relax and forget about everything that's going on with her the moment that she heard her daughters voice.

"Hey baby. Did you have dinner yet hmmm? I miss you. Mommy will be home soon okay? Wait for me."

Unbeknownst to her, Noah was watching her silently.

She looked so at peace.

As if she had everything that she wanted in the world.

He watched as her face brightened up considerably as she laughed at something that her daughter presumably said on the other end of the phone.

He wonders if he could be that happy.

If they ended up together, he probably would be.

With their daughter keeping them company and Rachel by his side, he could lose everything and still be content.

To his amazement, the daughter that he pictured in his head to be theirs was still Sophie.

Cutting himself off his reverie, he watched Rachel put down the phone while being terribly assuaged by guilt. He shouldn't have let his temper and jealousy get the best of him and he should have been understanding enough to her plight as he saw the look of sadness cross over her face at being not able to keep her promise to her child.

_He should have known better._

He knows how much broken promises hurt being the recipient of almost every one them.

Thinking to himself how he had been such an ass and wanting to make it up to her, Noah cleared his throat as Rachel looked at him curiously.

"Why – Why don't you call it a night and let's just see the draft tomorrow? We could probably just send it to the director and the other producers in the afternoon. I think the initial drafts you made for today are enough."

Rachel looked up at him in surprise, a wide, bright smile making its way unto her face at this unexpected gesture coming from him.

"You sure? I can?"

She looked like a little girl who just got a shiny, new bike for Christmas and Noah gave a chuckle.

The atmosphere between them instantly lightened at this shared moment together.

Noah nodded and Rachel started to arrange her things, her movements quick and steady as if she can't wait to get out of there.

"Tell your husband- ummm… Finn that i'm sorry for keeping you this late."

Rachel's hands stilled. She deliberated whether or not to tell him the truth and if she should answer that statement and in the end she let her conscience reply for her.

"He's not my- not my husband. We're not married."

She said softly as she fixed her eyes on the materials that she is cleaning up rather than on Noah.

"You're not- Why- Why not?"

He gazed at her, sounding confused at first and then hopeful.

"There was just never any need to get married…"

She shrugged noncommitaly as she dashed Noah's hopes, for what, he doesn't know.

Silently, he thought to himself how much she's really changed to even consider having a child with Finn without getting married.

She must have love Finn that much.

Unwittingly, Noah suddenly thought of the life that Rachel and him could have had together.

The life that she's now living with Finn and he wonders if things could have been any different if it were him instead of Finn.

"Do you hate me that much? That you left without saying goodbye?"

He knew he sounded pathetic asking her that out of the blue but he just had to ask her.

For his peace of mind, he had to ask her.

Rachel paused for a moment.

Remembering the times when she went through so much hardship with her pregnancy with Sophie while news of him gallivanting around with Quinn and other women were all the tabloids. She had never hated him even then. Not even one second, not even a bit, but for the sake of her pride she had to lie.

That's all that she had left and if she tells him the truth, she would look like a pathetic, naive fool for expecting something from him that wasn't even there.

"I think you already know the answer."

And for a moment their eyes met before Rachel averted hers .

"I-I'm going."

And just like that she was gone.

Leaving Noah by himself as he pondered on what he did so wrong that she hated him that much and somehow they ended up here.

An hour after, he was still lost for answers.

Deciding to rest his tired mind and body, Noah left for home.

As he drove by the buildings entrance, his eyes widened in surprise to see Rachel still standing outside her car and upon closer look he saw that she had a flat tire.

Deliberating on whether or not to stop and assist her, Noah was just about to park when he remembered her words before she left and he decided that just being around each other will only give both of them more heartache.

Pretending to not just have seen anything, Noah reversed the car and continued on home.

He had only been driving for about 5 minutes when the image of Rachel standing on the side of the road played itself over and over in his head.

"Fuck this..."

He muttered under his breath before swerving on a wide u-turn so that he can return back to the office to do what he was stopping himself from doing and which he should have done before.

However, when he reached there he saw Finn already assisting Rachel.

And as he watched them from a distance, he realized that once again he was too late.

Just like it's always been, he's there ahead of him.

Just like it was in the beginning when she asked him for his help to be her pretend boyfriend and afterwards when she left him, Finn was always first.

He's just too late.

Too late.

* * *

Clutching her revised script and her suggestion for song ideas, Rachel braced herself at the thought of meeting Noah once again.

Quieting her fears, Rachel knocked on his office door and prepared herself for an awkward confrontation as Noah and him meet for the first time again after the words that they exchanged last night which even now seem to still ring in her head.

Thankfully, Noah was on the phone and already quite distracted. He gestured for her to come in with his fingers, making Rachel breathe a sigh of relief as she sat in his waiting area, watching him.

As the minutes tick by, Rachel promised herself that whatever happens, she would treat Noah no differently than any of her other producers and maybe in doing so, she can train herself to get used to being in his presence sooner or later and that she can also stop her heart from beating wildly everytime she's anywhere near him.

Hanging up on his phonecall, Rachel was already midway up from the sofa to meet Noah when she saw him grabbing his coat and making a beeline towards where she's seated.

He stopped just a few meters away from her. There was a distracted look on his face as he checked on his watch before looking at her again.

"Let's go to lunch."

He said casually.

Rachel shot a surprised look at him. Once again, her heart slammed against her chest at the possibility of being alone with him.

"L-l-lunch? Can't we just talk about this here? I- I-"

Noah sighed. He closed his eyes and massaged the bridge of his nose as he did so.

"Rachel - I have no other plans other than to see your drafts. I have work problems coming out of my ears and I am just extremely hungry that I can't think about anything else but to eat that's why I invited you to lunch. "

Rachel looked at him with an embarrassed expression. Noah was now staring at her pleadingly.

"Now if it's alright with you, can we just go to a restaurant and work without me having to face any of your dramatics right now? Please?"

Rachel schooled her features as she felt her temper rose just a few notches higher.

Tossing her head at him and straightening herself to her full, petite height, she nodded imperceptibly at him. She made him lead the way as they walk towards his car which his driver has left considerately already parked and idling at the office driveway.

The ride going to the restaurant was quiet. Both of them lost in their own thoughts as Noah maneuvered the car deftly through New York's lunch traffic.

The parking was packed at the restaurant that Noah picked when they arrived. Left with no other choice, Noah parked a few blocks away from the restaurant that he had in mind and it came as a surprise to Rachel that it was a familiar one which they frequently went to before everything went to hell and when they were still happy and very much together.

Once they were inside the restaurant, she took a seat beside Noah as he perused the menu nonchalantly. He was seemingly unaware of her plight as she was assailed by memories of a happier time during the last time that they were here.

Clearing her throat to dispel things that she wanted to forget, Rachel puts on a professional face while immediately bringing her script out. Meanwhile, Noah seemed to have relaxed considerably. He took his time in reading the menu as if it was a storybook rather than just a list of food with prices.

"Hmmm… now what shall I have?"

He murmured under his breath.

"I'll have the seafood vongole."

He told the waitress with a smile as if Rachel and him were on a casual day out. He looked at her inquiringly. Rachel averted her gaze as he stared at her.

"You're not ordering? Don't you miss the Tagliatelle here?"

Rachel whipped her head to look at him.

How could he still remember?

Returning the menu to the waitress and shrugging as if it was Rachel's loss, Noah started talking to her the moment the waitress was out of sight.

"Cmon. can't we even be friends? You can't even eat with me?"

He said cutely and it took all of Rachel's willpower to look at Noah with a sarcastic expression on her face.

"Noah, I thought we would treat this partnership as professionals? I don't make it a habit to eat with my producers and I am not here to accompany you to lunch."

Instead of getting angry as she expected, Noah smiled. He then fished out of his ringing cellphone in his pocket, not giving Rachel the chance to say another word as she looked at him as if he's gone crazy.

"Sorry."

He was on the phone for a few minutes, talking business as Rachel sat there beside him fuming silently.

His order arrived and finally the call ended. Rachel immediately launched into a prepared speech as she ticked off the merits of shooting in an off location venue versus a local studio than which was what Noah was suggesting and originally planning.

"The song for this scene should be moving. I have reviewed the demos that the musical directors have prepared and I have made sure to cover all the range of -"

He barely even glanced at the paperwork in front of him. Instead, a pensive expression was now pasted on his face.

"Is this all you have? You should have just remained an actress then. I don't know what Lotus was thinking when they bought your story. "

She pasted on a forced smile on her face.

"And what do you mean by that?"

He shrugged as he took a bite of his pasta.

"To others, it might be exquisite. Emotional. But to me, it is as if you're keeping something to yourself rather than putting all that raw emotion on screen for all to see."

Rachel felt her temper rising. She stuffed her script back into the envelope as she prepared to leave midway through the meal.

"Then maybe I should just be an actress rather than venturing out into scriptwriting… Maybe you should just find someone else."

Rachel was already half standing when Noah called her name softly.

"Rachel."

She turned to look at him…

"How could you give up? Have you come this far these past six years to only be like the rest? Don't you want to be something more? Is this all you've got? I'm asking you because I know what you're capable of… You can do more than this… You can be the best… and if you'd allow me to… I'd like Puckerman entertainment to be the one to showcase that side of you that people have never even seen before."

Breathing deeply and feeling just a tiny bit embarrassed at her sudden outburst, Rachel sat back down.

If there's one thing that Noah knows she can't back down from, he knows it's a challenge…

Putting in much effort to control her temper, she opened her script envelope once again to bring her screenplay out.

"I'm not doing this to prove myself. But since you are the expert, tell me what you want and I'd try to improve it."

Noah relaxed considerably once the tension is broken. He took another bite of his pasta before twirling the noodles once again around his fork leisurely and then putting it in his mouth.

"I can probably cut out this scene and add a mother-daughter conversation to this? What do you think?"

Rachel went on professionally.

"Ummm… this is delicious…"

Noah muttered as he pointed to the pasta, disregarding Rachel's pitch altogether as his concern seemed to be on the dish before him.

"I can also improve on the song selection for when she leaves Indiana and-"

"You should really try the Tagliatelle. The taste has definitely improved these past few years."

Rachel flicked a non-existent strand of hair away from her face in an effort to try her best to remain as detached from Noah as possible while he draws her in into a personal conversation.

"Overall I think we should think of a theme and - What - what are you doing?"

Rachel protested as Noah grabbed the script and put it in the empty seat beside him.

"Let's talk after lunch. I might get indigestion just from this conversation."

He said in a voice filled with humor.

As if by magic, a waiter appears before him.

"One order of Tagliatelle for the miss."

He turned to look at her.

"I feel as if you'd miss out if you don't try this."

He then gave her a wink. Rachel almost smiled at him. He can really be quite charming once he puts his mind to it.

They finished their lunch in silence and it stretched on as they walked to the place where they have left his car.

During that space of time, Rachel once again thought of the events for today and she felt frustrated over how they seemed to have accomplished nothing but only that of having a good meal inside their stomach.

"Noah…"

She ran after Noah. He was walking ahead of her. Strolling along leisurely on the sidewalk as if they are in Central Park rather than on the streets of 5th.

"We have not really talked about anything while we were at lunch. Perhaps you should take a look now and see where -"

"There's no rush."

He said happily as he walked ahead of her once more, hands in his pocket as he took another step while whistling a happy tune…

**_(Recommended Listening: Walking in the Rain –A1__)_**

"NOAH PUCKERMAN!"

She shouted at him making him stop in his tracks.

"What exactly are you doing? Are you taking me for a ride?"

**_(__Sitting by the window singing songs of love__  
__Wishing you were here because the memory's not enough__  
__Wear my mask in silence pretending I'm alright__  
__If you could see then you would be here standing by my side)_**_  
_

Just as he was about to reply, they were distracted by a commotion going on from across the street. They turn their heads in unison towards that direction and they both looked with mouths agape as they watched his car being towed and loaded unto a truck.

Frantically, Noah moved to cross the busy street. He barely even noticed the speeding car up ahead as he shouted in protest at the tow truck driver that it almost sideswiped him.

Rachel gasped as she grabbed his elbow to bring him out of harms way.

**_(__It may be hard to believe__  
__But girl you're the only one I need__  
__It may be hard along the way__  
__It's this feeling that I get when blue skies turn to gray)_**_  
_

The force from which she pulled him swinging him around so that her face was in his chest and they were only within inches of each other.

Instinctively, Noah held her waist tight for support in a warm embrace.

At that moment, time seemed to have stopped. Noah had his face bowed down to hers and Rachel slowly turned hers towards him.

Their eyes were locked onto each other.

Their hearts beating as one as they reveled in that moment.

For that split second, Rachel's face showed her vulnerability, her mask dropping for a moment to reveal her true feelings for him.

**_(__Feels like I'm walking in the rain__  
__I find myself trying to wash away the pain__  
__'Cause I need you to give me some shelter__  
__'Cause I'm fading away and baby, I'm walking in the rain)_**_  
_

Noah looked at her breathlessly, a knowing smile coming unto his face as he looked at her as if he just realized something.

"You still care for me."

He said disbelievingly.

"No matter what you say, you still do."

He whispered and the look in his eyes almost brought her to her knees.

Rachel breaks the spell. She pushed him far away from her as she once again reverted back to being her usual self.

**_(__Every single hour of every single day__  
__I need to cry, my eyes are dry, I've cried my tears away__  
__Can't help but remember how you made me feel__  
__You dressed my soul and made me whole, you made my life complete)_**_  
_

"W-W-What are you talking about? You almost got killed and I would have done the same for anyone… D-don't let your imagination run wild…"

Noah looked at her confidently as he stood from a distance, the smile that he had on from awhile back still plastered on his face and growing wider by the minute.

**_(__It may be hard to believe__  
__But girl you're the only one I need__  
__It may be hard along the way__  
__It's this feeling I get when blue skies turn to gray)_**_  
_

Rachel averted her gaze. Her concern over the situation put on the sideline as thunder roared and rumbled from a distance.

Looking at the suddenly darkened sky, she brought her hands up and lifted her eyes while the first drops of rain started falling.

"DAMMIT! Look now! What do we do? You shouldn't have had your car parked there and now… SHIT! There are no cabs here!"

She shouted at him exasperatedly.

Looking around as if searching for an answer, Noah brightened considerably as he looked at a departing bus.

He looked at Rachel mischievously. His eyebrows wriggling up and down as Rachel fought with the desire to just kiss him senseless while they're standing soaked in the middle of that busy street.

"What?"

She asked in a strangled whisper.

"Let's make a run for it"

**_(__Feels like I'm walking in the rain__  
__I find myself trying to wash away the pain__  
__'Cause I need you to give me some shelter__  
__'Cause I'm fading away and baby, I'm walking in the rain)_**

Noah shouted over the roar of thunder and with a wide smile as if he had just solved all their problems and before Rachel knew what was happening, he had already grabbed her hand and clasped it tightly in his as they ran hand in hand in the rain to chase after the bus that is now slowly pulling away.

They were breathless.

Giggling like school kids.

People looking at them like they're crazy as the rain plastered their clothes to their bodies and their hair to their scalp but they don't even care.

There was only _HERE._

This moment.

Their hands connected together tightly as they ran quite a distance in the empty rain filled streets,

**_(__Of all we've said and done_**

**_Remains the memories of days when life was fun__  
__But now when you are gone__  
__I sit alone to watch the setting of the sun)_**_  
_

Against her will, Rachel felt herself laughing. There was a feeling of lightness coming over her heart that she had not felt for a long time.

One that makes her truly happy.

As if everything in the world was right.

As if she belonged here.

And as Noah turned back to look at her, he was thinking the same thing…

**_(__Feels like I'm walking in the rain__  
__I find myself trying to wash away the pain__  
__'Cause I need you to give me some shelter__  
__'Cause I'm fading away and baby, I'm walking in the rain)_**

It's as if the past six years had never happened.

Like it never existed.

And as they look at each other with bright, happy faces, both of them soaking wet as they entered the bus that had just stopped, they wished that this moment can last forever.

That this bus can somehow give them a ticket to relieve the sadness that they feel from being apart as it takes them to another place and another lifetime where they have the power to make everything okay and to put the things that they've done wrong to right.

**_(I said baby, I'm walking in the rain)_**

* * *

**AUTHORS NOTE:**

_Once again, I'd like to express my heartfelt thanks to everyone who expressed their love and support for this fanfiction._

_Writing a story really takes time and effort but your words continue to cheer me on and motivate me to keep on going. I can not tell you how much your encouraging words make my day. :)_

_On another note, I thought long and hard before I decided to write this as part of my note for todays chapter but i hope all of you lovely people can excuse me for this terrible rant since I only mean this for those people who continue to nitpick on my grammatical errors and my use of ellipses, so you can skip this part if you are not one of them._

_(And to those who this is meant for, you know who you are)_

_*takes a deep breath*_

_First of all, I am a sport when it comes to criticism but being unobjective and harping on my mistakes chapter after chapter and constructing your review like a complete know it all is frankly just getting on my nerves._

_(Add to that the fact that you leave those comments without me having a way to reply back to you in private is just cowardly.)_

_Not that you need to know but obviously, English is not my first language so It is a given that there might have been times when I might have mixed up my tenses in some parts of the story so there is no need to point it out repeatedly._

_I also know that I use ellipses quite heavily and I do know that I substitute it for commas and periods but this is my writing and I can write it any way that I want to so there is no need for you to educate me on the use of those punctuation marks because I very well know how to use them THANK YOU VERY MUCH, even if I choose not to. (use them, I mean)._

_Lastly, I want you to know that I only write for my own sheer pleasure and enjoyment in the hopes that I can also share the same feeling to other readers and to other fellow FF writers. I just want to bring happiness to other people and I have no intention of passing this piece of work on for a PULITZER or for it to even be published commercially, so please just let it rest and quit nitpicking._

_If you are a frustrated grammar school teacher or editor in chief, please apply for a job to some big shot newspaper or magazine or to a language school instead of wasting your time and energy on my FF which I am only writing as a past time because you said yourself that you find the writing horrible and confusing._

_For your own peace of mind, I hope that you'd just quit reading._

_Problem solved. Simple as that._

_*rant over*_

_Now back to you my valued readers who appreciate this story, I am really and deeply sorry for being crass and tasteless so as to publish this message publicly but I just have no way of conveying it privately and I just felt that this needs to be said._

_I hope that you'd continue to support Fix You and that you would continue posting your positive and sometimes critical but objective messages because I really appreciate it and REALLY, it is people like you who make the hard work I put into writing this story more than worth it. :)_


	20. Many of Horror

**MANY OF HORROR – BIFFY CLYRO**

_You say "I love you, boy"  
I know you lie  
I trust you all the same  
I don't know why_

_'Cos when my back is turned_  
_My bruises shine_  
_Our broken fairytale_  
_So hard to hide_

_I still believe_  
_It's you and me to the end of time_

_When we collide we come together_  
_If we don't we'll always be apart_  
_I'll take a bruise, I know you're worth it_  
_When you hit me, hit me hard_

_Sitting in a wishing hall_  
_Hoping it stays right_  
_Feet cast in solid stone_  
_I got Gilligan's eyes_

_I still believe_  
_It's you and me to the end of time_

_When we collide we come together_  
_If we don't we'll always be apart_  
_I'll take a bruise, I know you're worth it_  
_When you hit me, hit me hard_

_'Cos you said our love_  
_Is letting us go, guess what_  
_Our future is for_  
_Many of horror_  
_Our future's for_  
_Many of horror_

_I still believe_  
_It's you and me to the end of time_

_When we collide we come together_  
_If we don't we'll always be apart_  
_I'll take a bruise, I know you're worth it_  
_When you hit me, hit me hard_

**CHAPTER EIGHTEEN**

**Many of Horror**

So this is how it feels.

To be living life like a fairytale.

To be like Snow White who wakes up to the prince's kiss after eating the poisoned apple and getting the feeling that in the midst of slumber and wakefulness everything just seemed to turn up roses.

So this is that feeling.

To be able to pretend just for this brief period of time that Noah was not the man who hurt her and that there are no years of mistrust that lie like an ocean separating them.

Throughout all the time they were apart Rachel had always imagined several scenarios in her head of what it would be like should Noah and her ever meet again.

There's that one where in they shout and cry and point fingers at each other for the miserable turn that their relationship has had.

Or that of another wherein their eyes would meet in a crowded street and they would just pass by each other with barely a nod exchanged like they were the etrangest of strangers.

But never in her head did she imagine a time which is exactly like today.

A moment where they can just be carefree and light and spontaneous and at peace like they have not inflicted so much hurt and pain on each other.

She knows that life is not really that easy but perhaps for today she can forget.

Just for today, she thought.

She'd let herself forget just for today.

With breathless laughter, Rachel looked back at Noah as they boarded the bus that finally stopped after a couple of meters.

Soaked and dripping from running in the pouring rain, Rachel gave out a wide smile as Noah paused for awhile after boarding as he stood stumped over the collection box. Awkwardly, he took out a 100 dollar bill from his wallet and handed it to the driver who looked back at him incredulously.

Giggling uncontrollably, Rachel bumps her hip twice against the box, the machine giving out a soft beep as the balance was deducted instantaneously from her Metro Card which was inside her pants pocket.

Noah watched the proceedings with awe as he lagged behind her. Mimicking her action subtly when he thought she was not looking and frowning in confusion when his action did not generate the same response.

It took all of Rachel's willpower to keep from laughing.

As if the fates were really conspiring to make it a great day for the both of them, the bus was empty except for an elderly grandmother who was almost nodding off to sleep as she hugged her umbrella against her and a high school student in uniform who was busy texting.

Rachel led the way towards the backseat. Noah still lollygagging behind her as he takes in the wonder and amazement of his first bus ride just like a little boy who suddenly found a new toy which he never knew even existed as he took the seat beside her.

"So this is what commuting is like… "

He whispered under his breath as he turned to look at her. His boyish smile quickly disappearing when he caught a glimpse of Rachel with her hair dripping wet, looking like a rain soaked puppy.

With a frown of confusion, Rachel looked at Noah as he frantically felt around in his pockets.

There was a frown between his brows that grew even deeper as he fished out a crisp, white handkerchief and without further thought and without skipping a beat, he held her still while he patted her dry.

Rachel's eyes widened in surprise as his soft hands gently trailed over her face to wipe the dampness on her skin away.

Noah's eyebrows were knitted together in concentration at the task at hand.

His gaze following the raindrops that are still on her skin intensely until he reached her neckline.

Rachel's hands gripped his wrist then.

Noah looked up at her and his cheeks reddened as their eyes met and for a moment, Rachel resisted the urge to tease him as his cheeks flushed when he realized just where his hands were going.

Clearing his throat in embarrassment, he put his hands on his lap and averted his gaze from hers as he softly mumbled under his breath.

"Sorry…"

Rachel gave him an embarassed smile and a nod.

As if what happened was a wake up call, a sudden awkwardness descended upon them. It was like the fragile truce that they have silently agreed on was temporarily washed away, Like a pinprick passed through the bubble that they have enclosed themselves in for the past hour causing it to unexpectedly burst.

Both of them were silent for a moment, lost in their own thoughts as Rachel looked out the window at the passing scenery of a New York City that was somewhat still as the downpour continues.

She does not know if it was the coldness of the weather or the exhaustion that is now just sinking on in her after they've ran after the bus, but she felt herself growing drowsy. Her eyes closing involuntarily and her head lolling about her neck while she try her best to pry her eyes open to fight off the inviting temptation of slumber.

The next thing she knew, the bus was already half full and she was waking up with her head on Noah's shoulder. There was a wide smile on his face as he watched her come to her senses making her jerk upright as she gasped in sudden realization at where her head had been resting.

"Did you have a good nap?"

He asked with a devilishly charming smile on his face that made him 10x even more goodlooking, if that was even possible.

Rachel stared at him with her mouth wide open before giving him a timid nod.

Looking ahead to check out the traffic in front of them, Noah continued talking while Rachel shakes her head to get herself out of the daze that she had just fallen into.

"You've only been asleep for 30 minutes but the traffic is barely moving. It must be the rain."

Noah looked at her then, a slight frown marring his brow as if unsure of what her facial expression meant but then his face immediately brightened when he saw his newly acquired department store standing majestically in the background.

Rachel followed his gaze, suddenly backing up against her seat as she gets an ominous feeling about whatever idea it is that Noah now has in his head.

"Let's get off."

He wiggled his eyebrows at her.

Rachel almost groaned out loud.

This day had been one impulsive decision after another and frankly she's getting disoriented. A fact that she's not particularly comfortable with as the last time she went by the seat of her pants and deviated from her plans it led her to heartbreak and no other than with the same man who is now with her.

"Where are we going?"

Rachel asked with a mixture of excitement and trepidation.

However, even before she can say another word, Noah was already shouting at the driver.

"We're getting off!"

Rachel's eyes widened with surprise as once again Noah grabbed a hold of her hand and pulled her forward to a destination that she'd be damned if she even knows where.

She looked at him in confusion as they entered Times.

The crowd was quite thick when they breezed through the doors of the plush store which was Puckerman Industries newest acquisition. The weekday crowd was more plentiful than usual as pedestrians take the time to window shop and take shelter inside the building while they waited for the rain outside to subside.

Noah's strides were sure and confident, unmindful of the employees scampering around pretending to be busy as they smile at him nervously whenever he pass by them.

"Noah! Where are we going? What are we doing here?"

Rachel asked once again. Noah sighed as if she should have known the answer.

"We need new clothes, silly. We're soaking wet. We're going shopping"

Rachel jerked her hands away from Noah's grip. The reality of their situation slowly sinking in on her that they are now at a time in their lives when they are not at liberty to have days together anymore such as these.

Noah looked at her with a slightly puzzled expression on his face. There was a baffled look in his eye as he watched her stand awkwardly a few inches away from him.

"WHY?"

She knew she sounded whiney but Rachel can't help it as she shouted exasperatedly.

"I- I went to lunch because you said we're going to talk about the script. And we have not done anything of that sort yet! We have eaten and chased after a bus and you had your first bus ride and now we're here… and - now you're saying we're going shopping?"

She almost stamped her foot in frustration. She knows she sounded unattractively childish but being this close to him is making her feel inept and confused.

Like she's back to the Rachel of old who was naïve enough to believe everything she's told just because he told her so.

Noah sighed, a stoic expression coming over his face.

"Rachel, I'm cold. I don't want to get sick and I only want to get a new shirt. Is there something so terrible about that?"

Rachel felt herself reddening at his logical explanation, a flush coming over her face as she thought of her immature outburst.

Against her will, she found herself following him.

With a toss of her head and without another word, she started flipping throughthe clothes that were on the rack beside her.

Just for today, she repeated.

Just for today.

Unbeknownst to her, Noah was watching her and he turned his head to hide the smile that is now threatening to take over his face the moment that she stopped fighting against him.

They walked towards the mens section and scoured the racks silently. Noah holds up a casual button down shirt against his body which caught his gaze.

"How's this?"

He asked her. Rachel hesitated for a moment before taking a step back. There was a slight frown of concentration on her face as she pictured Noah wearing it.

With a slow shake of her head, she turned back towards one of the racks. She pulled up a crisp white button down and dark denim pants as she called out to a saleslady…

"We'd get this top in medium and these jeans with a 31 inch waistline, length, tall."

Noah stared at her. A wide smile on his face as Rachel turned back to look at him.

"Wh-What?"

She asked.

"You still remember… My size?"

He looked extremely touched at the thought. Rachel turned away from him, pretending to flick through the clothes that were on another rack as she tried to hide her flaming hot cheeks from his piercing gaze.

"Well… It was just one of those things."

She mumbled under her breath.

He looked at her with a mildly disbelieving expression, his gaze still fixed on her as he moved towards the dressing room which caused Rachel to lean back against the wall weak kneed the moment that he was out of sight.

DAMMIT.

How can she be so foolish as to get so easily swayed the moment he shows her even one iota of kindness?

Seeing him come out from the dressing room, she straightened back up, purposefully keeping a nonchalant expression on her face even if her heart was thumping wildly in her chest as she took in the sight of him in the clothes that she had specifically chosen for him.

DANG.

He's hot.

What was she thinking? She should have dressed him in a Glad Trash Bag instead.

However, so much for that thought, she scoffed. She bet he can be dressed in nothing but that and still manage to come across as GQ cover material.

"Let's go?"

She lifted her eyebrows at him as she turned to leave. Noah dashed quickly to her side to block off her exit, much to her surprise.

"Your turn."

He said excitedly.

Rachel's mouth drops open in surprise as she looked at him with a confused expression.

"My what?"

And once again, even before she can say another word, she found herself caught in the whirlwind of Noah's actions as he pushed her towards the escalator going towards the womens section and the next thing she knew he was picking out clothes for her.

The dress he picked out was quite simple. A flowing white number that fell to her knees but one which seemed to highlight her slightly tanned skin and which succeeded in making her look even more feminine.

He was quiet for a few moments after that, like an adolescent caught in the throes of a teenage crush as they walked reluctantly towards the exit while he glanced at her dressed up in the dress he picked again and again.

With each glance that he throws her way, she can see his grin getting wider, a fact that filled her with so much confidence that without giving it much thought and before she knew it his good mood has already rubbed off on her.

"You like it that much? "

She asked in a tone which she meant to be sarcastic but which came out as being flirtatious.

He grinned even wider, nodding his head vigorously as he looked at her blatantly.

"You look smashing, babe"

He said with a wink flirtatiously without thinking and as if he suddenly realized what he just did, there was an awkward pause following his sentence.

However, it might have been the magic of that day that led them not to make mountains out of molehills.

Laughing genuinely at Noah's faux pas, Rachel reluctantly checked her watch and was surprised to learn that they've passed the entire afternoon in this pseudo date state and now it is almost nearing 6 PM.

"So what now?"

She asked reluctantly.

"I have to get home as Sophie is still sore about me not going home early yesterday."

He turned to look at her then, a sincere expression coming over his face as he seemed to once again be deep in thought.

"Is—is-it okay for me to buy her a gift? Sort of to make it up to her? What does she like?"

Rachel felt her heart twist in her chest. He looked so happy at the thought of buying Sophie a gift that it almost brought tears to her eyes.

She wonders what could have happened if Quinn was not around. Will they be happy together as a family? Would Sophie now be calling Noah daddy and not Finn whom she started calling that by herself when she was two after watching a TV show about a father and daughter much to both of their surprise?

Rachel watched the dilemma on Noah's face as he picked his gift with much concentration when they reached the toy section. He had put so much effort and thought into the gift that he would be giving a child whom he thought is a stranger but who is really his daughter, if only he knows.

Riddled with guilt, Rachel asked herself if she made the right decision in keeping him from Sophie for the first time ever since she was born.

Will Quinn be able to accept the existence of her daughter? Would things be any different if Noah knew that the short time he's spent with her has borne them a child? Would he be relieved and thankful for the decisions that she's made? Would he perhaps- hate her once the secret is revealed?

"Will she like this? Or this? Or this?"

Rachel jolted herself out from her reverie as she nodded at Noah who's now holding up three stuffed animals that she's sure would drive Sophie crazy.

"She'd love any of those. Those are all her favorites."

Noah's face brightened up, like a kid getting praised for his hard work, he has a proud look on his face that he had his choices right.

"What the heck! I'll buy her all three!"

"B-but"

Rachel protested. However, Noah was not listening anymore as he walked towards the counter to have all of his purchases wrapped.

She does not know if it was her reluctance to cut short the truce that they shared together today or the thoughts that are going on in her head about Sophie and Noah but impulsively, she threw a question at him that also surprised her.

"Would- Would you like to personally give that to Sophie tonight? You're welcome for dinner at home if you'd like."

He gave her a surprised look before breaking out into a tentative smile, a look of appreciation coming over his face as he stared at her intensely that it made her heart flutter like crazy inside her chest.

"I'd- I'd like that…"

"Okay then"

And that was that.

As she watched him pick the gift wrap with as much care as he did for the toys he picked out, Rachel hoped that this invitation is not something that she would regret.

That maybe after years of hiding, it is about time for Noah to have a chance to get to know his child even if he doesn't know the whole truth.

Maybe just for that moment, she can imagine the life that they'd live if they indeed made a family together.

Maybe by doing that he can understand her for the choices that she made in the past and perhaps in some little way, she can pay him back for the things that he doesn't know she still owes him.

* * *

Keeping herself busy with cooking for that night's dinner, Rachel smiled ruefully as she remembered Sophie's reaction when she brought Noah home that evening.

Her daughter had never been good with strangers. Perhaps, it was the life they led in London where they were always careful about the people they met but Sophie has grown up with this innate mistrust of being around people that she doesn't really know or remember.

There was an uncomfortable silence that followed after Rachel introduced Noah and herto each other. Father and daughter measuring each other up as they stare at each other in her apartments hallway while Rachel wondered how one can not tell that they are related.

They have the same sharp gaze and the same awkward stance, the same tentative look as they size each other up while waiting for the next move from the other like they were squaring off for a fight.

"Good evening mister"

Sophie greeted Noah politely much to Rachel's amazement. She held on to Rachel's hand with a loose grip while hugging her favorite stuffed toy from Finn in the other. She treated Noah with lukewarm curiosity as if she couldn't care less about this adult whom her mother has brought home for her to meet, but at least, she didn't sulk and pout as she is wont to do whenever she is around a stranger.

Noah cleared his throat uncomfortably. Obviously not used to being around kids and not knowing how to respond to them or what to do. Crouching down to meet her at eye level, he greeted Sophie back formally, his hands extending to hers in a handshake as Sophie looked at it dubiously.

"Hello, Sophie."

Looking up at her mother for encouragement, Rachel gave a little nod and Sophie put her little hands against that of her fathers. There was a strange feeling that came over Noah at that moment that he can't quite put a finger on. It was a feeling as if that moment is something that he should remember and cherish but it was only fleeting and afterwards, he just felt somehow confused and restless.

Having had the ice considerably broken, Noah brought out the toys that he bought from the store and Sophie's face immediately brightened. A smile coming over her cute little face as she tore the wrapping off her gifts excitedly while Rachel felt an immeasurable amount of happiness at just seeing the two of them together.

With a sigh, Rachel returned to the present as she glanced up from mixing her salad dressing to see if there's any sign of movement coming from the bedroom hallway.

Noah had volunteered to play with Sophie to try out her new toys while her nanny and Rachel prepared dinner and they've been camped out in her bedroom eversince.

Leaning forward slightly to listen for sounds coming from there, Rachel was only able to encounter utter silence.

Her curiosity piqued, Rachel wiped her hands with the kitchen towel before telling the nanny to set the table for dinner.

She then walked tentatively towards Sophie's bedroom, torn between wanting to see what the two are up to but not really wanting to intrude in their first bonding moment.

Turning the knob slowly, Rachel's eyes widened with surprise as she took in the scene before her.

In utter silence and with outmost concentration, Sophie was "prettying up" Noah who was seated on the floor. He had his eyes closed as she put blush on on his cheeks that are now so red it looks as if he's been punched and there are also several rollers on his head worthy of a trailer park housewife. He had on false eyelashes that were askew and his eyelids are now a veritable color palette of blues and violets while his lips have lipstick that almost went up to his nostrils and chin while Sophie bite her lips in concentration as if she's doing a masterpiece.

Rachel snorted in repressed laughter. Noah opening his eyes suddenly and dropping his head in embarrassment when he saw Rachel standing at the doorway. Sophie looked at her mother proudly, her pudgy hand still holding on to a blush brush as she pointed Noah out to her mother with a wide smile on her face.

"He's pretty, mommy!"

Rachel tried to keep a straight face but failed. Noah now also chuckling to himself over his sorry state as a moment of understanding once again passed between them.

"Yes, baby… Uncle Noah is very pretty… Now, why don't you go to nanny and have your hands washed so we could eat dinner, huh?"

Sophie nodded.

"m'kay."

She turned to leave the room but not before turning back to look at Noah again and giving him a thumbs up sign.

"PRETTY!"

The gesture made Noah and Rachel laugh once again.

The air was heavy with silence once Sophie had left. Noah already starting to wipe the makeup off his face as Rachel leaned with her arms crossed on the doorway watching him for a few seconds.

Sighing heavily, she straightened herself up from the door to turn back towards the kitchen.

"Dinner is ready, you can-"

"She's a good kid. She looks just like you…Does she - ummm… also take after her father?"

Rachel paused midturn. Surprised at the sudden question that Noah threw her out of the blue. She knew that in his head he was thinking of Finn but she gave him an answer that is as close to the truth as she can get.

"Her temper is way like him… Sometimes she's spoilt and sulky, always doing things that I scold her for… but still she always knows the right thing to do when the right time comes…"

He gave a rueful smile as he said jokingly.

"I never took Finn for that type. She sounds just like me."

Rachel felt the color drain from her face. She quickly put on a brave smile and a fake laugh in front of him so he would not think anything was amiss before changing the subject.

"Just go out wh-"

"Thanks, Rach."

He said softly before lifting his gaze up to hers with a sad smile on his face.

"Thank you for inviting me here tonight… It was an honor meeting your daughter…"

She almost cried at that… her heart twisting in agony at the sincerity in his voice…

"No…"

She said tenderly… hoping that her voice was able to convey all the things that are left unsaid and which remains in her heart …

"Thank you… You might not realize it but your presence here tonight meant so much… For both of us…"

He looked at her in confusion… Sophie's cries of joy breaking the moment as they both looked towards the direction where her voice was coming from in curiosity…

"Daddy! You came!"

Rachel's eyes widen in shock as she saw Finn coming towards her with Sophie in his arms. There was a wide smile on his face as he peppered Sophie with kisses making her trash about and giggle as Finn continued to walk forward.

"You- You're here?"

She said nervously while throwing an anxious look at Noah who is still hidden from his view and who is now brushing the seat of his pants off before slowly taking off the rollers in his hair.

"Sophie called while I was at the gym and said she was bored so I rushed here. Why? Is there- "

Finn's voice trailed off as Noah's presence was made known to him. His tensed jaw the only sign that he was discomfited by his presence as he took in his comfortable appearance beside Rachel in her apartments doorway.

Noah continued to remove the rollers nonchalantly.

His confidence never waning despite Finn's presence or the fact that he looks fresh and all American boy next door while he look like something the cat dragged in because of Sophie.

"Oh- Oh- so _WE_ have a visitor."

Finn said anxiously. His face darkening for a second before he pasted on a pleasant smile on his face as Noah gave him a polite nod.

There was a civil atmosphere between them as they shook hands.

Rachel does not know why but even if that is the case, she remained nervous like they would take a swing at each other anytime.

"He—umm… he bought Sophie a birthday present and brought it here."

She explained anxiously.

Finn nodded in understanding as he turned to look at Sophie who was holding on to him tight.

"Did you thank Mr. Puckerman yet, babycakes?"

With that one sentence he managed to make Noah feel like an outsider.

His sad eyes took in the scene of Sophie's pudgy arms around Finn's neck while Rachel remained standing next to him and for a moment he was confused when he saw the almost resentful gaze that she's throwing Finn.

All of a sudden and despite the way that Rachel was shooting dagger looks at him, Noah felt an intense longing within him to be in Finn's place.

He would give up everything just to be in his place.

Just for one moment.

Even a second perhaps.

"Dinner is ready, Rachel"

The appearance of Sophie's nanny broke through the tense surroundings.

Finn puts on a wide smile on his face as he brought Sophie down who rushed towards the dining table like she was on a sugar rush or as if she was Road Runner.

"Great! I'm starving!"

He exclaimed as he looked at the food on the table and looked at Rachel with a twinkle in his eye.

A look that did not escape Noah's eagle eye as he drew in a sharp intake of breath to prepare for the long night.

"Wow. It's beef stew! My favorite! Your mom must have known that I was coming tonight huh, Sugar?'

Finn smiled at Sophie while Sophie made a face.

She spoke to air her distaste over one of the ingredients of Rachel's stew just at the same time that Noah did.

"MOM! Why did you put carrots!"

"I'd have mine without the carrots!"

The two of them turned to look at each other then.

Finn straightening up as Sophie looked at Noah with new found admiration like she has found an ally.

"Mister, I hate carrots too! My mom makes me eat them all the time."

She said sulkily as if Rachel was torturing her.

Noah leaned forward to whisper to Sophie conspiratorially.

"Carrots should not be sold nor planted if I have my way."

Sophie giggled as she nodded vigorously.

Pulling the seat that was beside Noah to take a seat beside him happily.

"Sophie… You don't want to sit beside Daddy? You always sit beside Daddy.'

Finn said in a mock hurt voice as Noah turned on his mega watt smile towards Sophie.

"Sophie, You had fun with mister today didn't you?"

Sophie turned to look from one to the other. Finn and Noah engaged in a childish battle of wills for Sophie's affection as Rachel remained forgotten in the sidelines.

Sophie rolled her eyes exasperatedly.

"Daddy, I'd sit beside Uncle Puck tonight since he's our guest. "

She said in an extremely adult like manner as Noah threw a look of victory at Finn.

"Mom, you can sit beside Daddy for tonight."

Finn saw Noah's smile disappearing and it was his turn to look at him victoriously.

Deciding it's time to play referee, Rachel moved forward with the pot of stew in her hand.

She gave Sophie a warm smile as she began to serve her with it

"Sophie… be careful, it's hot okay? "

She turned to look at Finn and Noah who are still staring at each other warily.

"Help yourselves."

Just then Sophie clapped her hands, a delighted expression on her face as she looked at Rachel.

"WOW! It's really Daddy's favorite…Mom, you made this for daddy didn't you?"

Finn made an okay sign at Sophie and winked at her.

"Of course Sophie! Mommy always knows what daddy wants!"

He said boastfully while throwing Noah a pointed look.

Noah just gave him a sarcastic smile. He wanted to punch that arrogant smile off the jerks face but he knew he was baiting him and damn if he would fall into that trap.

Sophie broke the tensed atmosphere as she raised her plate towards Finn.

"You can have my potatoes Daddy. Give me some more of your meat."

"Alright!"

Finn readily separated the potatoes from Sophie's plate as he gave her more meat.

"You know how I love potatoes. You can have the meat."

He raised his head happily at Rachel.

Noah watched the proceedings with hooded eyes and took a swig from his wineglass as his unwarranted jealousy threatened to consume him.

"Thanks…"

Finn looked at Rachel tenderly.

"The food is delicious."

Rachel shrugged. Somehow she felt a sense of resentment that Finn came in tonight without telling her ahead of time.

"It's no big deal."

She said coldly and Finn can't help but frown at the icy tone of her voice.

It may be that confusion that caused Finn to spill his wine as Noah lets out a snicker and Rachel gasps in reaction.

"Oh! Let me get some paper napkins!"

Rachel stood up from the table. Unaware of Finn and Noah staring each other down like two warriors as Sophie looked at them curiously while slowly chewing. Finn wiped the last drop of wine from the table, semblance and order once again prevailing in the room after the commotion. Finn looked at Sophie's almost empty plate. He scooped some more stew for her as if nothing happened while Noah looked on.

"Sophie eat some more."

Finn carefully picks out the potatoes from Sophie's dish, Noah leaning forward towards Sophie sternly as he lectured her.

"Sophie, you shouldn't be so picky with your food. Who taught you such a bad habit?"

He turned to glance at Finn accusingly. Finn's eyes widened in surprise at the obvious jab but even before he can react Noah's gaze was once again on Sophie.

"You need potatoes to grow and to be strong."

"But mister, you pick on carrots too!"

She looked at him dubiously.

A look of triumph came over Finn's face at that as he waited for Noah's excuse. Noah threw him an embarassed glance as he cleared his throat before proceeding cautiously.

"Ummm… ahhh… that's because carrots are the exception… I still grew tall and strong without eating it… Don't you think so?"

He said proudly while flexing his biceps for her.

Sophie's eyes widened.

"REALLY? Daddy is always forcing me to eat it."

She said with a pout as Rachel returns to the table. Her presence barely felt as she watched everyone who seemed to be deep in discussion.

"Puckerman! What sort of things are you teaching Sophie?"

Finn scolded him as he picked out a carrot from the pot purposefully and then put it on Sophie's plate much to her dismay.

"Carrots help improve your eyesight but it will also make you pretty as it help with the growth of your hair and nails and your skin."

He lectured Sophie but looked at Noah with eyes full of challenge as Noah pretended to gag and vomit making Sophie giggle.

"So don't listen to his nonsense and eat up, young lady."

He finished seriously.

Noah closed his eyes impatiently before meeting Finn's gaze head on.

"But it's more important to eat potatoes. It's rich in potassium and gives you energy and is a good source of Vitamin C."

Noah then scooped out potatoes from the pot and once again put it on Sophie's plate…

"So it's good for toddlers like Sophie."

He raised his eyebrows as he looked at Finn stone faced…

Rachel looked on at the scene in amazement.

A curious expression coming over her face as she looked from one man to the other…

"Are you guys - teaching Sophie? Or are you telling each other?"

Both men averted their gazes then, their eyes falling to their plates as they concentrated on eating at the same time.

Sophie looked on at Rachel pleadingly. She looked at her plate with dismay that is now full of carrots and potatoes as she fell victim to the two mens childish war.

"Mommy… I'm full."

She said looking as if she's about to cry.

"Finish your food Sophie!"

Finn and Noah said at the same time. Both of them gave each other fake smiles as Sophie clapped her hand to her forehead and shook her head in dismay.

"MEN!"

She rolled her eyes exasperatedly like an adult and Rachel and Noah can't help but laugh together.

At that moment, that particular, certain moment, their gazes met and a tender smile of understanding passed between them and suddenly Finn felt as if he was suffocating.

He knew it's only a matter of time.

A matter of time when Rachel would ask for Noah's forgiveness for all the years that she's robbed him of the chance to have moments like these with her daughter and when that happens, Finn knows that unlike today, he can't ever fight him because that right was and is and will always be Noah's forever and always.

* * *

Lying in bed that evening, Rachel tossed and turned as sleep seemed to elude her.

The day has been magical to say the least. A reminder of the past life she had with Noah when everything seemed to be simpler and less complicated…

As soon as he left after dinner, it was as if her heart went back to being empty, like there was a space there that had been longing to be filled for the longest time with his presence and for a moment it was happy and content before the coldness and starkness of reality hits her once again.

It was a feeling that she knew Finn shares. A feeling that he must be also keeping in his heart even without telling her, because his silence tonight was a giveaway of how much Noah's presence in her home that evening rattled and scared him more than he was letting on as he made up an excuse to leave early.

Turning to look at Sophie who was half awake and half asleep beside her, Rachel lied down to give her a soft kiss on her forehead.

"You aren't asleep yet? It's late."

Sophie opened her eyes for a moment. A smile touching her lips before sleepily whispering,

"Mommy, Can't you make today grow longer? That mister, He is not bad at all."

And with a smile and one last contented sigh, just like that she was asleep.

Rachel looked at her daughter's sleeping face for a moment, a sad smile passing through her lips as she hugged her close to her.

"I'm sorry Sophie. I should have told you about your dad from the very beginning. I wish I could have let you call him Daddy instead of Uncle Finn that time when you were crying about not having someone to call that. "

She paused as if lost in her memories.

"I love your father very much. And today, it made me realize that perhaps, I still do. But things are not that simple. "

She brushed Sophies head aside from her face, burying her face in the smell of her for a moment before continuing on.

"You remind me of him in so many ways, do you know that? That sometimes even if I'm sad, I'm not so sad at all, because it's as if I also have him here because he's in you."

Rachel trailed her fingers slowly against her childs' sleeping face. Sophie's chest rising and falling evenly in time to her breathing as her mother watched her with a tender gaze.

Lying on her back and remembering what happened for today, Rachel paused as she recalled Noah's tender expression as he shook Sophie's hand the first time that they met.

Turning to her side as if extremely bothered by that memory, Rachel threw back the covers and tiptoed out of her bedroom with outmost care in order not to wake Sophie up.

She went towards her living room and she took out a box that she had kept there…

There in a carton that she had not unpacked yet, wrapped in a container that she had not opened for the longest time, Rachel lifted Sophie's baby book.

With shaky fingers, she caressed the front cover of the book lovingly and as she flipped the first page, she paused midway. Her fingers trailing over an ultrasound of Sophie that she had taken when she first discovered that she was pregnant and tucked discreetly on that page was an unsent letter that she had written to Noah at that time.

Torn between opening up old wounds and bringing up memories of a past life that had hurt her so, Rachel proceeded to read on as tears filled her eyes.

_Dearest Noah,  
_

_Today, I have heard the best news in weeks after having separated from you. I am still reeling with the news of the fact that we have made a child and as of this moment my thoughts are blank except for my heartfelt desire that somehow I can share this blessing with you._

_I have no idea if it is a boy or a girl as the doctor says it is too soon to tell but I wish it was a boy so he could remind me of you. Will he have your eyes that seem to sparkle whenever you have a mischievous thought? Or your lips that even as you speak seem to pucker as you concentrate fully on your next idea?_

_Just imagining it is making me smile._

_But whether it be a boy or a girl, one things for sure, I will raise him so well that even if you're not around, you'd be proud to call him your own. A son or a daughter who has his father's smarts and confidence in life and I hope that someday if you'd meet, he will be a person of his own thoughts and ideas and you'd look back and say that you're glad he is your child._

_Just like how I fell in love with you suddenly, I'm already in love with our child as much too. I am scared definitely but I am just relying on the memories of the past that we've shared when I can still believe that you loved me as fully as I loved you._

_I wish you were here but sadly all wishes don't come true. Our love may have failed but I'd still teach our child that Love conquers all. Perhaps in time, he'd be the key to heal our past mistakes and to make everything right. _

_We will always be thinking of you. Including you in our prayers and watching you from afar as you make a life for yourself far from us with Quinn and the family that you will be making with her._

_We wish for nothing but your happiness._

_Love always,  
Rachel and your unborn child_

And for the last time as she read the letter, Rachel cried.

Dry, great, heaving sobs for a life that she wished they could have lived together but sadly didn't.

She said goodbye to all the past heartbreaks and heartaches as she put it behind her in order to move forward to a new beginning where she can let Noah go with all her heart without bitterness nor malice.

It's time to forget the past.

It should not hurt her anymore but rather attest to the fact that after all these time, she had accepted whatever fate they might have with an open mind.

To wish for a life where Noah and her may not be together as lovers but one where they can enjoy each other as friends.

The fates have taken everything away from her already and she had conceded effortlessly so surely that is not much to ask?

To have Noah in her life as a friend rather than this life of hate and bitterness that is slowly eating away at her and probably then they can all find the peace of mind that had been eluding them for the past six years that they have spent apart.

* * *

**_AUTHORS NOTE:_**

_Apologies everyone for the very long wait. Real life got in the way and I was away on travel so I didn't have much time to write. I hope that this installment more than made up for it. Just a couple more chapters to go and secrets will be revealed, lives would be turned around and the world for these characters will turn upside down._

_Comments are LOVE!_


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